From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #47 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Tuesday, February 8 2000 Volume 03 : Number 047 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #46 [RedWoodenBeads@aol.com] ET: ~ sweet memories of a summer ~ ["marty" ] ET: ~ and what took me to dreamland ~ ["marty" ] ET: Everday Angel Haven Webring [JewelAng@aol.com] ET: My Horns Keeps up my Halo webring [JewelAng@aol.com] ET: a few ["The Phoenix Princessa" ] ET: I only give one chance girl(poem) ["Seth D. Fulmer" ] ET: "yellow bird flying gets shot in the wing" ["The Phoenix Princessa" <] ET: Hello I love you(poem) ["Seth D. Fulmer" ] ET: Your songs aren't meant for me [JADED022@aol.com] ET: lighters and rain drops... [RJonthego@aol.com] ET: I'd Like to Dream [JADED022@aol.com] ET: ~installment four~ (what?? there's more?? ;) [shivergirl > Lindy! ~*Joe I took your urgent whisper Stole the arc of a white wing http://www.chickpages. com/musicmania/joepages ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 7 Feb 2000 08:01:24 +0100 From: "marty" Subject: ET: ~ sweet memories of a summer ~ ~ ~ ~ it was last year, summer holidays, we had our bicycles.. have you been sitting for a long time in a peaceful, quiet church, just thinking.. relaxing.. pondering.. dreaming? that's one of those things i really really yearn for, if you'd like that, my love? we were on vacation, it was on the isle-of-ven this last summer, as you know.. we biked through this heavy lashing rainfall, and we soon reached this really cosy lil stone-church located on top of this marvellous hill.. and it was open! so we sat down there on a bench, took off our raincoats. it was sven, pontus & caroline, and me.. and we were all quiet and left out to think for ourselves, and it was absolutely wonderful. we sat there for like twenty minutes- half an hour, and said not a word.. and while i sat there, i prayed for sunshine; i prayed for my lovelife to settle for one who really loves me, someone i could really care for and make comfortable. my first wish; came true immediatement. my second wish; came true to me at fall when i fell in love for real this time, this time for real. ~ ~ ~ ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 7 Feb 2000 08:05:34 +0100 From: "marty" Subject: ET: ~ and what took me to dreamland ~ ~ ¤ ~ i will fall asleep to imagining you and me, sitting side by side inside that lil church atop the sand-hill.. our hands silently searching beside our sides.. finding each other - finally prayers whispered inside converging sun casts its oh so longed for rays through the churches old windows finally oh how we love this word, finally. ~ ¤ ~ i will take you there lovely i will sit on the front saddle honey i will take you where ever you want. ~ ¤ ~ yes i held your hand today.. in the forest. and i haven't felt the absence of your right hand, since the day when we left the boring room i would never let you drown.. not without me stuck to your side. ~ ¤ ~ ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 7 Feb 2000 07:09:51 EST From: JewelAng@aol.com Subject: ET: Everday Angel Haven Webring Hello Angels, Well this webring is slowly growing. If you have a website, join this webring for your site. Your website does NOT have to be about Jewel. It's just a group of sites, made by fans of Jewel. To get more infromation, go to the website: http://www.angelfire.com/yt/eda Thanks! Rebecca ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 7 Feb 2000 07:14:56 EST From: JewelAng@aol.com Subject: ET: My Horns Keeps up my Halo webring This webring is for people who have ever been told they are an angel, but really know that your horns are keeping up that halo. Your site has to be creative to get into the ring. It must have some orignal content (poetry, art, writing, ect.) To find out more info go to: http://www.angelfire.com/yt/horns Thanks. Rebecca ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 06 Feb 2000 23:16:16 -0800 From: "The Phoenix Princessa" Subject: ET: a few hi, i have to explain. these are not supposed to be beautiful. james, i didn't put much thought into the wording. i just needed to get some stuff out. - -- imaginary pain i once called it has been made to be all too real no one notices or they avert their eyes and i hastily cover the slashed arm with my fallen sleeve i wonder why they don't care to see? and at the same time that i drip tears, i eye a knife and picture, or look at the slice of lemon by my tea and wonder what it would feel like on fading etches. craving something so much that i know i have to stop, i tremble feeling so alone in a world of millions whose arms are bleeding. mine just don't bleed enough * joyful girl zero etches pathways wants nothing but to live nothing but to feel nothing but to see the red be at last the beauty blood cry from out of jailed tears joyful girl zero knows she's loved knows she has a lot to live for knows she has a lot going knows she has no real problems thinks she has no real issues just a middle class suburban teenager pre-obsessed with ink lines fading into scratches which slowly drips into cuts she wants everyone to see she wants no one to know the satisfaction she feels the shame in which she glows is too unbearable she wants to see the skin rip apart curiosity and the lack of fear intertwined with terror she wanted to be twisted to destroy some projected image to prove that she could feel now she feels too much with nothing to blame she has everything to cry for with too many reasons to go on she has nothing to die for feeling only desperate caged in and afraid wanting to stop wanting to be sane having no desire to quit searching everywhere so that she could somehow read