From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #54 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Monday, February 14 2000 Volume 03 : Number 054 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: more journal rambles [RJonthego@aol.com] ET: You can help too! [DPS8315@aol.com] ET: feel the love :) [TiamoD@aol.com] ET: yupyup! more... [RJonthego@aol.com] ET: consciously deliberately trying to be okay [shivergirl ] ET: Circumstantial Mood-Induced...Shtuff [Annie ] ET: Things I learn... [JADED022@aol.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 13 Feb 2000 01:31:57 EST From: RJonthego@aol.com Subject: ET: more journal rambles So now I wait with those butterflies that haven't diminished yet even though she said don't worry about it when they do. ~ Uncertainty follows me around after two days Don't hint that I'm pathetic Because I already think so. I'm sorry (oops - I forgot what you said about that) but the longer I'm away the harder it is to go back. ~ Writing with markers the bright, fat crayloya kind makes me feel important, like taking up space and writing in big bubble letters to catch your attention. (let me know if it works.) ~~ Royaboya "And I'd give up forever to touch you, 'cause i know that you feel me so well" Goo Goo Dolls ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Feb 2000 10:52:55 EST From: DPS8315@aol.com Subject: ET: You can help too! Hello everyone! I actually got some decent junk mail today, and for those of you who know me, you know how much I distaste emails that aren't personalized in any manner. So what's the purpose? Well, some corporation out there managed to get enough sponsorship to set up a "Race for the Rainforest" It's very simple. When you follow the link below, a page will come up asking you to click a button. Everytime you or someone else does, 0.0001 of an acre of rainforest is saved. Not a whole lot huh? Well, it's costly and that's why they need our help, but first: http://rainforest.care2.com/front.html/player53837 The "Race for the Rainforest" works like this, you invite the people you know to help out, and from you, there are 4 rungs to this ladder. Every person that votes and was invited by someone you invited, every time that someone you invited votes, and everytime you vote, I get credit. (You get credit, they get credit, and they get credit too) Basically the goal is to save the rainforest, the whole 'race' part of it is just for fun. Each individual's goal is 50 acres. If you have any questions, feel free to email me, or check out http://rainforest.care2.com/ Thank you so much for your time and help! ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Feb 2000 12:32:45 EST From: TiamoD@aol.com Subject: ET: feel the love :) Hello friends! Through all your wilingness to share and express, though I don't know any of you personally, that's how I like to think of this unique group. Anyhow, instead of giving of my songs and poems, I mainly have just been learning from and admiring all of yours. Yet, I thought some of you might enjoy this Valenties day poem and maybe it will start a trend with me to share as much as you guys do. Comments/feedback are welcomed, if not, that's okay too. Maybe some of you will relate. I just want everybody have a wonderful day...with or without a valentine. One love baby!! - -Tiamo :) "The goodness in me recognizes the goodness in you angel" Valentines Day Unfamiliar Being with myself Was always so much better And watching others Fall back in love For one day out of the many Made me far from envious It was always a day For me to observe and hope That the things these lovers were trading Had more meaning behind it Than obligation It was always a day When even if someone Was on the other end And I got to be included That other end Was never endless It seemed to be a day To all my others That is celebrated Because if you don't Than your love is in question That is not what Valentines Day is for It's for something larger It's about love And the combining of it It's about realizing That you are a half Of the whole And that oneness Really can be attained At an everyday level This Valentines Day is unfamiliar It is not something fake Or expected Or absent Or a day where People remember To love It is a day That is a wonderful reminder That everyday Should be like this one While sitting in the stands Left me content Now I have a reason To be on an isolated field And know what it's like To truly love Throw out the calender And disregard the chocolate This day is something more magnificent It is a time to celebrate my life With someone who knows Exactly what it means To love The way God Planned for it to be ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Feb 2000 13:58:15 EST From: RJonthego@aol.com Subject: ET: yupyup! more... I feel like Charlie Brown even his dog turns against him when my previous-life enemies talk to me only to wonder who kicked me, and what technique did they use to get that marvelous bruise? Poor Charlie Brown Especially when I feel