From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #105 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Tuesday, March 28 2000 Volume 03 : Number 105 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: hidden [Katherine Alexandra ] ET: hidden [Katherine Alexandra ] ET: a long ramble [Katherine Alexandra ] ET: My trip to Purdue(poem) ["Seth D. Fulmer" ] ET: The finest kind of love(poem) ["Seth D. Fulmer" ] ET: Delirium Indianium ["Seth D. Fulmer" ] ET: The Fable of the Nightingale(poem) ["Seth D. Fulmer" Subject: ET: hidden Jackies Strength i sit here staring at my hands. what has happened to me? i want to create mountains from anthills and i keep thinking that somehow...i will be able to contain jackie's strength. i'm about to jump into the pit of sharks, in hopes that i will be able to gracefully swim out. i want to see if what they say is true (that i am strong, that i am smart, that i am brilliant) but somehow i am starting to believe it's just southern charm and the say these kinds words to every girl that has big brown eyes and wants a little more. i'm leaving in a month. we try not to think of it that way in this house. cross country is far they all say. there are mountains that pierce the sky in that part of the world. the fishing isnt as good. there are no red ants or coconut races. yet i keep saying that i belong on the west coast, i keep laughing so proudly, i keep packing my boxes and promising absolutes. if only i too had jackie's strength, then maybe i wouldnt be so scared. then maybe i wouldn't be so worried about never having coffee in the morning from dad, and maybe i wouldn't be so nervous about not shining in the gray skies of oregon. if only i had jackies strength. *i wrote that after listening to (you got it, jackies strength from tori amos). i'm moving to oregon from florida :) SHE ONCE WAS MY SISTER. i no longer know where i stand (sometimes i'm not even sure if you understand me anymore) and i have stood here for the past 19 years *going on 20* waiting for some sign (a pat on the back?) of how i have been. and i miss you. *god do i ever miss you* now i see you...your a fucking mess you have turned into nothing a choatic spec of dirt (and i hate you for this) for everything you are (those exaggerated hand movements, the darting eyes) is simply a piece of me. god, how i do miss her. and perhaps i am overreacting perhaps there are those moments when you are the same shy tall girl that used to yell at me if i didn't play with you right after school perhaps things haven't changed at all. maybe underneath the mania there is a little bit of jennifer left in you (and me). (ALONE IN PRAGUE...A TRIBUTE TO FEELING BAD FOR YOURSELF) i said it is just a small problem. you laughed. you reminded me of those pills last night. and how i wanted to kill myself. you told me that problem wasn't small. but it is. i remember prague. i sat there on the road watching those czech couples in love, holding each other up with their hands. trying to find an identity from communisim. yes. i remember being alone in prague. i remember crying to myself in an unfamiliar bed. if you can call it a bed. more like a board with a sheet on it. but i considered it a bed. and i was alone in prague. feeling horrible for myself. they like their coffee too strong over there and over here they only drink fancey flavored coffee's. you tell me that i belong anywhere but here *and there* and i know...i belong nowhere. i felt horrible for myself in prague, yet somehow, i was happier there. (please, stop. kiss me). ok it's me KAT! (imperfect angel) and i am back *s* if anyone remmebers me (email me!) i kinda got a bit distracted *sorry* with well..life. working hard, moving, i just got back from backpacking through europe (AMAZING EXPERIANCE) life is well...growing and changing and molding into what it wants to mold into. email me you crazy angels. i've missed ya kat __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Talk to your friends online with Yahoo! Messenger. http://im.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 27 Mar 2000 23:11:54 -0800 (PST) From: Katherine Alexandra Subject: ET: hidden Jackies Strength i sit here staring at my hands. what has happened to me? i want to create mountains from anthills and i keep thinking that somehow...i will be able to contain jackie's strength. i'm about to jump into the pit of sharks, in hopes that i will be able to gracefully swim out. i want to see if what they say is true (that i am strong, that i am smart, that i am brilliant) but somehow i am starting to believe it's just southern charm and the say these kinds words to every girl that has big brown eyes and wants a little more. i'm leaving in a month. we try not to think of it that way in this house. cross country is far they all say. there are mountains that pierce the sky in that part of the world. the fishing isnt as good. there are no red ants or coconut races. yet i keep saying that i belong on the west coast, i keep laughing so proudly, i keep packing my boxes and promising absolutes. if only i too had jackie's strength, then maybe i wouldnt be so scared. then maybe i wouldn't be so worried about never having coffee in the morning from dad, and maybe i wouldn't be so nervous about not shining in the gray skies of oregon. if only i had jackies strength. *i wrote that after listening to (you got it, jackies strength from tori amos). i'm moving to oregon from florida :) SHE ONCE WAS MY SISTER. i no longer know where i stand (sometimes i'm not even sure if you understand me anymore) and i have stood here for the past 19 years *going on 20* waiting for some sign (a pat on the back?) of how i have been. and i miss you. *god do i ever miss you* now i see you...your a fucking mess you have turned into nothing a choatic spec of dirt (and i hate you for this) for everything you are (those exaggerated hand movements, the darting eyes) is simply a piece of me. god, how i do miss her. and perhaps i am overreacting perhaps there