From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #120 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Saturday, April 8 2000 Volume 03 : Number 120 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: RE: question ["Platt, Caroline" ] ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #119 [RedWoodenBeads@aol.com] ET: Re:what is most important to you [RedWoodenBeads@aol.com] ET: some of my important things, summarized in quotes: [shivergirl [Katherine Alexandra ] ET: summer of 89. [Katherine Alexandra ] ET: most important to me [kara garbe ] Re: ET: roya's lovely question [kara garbe ] ET: a new question ["~* cymbaline *~" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Fri, 7 Apr 2000 14:47:50 -0700 From: "Platt, Caroline" Subject: ET: RE: question most important to me. quick answer before i go to do some of this... quality time with loved ones and with myself, love, trust, honesty, intelligence (of many different types), intellectual stimulation (again of many types), music, transcendent experiences, joy. (not in any kind of order). i will probably have to add more later. :) caroline - -----Original Message----- From: genben@usa.net [mailto:genben@usa.net] Sent: April 06, 2000 11:06 AM To: ED Thoughts Subject: ET: question here's a doozy: what is most important to you? i'll wait for a few answers before giving mine... ____________________________________________________________________ Get free email and a permanent address at http://www.netaddress.com/?N=1 ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 7 Apr 2000 17:54:05 EDT From: RedWoodenBeads@aol.com Subject: ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #119 In a message dated 4/7/00 2:40:11 PM Pacific Daylight Time, owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org writes: << > there's another question. do you have to be miserable to write? or do you > write *better* if you're unhappy? do share... >> there have been many times when i write amazing music when i am completely depressed, it's just easier. as stevie nick said: "being devestated leads to writing really great stuff", i agree. but i write fine when i'm ok though. Lately though, i've been very happy with my life, and a lot of times when i get sadenned by someone else's life, i write about them and it comes out great. I just wrote two new songs, and they're both among the best i ever have, one is called "Burn Your Bibles" the other is "Marianne", and they are both about the same person and they came from very intense feelings about an issue. I think people should try writing about things other than themselves, it really broadens your horizons. Joe your mother recognizes all your desperate displays and she watches all her babies drift violently away http://www.chickpages. com/musicmania/joepages ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 7 Apr 2000 17:55:33 EDT From: RedWoodenBeads@aol.com Subject: ET: Re:what is most important to you In a message dated 4/7/00 2:40:11 PM Pacific Daylight Time, owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org writes: << > what is most important to you? >> my family, especially my sister Ellen, my girlfriend Jes and life itself is very precious to me. My closest friends are also very important to me, for it is said that "a faithful friend is a sturdy shelter". Joe your mother recognizes all your desperate displays and she watches all her babies drift violently away http://www.chickpages. com/musicmania/joepages ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 07 Apr 2000 21:21:14 -0400 From: shivergirl Subject: ET: some of my important things, summarized in quotes: > "great groups from little icons grow." (e.t.) "the modem is the message." (communication, in all its fantabulous modern forms and "faces") "the geek shall inherit the earth." > _____ I intend to live forever - so far, so good ________________ > ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 6 Apr 2000 21:42:19 -0700 (PDT) From: Katherine Alexandra Subject: ET: i am angry today. but so are you. i used to run out to my mailbox, every afternoon around 3, waiting for a letter. somewhere along the lines i realized that you were never writing back. funny how long it takes to realize something that is right infront of your face. it's my dirty little secret, i still look at your picture. it tore me apart, broke me into a rage, but i was silant the whole time. i try to understand, but it makes me sick. perhaps if i curl up into someone elses skin i can feel clean again. this pain inside of me, inside of my veins, i wish i knew how to tell you. how it felt to be so down, how it felt to feel everything falling to pieces, with no control. and all i can ever do is wait. i dont want another letter from you, it's not that blue ink that i miss, it's the innocense that i held 4 years ago. now i am breaking all the rules that we made, now i am trying hard to be strong, yet hardly holding my head high. i want to feel comfortable in my own bones again.i want to break free from this mess and walk away from the destruction. i miss the train rides and the walks, but most of all, i miss feeling beautfiul and free. i miss who i was. __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Talk to your friends online with Yahoo! Messenger. http://im.