like Lucy Bold and Brass I've heard But I've been in Charlie Brown's big flat shoes too often. Good Ol' Charlie Brown (will you say it again?) ~ You frustrate me I want to rip out your yes and strangle you with your own necklace till your eyes bulge like the ones on your shirt how is it that you care nothing - -cruel-hateful- and I cry cheeks burn and curses flare I hate you you warn me I hate you you hurt me I hate you you frustrate me I hate you you love that you can do this to me. ~ I chew the inside of my mouth the gateway to all that is not right. I want to make it bleed, swell, prevent me from putting anything else inside. I wish it wasn't all or nothing. Because I am not that strong. ~ You say I can be strong You remind me that I'm loved you say I'm not the perfect girl perfect girls aren't real. Tell me where I belong again, It's hard to keep on looking Tell me, what time are we upon? The clock's keep on tick-tocking. I am not a perfect girl perfect girl perfect world You say this is not a perfect world (remember the people) (remember you love me) I cut and paste the things they say attaching them to make it happier I need to know that it helps, I am not a perfect girl But I want to make things better. ~ Perfect girl that's a laugh. Insecure and jealous all the way. But if he sees a little of what my sticky tears have bled onto, and hid... he knows I am not a perfect girl, but maybe I am close (only with him) - -don't mistake me for being better than I am just keep that in mind- I am not a perfect girl. ~ maybe dis jointed is the wa y to go. So I ca n fi nd some one who is wil ling to put the puz zle back tog et her ~ I was scared to tell you scared not to. You hold my hand - -what is there to be - -scared of? ~ Yes this is an obsession with perfection. But if there is a perfect girl out there will I find her before he does? And if I do, where will I hide the body? ~ ouch. bone truth naked thoughts, every piece of gravel scratches every shard of glass cuts. tell me what i need to hear, cover me up, just a little. ~ Dark angels have the wings desirable to leave and they shelter you, protect you The block the light Which hurts your eyes. But do you want to stay blind forever? ~ He sings along to the chanting language His mother, His father, His home. I am so sorry I can never understand. ~ I can't remember which was the lucky number I can't remember the magic word. I don't remember the way you told me, Even though at the time I swore I'd never forget. ~ You tell me about bad trips and i say, baby, just look at you! sitting in so much smoke (i'll never live past 30) but i sit there for you, realize there's someone here... you dont need that needle. you laugh, but i'm a laugher too. i know it's either laugh or cry. just wait, and watch the eyes. i get up, leave the room. I don't really, but I wish I could. ~ He stands at his desk (never sitting) paying bills, singing to music. I wonder what memories his heart is hurting for. ~ When I write like I am inspired, my speech goes down the drain - it's not fair, but I've always been an either- or kinda girl. ~ Remembering parks&cars&beaches& libraries&pools&restaurants, my skin gets cold. You are not the person I remember. ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Feb 2000 14:44:12 -0500 From: shivergirl Subject: ET: consciously deliberately trying to be okay hi newbies and oldies. you yanks really turn my crank... ;) and not-so-subtle censorship (in any of the romantic languages) truly cracks me up. i guess there's nuthin like feelin like a third wheel when you're just dying to be the third eye. anyways, on to some sanity-seeking-sessions.. + there aren't enough doors in this house to get away from you. i'd need at least 50 just to be ready for you. + love.calm me.go.home (with.you) + did you ever have a for sale sign in your heart's window (i didn't think so) i think you thought you'd let me part with a piece of foreshadowing before the market got hot you were sold + you were such an emotional wedgie you made skyscraper ledges appealing again after a got-my-shit-together touch-and-go interval and just can't seem to recall when the cotton shortage crept north + ~dear dar danglings~ as cool as i am february is off the chart my emotions refuse to get dressed they prefer to lie in bed instead and i can't start travelling be at one when i feel so fucking numb all of a sudden i remember iowa is somewhere i never wanna go with my unwashed feet and i don't mind being called christian now and again when the millennium ends the pagans will marry the heathens again and i will not be so deadened to the blessings of my friends or the bends + i dropped your heart on the bathroom floor like a defiant contact your image became clouded and i scrambled to pick up the fragments of my perception but the carpet was too cleverly camaflouged for me to see beyond the cream-coloured deception i envision outside the realm of dreams + pregnant with foreboding i walked inside a mild february afternoon devoid of gloom home