From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #34 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Thursday, January 27 2000 Volume 03 : Number 034 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: benbenbenbenben ["The Phoenix Princessa" ] ET: d.i.l.a.t.e ["The Phoenix Princessa" ] ET: translation.. ["The Phoenix Princessa" ] ET: one last one. for now ["The Phoenix Princessa" ] Re: [ET: benbenbenbenben] [genben@usa.net] ET: ~sizesshapescolourssmells~ (or found poh-etry) [shivergirl ] Re: ET: winter fuchsia [shivergirl ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 26 Jan 2000 21:16:48 -0800 From: "The Phoenix Princessa" Subject: ET: benbenbenbenben BEN!!!! YAY!!!! YOU'RE STILL HERE!!!! - -- sam "my dad got a swing set thats like 30 ft tall. he's crazy you know. he's always wanted one" -royanne get your free gURLmAIL at http://www.gURLmAIL.com ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 26 Jan 2000 21:21:58 -0800 From: "The Phoenix Princessa" Subject: ET: d.i.l.a.t.e don't remember if i ever sent this one. * he says that hardcore shit i like that hardcore shit when the beat's past the beating and your eardrums are the speakers and your pulse are all the feet tromping on your skin hardcore like the music like the smoke you inhale like the beer and like the crack and like the girls in the bathroom better than doing nothing when you're doing everything manipulate your bloodstream just like you dehydrate my mouth lick the beads of sweat off your lips next time you want to have a handful think of me as flesh and not a beanbag and remember what you had flushed down the drain for 250 bucks next time you think you can screw her spur of the moment * clean pine scented lotion soft to be soft lavendar spray so i can float away minty gel so it stays that way my rings slip around on my fingers cause my fingers are cold and the silver feels so big though they're tiny "you have beautiful hands" i'm told clean clean clean i do this and that to try to get clean purge my senses of a dull pain within evaporate to mists what i was drowning in everytime is a new beginning a fresh start and a healed up heart as if it was never broken at all and i feel so small clothes hanging off me i like it that way it makes me feel safe and so clean clean clean clean - --- "life used to be lifelike now it's more like showbiz i wake up in the night and i don't know where the bathroom is and i don't know what town i'm in or what sky i'm under i wake up in the darkness and i don't have the will anymore to wonder" -ani difranco- get your free gURLmAIL at http://www.gURLmAIL.com ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 26 Jan 2000 21:22:55 -0800 From: "The Phoenix Princessa" Subject: ET: translation.. and then i later redid one of those "poems" and added... sorry james if you don't like rhyme but sometimes it just happens * Rebreathe one scent so i can float away a firm hold so it stays that way shrinking cause i feel so cold "you have beautiful hands" i'm told purge my senses of a dull pain within evaporate to mists what i was drowning in everytime is a new beginning a fresh start and a healed up heart as if it was never broken at all and i feel so small clothes hanging off me i like it that way cause it feels like a safe release i say, it's all good, moving on, each is a new beginning having that crowded sensation of wild and crazy noise and fun has let me become free but once in awhile i have to find the other half, cause who am i there's many sides to me the woman in the red dress the girl whose face and arms are a dripping mess time to uncover love and care comfort in a group place or time is something i want to remain mine but it's scattered everywhere just breathe breathe it ought to be so much easier to be someone wanting more knocked to a dusty floor and standing to her feet they say a phoenix lives from ash fire blue flames rises from the crash and she can breathe again cleaning the smoke from her eyes clears her mind and cuts the ties and goes on to begin all those dreams are never quite what they seem changes become more real but they can remain a mixture of joy and pain and surpassing the surreal * (let go) imaginary pain i can't stand telling people my imaginary pain because they flinch and get sad and then i hurt again i need to let myself be happy now give away my baby blue dress cast away those ideas turning to a mental blood mess and i wonder if i'm real if i just fake to feel then i churn in the rain of imaginary pain with nothing bad to blame it on no one sees if something's wrong think it's about time i uncovered that shame i think it's about time we had a change no more guilt being so afraid that i won't let myself let go of that very real imaginary pain - -i wanted to be a girl who feels - -i wanted to be happy - -but i didn't want to stop - -i knew i could but could i really? - -will i let myself give it up? - -i didn't want to be stuck in an image - -but i shifted and got stuck anyway throw out the crazed pain appeal love and indulgence are also real i don't want to be a halfway star i don't want to go too far i don't want to give up too soon i don't want to be foolish saying i need love but i have so much and when i'm alone i'm so desperately lonely but i'm content, really i'm just so discontent so insecure in myself but down below i think i must love me let go let go let go it's all about control let go let go let go i will not be invisible but how can i know be loved for being me love me for me it's not impossible it's needed and i do i do do do i don't don't but i will i have scared confused and don't know why reasons without reasons hating the idea of being just one thing needing a lot of care not wanting to exaggerate the good or the bad wanting help wanting to hide love love love love love i can give up this