From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #29 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Sunday, January 23 2000 Volume 03 : Number 029 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: recent fragments [kara garbe ] ET: Poem ["Claudia" ] ET: more from me ["Damn Sexy Biiiitch" ] ET: Let Me Drown [Annie ] ET: (no subject) [DPS8315@aol.com] ET: Angelfood winners [JewelAng@aol.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2000 01:10:22 -0500 (Eastern Standard Time) From: kara garbe Subject: ET: recent fragments *looking for salvation through writing* the sexual revolution stops here, with my life - something measured across pauses between intimacy. *~*~* i've never kissed someone with a pierced tongue before. *~*~* i am just someone who's not sure if she really wants things to be this way; things to be this alone. *~*~* me - a frog half-kicking across soiled sheets and you - a turtle shell winding its way over and around its lost interior, me. *~*~* Your diamond ring could melt into countless yellow rose petals, one for every man you sipped, inhaling bullets like butterflies. *~*~* your fingers, extended reaching skyward toward the promise of happiness that drifts just beyond your reach, smiling in silver because it is flying free, leaving you earthbound. *~*~* Sleepless in Moscow You fall asleep at night praying that this night won't be your last. Explosions are elsewhere (but not so far away) in the city, reminders that midnight is the best time to catch lovers in bed, to destroy their passion with the crippling heat of nuclear love. ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2000 14:08:20 +0100 From: "Claudia" Subject: ET: Poem It slips inside my soul like a snake and brings darkness in my heart. A cold feeling that freezes my peace a crazy anger that slowly burns my freedom. No challenge No competition just a threat to my happiness. It makes me feel cold and powerless. I need to be held. Just a hug can melt this snow just a kiss can stop this rain. I love you Steve ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2000 12:39:08 -0800 From: "Damn Sexy Biiiitch" Subject: ET: more from me wanting those bony boy arms (somehow they are always so strong) around me again... those thin fingers that held my hands when i was lonely and touched me to sleep (under your bright colors you were so caring) and that sultry look which then collapsed into a smile and melted into a laugh (so funny in sound) that hold which understood my need to feel another person against me (you were so aware) i wish for you here (looking for something i lost, realizing it's you that's lacking) i miss you now * four girls walk the drag arms wound tightly to knot together their bodies posing a banner of fashion flame and strength held around the bareness of exposure f o u r call them women but they have not yet been stricken and struck down to shatter and smoulder on the floor of their society take it back though they shatter and smoulder frequently- crazy spirits like pale wine revive and lush into each other a power that being called women may need to lack- yet they are women four starlets love and little cracks pouring through their pores one a pretty princess outlined in black smudged arond her eyes blazing in borrowed clothing covering her tears with giddy words one a magic nymph rattled and shaken but bold throughout kissing the 3 gently and turning her quietness into a surprising power as she grins slyly and vows to stand by them one a nina fairy hovering above the rest textured and bright to hide the anguish within loved so deeply that she fears she is not so exotic in mind and body that she too often is mistook and fears and speaks her mind and she is the flame burning among them one a fragile fish who thinks her image may contradict reality whose dark nails merge with ink-smeared fingers whose passions remain nearly untouched blending herself with the 3 and for once, feeling really free and so alone f o u r angels, cresting their hopes with an unwavered strength, wrapping the others caring only about living wanting more than survival crossing their lines flashing and flickering overshadowing tears with laughter magnetizing stares from all around and seeing only three other girls women in shared wardrobes with pouty lips with sultry walks arms for each other * she thinks no one is looking anymore, that she doesn't have the vibe but i saw her light up when she was told that she electrified looks she has forgotten now, sits comfortable and does a puzzle she isn't looking, so she found someone to make her glow, but i think she could use the attention once in awhile, - -because when she brightened, a life in her was revealed, for an instant before she cast it off and moved past it with a sidesmile. * contrast stitching contrasting her bluejeans with the beds she sits on and closes her eyes because it's splitting her head tasting the same thing in her mouth dead lead and dread day after day and she doesn't know why but that comes out turns out her inside with a gag and a twist and she changes her shirt so she can ease into the light in her head and you know angel i'm getting worried when all you can see is the dark and the sink down the hall begging keep your throat untouched does nothing really, nothing really matters at all holding her sides around herself she keeps moving down till soon as you know it she's ripped