From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #79 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Monday, March 6 2000 Volume 03 : Number 079 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #78 [RedWoodenBeads@aol.com] ET: i am everything you want... [Naomi Vaughn ] ET: It's not your ocean [RJonthego@aol.com] ET: You are not a mermaid [RJonthego@aol.com] ET: wax blood, she saw, and everybody else's girl [RJonthego@aol.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 6 Mar 2000 09:05:32 EST From: RedWoodenBeads@aol.com Subject: ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #78 In a message dated 3/5/00 9:02:21 PM Pacific Standard Time, owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org writes: << you inspired me.. Your Simple Beauty >> Very good, now buy the CD! Joe your mother recognizes all your desperate displays and she watches all her babies drift violently away http://www.chickpages. com/musicmania/joepages ------------------------------ Date: 5 Mar 00 23:23:04 CST From: Naomi Vaughn Subject: ET: i am everything you want... hey *angels*... haha :) well i haven't posted anything for a bit, but i have been writing here and there. for some reason i do better writing on different surfaces... vs. just paper. i take my transperancy marker to my big framed photo mosaic of van gogh, my mirror, my window, my desk... you name it. dunno what it is about it that makes it so much easier for me to get my thoughts out. so, anways, wasn't that so facinating? i'm gonna shut up now. i'll try and pick some out of my latest for you guys. how you all are well and good and great and grand and all that jazz... feathers, nai the everything angel that's 31% bitch, hehe sam, kara, court, nik... big love to ya!!!!! and joe... write me. long, rambling letters, kay? (= hehe, love you. oh yes, and if doc see's this, i got the vertical horizon cd : Awesome!!! - -- I go so far as to think maybe maybe I could've loved you If given the chance and maybe maybe you could've love me in the right light on the right day at the right time years after you've discovered that the feeling you mistook for not being ready well it's also known as that thing called love - -- what did you see when you looked so fondly into my eyes, and kissed so tenderly my waiting lips? -- perfect like those things which don't exsist undying like the flame never egnighted i love you with the passion of a dreamer never expecting to awake. -- i know somewhere that it can't be and i don't claim to think it's any other way and yet i still wear your name around my neck fingering the letter fondly and thinking only of what IS. - -- you think it's a calm feeling? something you walk into without trepedation, without fear? you think there's some reason or rhymn to it? well i'm sorry but it just isn't so it's a blind emotion and scary at that and no one is ever ready but that doesn't mean it's never time. - -- funny how daylight could wash out your face leaving only wishful thinking, foolish, silent words speaking so much but saying nothing, revealing nothing - -- what you need to see is you can't be everything to everyone and still be everything to me *** This is the part Where the hero saves the day This is the part Where the bad guy gets away ____________________________________________________________________ Get your own FREE, personal Netscape WebMail account today at http://webmail.netscape.com. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 06 Mar 2000 21:52:47 +0100 From: "Dr. RomeAntic" Subject: Re: ET: i am everything you want... > oh yes, and if doc see's this, i got the vertical horizon cd : Awesome!!! Oh yes... doc does not see everything but sometimes something glitters in the corner of his eye and catches his attention! :)) Well I'm glad you like it... I'm still waiting for it to hit Slovenian shelves... but have tons of great music to keep me satisfied till then... I'm reffering mostly to Counting Crows, Cool For August, Blessid Union Of Souls, Oleander, Bush, Tonic, Train, Stroke 9, Third Eye Blind and Siddharta (the ONLY truly great Slovenian band)! I here by recommend all that stuff! :)) - -- Have fun and stay beautiful Dr. RomeAntic, an angel with the worst stroke of luck and a flash of revelation "Cause you wanted more More than I could give More than I could handle In a life that I can't live You wanted more More than I could bare More than I could offer For a love that isn't there" Tonic Catch Dr. RomeAntic's outdated cyber image @ http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Metro/2009 ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 06 Mar 2000 15:29:31 -0800 From: Summer Burton Subject: ET: haven't posted here forever but i love all of y'alls stuff and i want some feedback on my latest... :-) ~~ YOU AND YOURS... hey, i was thinking about your hair and how it kind of lies there like a wet mop but that's not a very pretty metaphore so I stopped and i was thinking about your eyes and how they shine i would say that they shine like the sun cause they do but that would be a cliche and i hate cliches but they always seem to fit you but anyway, i was thinking about your eyes and how they relate to your hair up there and i was also thinking about your smile and how it makes me want to smile like you and how it makes me want to die sometimes too and i never know which to do when you're smiling standing there smiling and then i started thinking about dying and this ani difranco song ani, she's one of my heroes (it's a cliche, i know) but anyway, ani difranco says "i sing sometimes like my life is at stake" and i was thinking about how i sing sometimes like my life is at stake and how i sing louder when i sing like your life is at stake and how i fight sometimes like my life is at stake and how i live like my life is at stake cause it is like a constant hand around my neck i remember that you could kill me with words you're beyond my life now i can't live hard or sad enough to live like your life is at stake but every time i breathe