are those moments when you are the same shy tall girl that used to yell at me if i didn't play with you right after school perhaps things haven't changed at all. maybe underneath the mania there is a little bit of jennifer left in you (and me). (ALONE IN PRAGUE...A TRIBUTE TO FEELING BAD FOR YOURSELF) i said it is just a small problem. you laughed. you reminded me of those pills last night. and how i wanted to kill myself. you told me that problem wasn't small. but it is. i remember prague. i sat there on the road watching those czech couples in love, holding each other up with their hands. trying to find an identity from communisim. yes. i remember being alone in prague. i remember crying to myself in an unfamiliar bed. if you can call it a bed. more like a board with a sheet on it. but i considered it a bed. and i was alone in prague. feeling horrible for myself. they like their coffee too strong over there and over here they only drink fancey flavored coffee's. you tell me that i belong anywhere but here *and there* and i know...i belong nowhere. i felt horrible for myself in prague, yet somehow, i was happier there. (please, stop. kiss me). ok it's me KAT! (imperfect angel) and i am back *s* if anyone remmebers me (email me!) i kinda got a bit distracted *sorry* with well..life. working hard, moving, i just got back from backpacking through europe (AMAZING EXPERIANCE) life is well...growing and changing and molding into what it wants to mold into. email me you crazy angels. i've missed ya kat __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Talk to your friends online with Yahoo! Messenger. http://im.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 27 Mar 2000 23:43:36 -0800 (PST) From: Katherine Alexandra Subject: ET: a long ramble THIS IS HOW I FEEL (AS CINDERELLA) i thought i was cinderella, all dressed up for the ball (and no one to go with) and i felt like you were something special and the time starting going by so fast where the hell am i going that's what i thought in the stream of events which led me here from there if only you knew where it is that i came from and you are merely a stranger on the phone who says kind words, you are convinced through my crying and vomitting, that you know me ALTHOUGH WE HAVE NEVER MET and i am convinced that i know you, my prince charming yet you dont' know about the way my nose wrinkles or how i skipped shaving for 2 months just to see how long the hair would grow you dont know my wicked ways, bc why would i tell a beautiful stranger that i have fanatisies of poisoning the tea of those that love me simply bc that is me you think i am brilliant but you will see some day soon that i am nothing except a little girl wanting to be cinderella typing on the computer a bit too late at night. (where did the glass slipper go?) THOUGHTS IN THE LATE HOURS OF NIGHT (about him) he tried to help me last night poor soul. he tried harder then usual. i can tell that he is getting tierd and weary of my ways i feel as though a manipulate him with the stories of how fucked up things are but he doesnt know of my pain and i am tierd and weary of my bones being so weak whatever happend to me? the 16 year old girl that could fall in love so easily. the 16 year old child that grabbed onto that flaming red haired mans pants, begging him to say the girl with no pride, or perhaps too much for now i am turning 20, and there is nothing left except the trace of my idealism and i gave it away with each man i kissed and i allowed cynisim to enter me with each arguement i won (unfairly, pouting lips, bitter lies) so here i am, let me tell you girls, you girls that drink all that coffee and never take notice that you are getting old. here i am, talking about marriage and college loans here i am, moving cross country, kissing mom & dad good bye here i am, on the phone with a man who knows all my lies, and who knows that i am no longer the 16 year old girl, no matter how hard i try. __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Talk to your friends online with Yahoo! Messenger. http://im.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2000 09:48:27 -0500 From: "Seth D. Fulmer" Subject: ET: My trip to Purdue(poem) Hey everyone!! How are you doing this fine Tuesday?? I went to a fraternity conference(section 52 for you APO people) in Indiana from Thursday until Sunday. For those of you who don't know I'm in a National coed community service fraternity called Alpha Phi Omega(a.k.a...APO). The conference started Friday but I went Thursday because someone asked me and I thought I might spend some time with that person...Unfortunately even until the point I left they said 1 word to me "Solitaire" and that was because I asked the person what game they were playing and they ignored me with everything else I said to them....But this is my trip I wrote about so far...like 12 hours into my arrival. We(me and the guy I was staying with) went to the Purdue/Gonzaga game Thursday and the next day I met quite a few members of their chapter). Anyhow, this is it..if you really care and have questions, comments, etc. let me know. Also if you don't want my poems, let me know too. Take cares and Have a Great Day!! :o) -Seth ======================================== My trip to Purdue by Seth D. Fulmer 3-24-00 I'm in an office far from home with my fraternity but nothing's started I came on a trek via a jet airplane The person I came to visit here has yet to say a freaking peep She hasn't said "Hi" or "Why are you here?" I've been asked that so much, it's making me tired I started off saying the girl's name and sigh But later I reply, "Don't ask or I'll die" Perhaps I should mature and talk to her myself But that wouldn't be me; I don't start conversations I think I might have fun; I'll do roll call alone And then to top it all off, I might win man mile award. Their office is so huge, and they've got so many people Many more girls than guys; so many lovely angels Awards up the wazoo, a calendar, many paddles Last night they were decorating I wish we could do something like that I talk to so many people who like to talk to me It's so intoxicating that I could really go pee I love it so much when people aren't bored about me with my many stories or if my voice is too loud Here they don't say "soda"; Instead they will say "pop" It sometimes gets annoying, but she's too cute to care about. I really don't want to go home until Sunday of next week. ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2000 09:55:33 -0500 From: "Seth D. Fulmer" Subject: ET: The finest kind of love(poem) Hey, another poem..I was poetically active over my trip..hehe partly because my friend Debra made me promise to send back lots of poems lol :) (you didn't think I'd let you get away without mentioning it did you?) Anyhow, this is about this girl Jen at Purdue who is HOT and she says "Wusup"(like the Budweiser comercial with all the superheroes) all the time. Now I do it lol :) Anyhow, Here's the 2nd of many poems :) Comments and all that jazz are welcome. If you don't want the poems, let me know and I won't send them. Take cares and Have a fantastic day again :) -Seth ==================================== The finest kind of love by Seth D. Fulmer 3-24-00 My Lord, an angel, a goddess, a child She says "Wusup" all the time She has a cute face and a black hairtie She may be a pledge, but is so very nice I looked up a short while ago and had a flutter of wings a halo and hair smoother than silk This girl's name was Jennifer May I never love again It may be lust but so right Till the very end of time I don't want to deny myself the experience of the finest kind of love alive ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2000 10:02:12 -0500 From: "Seth D. Fulmer" Subject: ET: Revenge Song(poem) Hi! :) I wrote this sorta in anger because I was in the same room as her at the time when she was playing Solitaire and she had left but she came back and both times she didn't say anything, and I wrote this as a sort of stab at her that she couldn't see that I was "cursing"(not like curse words but as people in ancient times cursed people by writing bad stuff about them) her right in front of her eyes. Anyhow, here's the poem/song(it goes to the tune of "I love myself..I think I'm grand...etc." that you may or may not have sung as a child. My mom taught me it). Take cares :):) -Seth ==================================== Revenge Song by Seth D. Fulmer 3-24-00 I love myself; Just Go Away! I met another girl more beautiful She's much nicer with bangs so long When I kiss her, I find strands of hair in my mouth She's promised that she'd forever love me forever and ever and then a century She told me that you are such a bitch and you know what, girl? You are one too! I sort of want to take you now but it is just physical, nothing personal I kiss that other girl all over and then I show you the pictures just to get you down. ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2000 10:20:22 -0500 From: "Seth D. Fulmer" Subject: ET: Delirium Indianium Hey again lol :) This one I wrote Saturday when I was sitting around bored because things were occuring that I didn't have business attending(because I wasn't from the area) so I stayed around and just read and wrote poetry(well just 1 on Saturday). So here it is hehe :) Sorry about all these poems at once...I wanted to send them before I forgot or got busy :):) Take cares :o) -Seth ============================ Delirium Indianium by Seth D. Fulmer 3-25-00 I'm bored and tired I wish I were drunk I want to go home to Philadelphia I could quite easily go and get changed get a fresh shower but no, he's a dork Tonight perhaps I will have fun Two girls thus far have showed they like me A girl asked me twice to practice ballroom dancing Another today said my name and "how are you?" I really still don't know why I came this far I'm beginning to think Spring Break trips are a bad thing Two flights in a row to a far off place to visit a girl from the internet But even if I went for a reason more sane It still would be a stupid reason to come ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2000 10:26:14 -0500 From: "Seth D. Fulmer" Subject: ET: The Fable of the Nightingale(poem) Hey there again...2nd last poem :) This is actually the last one I wrote on my trip...I wrote this on the plane ride home thinking about my "friend" ignoring me. This is supposed to have a moral but as to what it is...that's a bit messed up. I think that might be because of my messed up mind but if you figure it out, Kudos to you! Comments, Questions, and all that jazz are welcome :) If you don't want poems, let me know. Take cares and Have a Great Day! :o) -Seth ======================================== The Fable of the Nightingale by Seth D. Fulmer 3-26-00 A Nightingale sings a song of love, of enemies sworn to kill each other; Both are lovers, but of different people They love themselves too much to see equal Love and Hate find heaven in bed They give birth to twins called Lust and Passion A little while later they sire a third Compassion was his name; he was a retard Lust and Passion kicked his white ass For seven days straight he couldn't sit down He kept telling himself, "They're just poor fools I'm really not weak; I'm just not cool" The enemies met one day Lust and said Isn't she a fine woman; Don't you want her in bed? He was talking about one of Lust's good friends Someone he'd have died for, defended if was asked. Lust said to Passion, "Come with me and get laid" Passion said to Lust, "Alright, where's the booty?" On their way over there, Compassion kicked their ass "Leave the girl alone; she's your friend, not a whore!" He didn't hurt them quite as much as they had done to him He let them have their pride as well as 2 of their front teeth Love and Hate, his parents went to him and said "Son, you always were a wimp but you're cooler than the both of them." ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #105 **********************************