torn and bleeding well what when then it's too late all the fear and inner hate cause she wants touches but she gets touchy when you try say you love her but she hits since she's afraid of what you say but she'll take the talk on any othe topic say you love her but she hits so you give in and then forget but she did want you to care don't you know she's aching but the topic was hot so they all are unaware and say she's a wild ride burning to hide yearning that open skin lets you in and angel i'm afraid for you disappearing from the picture frame vanished into your world of pain leaving from my view contrasting your needs with laughter and beads and jelly bracelets but you know if you don't stop it'll just go and go and go and fall, then, breaking in the bile that's vile my fairy nina girl crashing in that broken around-around-around circle you hurl and fade and shine brightly despite the night times but you go and where i don't know why you're by yourself and so i guess the show is over now - --- "I don't believe you're leaving cause me and Charles Manson like the same ice cream I think it's that girl and I think there're pieces of me you've never seen maybe she's just pieces of me you've never seen well all the world is all I am the black of the blackest ocean and that tear in your hand all the world is danglin' ...danglin'...danglin' for me darlin' you don't know the power that you have with that tear in your hand" - -tori amos get your free gURLmAIL at http://www.gURLmAIL.com ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2000 20:11:35 -0500 From: Annie Subject: ET: Let Me Drown Abandoned Topsy-turvy My world on the wire Alone with myself Confronting the liar Where did the whispers go? Only shouting in my brain Maternal instincts tapped dry I'd much prefer the mundane Sometimes I feel like a Motherless child And I'm a long way from home ~~~~~ Clang clang The striking of a chord The angelic eyes that hit a little too close to home If home is where the heart is Did that leave her heart in the river Where it broke? My prince... To find my Golden One... My Angel... I would swallow the sea. I would move mountains with words. I would crucify my lies for a Savior to be lost in the arms of His perfection. I would rise above this tattered earth With wings of smoke, my buried dead, and the strangled roots of everything left unsaid. Can you fathom it? I live for the challenge. Did you expect it? I could sing for the shyest mourning dove. She empties herself out Her body, a vessel, a pitcher, spitting out the secrets of her mind and heart ripe and waning She has waited so long For a confidante. ~~~~~ Dear Sir, Your kindness is too much. I could never repay the hope you have given. You understand too much. I could never comprehend how quickly I trust you. Maybe some things are meant to be. Maybe my coming here was no accident Maybe I murdered Fate, Or maybe I am Fate. I feel my words on you are not wasted. You value them as I do. There is nothing greater than language And so I succumb Did you know you were the perfect beginning for me? Angels never do know they are beautiful My hands are dirty They don't build churches So why do you open up to me? Madamoiselle Butterfly Spread her wings Lickety-split! All her secret trinkets Spilled out and clattered on the floor Shattered soundlessly, slowly I am a black bird I stand out against the sinless Was that how you found me? Signed with devotion, Madamoiselle Butterfly I wanted to say all those things at once But somehow they could not rush through the emergency exit ~~~~~ Sometimes the realization of accompaniment is enough and taciturn moments pass through Open Close The rooms in my heart You are my reality and for now my sweet simplicity Tide breaks on my sandy fingers I've been needing shelter all my life The storm rages on Is this the correct harbor? Is there safety in being washed up on your shore? Your hands are so full I can feel the whole of my sum placed within them Without being a burden I am not a burden to you What a sweet comprehension That I can be my insane self Without burdening him Without worrying him Silence doesn't always mean there's something wrong If I fondle the scissors For a way out (seeking the warmth of my blood) All you need say is "Princess, I understand," or "Rapunzel, I believe in you." Did you ask perfection of me? No. I am enough. In being a feather, I am enough. I tumble through the breeze On the back of you (my wind) and I feel stripped of notions to make me swim ~~~~~ Yielding and silent She pays the rest no heed Full is not nearly so heavy as empty Her eyelashes paint a place for the dreams as though heavy-willed stubborn-toothed dogs demanded their loyalty back You sing without a voice I must have discovered my coral reef to fill my ocean's void The womanchild is still breathing just enough to be alive and awake but not daring to frighten away this decency Her age is indeterminable Her personality insermountable She seems clever somehow Perhaps intelligence has a way of being seen ~~~~~ In this game of cat and mouse I am the hollowed empty house Locked door and burnt out bulb Cobwebs strewn with nightly cold Can you see within the dark Strewn and bleak, frail and stark? I let only the accustomed in Perfection outside, I deal in sin But there is this longing, you see A longing for love that swells in me Informality among reckless mood Wild wants are softly