From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #329 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Thursday, September 21 2000 Volume 03 : Number 329 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: random [Tudegirl08@aol.com] ET: another awful day..errr [DrkShadws85@aol.com] ET: ~streamers~ [shivergirl ] ET: ~from fuzzyhead~ [shivergirl ] ET: ~passing notes~ [shivergirl ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 20 Sep 2000 01:42:56 EDT From: Tudegirl08@aol.com Subject: ET: random well, you've done it again without knowing, without trying you've unleashed the sin and devoured the part of me that's dying Let me be here standing still and don't question why Leave all and let me drink until I can't breath or cross the line Just go really far away Where i can't see you You're lips I can't taste and You're eyes won't see through I've been bleeding inside If you had the time to look My heart is what's kept me alive at the same time it's what you took what do you expect from me three months later what do you need I have nothing you see without you at my feet ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 20 Sep 2000 19:26:09 EDT From: DrkShadws85@aol.com Subject: ET: another awful day..errr the pleasing of the skin isnt quite the same anymore doesnt taste quite the same the sun doesnt tone things down, it does nothing but destroy thm three little bees buzzing away, talk about whatever you will me them I dont care Im used to it maybe if I didnt look up as much it wouldnt matter but Im super paranoid and Im more than aware of it apparentness lies in my hand and I crush myself your behavior drives me crazy and all I can think about is drug talk I stopped them but they call me they want me to return back to them to drone out the silence get rid of the emptiness I would let something fill it but nothing wants to come in I cant take thirty more minutes of this place, this hell, these people, this time wanna be a different person and have a different name laugh at things that dont even matter and dont make any sense look at the chciken scratch on thie paper, almost totally meaningless football assholes, jurks, wanna kill them die die die hahahahahaha my minds taken over itself, gone corrupt, gone wrong all over again dont make me ask for you to do that twice as it is you are pissing me off remain sad through the happy even if there isnt any making fun of people you shoudnt do that no no hun dont five me another dirty look Ill have to slap it off your face I hate you heavent really realized the hate until now fuck you, lets blow up this dark place until we can be together I want to disappear I want you to come here and them to stay away not writing like I should, not being who I am no worse than normal, no better move the wrist and not the fingers the fingers wont hold you up ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 20 Sep 2000 21:04:09 -0400 From: shivergirl Subject: ET: ~streamers~ + hair like autumn leaves tumbling, unraked by your little-man hands while my sheer mouth is open, waiting for life's split ends to stop whipping up turbulence in the wind like a lonely reed gallivanting on the breeze in desperate need of moisture and a new season to settle + the off-days i mark on the calendar of emotional yo-yos more Xs than Os in these numbered spaces missing smiley-faces yet you crawl up into the rectangles the dates i need you most making mini-anniversaries enough like christmas to let me get through this til good days co-exist with me again on a regular basis + the air of an afternoon in fall the breath of the goddess in all her invisible loveliness available to inhale this magic oneness spread out like this country's humongous youngness i will miss this despite going back to my roots despite the ancient green i first did witness + ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 20 Sep 2000 21:04:18 -0400 From: shivergirl Subject: ET: ~from fuzzyhead~ (for ian) + greetings, caveman love of centuries ago it seems like april 12 just a second ago and you know i never did figure it out where did you go besides down east and out west and anywhere else that promoted individualness and now here you are back from where i want to be next prematurely with an eyebrow ring well, you always did know the things that turned me on until you switched us off i was holding on to your sweetness like my fate depended on it but i was wrong kismet had nothing to do with it it was just my heart's weakness catastrophic tendencies and such but it's all gone we're all done and i'm all better and all that's left is this remnant of a relationship-image in life's long-forgotten yearbook or one of your old heart-melting letters that eventually came to an end despite all the i love you forevers tucked inside my memory bank like a faded four leaf clover + ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 20 Sep 2000 21:28:18 -0400 From: shivergirl Subject: ET: ~passing notes~ + do you still drive that red toy-car the one that hit the deer in the dark, with no headlights when she was most expecting it because i remember it living in my driveway inherently knowing the way to my house as if you had programmed the route after all those hundred thousand times we got undressed and hot in your basement on the leather couch with cinnamon hearts strewn about the carpet upstairs on valentine's day my first to feel that way seeing our names shoveled in the snow outside in the winter field for the whole town to see spending weekends become each other's loose ends eventually across the street the setting an elementary school where you took me to break up to make me feel like a fool and break all the love-rules i didn't know i had made up but i didn't look back that day it's only in every other way that i do that even now and i suppose this poem is just another form of going back to something i lack because good-bye isn't enough after two years of everything except screwing in the sack and i think my conquest theory was maybe valid after all to hell with losing my womanly mystery isn't that just the same as losing sight of the real emerging me? so, no i don't believe we were ever meant to be don't worry but i do believe the way you chose to handle me left my feelings dangling so horribly is atrocious in the worst karmic sense and i think you owe me an apology: for writing so heart-stoppingly beautifully for ever letting me think you were perfect for me + ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #329 **********************************