From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #118 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Friday, April 7 2000 Volume 03 : Number 118 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: "Rizioule" Write Up in "San Diego Reader" ["Rizioule" ] Re: ET: question ["~* cymbaline *~" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Thu, 6 Apr 2000 00:48:00 -0700 From: "Rizioule" Subject: ET: "Rizioule" Write Up in "San Diego Reader" Do you guys remember the post I made about getting Jewel a Star? And the one after it about what a scam the Hollywood " Walk of Fame" turned out to be? Well I sent the same letter I posted to this list to the San Diego Reader and they wrote a short article about it. They called it " Walk of $hame" "A scorching letter from Rizioule Sound" If you get the Reader check it out. It's on about page 4 in a section by a guy named Matthew. The Music, Writings and Art of Rizioule http://Rizioule.Homestead.com Free Music Downloads, 24 Hours A Day ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 6 Apr 2000 04:08:44 EDT From: RJonthego@aol.com Subject: ET: It's a lot of hurt in the moment and i knew but still i wondered weak, i'm weak i never knew one person could have so many tears and what's it like to be my parents not knowing that their child is hurtingburninghurting in her bedroom with too many memories and what's it like to be *the boy* knowing who you are what you've done (moment of weakness hang on, it'll pass) knowing all these curses are being sent your way - --and trust me boy there are curses-- Would you believe me if i said that i lit the candle accidently? Everyone knows that habit-breaking is the worst Breathe in, breathe out right nowI feel so calm (a moment of strength don't let it go away) It will be a good time for poetry Always before you sounded sorrowful This blow (owww) didn't hit you quite as hard as you hit me it's funny how this always lurks so when worst is at it's worst you always say "I knew it!" Maybe tomorrow i'll hide underneath that black makeup that oh-so-convenient depression that scares even the most sympathetic away. from that second you were a stranger. i don't know you but i know too well of you and where your hands have been. Slow breathing, slow stop breathing, stop What a good suicide note this would make. Too bad i'm too strong i'd like to make you miss me one way or another. i can't help thinking how sorry you'll be and i know i'm biased (ahem) but i can't think of someone who fits better than me. i'm torn between tightening my throat and fighting or loosening and letting it all out. i would not ask those words that everyone wants to know And if there is someone else don't tell me not even a whisper I'm keeping my eyes open for a sign of that gaping emptinessloneliness but now it's pouring in and pouring out yet another reason against procrastination i should not be made to study tonight. everyone who loves me (just a small choke there) please tell him he's a fool. then bury me decently and let the wind cover my grave Did you ever fantasize about two graves together? neither did i. with you it was all about living. Without you it's all about remembering. I will be tonight alone. and tomorrow morning i will wake up with a smile on my face which i will hold (like posing for that blasted memory-shooter) without a wobble for 5 minutes. i will do that twice a day, like excercise, it will make me strong. I could see how I would fill this whole journal tonight with conflicting emotions but they come faster than the ink and tomorrow... ...life goes on. Somehow I think that if I can live through tonight and survive _being_ hurt and not _hurting_ then I will be okay. (accidently) lighting that match was proving how deep I could sink and still swim back. Funny how the most important thing to them was how you hurt me without poetry. You loved me without poetry also. But I never did decide if that's what made me love you back. I remember last semester I was so close to a masterpiece made out of clay. But I let it sit for too long and it dried and crumbled. I felt a pang when I threw it away. Is that what this is? Did we really crack that thoroughly? I still get tears when I think about the masterpiece I lost. this time i will throw away the bracelet you gave me. I kept a tie last time and the way i see it (the only way i can look at it now) it just prolonged the hurt. ouch. there it is. already the empty- gut feeling. The loss of your arms and my wondering when the next pair will hurry up and come along. It's a lot of hurt right now it's a lot of pain. That fire is burning with a tempting flame. You said to stop, no more You said I'd hurt you said to remember the river Instead I think of the bridges I burnt. Did you know she* considered you abusive? I tended to side with