From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #40 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Tuesday, February 1 2000 Volume 03 : Number 040 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: Post with Meaning [DPS8315@aol.com] Re: ET: Post with Meaning [kara garbe ] ET: Nothing Special Days [JADED022@aol.com] ET: Chillin on a "sick" day [JonBoy911@aol.com] Re: [ET: Nothing Special Days] [genben@usa.net] ET: Untitled poem for now(poem) [Seth Fulmer ] Re: [ET: Nothing Special Days] [shivergirl ] ET: Myself in him [JADED022@aol.com] ET: i am no mermaid [Naomi Vaughn ] ET: It Is Not! [DPS8315@aol.com] ET: ~april love part two~ [shivergirl ] ET: ~april love part three~ [shivergirl ] ET: james is THE man :) [shivergirl ] ET: i had a dream last night [kara garbe ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 1 Feb 2000 06:57:24 EST From: DPS8315@aol.com Subject: ET: Post with Meaning AS IF MY OTHER ONES AREN'T!ugh. First of all, is there a place out there...that thing called the INTRE-net where they've got all our old digests? Does anyone have them all? maybe mike does...long time no see bud, and when's that Jewel video supposed to be on? I WANNA TAPE IT!:) Second- Naomi, I *didn't* complain about your rhyme. I should have. lol Third - Niki- thanksa much for redoing that poem :) I'll take it to school today and I'm going to use the image to write something of my own Four - DONE! Yes! Only 6:55! lol, y'all can check out the crit page.. :) These things said, i've got to go to school :( ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 1 Feb 2000 09:03:28 -0500 (Eastern Standard Time) From: kara garbe Subject: Re: ET: Post with Meaning > First of all, is there a place out there...that thing called the INTRE-net > where they've got all our old digests? Does anyone have them all? james and all -- (www.?)smoe.org archives EVERYTHING... so everyone now can go back and see all the horrible things i posted two years ago! :) kara ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ "Let me die trying to tell you one word that might matter in a life of words that wound" -Cathryn Hankla ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 1 Feb 2000 13:25:03 EST From: JADED022@aol.com Subject: ET: Nothing Special Days Nothing Special Days The sun is shining rather bright today... More so than it ever has For no particular reason it seems. Then I ran into an old friend. Though we had grown older and farther apart over time, Her eyes had a certain sparkle Her smile was careless And I could feel her heart was as young as the day we first met And then... I realized just why the sun was shining. ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 1 Feb 2000 14:14:07 EST From: JonBoy911@aol.com Subject: ET: Chillin on a "sick" day In a message dated 02/01/2000 4:23:41 AM Pacific Standard Time, DPS8315@aol.com writes: << These things said, i've got to go to school :( >> Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't have school yesterday for some reason, and I was terribly ill Friday so I stayed home. But, this also means I was sick during the super bowl where my rams were playin, so no super bowl party for me. And today I only had one class, so I thought it was best to just stay home and rest. I've got my flu like symptoms done to just a sore throat, so we are very happy. I just saw "Dark City" anyone see this? Really cool movie. The organic way the buildings grow is just SO awesome!!! I highly reccommend seeing "Dark City" "The 13th Floor" and "The Matrix" all in a row. And try to do it in that order. It will make you question reality. :) Namaste, Jon ------------------------------ Date: 1 Feb 00 16:15:56 EST From: genben@usa.net Subject: Re: [ET: Nothing Special Days] JADED022@aol.com wrote: > Nothing Special Days first of all, this title is GREAT! > And I could feel her heart > was as young as the day we first met > And then... > I realized just why the sun was shining. I really like this. i have felt this way upon seeing old friends before. i'm with you here 100%. thanks for making my sun shine a little brighter ;) ____________________________________________________________________ Get free email and a permanent address at http://www.netaddress.com/?N=1 ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 1 Feb 2000 16:35:47 -0500 (EST) From: Seth Fulmer Subject: ET: Untitled poem for now(poem) Hey there everyone :) I have GREAT news!