strangling attachment to real or imaginary pain and let myself be happy again be hopeful be real let myself feel without whatever the shallow or the dramatic or the deep or the silly need or attraction to or desire for or attention-getting love-me-want-me-love-myself pain imaginary pain validate myself but not dwell into self pity make up some story but whatever the reasons for whatever i say and feel, there are reasons a balance a love escape relief attachment to people to ideas a sick longing for sickness but a deeper longing for joy not intending anything permanent in the section of hurt just wanting to see to feel to know to experience but hating it all along i can give up and indulge in baths and kisses and good things and be happy and be positive and let myself be sad and not swarm in self pity real or imaginary and not get lodged in the mud of it all and not do those irrational spurofthemoment idiotic things be careful, be loving feel and be real and let go - --- "I search your profile for a translation I study the conversation like a map Cause I know there is strength in the difference between us And I know there is comfort where we overlap" -ani difranco- get your free gURLmAIL at http://www.gURLmAIL.com ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 26 Jan 2000 21:24:37 -0800 From: "The Phoenix Princessa" Subject: ET: one last one. for now laura inky hair a bowl fit to frame her said "i've never seen someone with eyes as big and blue as yours" it's as if crater lake was all filled in from their corners bluebells pour sometimes a red hot stain trickles down her face more than outrage she can't explain dear woman strength in arms when she wants to love you she'll laugh you from all that harm she gets so down but it's all hid away a sorrow night only sees outplay her blues she tires of those blues she can dance them, sing them, too, she doesn't think that way she says i'd never live without you dear i'll always want you close and near letters and phone calls keep me going on i haven't seen you in so long she's off somewhere in her car rocketing corners, not going far she's trying so hard to drive all up into those stars up the mountainside says thank god winter's finally here i thought i was freezing all this year but among all that snow i can be free and live out my plans, party i don't know how long it's been that i've heard from the blue eyed beauty queen she never believes in what we've seen but i know deep down she knows it's true that in all that flowing blue she's more worth wanting than any wasted faded waiflike dream i know she has her snowboard boy he takes up all her time and joy i only hope he doesn't make her sad her icy tears should all be had i miss her talks and laughter's heat we have our busy lives, our seperate streets it's only to be known, it's true but every so often i think of that blue bluebells overspilling the rocket girl so far gone but found in her overwhirl - --- "when i say you sucked my brains out the english translation is i am in love with you and it is no fun... and my hands grope for the light and my hands grope for my head the world is my oyster you know the road is my home and i know that i'm better, i'm better off alone" -ani difranco- get your free gURLmAIL at http://www.gURLmAIL.com ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2000 04:47:19 -0800 (PST) From: Jeremy H Subject: ET: Cool poetry and art site. Hey EDA's, My friend sent me the URL of this cool poetry and art site........its amazing: http://www.eurekanet.com/~zachwise/index.html So there ya go! Jeremy :) **The Scorpion, Peace Loving, and Kind & Gentle Angel!** My ICQ number is 42872979. The Realm of the Scorpio: http://www.geocities.com/scorpius_18 Jewel and Her Blue Guitar: http://www.geocities.com/jkblueguitar Come and hand out at: http://www.7threalm.com/tavern - Im Belgarion! "No one likes a loud mouth show off" - ME! _______________________________________________________ Get 100% FREE Internet Access powered by Excite Visit http://freeworld.excite.com ------------------------------ Date: 27 Jan 00 11:02:00 EST From: genben@usa.net Subject: Re: [ET: benbenbenbenben] > BEN!!!! YAY!!!! YOU'RE STILL HERE!!!! > -- > sam what, you think i could live without you, sam? i dedicate this one to you, my dear. deep beats pour into my ears like silver pouring down ice melting and divulging the secret passions underlying it all the satin voices play games with my eardrums keys gliding over warming me like a fireplace or the glowing eyes of a lover powder blows in the wind snowy dreams come true as i stare out at the world and hear the truth ____________________________________________________________________ Get free email and a permanent address at http://www.netaddress.com/?N=1 ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2000 11:26:39 -0500 From: shivergirl Subject: ET: ~sizesshapescolourssmells~ (or found poh-etry) + i have tried to make love to you you were sunburned you just laid there screwing the sheets would you prefer me on my back or kneeling? + arbitrary blindness for a charity-case split-ends you just can't cut or mend i send sympathy for the old devil because he's sorry he hurt other people although he wouldn't alter his beliefs perhaps he would do things somehow differently oh my hard-line conservative jellyfish thief missionary man in the sand you know so well where you're going after you die can you come back and slum with us on your days off? + hitting delete/when i'm beat/logging off/ after we meet/forgetting to backspace/ oh how sweet + regrets he's never met he laid a few but they're just invisible debt (so they don't count) but then again they're far too few to even mention + you come from strife yet you make my life one huge smiley-face with your proven ability to unite our family branches and you conceal