From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #252 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Sunday, July 2 2000 Volume 03 : Number 252 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: Erida [Nondescript ] ET: My last poem [Nondescript ] ET: looking back at every turn [RJonthego@aol.com] ET: love turned cold [RJonthego@aol.com] RE: ET: a friend, a fellow list member, an EDA, needs our prayers ["marty] ET: change [shell ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sat, 1 Jul 2000 09:00:41 -0400 From: Nondescript Subject: ET: Erida Your teeth are white jagged nails, broken glass. Yet the rest of your being is as glorious as a sunset without clouds. You set upon me like fire- my heart, ashes, ashes. You poke and stir. There is nothing there. And the screams of a mortal man have never been more intimidating. I can only cry for forgiveness for my emptiness. So, the tiger turns fierce upon realizing he is endangered. We are all endangered, species harbored between brutality of our own making. And the spine-snapping perspectives are at war once again, so I bend before I break. Anything for you, mein Liebling. Your eyes are always so sad, like a house on fire, and I am wont to become water. But it is always a circumstantial mistake, and I give too much. The water overflows from behind those beautiful peacock-feather lashes. All I can ever ask-- Please, do not underestimate my concern. I would rather be the one to burn, a witch at the stake for my blasphemy. I let you believe that I was some sort of deity, something worth adoration. I am only a sin, personified. ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 1 Jul 2000 09:03:11 -0400 From: Nondescript Subject: ET: My last poem I kind of forgot to tell you what my last poem, Erida, was about. Woopsy. Erida is the goddess of hatred in Greek myths. By simply crying out her name, men's hearts turn cold and compassionless. Lately, I've been hurting people I never meant to hurt--and I'm feeling like an Erida on a smaller scale. Written from her perspective, if she ever loved a man. - -Annie ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 1 Jul 2000 14:00:48 EDT From: RJonthego@aol.com Subject: ET: looking back at every turn you're not the one to go to for advice you're not the one to go to for a poem of insights, because now all of him overwhelms you and you vaguely recall leaving yourself on the edge of the pit warily shoving yourself away from the whirlwind of pent up emotions &angry childhoods you vaguely recall yourself this way before this took your place You are not forced to look for him & only him above the crowd. ~~ I wish I had seen you cry - once and I could hold that in my hand like bribery like I have the way you sleep (like you are solving puzzles) as a bargain item forever but I don't want to give away the one secret of you that is still mine. You have seen me cry and did not realize that you needed to have held that tight and instead I dripped through your eyelashes and you walked away scared of tears you never shed. ~~~ Even from across the room we breathe together a habit I grew into but haven't put the energy in to growing out if only our thoughts were as synchronized as our breath and maybe we could have matched our steps too. Instead you flinch and my breath grows short throwing us away from the only rythym we have ever known. From across the room I wonder who it is you are breathing for. ~~~ I'd forgotten how many changes can happen in just one 10 minute session of tears. I'd forgotten how many things are different now since that last tear-marathon which provided the excuse you needed I freed you with my chains. I'd forgotten how rapidly I would change in the presence of your varying attentions and when your attention waned I would change again in another tearfall wondering if I hoped you would see. ~~~ Maybe I am making another big mistake watching you wave goodbye one more time. But you are one of those types who look straight forward as if to say 'don't miss me I don't even remember you anymore.' So different from me who looks back at every turn. ~~~ roya ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 1 Jul 2000 14:08:04 EDT From: RJonthego@aol.com Subject: ET: love turned cold He sat so still, with his eyes closed. His hands long and slender in his lap. I walked around him slowly. I imagined that he was a statue, that I could see moss growing on his neck, and that the little wrinkles in the corner of his eyes were hairline cracks. His skin was turning green and cold while I watched. I can't see him breathing anymore. Was it my words that turned him to stone? All I'd wanted was a little companionship, a little...love. But his heart had hardened and his eyes grown cold. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to love you if I had known this would happen. Now I'll never hear you talk to me again, never hear your voice call my name. Never hear you say, "I love you, Medusa..." ~~~ roya ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 2 Jul 2000 01:05:04 +0200 From: "marty" Subject: RE: ET: a friend, a fellow list member, an EDA, needs our prayers hi, thought i'd share this lil translation of the swedish words for the girl wif cancer. thanks kerry&tara for you requesting it. and thanks to mike for letting us know... i don't know the girl, but i do care. - --- hugs, m. + dear good god protect this girl grant her lil dream about being healthy and to live her life just like we live our's. come watch over her with your guardian angel lift her up in your strong arms and if her days were numbered today call her to you, eventually where she'd find rest and eternally get to feel tranquility. + käre gode gud bevara denna flicka besvara hennes dröm om att bli frisk och att få leva ett liv som oss andra. kom vaka över henne med din guardian angel lyft henne upp i dina starka armar och om hennes dagar vore räknade idag kalla henne till till dig där hon kan få ro och evigt känna trygghet. + ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 1 Jul 2000 20:39:01 -0700 (PDT) From: shell Subject: ET: change Dear Angels, Well this is a wonderful feeling. I feel like everybody is trying to change me. Like I'm a dissapointment to everyone and if I'm not, then I'm just short of being great to them. Paul keeps acting like he wishes I wasn't as "out there" as I am. My poetry is also too depressing for him. Serina doesn't like that I am really blunt and honest, my mom just is never satisfied with anything i say. untitled I don't know what to do anymore And now everybody but him is trying to change me I'm not good enough I'm never good enough but they all swear up and down that they're happy They all insult me and then come to me when they have a problem. I'm afraid to be alone. I don't know what to do anymore. I need him. Him isn't enough I need him here, dammit. I need someone here. I just need someone. Too depressed to act happy too damn drained to cry. "I'm sorry, window closed I'm all out of answers to your problems" I don't know what to do anymore. _______________________________________________________ Say Bye to Slow Internet! http://www.home.com/xinbox/signup.html ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #252 **********************************