my parents about the darling boy the charming boy I was so lucky to have. I hope *she was right because that would give me a little justification "you can do better..." I had this sudden image of myself as a victim, cold and pale. You were the abuser, said the voices in my ear. All I can say is ow. ~~~ roya raw and chaffing ------------------------------ Date: 5 Apr 00 22:36:41 EDT From: genben@usa.net Subject: ET: rest o' the questions okay, so the kissing thing: i am the LAST person who should answer a question on cheating, but, i feel that any time that you betray someone's trust in thought, word, OR deed, you are cheating. basically, a relationship is what you define it as. if part of your agreement with someone is that you aren't going to kiss anyone else, then don't. fave poets: - -hart crane - -shakespeare - -neruda (i guess that's a standard answer these days) - -greg brown (songwriter, poet; what's the difference?) - -herman hesse (not known for his poetry, but wrote the most amazing couplet i have ever read: "and the entire history of my love is you and this evening" i mean, come on people! i'll never write anything like that in a million years) - -sam - -the rest of the EDAT crew (i'm not just saying that to keep you all from being left out, i'm just being honest about my partiality to sam's work) fave authors: - -herman hesse (i mean, there's a reason i ever read his poetry in the first place) - -hunter thompson - -martin amis - -mikhail bakunin - -emma goldman - -howard zinn - -noam chomsky - -mumia abu-jamal (try to find some of his journalistic work from before he was the world's most famous death row prisoner - he's really talented) - -jeez, i don't know, i'll read just about anything okay, so i'm going home now. goodnight all. ben ____________________________________________________________________ Get free email and a permanent address at http://www.netaddress.com/?N=1 ------------------------------ Date: 5 Apr 00 22:22:22 EDT From: genben@usa.net Subject: Re: [ET: upon discovering that goonies was filmed maggie's town] > but the fact that it would often end > up being a conversation between 2 or 3 people that got played out > back and forth and back and forth across the list guilty as charged! i was a culprit, and i served my list suspension. kevin, seth, and i once had it out on the list many moons ago (remember that, guys? the whole perfectin thing?), and i left for a LOOOONG time shortly thereafter. i do agree with kara, that when a few of us dominate the list it begins to get a little silly, but i think we doa good job of avoiding that now. as for my hometown, well... born in DC. raised in alexadria, Va, part of the great northern virginia that kara so wonderfully described as the world capital of self-absorbed individuals, just outside of this great capital of the free world (i've always hated that name for DC) alexandria is a funny place. most of it is overrun with yuppies and their baby stroller and big houses and mercedes and shit like that. there is, however, in my humble little part of town, a wealth of culture amidst the lower middle class and really lower class folk. the areas of town i grew up in were run-down, shoddy and ignored by mostly everyone who didn't live there. but for those of us who did, it was all a different story. sure, we didn't always get our garbage picked up or our potholes filled, but we sure did know how to acknowledge our fellow human beings on the street. we also know how to hold block parties and barbecues and just sort of hang out on the corner ona warm night. maybe we looked a little threatening to the outsider, but we were just having fun with our paper-bag clad beverages and our laughing... my sudden move at 16 to europe came about becuase my mom finally got a break at the company she had worked for 15 years for (she still works there 6 years later, too). we went to the Hague, the Netherlands, which i consider just as much of a home as alexandria. it is the most beautiful city on earth and nothing that ever happened to me there will ever be forgotten. so, to all of you who have two physical places to call home, i say, you have a brother in me. i am the luckiest guy in the world, becuase while some people have no home at all, i have one on either side of the ocean... that's all for now. ben ____________________________________________________________________ Get free email and a permanent address at http://www.netaddress.com/?N=1 ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 6 Apr 2000 17:21:29 EDT From: JewelAng@aol.com Subject: ET: My Name is Probably Not Important I've sent this poem before...but now I need help editing this one. I had comments on how to change it, and that's what I'm looking for now. I want to put my stories and poetry together in a collection, so if you could