your feelings so we can rely on you keeping your head when we have all gone squawking clucking gawking laying pain again + in an origami mind you folded your thoughts and passed them like notes back and forth across history lessons my hands were waiting you wrote about flowers collating bending my ideal's dreams from parchment profound oozing love haikus + a faraway world that is all mine made up of dreams that are lucid and a heart that knows no time except new formations of stars + my personality is far too implosive to be presented honestly to the outside world unheeding the wall of pretense i build a passage and crawl from my crib to the entrance as she gallivants and bestows her kisses i cease to become a silent hostage i want her to witness what it's like to feel pompous from the inside this time it's my turn to be on the outside + seven dollars an hour just for the privilege of hearing that i don't exist so i'm takin this brain re-decorating the boring decor again pink walls and turquoise halls a bigger cell with a faint lingering alcohol smell in control of shrinkage head honcho of the head space frontal lobe special of the day anyone? + ~psychic cosmic comprehension~ a game of catch-up between time zones half-hinted-at plans sent express i look for your correspondence in a metaphorical kiss but when i close my eyes it makes no difference on the ceiling our lives begin almost detected yet again we weave words out of a twinned town figuring out when and where the chorus begins after so many lonely verses filled with transitional figures substitutes for the real thing we awaken to our very own morning once again i've gained a certain love song understanding + ------------------------------ Date: 27 Jan 00 11:45:50 EST From: genben@usa.net Subject: Re: [ET: under the floodlights...] > Years ago, > when man began > to stamp it out, did > the darkness, too, feel this > forsaken? > > > 1.24.00 > kara~garbe > okay, this is amazing. i have been inspired to do two things. 1) here's two poems - one prosaic, one not darkness is important. we take it for granted. when was the last time you listened to the night? there are sounds in the dark that the day hasn't even imagined yet. the shy man comes out at night. too often we fear darkness as though it will hurt us, but in reality it is friendly. it helps us conduct our business without interference. the day may be cordial, but the night simply watches, staring out at us without eyes. watch, you'll see. there is nothing to fear except the coming of morning... - --------- what will swallow me if there is no dark? how can i disappear if i am not cloaked in shadow? what will become of me as light makes me honest? how long will it be until i don't have to squint? what is a day if there is no dark night? how is beauty with no moon? what will become of the magus as day becomes supreme ruler? how can dark be preserved? can peace happen in the light? 2) here's the lyrics to 'Darkness, Darkness' by Jesse Colin Young Darkness, darkness be my pillow take my hand and let me sleep in the coolness of your shadow in the silence of your deep Darkness, darkness hide the yearning for the things that cannot be keep my mind from constant turning toward the things i cannot see Darkness, darkness long and lonesome is the day that brings me here i have felt the edge of silence i have known the depths of fear Darkness, darkness be my blanket cover me with endless night take away the pain of knowing fill the emptiness of right now - -this is one of my all time favorite songs. darkness is important. we take it for granted. when was the last time you listened to the night? there are sounds in the dark that the day hasn't even imagined yet. the shy man comes out at night. too often we fear darkness as though it will hurt us, but in reality it is friendly. it helps us conduct our business without interference. the day may be cordial, but the night simply watches, staring out at us without eyes. watch, you'll see. there is nothing to fear except the coming of morning... ____________________________________________________________________ Get free email and a permanent address at http://www.netaddress.com/?N=1 ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2000 12:03:19 -0500 (Eastern Standard Time) From: kara garbe Subject: ET: winter fuchsia hey guys... this is a really beautiful poem that just came out in a literary journal i work on. i love it and wanted to share it with all of you. have a beautiful day. ~kara~ Winter Fuchsia, West of Ireland by Eamon Grennan Leafless, it’s still shelter to dunnock, blackbird, robin, and even the redwing who visited this morning to mine for worms in the green ungrowing grass made a hedge of it against the racketing weather and squinnied out, both flanks a blaze of rust, striped head and cheeks a stark glow inside stripped branches. Is that why I’m here, too, to find what shelter there is in fundamentals, how little may be needed? Flayed as it is, this hedge seems an abstract of itself, as the sycamores are, the ash trees and mountain ash, that—naked, a far cry from the consoling show of berry and leaf—simply say how they are, what storms they can stand up to without buckling. ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2000 12:54:41 -0500 From: shivergirl Subject: Re: ET: winter fuchsia kara garbe wrote: > hey guys... this is a really beautiful poem that just came out in a > literary journal i work on. i love it and wanted to share it with > all of you. have a beautiful day. > ~kara~ what's the journal called, kara-kara? :)any of your stuff goin into it? thanX again, from the (not yet) swedish girl ;) > > > Winter Fuchsia, West of Ireland > by Eamon Grennan beautiful title, do you know the guy? > ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #34 *********************************