From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #122 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Monday, April 10 2000 Volume 03 : Number 122 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: The Sundays [RedWoodenBeads@aol.com] ET: most of these i wrote a few days ago..i was just too lazy to type them in :) [RJontheg] ET: flamingos, ducks, thoughts, definition of self and other things (my little ramble) [Katherine Alexandra Subject: ET: flamingos, ducks, thoughts, definition of self and other things (my little ramble) my neighbors have pink flamingos in their yard. i dont know why i'm telling you this. but i think you should know. i hate them. i really do. two pink flamingos. and the duck that they once had. they replaced it with the flamingos. the duck got dressed. they would put on a yellow rain slicker during hurricane warnings. the duck wore a santa hat over the holidays last year. i stole the duck with my best friend before she moved. one would think the duck was made of plastic, but you would be wrong. cement. heavy little bastard. it took two of us, dressed in all black. i had to get rid of that duck. i hated watching it all dressed up, seasonly. it started bothering me too much. i would park my car in my driveway and stare at that little dressed up clump of clay. i am starting to despise those flamingos as much as i did towards the duck. it's funny, the thing that can set you off in a day. dont get me started on the gnomes down the block. i told you about the pink flamingos bc i need to get this out before i steal them. i shouldn't take their flamingos. anyway, they are snowbirds and they will be gone in a week or so. it's getting to hot for them. i hate it here. i was driving and i just past my house. for two reasons: first bc of the flamginos. i was afraid of spitting on them, kicking them, or stealing them and hanging them from my neighbors doorway. second, bc i couldn't walk into my house. i physicaly felt stuck in my car. i needed to drive and think. i smoked. i dont normaly smoke, but i needed to. mind you, i then chewed 3 pieces of gum. i'm tense. i drove around my block listening to some dylan. sometimes i think he is the only person that i can relate to. that gets me all sad bc i will never sit over coffee and talk to him. i just understand the words that he wrote. god, i need out of this town. and i am getting out. but it's the waiting. the waiting to leave. the constant shuffling of papers, the knowing what's around the corner, the having to just hold my breath and wait.... you know how it feels to wait for a phone call from someone? that anxious feeling? i have that towards moving. and i dont know what to say or do. i went out of coffee with a good friend of mine today. a ballerina. the sort of the girl that can spin really fast and jump very high, but is never pleased with it. she's graceful. and smart. she understands physics although she would lie and tell you she didn't. i wasn't really there though. my mind is so far from here. i just want out. so why am i telling you any of this? well i am surprised if you have read this much of my thoughts. i'm just frustrated...i need to get it out, so i am venting it out on the computer. but here's the big thing that has been nawing at me: I AM SICK OF OUR DEFINITION OF SELF! this is frustrating me, bothering me, annoying me. i hate this bloody soul destroying town. and sometimes i get naive and thing once i leave, things will be better. i know that's not true. i think some of the problem comes from out culture. the youth oriented, male dominated culture. mind you, there are some wonderful things about this culture, but the worse, i believe, would be the definition of self. i am at fault of this as much as anyone else. perhaps thats the only way to change things. the economy is doing oh-so-very-well, people in grocery lines can babble about who wore what at the oscars, academy awards, tony's (whatever the hell it was), but we are so very far from each other. i dont know my neighbors names. no clue. i do know that they prefer the ugliest of items in their yard. they could be good people though. i really have no clue. just think about it...as a society, could that be it? our defintion of self somehow got distorted? i have a wonderful boyfriend, brilliant man, who worries about this on a regular basis...it can hurt the brain to think about it too long. go on a long drive. get some dylan. and think. sometimes it's the only thing to do. kat __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? 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