From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #86 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Friday, March 10 2000 Volume 03 : Number 086 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: blood smoke and tears [The Phoenix Princessa ] ET: dolphins cry [The Phoenix Princessa ] ET: ok [The Phoenix Princessa ] ET: and... [genben@usa.net] Re: [ET: Re: ~a candle burning in every room~] [genben@usa.net] ET: *~Expert from a New Story~* [JewelAng@aol.com] ET: River runs dry (poem i just wrote) ["~* cymbaline *~" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Fri, 10 Mar 2000 00:21:34 -0800 From: The Phoenix Princessa Subject: ET: blood smoke and tears blood and smoke and tears erased all my fears and now you lie with me tonight and i can feel your heartbeat pulsing through your skin onto me. your breath warms my breasts your fingers crawl onto my hair and run smoothly down my face and you reach up to kiss closed my eyelids. - ---and you say, you have to talk to someone, because you are going to hurt if you don't.--- and i say, i will hurt anyway. my tears blend with your cum, your body was meant to be on mine, and i succumb to you, you consume me, each touch tingling like electric butterfly kisses. you melt into me, you become me, and that anything else matters hazes away in the night that is indistinct from day - -- samara - -- "I must be flowing liquid diamonds calling for my soul at the corners of the world" -tori amos ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 10 Mar 2000 00:32:10 -0800 From: The Phoenix Princessa Subject: ET: more maybe love makes everything else less vibrant nothing else matters much because they all talk about how sad it is and all i see in you is heat and warmth and eternity ___ red roses red roses made from the blood of a hopeless someone in some ancient tale who long ago tripped to the ground and fell unto a bed of thorns and pain was transformed to beauty ___ speaking to me and telling me it will be alright cradling me in your arms, rocking me back and forth your hands holding tightly my head to your chest, i can feel you shake with sobs and your strong arms tremble and your soft hands caress and i can hear you crying. i kiss you i kiss you i kiss you again, here you are telling me it will be alright, here i am knowing you cannot always be the one who is strong. telling you we will be for ever because it's what we have to believe, because we believe we make a reality of our dreams, that all dreams are made of is reality waiting to happen. your heart racing my mind on speed you're all i need and the rain is streaming down the windows, my tears are making you soggy and your tears are soaking my head and i kiss you i kiss you you kiss me again, sweat and rain and tears and i kiss you and tell you it is alright ___ - -- "I must be flowing liquid diamonds calling for my soul at the corners of the world" -tori amos ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 10 Mar 2000 01:08:42 -0800 From: The Phoenix Princessa Subject: ET: dolphins cry and i am going to be alone again and not know what to do with myself if i should try and bleed my skin to let some aching out each second i watch ticking by another moment of my life i have nowhere to go and nothing to do and all i want all i need is you i feel empty and go into a panic at silence but the sounds make pain rush through my arms, make tears roll down my face, make me hurt all too easily. but i blast every song because all of my insides sway along with them and fill me with you. when they are gone the lack is all too sharp and my heart races my mind spins and i start to shake and shake and shake. i have to feel as if someone else is here with me, as if you are here, every single room, the bed, the books, cds, are all about you and all i can think of is that i must spend my life with you. without you i know that i am bleeding inside i cannot see it but the ultimate sadness is washing over me - -- i know i'll make it, love can last forever graceful swans of never topple to the earth and you can make it last, forever you you can make it last, forever you - -smashing pumpkins ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 10 Mar 2000 01:11:14 -0800 From: The Phoenix Princessa Subject: ET: ok distracting my mind with songs and words knowing that who i want to hear is you and i am just trying to avoid the fact that it is not you you are not here i cannot stand not knowing how and where you are at every moment, gripping you and pulling you to me, stripping for you and kissing you down, and knowing you'll be holding on to me for always. i hide my face in my own arms, and think oh oh my oh my god alone and even a hopeful wave of guitar doesn't help ohmygodandyouplayed yoursongsforme ineed you i need you i need you - -- i know i'll make it, love can last forever graceful swans of never topple to the earth and you can make it last, forever you you can make it last, forever you - -smashing pumpkins ------------------------------ Date: 10 Mar 00 12:30:02 EST From: genben@usa.net Subject: ET: and... pleading hoping begging bring me words end this pain let me SAY IT i spend so much time hiding that i can't come out when i want to and there's no one around when i need them + feel this empathy say 'i can relate' sympathy but don't love me don't + ____________________________________________________________________ Get free email and a permanent address at http://www.netaddress.com/?N=1 ------------------------------ Date: 10 Mar 00 11:32:40 EST From: genben@usa.net Subject: Re: [ET: Re: ~a candle burning in every room~] > "Mule Variations", Tom Waits -- easily one of the gruffest singing > voices I've ever heard (maybe second only to Diamanda Galas, if you know who > she is...), but some fantastic songs. alright, first off, kevin is right on. 