(or so I consider) I actually got the flute yesteday(Monday) :) I was like saying the whole way back to Drexel "Seth, you're nuts!" cuz I walked in, bought the flute, and walked out, in less than 10 minutes. When I got home I couldn't get the darn thing to make any notes other than wind noises, but I asked some friends and got it to make tones and like now I'm practicing all the time! I am sooo surprised :) In 4th grade I had a flute but my parents were renting it and I never practiced and so they returned it. Anyhow, like the one day I was daydreaming of myself as this powerful medieval lord who was also a wizard and a minstrel/bard, and I walked with my wife on my one side and a real wizard on the other side, and I had a flute hanging from my belt. I was thinking about that today and how part of me is afraid I am re-learning the flute to "best" a girl(I'm not but I'm afraid that I am)...This girl I know plays the bassoon and thinks she's God's gift to musicians so I sorta wrote this, kinda blabbing my feelings into a poem, and using it as an ego boost hehe :) I don't really have any title, but if you have a suggestion, I'm open to it as well as comments, questions, and flames alike in private. Well if you don't want any more of my poems, let me know and I'll take you off. Take cares and Have an Excellent Day!! :o) -Seth ============================ Untitled by Seth D. Fulmer 2/1/00 Boredom races through my veins An ounce of curiosity peeks on in A flute, a girl, a magic spell A wizard at my side, a sword at my belt I walk down the street, my nose in the air I play my flute, and everybody cheers A girl from the crowd yells "You Suck, Get Out!" So I send her to hell, to where she belongs. She's dating another guy, much uglier than I She says he makes her happy, much more than can I Dancing and laughing and singing with him and playing her little bassoon like she was in heaven God I do hate her, just the same I do love the sound of her voice and the way that she walks She really knows how to pierce a guy's heart I shouldn't worry about her, but literature, music, and art An angel at my side, and some swords on my tongue flicking in and out, lashing out at everyone It snowed the other day, rained, then iced over It was so beautiful at night to walk on the snowwalk The wind, it whispered in my ear, nice and gently "You will find her one day, yes indeed I know you will" I don't believe it, maybe I do, maybe I just don't know but for now that girl in the crowd will remain in Hell ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 01 Feb 2000 18:13:48 -0500 From: shivergirl Subject: Re: [ET: Nothing Special Days] > first of all, this title is GREAT! i agree with ben! it rocks jade! :) > > > > And I could feel her heart > > was as young as the day we first met > > And then... > > I realized just why the sun was shining. > > I really like this. i have felt this way upon seeing old friends before. i'm > with you here 100%. thanks for making my sun shine a little brighter ;) me too, even though it's still too freakin' cold!! ;)tara ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 1 Feb 2000 18:21:48 EST From: JADED022@aol.com Subject: ET: Myself in him I wrote this one for Zac...(Another EDA) We got into a fight, and well...When you put blame aside. You realize you weren't THAT mad in the first place. ~Jade~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Myself in Him I see so much of myself in him He doesn't realize how wonderful he is to me I try to understand him, As frustrated as I get But he wants to take on the world Ending up overwhelmed. His loving eyes then clouded with self doubt Desertion of all hope But sometimes..... He sings aloud when he thinks no one is listening... And it's beautiful. ------------------------------ Date: 1 Feb 00 19:39:17 CST From: Naomi Vaughn Subject: ET: i am no mermaid bloody sun wow, well, this is the most i've written in a long time. all from laaaaaaate last night... so, yeah. well i hope you all are lovely... love nai ~the side-tracked, out-of-whack, love-my-quack, blame-it-all-the-hell-on-me, angel~ - --- bloody sun glimmers behind razor clouds cutting deep from way up there into the minds of unsuspecting dreamers- and you seek safety in daylight? secrets revealed by bright prying fingers, bleeding rays- they drag you down then hold you up for all to see. - -- my gatekeeper, he watches over me he advises me comforts me seeks advice & comfort *from* me he tells me my lovely creature has moon blindness and can't see the light he thinks me a goddess a vision a blessing my gatekeeper tells me, the stupor's frying his mind. - -- no, i didn't say good bye. and, no, i didn't look back, when you told me, to go on without you. but i never imagined you'd fall so far behind. - -- i can only pray, someday, i'll see what color the sky & sun & moon & stars, shine, in your world, in your dreams, behind those eyes i adore. - -- oh sweetie you fake it so well i can hardly believe- you're so good i can barely see the connecting dots behind your dazzling bullshit. - -- I loved you I fell in that moment all voices screamed "STOP!!"