From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #311 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Sunday, September 3 2000 Volume 03 : Number 311 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: ~cinders~ [shivergirl ] ET: Just A Thought Put Into Words... [DrkShadws85@aol.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sat, 02 Sep 2000 09:42:29 -0400 From: shivergirl Subject: ET: ~cinders~ + you can never be ignored if you're somewhat self-absorbed and don't you know these words are the fingerprints of my heart stuck to the silent sound like a trapped white butterfly going paralyzed all at once and there are no traces of glory left except this + panic-pains race up my lower back because you have retired from this world at least for tonight and i can feel it the absence of it physically the taking-away of your conscious devotion and thoughts toward me you see i don't like to be so painfully awake observing the world we make with love-changed eyes alone quarantined in my former state deprived of hope of you singing + there was a bee buzzing about my head asking to be held and it was you make no mistake i'd know your excessive love of pollen anywhere gone searching in all the wrong places once again i am unable to present the perfect flower for you assessment perusal eventual refusal so i swat your memory away + ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 2 Sep 2000 19:56:00 EDT From: DrkShadws85@aol.com Subject: ET: Just A Thought Put Into Words... Little Voices Inconclusive smiles lead to broader things you think you know everything under the sun and you probably do but the only thing that you don't really know is me I present myself in a way that I don't mean, I want to be anyone but me my heart frowns upon the world because it knows it will never get what it wants busy worker bees all around me and I have nothing to do don't bend over to see my drawings or what's on this piece of paper laugh, snicker, and stare at me, go ahead I don't mind just makes my eyes loose the life they rarely had don't eat at school because I don't have any friends I'm not as scary as the dirty looks I give don't let me be known by all, just by the ones that matter I look into the mirror to find someone I don't know even more so, someone I don't care about My aching heart wishes to be revived, but there's no one here willing to revive it what happened to the people that cared about me, did they all disappear? I was actually the one that left them I better continue to stare at the floor and pretend like I don't know what I'm talking about the sleeves on my shirt are falling down Look at the clock but time has never been more cruel don't lie to my face because I've learned how to see through you beep for email, cluck for chicken don't call me crazy because I care to much You know that I hate pictures, maybe you know the reason worthless pieces of shit never look quite right I am almost so familiar with my surroundings, I can hear every single sound but the clock isn't ticking, it stopped Wandering eyes have gotten me into trouble, I saw them looking at me express yourself through art, be perfect don't be yourself Only open hearts can laugh, mine is closed so I use something a little more artificial Tell me some more about the deer from the temple in Japan I know I acted like I don't care, I don't either but you're the one that really talks to me seminar can be hell sometimes Don't drag things out, just make sure what needs to be said is you'll regret it later I love you can make or break your life I'm to tired to think things over later I'll just care to much and say I don't care at all myself not caring is the biggest lie I use it all to often everything matters They all make fun of my music and tell me it's from the devil they shouldn't be the ones to judge, none of us should making fun of my soul isn't one of the characteristics I care for in my family learning to hide your pain does you more bad than good in the end I had more time then I thought and I wish it would go away I'm tired of this place, you wont give something time if you're scared I caught you looking at me again, please don't stop though you're really easy on the eyes little white lady speaking Spanish, you're here with me too tying knots in cords Never time to go, always time to come ten more minutes of needed control, four days off I can't sleep during the night time when I have something to think about just wait for me to doze off while I listen to the people in my head try to control me every so often I give in and let them take over ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #311 **********************************