from school but my psychic antenna went up as i tread closer and i could sense the sadness of the familial mess seeping from underneath every room and i sought a guardian angel/ savior in the form of a hastily-offered-up prayer but i was too late and the blinds were drawn against the winter and your face came angrily and vapidly into view and all my child-like afternoons have come and gone much too soon yeah i said they've come and gone because of you + tell me about your woody allen film marathon or anything (perhaps not even remotely interesting) just keep talking to me (please) while the others run and try their snobbish best to stay away from the appointed outcast i am catapulted from the present back to the agony of grade three alone at recess where the tears are frozen forever on my blushing cheeks and i'm labelled friendless for life + could you come up with a headline for my life i wonder if it would even warrant one are their characters fucked-up enough outside of multiple asterisks and exclamation marks whispering in all caps with no spaces in between the meaning just shifts from joy to searing torture where crumbs of self-love have been shoved in between the dirty keys and the fingers are unrecognizable but they're mine ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Feb 2000 17:30:37 -0500 From: Annie Subject: ET: Sway My Insanity Sway My Insanity Take my rusted spring metal Give me the glaring eye I have no tongue, no mouth for begging And you'll never see me cry Oh, there are my nights Rabid evenings when stars do laugh My fist as high as the moon In Her beam of aftermath Where were you when I was something? Intangible and becoming as frost Where were you when I was only a prayer? Did I fall from your lips to crash in your hair? Where were you when I was an indigo tree? Violence did a number on me My sap seeps out with lethargic glee The hand to rock my insanity Tumble, stumble, float and fly You are crazy and so am I The rain falls down and so I cry I watch it splash, I watch it die - -Annie Fairly short, I know. I haven't posted in a while, so here's a cup of tea from me. :) ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Feb 2000 18:07:43 -0500 From: Annie Subject: ET: Circumstantial Mood-Induced...Shtuff I want to be A piece of the wind Free-falling and messying the hair Of all the pretty people in the world Yes, I am a little bitter - ------ Daffodils are my cup of tea. They always have something pleasant to say Because they never say anything mean. - ------ I forgot my femininity today. It slipped under the oriental rug Like a learned behavior, And I didn't shave my legs. And as I walked home alone, I didn't worry about being raped. Well, maybe just a little. - ------ I wonder why we have armpit hair. Is it like moss, And enjoys hot, damp places? If so, I think my pit hair Should move to Brazil. - ----- Of all the great inventions in the world, I think I appreciate Candy necklaces The most. (And chocolate) - ----- Sometimes, as I sit in class, I get a great mental image Of whoever invented algebra Being shot. Repeatedly. - ------ Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Who really cares??! Chickens are so lovable! - ----- I suspect toe hairs (All three of them) Are really only along for the ride. God saw that cats had too much hair already, So they would shed. But he had all those leftover hairs And put about three on each big toe Of each human. Oh, the horror. - ----- If it weren't for litter boxes, Would my cat stink? And why does cat urine glow under a black light? I wish mine would. It's not fair. - ----- The sky is God's mood ring. When He is sad because of pollution, The sky is grey. When He is happy that children still have trees to climb, The sky is blue. So the stars are just His grinning freckles And I count them. One, two, infinity-and-forever. - -Annie ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Feb 2000 18:57:58 EST From: JADED022@aol.com Subject: ET: Things I learn... Annie (I hope I got the name right) Reminded me of a poem I wrote some odd years ago...Nothing special, but I thought Id hand it out here... ~Jade~ Im learning things I'll never use The professor in front of me Teaches laws of relativity Like it's important to him, So I listen (I'll give him that much) But I still won't like it. I drift off into my thought filled state of mind Thinking of the un-importance of what Im "Learning" That guy, who invented that law. I can see him...Way back then At a desk at the crack of dawn Frustrated, still trying to figure out the answers to his equations... Finding one answer, that leads to a zillion more questions Questions he HAS to figure out Is he after fame? Recognition that he knows things nobody else knows I bet he was your typical geek, glasses and all... But I bet his wife misses him in bed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'll never get a degree if I keep this up! LOL = ) ~Jade~ ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #54 *********************************