herself in someone else's books reassured, only to go back to the fact that she's so joyful and this girl is simply zero numb, pathetic, and all too afraid of pain to stop the crisscrosses that run a track of horror in deliberate red streaks across her skin * - --- "art is why I get up in the morning but my definition ends there and it doesn't seem fair that I'm living for something I can't even define there you are right there in the meantime" -ani get your free gURLmAIL at http://www.gURLmAIL.com ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 07 Feb 2000 07:57:45 -0500 From: "Seth D. Fulmer" Subject: ET: I only give one chance girl(poem) Hi everyone! :) Well, for some reason this morning I'm really inspired. This poem is basically about how I only give one chance to people to let me love them. If I like a girl and she decides to go to some other guy, tough luck. My mom says it's really stubborn of me but that's me. Anyhow, this is the first one. If you don't want to receive my poetry, let me know okey? :) And comments, questions, flames, etc. are welcome but not necessary. Take cares and Have a Great Day!! :o) - -Seth ==================================== I only give one chance girl 2/7/00 by Seth D. Fulmer In the corner of my mind, I sit in a corner drinking seaweed milkshakes and smoking lots of dope You come on over to me with that stride I love so much Speaking nice and sweetly like there were roses in your voice Well those roses that I gave you dear Last year on Valentines day Are they still alive and healthy like the kiss you gave me on the cheek? You said I wasn't right for you after I said I loved you dearly How many chances do you want dear? five, fifty, or a million? Now that I'm sitting here, a pile of dung on the sidewalk reading a newspaper from last week and eating McDonalds with snot on the wrapper Don't even come thinking I'll take you I'd rather die in pain and agony I only give one chance girl You blew it, now leave me alone ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 07 Feb 2000 00:02:59 -0800 From: "The Phoenix Princessa" Subject: ET: sleep sleep, sleep inthat place where an empty bed lies under a string of pale white lights that circles the perimeter of the room sleep, sleep in that place where my tears soak the pillow because i cant understand why i want to feel pain, and i am so filled with love and yet i am so alone and can only bury my head in shirts whose owners scent is already fading sleep, sleep in that place where i probably will not sleep at all, just fight off the impulse to draw lasting lines on my body to reveal some ache within of something i feel lacking or something i have too much of sleep, sleep in that place where i harbor dreams and imagine arms wrapped around me and know that i want to be more than twisted and sick and know that i'm complex without physical pain and hate the numb and hate the sting and dread the outcome of knowing that even without a good enough reason i am happy with so much in my life that this undertone of fear confusion and the need to control the need for freedom is hurting others and sleep, sleep in that place where i have every desire to stop but satisfaction keeps me attacted and sleep, sleep in that place where i do not want to return to because i am so lonely, so cold, so longing - --- "art is why I get up in the morning but my definition ends there and it doesn't seem fair that I'm living for something I can't even define there you are right there in the meantime" -ani get your free gURLmAIL at http://www.gURLmAIL.com ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 07 Feb 2000 13:38:03 -0800 From: "The Phoenix Princessa" Subject: ET: "yellow bird flying gets shot in the wing" i wanted to write you guys and thank everyone who has written to help me out. it means so much more than i can express. i will still write you all back personal emails, but for now i wanted to just send a general thank you statement, especially to kevin, holly, kara, tara and my lovely nai. love samara - --- "Shame Such a shame I think I kind of lost myself again Day Yesterday Really should be leaving but I stay Say Say my name I need a little love to ease the pain It's easy to remember when it came 'Cause it feels like I've been I've been here before And you are not my savior But I still don't go Feels like something that I've done before I could fake it but I still want more" - -massive attack- get your free gURLmAIL at http://www.gURLmAIL.com ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 07 Feb 2000 08:17:05 -0500 From: "Seth D. Fulmer" Subject: ET: Hello I love you(poem) Hi :) Well, I said I was inspired. I wrote this almost immediately after the last poem. I was looking for audio files and saw this title of a song by the Doors "Hello I love you" and it brought to mind some stuffs. I was then thinking about how Amanda had said to me that she had lost the only friend that would ever love her and I was like "Hellooooo, what about me?!" But anyhow, this is the poem...Again that junk about comments, etc. and if you don't want to receive the poems stuff, let me know :) Take cares :o) -Seth ================================================ Hello I love you by Seth D. Fulmer 2/07/00 That night on the dance floor when you danced with him swing, sliding, dancing real close You were really pushing me away I told you the other day dear a few days ago, or weeks I forget I'd love to be able to love you and for you to love me back You then proceeded to tell me a tale of sadness unimaginable You said you lost the only friend that you thought would ever love you My God, that is sad if anyone would ever stop loving a creature so majestic your halo is glistening in the sun You walk on by me holding his hand gazing in his eyes so very steadily You plan on getting a kiss later Hello girl! I love you! ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 7 Feb 2000 18:18:58 EST From: JADED022@aol.com Subject: ET: Your songs aren't meant for me I wrote this one for Zac...he knew right away that it was about him...Oh God there's a BIG HUGE story behind this poem...I'll have to tell ya'll about it later! ~JADE~ - --Your songs aren't meant for me-- I took the memory of you to bed with me tonight And you held me closely You laid there softly and sang for me The songs you once wrote out of inspiration So warm and insightful you are Living just for this moment I felt the deepest parts of your heart As we embraced the moonlight Dreaming it would all go on forever Your memory is all I took to bed with me tonight Because your songs aren't meant for me ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 7 Feb 2000 19:07:23 EST From: RJonthego@aol.com Subject: ET: lighters and rain drops... Are you coming? Catch up with me quick These warm boy arms won't be here forever And the trampoline will get wet. She throws rocks and bricks, Bringing her house crashing around her ears Her friend picking up the glass Hording the shards And I want to throw up, I know what she'll do. Slinking inside of a warm boy's jacket I'll return it at the end of the day. She doesn't sleep alone, She says she's never held. But she's got the comfort of detergent and sweat, and her collections to keep her warm. The pictures on her wall that want to speak And the attention of all her friends. It sounds so cheap "It sounds so old, I feel like someone else, I haven't changed but I know I ain't the same" the way we all grabbed from each other exchangeing cuddles like bracelets or rings Even though he knew what turned backs were all about Still he chose to wipe up blood And shelter the thin. Are you coming? I'm getting impatient. Go on ahead, dont bother waiting for me... ...I don't think I'll ever catch up. ~ Obession flares, Searing blisters on my thumbs boiling black water dripping upside down onto my arm. Where it already stung, a material excuse for the "emotional pain" My heart felt like her orange shirt Except it flickered, then started up again too fast. I needed something to burn through the cold and gray enough pain in a form I could hold in my hand Something I could focus on, Instead of wishing they would come Wanting them to follow. Standing in the drip-drip-drip, Wishing I were a statue Drip drip drip And a little more of me wears down. Maybe I am a statue, Marble cold, and I can't warm up. Except my heart beats orange flares and it throbs too hard, my stone face starts to chip. He kicks the shards out of her reach, and she follows. Where they go, My marble legs aren't fast enough to follow Boiling black water steams onto my arm, I kick through fairyland, too big to follow. My orange flame hear, searing blisters on my skin. I can't look, I can't follow. ~ Royaboya "we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy" ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 7 Feb 2000 22:59:36 EST From: JADED022@aol.com Subject: ET: I'd Like to Dream I've re-written this thing a zillion times...Then I read it and like it one day, then the next I hate it..I dunno, tell me what you think! ~Forever, Jade~ I'd like to dream... Id like to surround myself in simplicity And breathe in all that I was meant to. Finding myself now, In a place full of sky limit dreams Where none of the dreamers ever Look up once and awhile Id use my time in simpler ways Instead of those rushing off, to somewhere important Id go to where the winds blow from And ask them where they're going I'd entertain the stars that just sit there And watch them fall as a final bow And for once... Letting the moon embrace me While I dream of it all I'd breathe in all the life I've wasted here ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 07 Feb 2000 23:22:53 -0500 From: shivergirl Subject: ET: ~installment four~ (what?? there's more?? ;) + i hope to find more people who've read richard bach. i love it when the house shakes with the possibility of uprooting and taking me with it-- as long as my family can come along for the ride. snow no longer has any romantic appeal for me. i'm into confessional lyrics even though i don't go to confession. i like to think i helped write the song. and the spice girls taste all right to me, despite the fact they're making so much money. earrings just don't jibe with my ears, and it's hard to suspend my disbelief while watching days of our lives. commercials rarely make me smile. i could die happily in front of a fire place. i don't care if it's real or not. i like milkshakes, but not when i'm really thirsty. and quarter pounders with cheese are my greatest indulgence, whether i'm hungry or not. i would like to visit europe, along with museums and galleries and operas, but later, when i'm older; right now i don't wanna be that cultured. i used to get dressed up far too much for a boy. now it seems i do it less, but for more. my room is up to its flowered neck in gadgets. i hate it that my alarm clock actually works. i'd rather drive than walk, but not if i have to drive. i'd drive anywhere if it's fast and dangerous. i crave substance and sincerity, but i admire fluff and fall for fakes. i don't know if pot should be legal. but maybe anti-depressants aren't really just happy pills. i used to not wanna grow up. but i've never felt young. i've always ate too much for a girl, but i never gained wait till now. i guess i'm becoming a woman. sometimes i wanna be a man. ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #47 *********************************