at night i can feel it like a constant hand around my neck, a reminder that we are all mortal and while i can deal with it for me i'll never be able to deal with your death correctly i'll never be able to survive the end of your life i won't be able to survive. and i was thinking about how your hair brings me there to your grave where i will die i was thinking about how that makes a prettier metaphore how i should rewrite the beginning of this poem to get to the core how i should say, hey i was thinking about your hair and how it kind of lies there and how someday it will kill me ~ SARAH sarah is shining in a tangerine glow discoball queen grooving slow she is overdressed and quite well done she is always possessed by an undertone of fun glamrock angel with stripedy socks dancing to rock with lips pursed and platforms clickclacking in time she is intelligent, well-versed, delicious, sublime she is my candy corn baby, a body glitter lady but deep down she is pumped up on depression meds strung out and lonely and wishing for more remembering all the what-ifs and could-have-saids wishing she had opened a few more doors she wants to be famous and lusted and well-known to all but right now she's just painted and dusted and about to fall ~ PORCELAIN you are a snow white ophelia victim you like to wrap yorself up in blankets of madeup sin you act like the whole universe revolves around him (and you, you, you) fairytale porcelain girl breakable and taken and late for another date with your girlfriends you cry and sigh and expect them all to die over you and they do they do they follow you around like you are their universe orbiting your hair and your eyes like they are the earth you are their sun but they don't know how hot you burn deep down they don't know that you're just hot air you look beautiful up there but close up you're not so gorgeous anymore like everyone else you whine and snore but they don't ever know they won't ever know you'll always be their sun you'll always be their onlyone because you are a snow white blonde hair ophelia girl you are every fantasy every mystery every tale that's been told fairytaler porcelain girl breakable and taken and late, again. ~ FANTASY FRIENDS i can't think of my people as people anymore everytime i see them it's another metaphore the glass unicorn is crying on the floor the purple giraffe doesn't hang around much anymore my friends are all fantasies conjured in my head i can't think of anything they've said just what i imagined it to be i can't think of anything they did just what i wanted to see my friends are too sad when they take off their masks i don't want to see them bleed i glue on their masks so i don't have to see i can't handle the dying, the dead, the wishtheywere i can't handle the beauty or the ugliness seeping i can't handle the men, i can't handle the girls so i imagine they're winged, they're gold, they're rainbows, they're sleeping so now i am friends with a fairy tale world of taffeta angels and metaphore whores my friends are shiny and new and red and blue and rainbowed bores porcelain dolls whose eyes close when you lay them down whose makeup turns them into my beautiful clowns boys turn into poets and girls turn into ballgowns i know it's not them really but i can't face any more reality i can't stand to see him cause i know that all i'll see is the pain and the gain and the lies that make us human and i've never liked people that much anyway i can't stand their sins i just like to dream and poeticize and place them away i think i've figured them out cause i compared them to a vegetable or fruit sarah is tangerines in her blonde hair discoball suit michelle is some make believe thing out of dr. suess like a brown barbaloot in it's barbaloot suit kate is britney's tube top she's a rock n roll delight she's perfect and she's smiling she sparkles with light she's a thin carrot metaphore so i ignore the crying inside dylan is a baby and he's mine and he's safe with me he's a crazy kiwi boy that can't really see anything all my friends have wings they can sing and they can fly i'll never have to see them hurting if i just close my eyes i'll never have to watch them die, i'll never have to say goodbye if i just ignore the reality of these days of bruises and pain it's easier that way, to poeticize all my friends away ~ ANGELS the angels are littering my poems and dreams they are pressed between the pages of my encyclopedias they are living in my drumbeats and seeping from my hair dies there are so many of them that they're running out of room to breathe there are so many of them that i can't live my life right i see them in boys blue eyes and i see them in corduroy naps i see wings on every girlfriend i see wings on every dog and cat everyone thinks angels are such a beautiful thing try one hundred of them then times that by one hundred more they are everywhere, winged and singing they never shutup, whispering their secrets to only me whispering comments about everyone and everything whispering laughing flapping their wings i have to write them and paint them and walk them out to get them out i have to tell everyone i have to cry and vomit and scream them out i have to get their story done so i never have time to sing about anything else it's what all of my poems are about the angels did that and the angels did this but hey it's my job i'm the one they chose so here it goes: the angels the angels the angels are bitter the angels are lonely the angels are throwing yet another fit their wings are drooping their faces in frown they stomp their feet and when they try to fly they just fall down they can't dance cause their wings bump into everything they can't swim cause they'll just drown so they're depressed and they're bored they just follow me around they just show up everywhere they just make themselves heard in every single sound they just make themselves shown in every single boy but the angels aren't pretty anymore the angels don't sound so divine to me anymore i can't do it