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Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #91
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eda-thoughts-digest     Wednesday, March 15 2000     Volume 03 : Number 091




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                               Today's Subjects:
                               -----------------
  ET: fragments                            [kara garbe <lakini@virginia.edu>]
  ET: confused and sad...not sure what else or why       [BRONCOBAND@aol.com]

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2000 18:15:41 -0500 (Eastern Standard Time)
From: kara garbe <lakini@virginia.edu>
Subject: ET: fragments

We talk about finding ourselves
as though life could be made complete
by taking a walk through the woods
and picking up a pinecone.

We say that we're searching for something, 
but none of us knows what that is 
so how are we supposed to recognize it 
when it gets here? 
If it gets here. 

We talk about finding ourselves 
as though we could walk down the street 
and pick up that pinky finger 
that somewhere along the way 
got disconnected from our hand, 
or maybe it was never connected 
to begin with. 

I'm going to put on my sunglasses 
and lie down for a while. 
Let me know if you stumble across anything 
in the dark. 

*~*~*

I talked to God once, 
sitting on a park bench at night 
outside the public library. 

It's been too long now. 

*~*~*

I can't even imagine that 
I used to do that too, 
the long distance thing.

Nothing is ever enough.
 
*~*~*

She said that when it happened, 
her mind was removed 
as though she was hanging from the ceiling, 
hovering like an angel 
disembodied from her own body 
being ravished in her own bed. 
She said that when it happened, 
there were no words for it. 
And there still are none. 

*~*~*

I've felt that before, that feeling 
of being somewhere else 
because your life is just too damned crazy 
to be your own,
too damned painful 
to be claimed 
like the six year old who says 
no, he didn't take the last cookie 
no, dammit.
I didn't take it. 

*~*~*

Yes, I guess it is strange.

Is this beautiful, or is this
delusional?

I regret nothing
either way.
Let me live off of you 
for at least a little while 
and if I can humanize you in the process, 
I suppose that's 
something.

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2000 18:32:25 EST
From: BRONCOBAND@aol.com
Subject: ET: confused and sad...not sure what else or why

More venting...I've just got to figure out what my emotions are doing right 
now...


No...
no more tranquility to feast upon
confidence is shatered
confusion remains
this empty forest
inside my soul
keeps expanding
and the brushfires 
of my anger
are blazing out of control
but no one sees it
my nature is being destroyed 
smoke is blinding
and FLAMES burn

------------------------------

End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #91
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