'mule variations' is the best thing tom has done since 'small change' or 'nighthawks at the diner' (my personal favorite, by the way). secondly, diamanda galas RULES!!!!! everyone should find something of hers. it may take a little while, but your local independent record store ought to have something for you (if you're in the dc area, my store - now! music and fashion - always has stock on her). if not, try other music online (www.othermusic.com) > "Somewhere Near Paterson", Richard Shindell -- his newest effort. > Excellent, highly recommended. I think Ben can probably back me up on this > one... absolutely. richard shindell is a genius. ben (don't let me get started on music recommendations *ahem*greg brown) ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 10 Mar 2000 17:14:07 EST From: JewelAng@aol.com Subject: ET: *~Expert from a New Story~* This story is still in the very rough stage. Comments will be loved. I'll send more of the story once I write more. I'm thinking about making this a short book. Rebecca http://nettrash.com/users/majesticramblings I stood in the doorway, admiring the way the moon beamed of his jaw; it looked as if it had been made from granite stone. I took his sight in, from his shoulder length black hair, to the way his hand moved across the page. I wish I could see his eyes. My heart gave a solid twist within my chest as his eyes sought me standing in the doorway. His smile was gentle, just like his hands. But your eyes burned with a fire. A deep-rooted sensual fire. He lifted his hand up in a silent plea, as his other hand closed the book he had been drawling in. I sat carefully in the chair he motioned too, as my violet eyes locked with his powerful green ones. He stared at me with a mixture of pain and hope. "You came back to me," his voice was like thick warm molasses. "I'm sorry," I whispered with a shaky voice. "Ah, Gabriella, how much I've missed you." His hand snaked across the table as his warm fingers locked with mine. "I'm sorry," I whispered again, as the rain slowly patted on his one story, tiny house. His other hand moved towards my face and pushed a damp raven lock of hair from my face. My heart wrenched once again. I knew I had made a mistake before. "Come here, Gabriella." He spoke with all the love and courage I remembered so well. I walked around the table to where he sat. I felt ugly. My coat was worn and dirty. My feet bare. My hair hung around my face in black wet clumps. I looked down at his face with shame. I had did you wrong. All breath fled my body in surprise as his hand hesitantly touched my belly, which was heavy with child. His child. "Andre," I moaned. "Shhhh…" his perfect lips formed out. He bent forward and pressed his warm lips to the fabric that covered my heavy middle. I thought I had been given the shocks of all shocks, but I had been wrong. Andre knelt before me on the ground. His warm arms wrapped around my knees, his head resting on my pregnant belly. "I've missed you so." He whispered against my middle. "Andrea, please stand up." I could not stand seeing this beautiful god kneeling in front of my dirty feet. It should be I who was humbling myself before his feet. Not him before mine. I had left. I had left him with alone; with only his pencil and fire to stand at his side. After giving one last fond stroke to my belly, he stood once again to his full height. I saw then the changes that had come to pass on his beautiful face. Purple smudges rested beneath his green eyes. The eyes still held all of his emotion, but they were laced with more pain then I could ever remember. "Gabriella," he sighed out before crushing my lithe form with the large belly, to his chest. He began crushing kisses to my brow. The kisses seemed urgent, as if he could not get enough of the creamy pale skin. "I'm so glad you came back, love." He murmured through a haze of love. One silver tear fell from my eyes, as I dropped to my knees before him. I slipped around his feet, kissing the bare tops of them, as I began to sob at his feet. Large sobs wracked my body, so I did not notice that he now sat beside me, rocking me, rocking my small frame in his heated arms. I whipped the last tears, from my freckled pale cheeks, before looking up into his water green eyes. I knew why his eyes held that shine. He had always told me it hurt him to see me cry. I knew that the time I had been away, he had spent many tears upon his pillow. I felt responsible for each and every tear that had fell from his beautiful green eyes. I held his gaze for a few moments before tears formed again. How much I must have hurt him! I should have seen the truth. I fell back down again, sobbing. I wanted revenge against all the tears I caused him. I had been too naïve. * * * * * I slowly lifted my eyelids, which were heavy laden with sleep. I scanned my eyes around the room, not daring to move a muscle. I was sleeping in Andre's bed. I could feel his full warmth pressed against my back. His arms, gentle bands of steel, lay around my middle, in the most tender of ways. God, how I had missed him. His with his immense warmth and kindness. A small sigh lifted from my lips. I felt his arm tighten gently, his warm breath in my ear. "Morning," he said almost in a sigh. "Morning Andre," I said in a weak voice. I looked down at my body then. I noticed that I saw wearing one of his long nightshirts. Same blushed cheeks, he had undressed me. My body is so unbearably ugly. I had a small frame with huge belly, and abnormally large breasts. My stomach seemed almost too large for my five months of pregnancy. Suddenly I felt his warmth leave my back. I almost protested at it, but I kept my voice quiet, not saying a word. "Would you like some coffee?" he asked. "No, no," I protested. "Aren't you wondering why I just walking back into your life? Shouldn't you be angry? I just got up and left you." As soon as I said it all, I felt foolish….. ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 10 Mar 2000 23:16:38 GMT From: "~* cymbaline *~" Subject: ET: River runs dry (poem i just wrote) if love is a river my river's run dry my heart has gone empty all my tears have been cried. and if heartache a desert my home is as dry as the river now empty because love's passed me by. - -kelly- ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 10 Mar 2000 21:50:01 -0500 From: shivergirl Subject: ET: ~some tragically hip~ :) before i go dancing, i thought i'd do show&tell. :) i've only just gotten into em, really, (the hip), but i've always been captivated by their incomparable ~scared.~ no night-time wranglings from myself, so i provide the next bestest thing outside of americana. ;) (from their album, ~day for night,~ apropos enough) + ~grace, too~ he said i'm fabulously rich c'mon just lets go she kinda bit her lip geez, i don't know but i can guarantee there'll be no knock on the door i'm a total pro that's what i'm here for i come from downtown born ready for you armed with will and determination and grace, too the secret rules of engagement are hard to endorse when the appearance of conflict meets the appearance of force + ~daredevil~ i can't imagine how you feel and this is how you feel you say your name like you're no longer convinced but now they're strapping you in and closing the lid and dropping you in what's done you did he said 'what i'm going through is essentially all true made no less amazing by the fact that it's see-through' and the real wonder of the world is that we don't jump too + ~greasy jungle~ metropolis noir easy tangles the easiest so far i saw your hands melt into one another + ~fire in the hole~ you triumphed over will you had immunity to kill you had your dreams fulfilled and i love you still but there's a power beyond control there's a fire in the hole + ~so hard done by~ interesting and sophisticated refusing to be celebrated it's a monumental big-screen kiss it's so deep it's meaningless one day you'll just up and quit and that'll be it just then the stripper stopped in a coughing fit she said sorry i can't go on with this yeah that's awful close but that's not why i'm so hard done by it was true cinema a clef you should see it before there's nothing left in an epic too small to be tragic you'll have to wait a minute cause it's an instamatic yeah that's awful close but that's not why i'm so hard done by + ~nautical disaster~ i had this dream where i relished the fray and the screaming filled my head all day. it was as though i'd been spit here now i was in a lifeboat designed for ten and ten only, anything that systematic would get you hated. it's not a deal nor a test nor a love or something fated. then the dream ends when the phone rings. anyway, susan, if you like, our conversation is as faint as a sound in my memory + ~thugs~ everyone's got their breaking point with me it's spiders with you it's me i do the rolling you do the detail ~inevitably of death~ puffy lips and glistening skin and everything comes rushing in we don't go to hell memories of us do i get a sense of connectedness exclusive tight but nothing dangerous we don't go to hell but memories of us do and if you go to hell i'll still remember you but i thought you beat the death of inevitably to death just a little bit fantastic gap common space open concept in your smiling face we don't go to hell memories of us do and if you go to hell i'll still remember you + ~scared~ i could make you scared if you want me to i'm not prepared, but if i have to he said, i can make you scared it's kinda what i do if you're prepared here's what i propose to do you're in russia and more than a million works of art are whisked out to the woods so when the nazis find the whole place dark they think god's left the museum for good i make you scared, if that's what i do if you're prepared, if i have to if i make you scared and you pay me to if that's the deal now here's what i can do for you now there's a focus group that can prove this is all nothing but cold calculation tests have shown that suspicious or hostile their lives need not be shortened truth be told they can live a long, long while tickled to death by their importance if you make me scared, if that's what you do if i'm unclear can i get out of this thing with me and you if you feel scared, a bit confused, i gotta say this sounds a little beyond anything i'm used to now there's a precious few that can prove at the root this is all nothing but cold calculation clearly entranced, you're leaning back now defanged destroyer limps into the bay down at the beach it's attracting quite a crowd as kids wade through the blood out to it to play OK you made me scared, you did what you set out to do i'm not prepared, you really had me going there for a minute or two he said, you made me scared too, i wasn't sure i was getting through i gotta go, it's been a pleasure doing business with you. + ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #86 *********************************