anymore i know god will hate me but i gotta push them away i can't romantasize and fantasize the angels anymore i can't be their nurse, i can't be their number one fan i've had enough already, okay? i've had enough pretty feelings i've had enough wings i've had enough angelsongs i've had enough of this thing goodbye to the angels goodbye to the wings now i'll close my eyes and now i'll never feel anything ~ EVERYONE'S OPHELIA everyone could be ophelia drowning in blood and sweat we are all our own little ophelias inside growing crazy with all our regrets she lives on everywhere she is remembered as beautiful and fair, everywhere performed around the world performed for every girl this is my fantasy this is my dream i want to live on stage i want to scream and be remembered for my sins but they'll all remember them as perfection after i drown myself in rain or blood or aspirin i want pretty women to play me in movies i want pretty men to dress up as women just so they will get a chance to be seen as the most beautiful crazed beautiful girl beautiful beautiful drowned thing just so they can play SUMMER I will outperform ophelia i will hand out tigerlilies, no wildflowers for this one i will sing better songs i will singsongs never been done by a crazy girl before i will sing marley and mitchell before i die and i won't drown in no river held up by my ball gown held up by my taffeta prom dress my outfit will be punk rock star i will die in the ocean wearing feather boas and leather i will pour salt into the wounds i will pour myself into the waves how's that for brave? i will live on stage that is my fantasy that's where i want to be performed for the millions every day of the week performed agian and agian i'd like to be able to become a teenage goth girl obssesion i'd like to be ophelia at first and then rise above the miserable wench i'd like to play ophelia at first and then show the world who the number one bitch it's it's me summer, drowned and insane summer, remembered for her pain everyone is ophelia but i will be more everyone is ophelia but i will be more ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 6 Mar 2000 16:46:25 EST From: RJonthego@aol.com Subject: ET: It's not your ocean You think he'll save you from drowning in this ocean But he makes the waves crash And he's the the water washing onto your shore And i'm danglin danglin off the end of the pier Watching you slow-swim away from me He takes your hand and pulls you down You dream... ~maybe I'm a mermaid ~he can give me fins ~and underwater kingdoms ~i'll never be afraid I'm holding on with one hand I can't see where you've gone in that black black ocean And none of the blank eyes staring reflect where you are You need a rescuer I drop, I fall, I hope That I'll find you before I am washed up rejected from the ocean of your tears. ~~~~ Roya "years go by will we still be waiting for somebody else to understand.." tori ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 6 Mar 2000 16:55:26 EST From: RJonthego@aol.com Subject: ET: You are not a mermaid You are not a mermaid Poseidon calls, and all the water nymphs, they follow your ocean king makes ships crash angry with his trident, but you follow Echo underwater You are not a mermaid He can't turn your wings into fins You can't breathe underwater You, who was once afraid to swim. I'm dangling Off the edge of the pier Watching his debris cluttering up your shore I'm helpless watching you slow swim away You are not a mermaid He can't turn your wings into fins You can't breathe underwater You, who was once afraid to swim. He's pulling and you're going down Swallowed up by the blackest ocean All you see is him Thinking that he'll protect you Forgetting the angry waves will still hurt, because You are not a mermaid He can't turn your wings into fins You can't breathe underwater You, who was once afraid to swim. You are a voiceless shadow Once a strong white flame Helplesness is not something I give in to But the roaring of teh ocean deafens you, drowning out my call You are not a mermaid He can't turn your wings into fins You can't breathe underwater You, who was once afraid to swim. I will fall If I'm the only one who can help Maybe if you see me struggling Fighting the ocean for you You'll find me bruised on the sand Before it's too late, because We are not a pair of mermaids Neither one of us have fins We can't breathe underwater I will always be afraid to swim. ~~~ could use some cleaning up...but the idea's there. royaboya "when you gonna make up your mind? when you gonna love you as much as i do?" tori ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 6 Mar 2000 17:00:47 EST From: RJonthego@aol.com Subject: ET: wax blood, she saw, and everybody else's girl Drip blood onto my arm smells like cherry hot, give me warmth it solidifies, i pull it off, my wrist stinging from the loss. Store it in a jar, my wax blood, see how close i can hold the flame until i blister. Dripping blood onto my arm, give me back what i lost, pain i can control. @-->-- She realized how I am hurting with no one to confide in, not wanting to risk or mar my laughing frienships. She noticed, and I should have noticed she deserves more credit than I have ever given her. @-->-- Everybody else's girl that's fine, as long as I help Live for yourself, one says Don't be selfish, from another direction. I will live for those who don't remember how Sing them to sleep so they have more to listen to than their tears Rock them gently when the other warm-arms fail them That will be my life Being too exhausted to mourn over Friendships I lost. When everybody loves me, that's as good as I can feel You say I'm everybody else's girl like it's a bad thing. Maybe someone else will come along who will remind me how to breathe and eat and sing for me while I sleep. But if everybody loves me, I think that's all I need. @-->-- roya "if i die today i'll be the happy phantom.." tori ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #79 *********************************