From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #111 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Monday, April 3 2000 Volume 03 : Number 111 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: perhaps a bit too true [Katherine Alexandra ] ET: Just something important ["* windex *" ] ET: my list [courtney gordon ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 2 Apr 2000 15:05:17 -0700 (PDT) From: Katherine Alexandra Subject: ET: perhaps a bit too true PERHAPS A DIARY ENTRY he's asking for too much from me. i'm not that strong and i am also part of this mess. although i prefer to call them my family. he thinks that somehow, i can just walk away from all of them, and start off new. but i can't. he doesn't understand the nights when jennifer would run into my bedroom and lock the door. she would tell me that i was scared, although i wasn't. and i took care of her, 6 years older then i. he doesn't understand when we would play for hours, creating another world (yet still with taxes and divorce), he can't comprehend how it felt when she didn't walk in my room anymore, when she stopped smiling and she changed. i can't turn back on her though. he doesn't know the nights that i spent with elisabeth braiding my hair, or reading to me. how i ignored the white powder substance that she snorted, and instead, i helped her hide in the closet. he can't grasp why now, 9 years later, i am trying to understand her again. why i avoid hendryk, how he hurt all of us. why michael and i yell instead of talk. he gets mad at my parents, for allowing this. he doesn't consider us a family, bc one ran away, the other was kicked out, and the rest of us have stayed in a lie. he doesn't know the secret that we created together under the bed sheets, he doesn't know about the tents that we made, how we thought it was okay, and how it felt good. i can tell that he dissapointed in me, for not saving my nephew, for not getting him out of the situation. but i can't. he doesn't know what it means to me, how zakky is really how i used to be. and how my hands aren't strong enough, my voice isn't loud enough and yes, sometimes we do pretend that the bad never happened. he doesn't understand how we look at reality in the face and deny it. but they are my family. we have backyard bbq's, we get excited over christmas, we celebrate each other's birthdays, i can't turn on them. HOW I ONCE WAS she had these big brown eyes, with a trace in green. the people that loved her would say they were green those that didn't know how would swear that they were brown. she would say blue. she wanted them to be blue. she used to play in the pool with her half brother, while her mother watched from her bedroom, with the curtains a little open. she was told not to laugh with him, but he was too funny. she would ignore what they said. she used to play games with her sisters to pass the time away. and sometimes she would just run to her room and spend the time alone. she never thought that she would end up here, looking at them, shivering and stunned. she never thought she would be trying to save the girl that rescued her from the pool when she couldn't swim. or that she would be lying for the brother that taught her the rules of being a boy scout bc she couldn't be one herself. sometimes she comes back to me, she whispers out my name. she calls me by trina, she prefers me with blond hair, she gets mad when i cover the freckles. she misses crawling into bed with the light on, fears that i have fallen into the arms of too many men, and tells me to remember that i once was her. but in the silance of the night and when everyone is in bed, i hate her. when i kiss him goodnight i see her eyes wide, i can feel her near and i just want her to go. __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Talk to your friends online with Yahoo! Messenger. http://im.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 2 Apr 2000 18:41:57 -0400 (Eastern Daylight Time) From: kara garbe Subject: ET: lines 3.30.00 These things don't get any easier over time. But skin stretches as it grows, lightening once-livid scars so that next time chisel is put to flesh, the pain is no less, merely the memory of the pain has been forgotten so that it takes one over with ease, with surprise at just how deeply flesh can go before it hits bone. ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 02 Apr 2000 18:44:52 MDT From: "* windex *" Subject: ET: Just something important Okay Im not look to offend anyone...I got the first part in an email and this is what I thought. I know you guys are openm to everything so I would love to hear your thoughts. I got this in my e-mail...I guess it upset me...you'll find what I thought at the bottom...take it easy, Kerry ~~~~ Let's see, I think it started when Madeline Murray O'Hare complained she didn't want any prayer in our schools, and we said OK.. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school, the Bible that says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor yourself. And we said, OK.. ~~~~~~ Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem. And we said, an expert should know what he's talking about so we won't spank them anymore.. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Then someone said teachers and principals better not discipline our children when they misbehave. And the school administrators said no faculty member in this school better touch a student when they misbehave because we don't want any bad publicity, and we surely don't want to be sued. And we accepted their reasoning.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Then someone said, let's let our daughters have abortions if they want, and they won't even have to tell their parents. And we said, that's a grand idea.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Then some wise school board member said, since boys will be boys and they're going to do it anyway, let's give our sons all the condoms they want, so they can have all the fun they desire, and we won't have to tell their parents they got them at school. And we said, that's another great idea.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Then some of our top elected officials said it doesn't matter what we do in private as long as we do our jobs. And agreeing with them, we said it doesn't matter to me what anyone, including the President, does in private as long as I have a job and the economy is good.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And then someone said let's print magazines with pictures of nude women and call it wholesome down-to-earth appreciation for the beauty of the female body. And we said we have no problem with that.. And someone else took that appreciation a step further and published pictures of nude children and then stepped further still by making them available on the internet. And we said they're entitled to their free speech.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And the entertainment industry said, let's make TV shows and movies that promote profanity, violence, and illicit sex. And let's record music that encourages rape, drugs, murder, suicide, and satanic themes.. And we said it's just entertainment, it has no adverse effect, and nobody takes it seriously anyway, so go right ahead.