From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #265 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Saturday, July 15 2000 Volume 03 : Number 265 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: should I feel bad? hmm [shell ] ET: advice! please [Katherine Alexandra ] ET: Am I beautiful?(poem) [Seth Fulmer ] ET: Just leave me alone(poem) [Seth Fulmer ] ET: When reality kicks you in the face (Or bites I guess) ["* armisia *" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 08:37:13 -0700 (PDT) From: shell Subject: ET: should I feel bad? hmm As some of you may or may not know, the daughter of the man that abused me for a few years as a child, commited suicide about a month ago. I didn't know her all that well, but I went to the funeral anyway. The man that did this to me is now losing it. He's totally off the deep end, and my mom and everyone else is pretty sure that his daughter having died may have killed him, and he's close to dying. This is probably because his wife did it, the wife's sister did it, and then his daughter did (they had hereditary personality disorders), and it's taken a great deal out of him. We all have strong feelings that, quite frankly, he'll be dead by August. Here's where the morals kick in. I, bluntly enough, feel great about this. He's raised Cain in my life and totally fucked things up, and I think it's wonderful that he's now getting what he deserves. He's a horrid person and nobody I know can stand him. I'm actually ecstatic about it. Should I be? Court Bug _______________________________________________________ Say Bye to Slow Internet! http://www.home.com/xinbox/signup.html ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 11:19:09 -0700 (PDT) From: Katherine Alexandra Subject: ET: advice! please alrighty, i need some advice. i have been dating this wonderful 24 year old man for the past 8 months, we both are in love with each other. he lives in another city... well there is this tiny little problem but it is breaking my heart. he has this ex girlfriend, his first love. he goes out with her about every other week dancing. she has slept with over 83 men, a bit of a whore. he knows this, but he always defends her. saying that he needs to be in her life bc she needs to see a man that is good, bc her daddy didnt give her enough love. he always says that he made a promise to her, to always be there. she fucked his best friend recently! i am incredibly jealous of her, and i know this is wrong of me, horrible of me, everything. but everytime he goes out with her, my heart feels so heavy, my stomach hurts, i feel so lonely and forgotten. i know he would never cheat on me, but i just feel so hurt everytime he is with her. i have tried so many different things, trying to understand this whole thing. he knows how i feel. but i dont think he realizes that if this keeps happening, he might lose me. this is long distance, we see other out twice a month. so its hard, bc there is this distance. and then she gets to see him more. i know its wrong to be jealous, but i cant help it. for instance, my birthday was on the same week as kathys. i know how petty this is, but he didnt come down here to see me, yet he went out dancing with her. and i know this sounds wrong of me, but my heart hurts. i always feel betrayed. anyhow, please someone give me some advice. i am going to visit him this weekend and possibly meet this girl. i know its so wrong of me, but i cant stop how i feel. please help! thanks kat __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get Yahoo! Mail – Free email you can access from anywhere! http://mail.yahoo.com/ ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 16:13:49 -0400 (EDT) From: Seth Fulmer Subject: ET: Am I beautiful?(poem) Hey there everyone :) I wrote this poem on Monday soon after a discussion with someone, with which quite a few of you are familiar. The poem is old as I sorta got over the main feeling of the poem last night when I had a sort of emotional breakdown hehe :) I hope you enjoy the poem. Comments, flames, questions, suggestions, and the like as always are welcome but not required. Please let me know if you don't wish to receive my poetry anymore. Take cares and Have a Great Day!! :o) -Seth =================================== Am I beautiful? by Seth D. Fulmer 7/10/00 I love you sweetheart But sometimes I want to die Sleeping in my bed at night Dreaming that you're alright A little girl walking on the street tells me not to do it "Do what," I said, "I'm lost in thought, and about to walk myself in traffic" She says sometimes "You're uglier than sin," that she loves me then she wounds me I round up an army to kick her ass but sometimes I think she's right. I am an ugly person in personality, physique, and morality I see evil things; I do all the time and that I'm truly nothing pretty to speak of Look at the freak show; he's uglier than sin He could freak out even God, who's forgiving. A little bit of sin, and a whole lot of sorrow The boy should die but nobody wants to go near him I care for you pretty girl, you do and say sweet things You have faith in me where I have none What do you think? Am I beautiful? ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 16:22:37 -0400 (EDT) From: Seth Fulmer Subject: ET: Just leave me alone(poem) Yesterday I was walking to my workstudy job and was tortured by stuff and I just stopped and got my notepad out and started writing this poem. I felt better almost immediately after writing the poem because as many of you know, for me poems are vessels for energy. Comments, flames, questions, and the like are welcome but not required. If you don't want my poems, just lemme know too :) Take cares and I hope you all have a fantastic Day! :o) -Seth ================================== Just Leave Me Alone by Seth D. Fulmer 7/13/00 I raise up energy from the earth and heighten my defenses so much it feels better He sends his demons up to hurt me to make me feel bad all guilty and sorrowful Little does she know though I really feel this pain deep in my heart and under my skin The penny's not found today I wonder why though? Has God abandoned me or am I just blind? A tear from my eyes falls onto the grass I refuse to let it show; I will be strong I can't wait until Saturday to truly define the link Is it really there, or am I just dreaming it? I really hate you Satan You mess with my dreams God places for me angels and you make me see demons I see through to her beauty but I can't break the illusion God Damn you Satan! Just Leave me alone ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 11:46:29 MDT From: "* armisia *" Subject: ET: When reality kicks you in the face (Or bites I guess) Hey All Wow, I think my life has taken one dramatic turn in the last four days. I got bit by a spider on tues nite...I woke screaming in pain not knowing what the hell was going on. Turned over my pillow (for some strange reason) got up to see what was going on. Saw the bite, went back to bed and lifted up the pillow. There lied a big dead hobo spider. I debated forever what to do (i didnt know it was deadly at first) Decided...with my better judgment...the Er was a wonderful place to be. SO I went, and they told me, with absolutley no reserve...in a half an hour, If I hadn't come I would have been dead. Holy shit. Im nineteen years old and almost died from a dinky lil spider. I am so creeped out and completley broken up. Its an emotional and physical wash for me. *grrr* I have to go to the doctor every other day for the next 6 weeks recieving 6 shots a week. Killer...My nervous sytem like randomly goes out of wak. IM scared. Ive never felty so close to death, ive never been so scared to be alive. This is just destroying me slowley. No good...I just needed to say it. Sorry Kerry*bear the bitten angel ________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #265 **********************************