--it's then that i let go and fell. - -- your eyes i saw when all else escaped me when colors and lines and sounds blurred it was your hovering form your shimmering sight that shined through the fog. - -- i realize it's horrible cliche for me to even say I love you- I know it's highly overdone for me to tell you I want you to stay, today&always- & anyone else would award me still, or commend for effort- but, you... you'd just see right through it. "If I knew better... I wouldn't change a thing" ~Train, "Swaying" ____________________________________________________________________ Get your own FREE, personal Netscape WebMail account today at http://webmail.netscape.com. ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 1 Feb 2000 20:57:17 EST From: DPS8315@aol.com Subject: ET: It Is Not! More and More from me, I'm just bundles of overflowing and outpouring... a post, something I wrote last night, especially looking for comments on it... LMK WYT {What You Think, new one from me lol} - -James _____ You wake up hung over and hungry Your head is pounding And the doorbell is ringing at the finger of some little oriental boy with food you don't like, much less order- Tuesday evening isn't any warmer Than your alarm was early Monday morning, Decades and 12 feet from Where you are now - -sweating, smelly, with more on the way, sprawled out on a cold bathroom floor you only wish was carpeted. The bedroom and nighty-nite Are beckoning again, but you'll fall asleep or pass out Before you make it there Tie for a shower if you though you wouldn't drown In the pain of whatever you'd become - -you hate your life and where you are and who you've been: decades of romance short of your years of predictable ruined dependency; there's nothing to put in your Great American Novel, and what say you now? you sleep. Jan.31.00 ______ ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 01 Feb 2000 21:17:15 -0500 From: shivergirl Subject: ET: ~april love part two~ ~ ~ ~ it would have been two years today. i remember the first time i called you "bastard." the day we watched ~love story.~ you were so hurt. i had been called "bitch" before. just not by you. ~ ~ ~ and now i have called you bastard across time and telephone lines, in control of negative karma, unafraid of arrest or censure anymore. just aware you're not on my side, my mind, my body, like you used to be. so i occasionally have to feel your ghost passing through, squeezing my heart black and blue; the blood just a messy remnant of you that my veins still remember. ~ ~ ~ if i find her, i won't let you. for you would only steal her soul again, making me obsolete, lost as a blade of grass that cannot grow or last, without a sense of self. ~ ~ ~ i grieve for you but you're not dead. i think of you but i don't want you in my head--when my bed is barren, and full of our make-believe children crying--sick of trying to make you appear human. ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 01 Feb 2000 21:42:58 -0500 From: shivergirl Subject: ET: ~april love part three~ ~ ~ ~ meet me in the next life. i'll guard your ashes. how do you burn ashes? ~ ~ ~ i try to write your eulogy, but rhett butler keeps falling in the grass enticingly. and although you have left your shell and me behind, i am not living in india. ~ ~ ~ the fire created me; it leaps in my hair, but it will not kill me. at first i wanted to dive in and confirm i had no identity. i wanted to stall time, write the chapter of Us all by myself--as if that would give me a voice. ~ ~ ~ we could have another intimate dinner, where i try to impress you with my sexy lace top and complete self-assurance (disguising desperation), dripping in sarcasm. and i could accept your eternity pin (this time gracefully), looking at its wimpy size, this pathetic token of all we've meant to each other, thinking thoughts like: it's the thought that counts (in place of tact and decency). and then we could go back to your house. ( after your parents are asleep in bed, of course.) and we could sit awkwardly in front of the fake warm fireplace, trying silently to deny our hormones are a perfect match. and i could seductively pull you on top of my stretched-out body, trying to kiss the love back into your cold heart, searching for the feeling you once had for me, and finally acquiesce, choosing to equate sexual attraction with genuine caring. OR we could meet at charlie's doughnut (song) shop, and once again, i wouldn't be wearing my ring, realizing you were real when you said you felt no steam, so why bother blowing--you'd only be wasting your oh-so-precious breath (in the end). ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 01 Feb 2000 22:30:10 -0500 From: shivergirl Subject: ET: james is THE man :) whatta man is our james :) (cuse me, sister is listnie to en vogue..) just want to publicy profusely extatikly show my appreciation for all the kritiques... how do you do homework, poh-etry, critiquing and like, the girlfriend thing, in 24-hour days?? ;) and i don't just print out your responses, i save em too!!! in their own lil folder--it's called SESSIONS' CRITIQUES!!!!! (well, with a few other angelic feedbacks i get *hi kara, niki, naomi, ben...*) now.... let's return the favour! > _______ > and it's all like "fuck.this" beautiful.specially.with.the.fucked.up.punctuation.and.all(thanX for loaning it out, james :) > because you know there's > the bigger and better of everything out there but is there? > -and this is.not.good, prefer the period meself > not very goo at all / because no one likes > falling forever and, and, waking up at 3:17am > to have to fall asleep > on the job or in-your-life, > trapped in the knowing lovely > that this *isn't* what we asked for; > today's busted out light bulbs i always like hyphens; dunno whynice allit > stopped lighting up tomorrow/yesterday, kewl > and you know that you're stuck with this forever- > at least until you change it, > rise up and cry out > I!Want!More! 8exclamation marks rule8 > scream it over and over again > at everyone who ever dared > to question the way you live your life- > I!Want!More! nice repetitionnice repetition > ______ > fare all ye well in all ye pursuits right back atcha babe :)tara ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 1 Feb 2000 22:59:06 -0500 (Eastern Standard Time) From: kara garbe Subject: ET: i had a dream last night hey all. this is my first post in a little bit. (feels like forever, but probably was only a couple days) anyway, if anyone has time to critique this for me by wednesday night, i'd greatly appreciate it, because i'm going to be turning it in to my poetry class on thursday morning, and i'd really like to have some feedback ahead of time and do a bit of revision on it. also, i have the feeling that i got the line "death beyond dying" from somewhere else, can anyone place it for me? must be one of those phrases that seeps its way into the subconscious. thanks! kara (hi james, naomi, tara, ben.... sorry i've been so slack, i'll write when things are less crazy...) Death Eternal I had a dream last night about what it is to die. I lay on my back, astounded by nameless waves, an opening, a release but the face that I wanted to be looking at was not there, and I whispered up to another, "Tell him-- tell him that it is just light, and light, brilliance beyond brilliance." But this world could only hold me for so long. Below me, the bed melted into a drain. All I had to do was let myself be washed into it. And so I let go, falling and falling until I was surrounded by gaunt faces, wailing flesh I cringed away from but could not avoid, had to touch. All of us, pinched into a swimming pool, walls too high to climb free of, the surface oily black and impossible to see beneath. I held my breath, kicked legs too long weakened from the absence of water, prayed that my swimming ability back on earth would be enough to sustain me now, through this fear that should have been shed, that had promised to shed itself. The inevitability of it all cannot be forgotten. Now, dead, what is there to fear? What death might exist beyond death itself? The nature of humanity is this: we turn on each other. Even in death, this aspect cannot be lost; all we can lose is the promise of the immortal soul and god, waiting for panic to set in waiting for us to kill each other, again, and again, death beyond dying. ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #40 *********************************