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 6 Apr 2000 21:42:43 -0700 (PDT) From: Katherine Alexandra Subject: ET: imperfection i am imperfection. things have been overwhelming and somehow, from here to there, everything has changed (and then back again). you dont even look at me anymore. i wrote you a letter, 12 pages, told you what was on my mind. you got mad, started screaming, i ran and only to find, that i am imperfection. i fucked up everything again. i sat there at my desk, trying hard to please, trying not to look down at the blood on my knees, when you asked me why why why why why why...why did i allow her into our lives again. she is my sister. you dont listen. i don't listen. she never listenned. pass me the potatos, he says, i do. he smiles. things changed. she not here, i'm not here, we all aren't here. but you do put your hand on my shoulder, to remind me of where i am. where i was...it was beautiful. i was free, alone, foreign. i wasn't around you, or her, or him. pack the bags. he's coming to town. lets all run and pretend that everything is fine. be frantic. hurry. stop reminding me on the phone that i am imperfection. and so are you. quick. forget everythig that i have said. give me that colgate smile. i want to die momma..."what would you like for dinner". but i will be dead for dinner, i wanna say. but you dont hear, you never hear..."lets have chicken". silance. stand up straight. it's ok, it's alright, it's ok...i hear you on the phone, sad worried, afraid...phone bills, and lies, and secrets and bonds that should have never been created. you are no longer mine and i was never yours. hide me under that blanket, under that table. welcome home. __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Talk to your friends online with Yahoo! Messenger. http://im.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 6 Apr 2000 21:42:30 -0700 (PDT) From: Katherine Alexandra Subject: ET: summer of 89. SUMMER OF 89 we were never the same after that summer. bikes with ribbons and baskets. banna seats. two piece swim suits and ice cream. we laughed a lot that summer. 1989. you taught me how to give a hicki, i lied and told you that i could do cartwheels. you told me to do one infront of all my friends. i cried and ran home. we built tents out of sheets and hid at night from things that were bad. we giggled like girls do. i copied everything you did, except without any grace. you would get annoyed, and yet again, i would cry. some time later, i'm missing those grilled cheese sandwiches that you would make me. those late nights that we spent braiding each others hair. how badly we wanted a new dog. after that summer, you grew up, and i got a little younger. we stopped talking once the 90's came. i thought i did something wrong. i asked you to read to me, you told me that i could read myself. you stopped going to my room when i cried, i stopped asking for bike rides. no longer did i try to impress you, you the girl that cut off the long brown hair. you the girl that would slap mother on her face. you the mess of a human. the black sheep of the family. the liar. with your late nights and shaved head. your yelling and hiding. i forgot who you were in 1990. you did too. things got crazier, i stopped caring. i learned to make that grilled cheese on my own. dinners got awkward. at night i would hear you crying. he hurt you. we all got hurt, i wanted to tell you. but you got hurt the most. and things changed after that. now i dont know you, and you dont know me. but we sit together and sometimes laugh. we have grown up. i now no longer have to wear a training bra, but you are still taller. yet again your hair is longer and my laugh is louder. somewhere along the lines, we lost each other. i think it was the summer of 89'. i still dont know how to do cartwheels. __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Talk to your friends online with Yahoo! Messenger. http://im.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 7 Apr 2000 22:08:58 -0400 (Eastern Daylight Time) From: kara garbe Subject: ET: most important to me ~friends, music, people to love, having a place to call home, silence, nature, intellectual stimulation, writing, being challenged, thinking, loving, transcendence, meeting new people, treating people the best that i can, having no regrets~ ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 7 Apr 2000 22:12:49 -0400 (Eastern Daylight Time) From: kara garbe Subject: Re: ET: roya's lovely question about whether we have to be depressed to write... i think the thing is that the best writing tends to come out of deep, intense emotion, whatever that is. and i think, for me at least, that when i'm depressed i have more of a tendency to sit around feeling that feeling, digging into it and then spilling it back out onto paper. i think just as great stuff could come out of happiness, but when you're ecstatically happy, do you really sit around brooding about it? probably not. hm. maybe we should all try to mope around in happiness the same way we tend to mope in depression, and see if we can create some poems in celebration of life rather than in rejection of it... we can all use that sort of thing, both as writers and as readers... and there are a few people especially on this list who i think maybe could use a reminder like that. that life can be beautiful, almost unbearably so. but in a way that makes you want to bear it, forever. my heart goes out to everyone tonight. you people are beautiful. i'm going to go sit outside and write... it's finally warming up enough to do that. ~kara ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 08 Apr 2000 03:16:58 GMT From: "~* cymbaline *~" Subject: ET: a new question Would you like fries with that? - -cym- ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #120 **********************************