me, I'd be very happy. :) Thanks! Rebecca My Name is Probably Not Important You sat in your bedroom, Locked in for seven days straight. From where I sat, I could hear you repeating: My flesh is not hell. My flesh is not hell. My flesh is not hell. My flesh is not hell. At that moment my heart went out to you. I might never know your pain, But I knew my pain. I carried my pain around for months, Like a radio attached to my hip. My pain woke me up From a dream of innocence and peace. As I sat there, Thinking of you, Praying for you in my mind, My lips and heart trembled, As I heard from within: My flesh is not hell. My flesh is not hell. My flesh is not hell. My flesh is not hell. From behind that door, That door that kept me from you, I heard music playing. (the plaintive tunes that summon the melancholy.) I know that you played it to mask your chant and the sobs I knew that Were racking your body. I knew I should come in and help you, But you kept your door locked, Just as you did with your heart. I never knew that you went to the extremes of substance To heal your pain. I could have healed your pain, Instead of the narcotics. If you had let me get near your heart. My flesh is not hell. My flesh is not hell. My flesh is not hell. My flesh is not hell. - -------------------------------- http://nettrash.com/users/majesticramblings .majestic.ramblings. http://www.envy.nu/souls Common hearts with common dreams http://www.angelfire.com/yt/horns My horns keep up my halo Webring - ----------------------------------- "There is all this love but nowhere for it to grow each second continually devours the next and we're moving too fast for it to fasten its roots to the wind" ~*Jewel*~ ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 6 Apr 2000 17:45:51 EDT From: JewelAng@aol.com Subject: ET: Ophelia Spins Hello, I just finished up my new website last night. It is called Ophelia Spins. It is just artwork. I made it because I felt my site "Majestic Ramblings" was getting kinda junky. This is just art (writing, and photography). If in the past you have submitted poems to me to use on my webpages, you will find your poem on the "Your's" section. If you do not wish to have your poetry up there email me. And don't worry, you are given the credit for it. Ophelia Spins http://www.envy.nu/ophelia Rebecca - -------------------------------- http://nettrash.com/users/majesticramblings .majestic.ramblings. http://www.envy.nu/souls Common hearts with common dreams http://www.angelfire.com/yt/horns My horns keep up my halo Webring - ----------------------------------- "There is all this love but nowhere for it to grow each second continually devours the next and we're moving too fast for it to fasten its roots to the wind" ~*Jewel*~ ------------------------------ Date: 6 Apr 00 11:06:16 EDT From: genben@usa.net Subject: ET: question here's a doozy: what is most important to you? i'll wait for a few answers before giving mine... ____________________________________________________________________ Get free email and a permanent address at http://www.netaddress.com/?N=1 ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 6 Apr 2000 20:42:48 -0400 (EDT) From: courtney gordon Subject: ET: ohmigod Dear Everyone, Holy balls of clay. That concert kicked ass. Okay, the song Wash Away Those Years has a personal meaning to me, because it's about child molestation, and so when Creed played that I cried like no tomorrow, though I swore I wouldn't do that. And so I'm crying my eyes out and Scott Stapp is walking around singing and he walks over to the side of the stage I'm by and is glancing over the audience, and we made eye contact, which is enough to give me a heart attack as it is, and then he mouths the words "don't cry" and points at me. At which point I just start crying more. I got a pic w/ the singer of 7dust, cuz for some reason or another he was walking around in the audience when Creed was performing, and for the sake of getting a pic with him, I missed a great deal of good pic oppurtunities when Scott was on my side of the stage and I just barely caught a rather interesting butt shot when Scott was pretty much squatting on the stage. I'm going to be off now, I've got things to see and people to do... er...wait... the other way around... i think. :) love yall Court ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 07 Apr 2000 00:51:42 GMT From: "~* cymbaline *~" Subject: Re: ET: question What is most important? Just one thing? because I can name a few. God. My Family. and last but not least... My Arms. If I lost one or both my arms, I'd surely die!! I need them to play guitar, and without my guitars, and my songwriting... I am nothing! (nothing but dramatic, lol) Kelly ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #118 **********************************