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Therefore, now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~***~**Just my response...I'd love to hear your arguments...agreements, whatever...KERRY E.~**~** Melodramatic has never taken on such a meaning to me until I read this. All our lives we are forced into something we don't know is true until we grow and reach that level on our own. We bow down to the teachings of others because somewhere in their hearts they feel it is right and true. When are people going to accept the fact that just because it is right and true to you doesn't make it right and true to the rest of the living world. Parents are bowing down and leaving priests, bishops and other members of religions to teach their children right and wrong when parents are the ones that should be doing this. We have left this alone for to long and the results have become a bunch of people that are trying to runs or thoughts and our minds. Who are we to say that a child should have to listen to prayer in school. Who's right has it become to decide who has to hear what. Isn't it our freedom to not have to say a word to God if we so chose? I will say the Bible is one of the greatest, if not the greatest books of all time but who are we to decide who should read it or not. Where do we draw the line with church and state? Have people become so over-bearing that we are taking all freedoms of religion and choice from the world. You have every right to say a prayer in silence wherever you feel the need just as another person has the right to not hear one. Would you want another person besides yourself taking your child's well-being into their own hands? Other people should have no right to hit your children just as the children should have the right not to be hit. What is the problem with our kids not getting touched in schools? Think about how you would feel if your child came home in pain because of another person besides yourself? Is that really unfair? And if it is, to who? You or your child. Why are we so afraid to give our children condoms and birth control. Are we not teaching them responsibility for their own actions. At least you know they are taking a very serious matter like they should and not going off and spreading diseases and creating more children. If people would educate their children on this subject perhaps the school would not have to for them. What are you so scared of, why is it your children cannot partake in the act of sex? What is going to happen, since the school are giving them condoms they aren't going to get pregnant. Be proud of responsibility and the act of love, not scared of it. Why should it matter what the president and elected officials are doing behind closed doors? What business of ours is it who they love and what they do. We did not elect them to find out who the are sleeping with we elected them to run our country. And if that is done, why does it matter. It is not your choice who they love, and what they do. IT DOES NOT AFFECT YOU! Stop being so scared of everything you can't control. If the country was out of control and everyone was homeless I could see the point in this...but it's fine, just because everyone doesn't live up to the same standards you believe in does not make this wrong. When a husband looks at his wife does he see dirtiness and something ugly. Is the only reason a man takes a woman into his arms pure sexual greed and lust? How is it that a man can't look at a woman for the sheer beauty of her body and mind? We say that a painting of a naked woman is wrong. What is so wrong with it? What is so terrible about the female body that you cannot appreciate it for what it is. No one has bowed down and said child pornography is fine...where do you people get these things? People of both religious and non-denominational backgrounds have fought this for many years. No one has ever called this freedom of speech but it is in no way associated with a picture of a naked woman. Just because some people in this world take it that way does not make it so. Every night I sit down to watch the news, everything I see on there has become an exploitation of violence, drugs and sex. I was more offended by the insensitive coverage of the columbine high school incident, the Ramsey child murder case, and every other crime to come about. We exploit crimes with such ease and wonder why our kids know all the right things to do. Maybe you are looking at the wrong problems, maybe we need to look at ourselves to understand where our children our going wrong. We spend so much time blaming other people that it is inconceivable that it could be the people in their lives. Maybe if we would listen to our children problems instead of telling them they are wrong, maybe if we take the time to understand what is happening instead of making haste judgments. Life has become an argument over who is to blame and the solutions is always everyone but ourselves. When a child grows up in a family they are leaning from them how to grow. If you do not talk with your children how are they going to know what you want from them. If you do not give them options, how are they going to know they are there? Instead of hiding from your children open up to them and realize they are just children. If they are having sex talk to them, don't shun them. You are creating a world of silence and a house of blind happiness. Maybe next time you should think about the things you are saying before you judge someone. Judge not lest ye be judged yourself. What have you done wrong? What are you doing that you shouldn't? The church leaders said kiss the ground we walk on and we did it. They said come to church every day and do all these things but remember your family. So we put all our time into churches and then realized we didn't know our kids and they didn't know about life. So we blamed it on t.v. and music. They said don't drink or smoke so we didn't. They said respect other people around you, so we got angry when they drank and smoked. We decided everyone else was wrong because they didn't believe what we do. They said gays are morally wrong so we hate gays. But, didn't they say love thy neighbor as thyself? They said God loves all equally. But, only the ones like us will be with their families forever. They said do unto others as you would have them do unto you. So we judge them and tell them all they are doing wrong in their lives because it's not what we are doing. We hide from what we don't know because that's what they say to do. When you look at the problem you need to realize. One day you aren't going to answer to your bishop your going to answer to yourself and God. You need to be happy with yourself and love yourself. Not a church. Put family first don't just say you are. I know when it comes down to the last day, it will be my love for God that saves me not my love for a church. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 2 Apr 2000 21:47:41 -0500 (EDT) From: courtney gordon Subject: ET: my list Dear Angels, I've created a list under ONElist.com and I'd appreciate it if anybody interested would join. It's for poetry, advice, creative ramblings and such... http://www.onelist.com/group/mindspin thanks yall Courtney the 311 angel that's hellbent on marrying into a polygamous relationship with Paul Vollweiler, 311's S.A. Martinez, and 311's Nick Hexum. ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #111 **********************************