subdued That I could be your only That you won't leave me lonely Dare I dream so far? To wish upon the dimmest star I see something I don't feel Sum me up on this winding reel? A comprehension by me flew And I hadn't the glory to misconstrue ~~~~~ - -Perception- She had tried her hand at formality But her trump card wasn't extraordinary Such stiffness eluded her Even her motions spoke as much This one before her Summons memories drowning Sputtering on what used to be Long ago mocking Laughter at the idle dream The dream that left home Before she made her wings She had seen the likes of her Somewhere before But had doubted People are people everywhere I fly Long woven nets That try to ensnare Madamoiselle Butterfly Even the metamorphosis was not enough for them They always suspected the miracle of murder Sometimes she was the same At least she understood that it needn't be that way Hope exists where it's wanted and Evil schemes cannot shatter nor tatter The strength of humanity ~~~~~ Give up? I hadn't realized I'd been considering that option Until suddenly his wanton lips had said so Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Let down your hair! I wanted to break the stone tower So immobile and forboding But it carried on Never I'll never give up Not until I'm strangled by despair But that does not threaten While you're around Slow! I'm giving away misconceptions! I wanted to stop this merry-go-round Leap off Tuck and roll Into the bushes And yet the dizziness was fulfilling somehow Fast! Let the earth fly away 'Neath our naked feet! ~~~~~ The innocence of it all It gives her away No woman could be so wide-eyed full Her eyes told everything Unwillingly She charades for the delight and enjoyment of no one The butterfly can see without antannae This woman before her A pawn in a masquerade It's so clear now She doesn't want anyone's salvation but her own So she dolls up Porcelain and china Seeming too frail But that was just it! Such fragility is impossible An oxymoron by the way her eyes sway She is a sham She wonders at why Why the darkness in your eye? I'll bet it's because You are afraid to cry ~~~~~ To dance To fade in the murmur of the rushes Dangled in night air To dance is to sing with the physical The apparition of care ~~~~~ Let me drown Let me lose myself in this Liquid void, my sacred abyss My chariot is composed of the sea's concerto The angry, graceful ballet A dream in me The violent, flaming glass of its surface is shattered by the steel wings of Reality ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2000 20:41:15 EST From: DPS8315@aol.com Subject: ET: (no subject) I'm a bit uninspired, far too busy with irrelevant occupation, and the rest of my time is consumed in waste, hence I only have through digest *27* done, but i'll have 28 up tomorrow night... hopefully, accompanied by a 'submission..' Critqueness Land of Inhibition ~kara, i'm looking for another semi-erotic effort lol and dont forget to propose the buddy system idea, or dont, lol, but i'm certainly not elaborating on it.. that'd be poetic martyrdom :) ~tara, what's wrong with bein 'corny' I AM NOT! ~everyone, posts. :-) James Pick up your comments! Critqueness Land of Inhibition ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2000 20:49:40 EST From: JewelAng@aol.com Subject: ET: Angelfood winners Hello Angels, Well after a VERY hard choice I have picked the winner for the angelfood contest. It was very hard pick. All of the quotes where so wonderful. Well here's the winning quote: "One thing I have learned from the one true love I lost, when two hearts are concerned, love is worth the pain it costs. We may have to go through hell to get to heaven, we may have to close our eyes to see the light. If we have to go through to get to heaven, hold me tight and heaven will be ours again tonight." - Clint Holmes The winner is VegasPixi@aol.com The quote that was a second place winning quote was: "There will come a day when we will look at oursleves and wonder who we are, but always remember to look upon yourself and see your soul, not the flesh standing before you." - Zaylin Fae I wish I could give out tapes to more then just the one winner, but alas I don't have that much money, lol. Here are some close winning quotes: "We are, each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another." "Theres so many words unspoken, yet so many things to say, But what can you do with a heart that's broken...and the pieces swept away" ~Would you stay~ (Adam) "The architect, by the relationships which he creates he wakes in us the profound echoes, he gives us the measure of an order which we feel to be in accordance with that of our world, he determines the very movements of our heart and our understanding; it is then that we experience the sense of beauty." - Le Corbusier "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." - Martin Luther King Jr Occasionally in life there are those moments of unutterable fulfillment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols called words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart. ~Martin Luther King Jr.~ "Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it." - -Robert A. Heinlein "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." Unknown Kick the darkness 'till it bleeds daylight "On the school bus, I'd try not to sit in profile next to anybody, because I was like, 'Oh my God, my nose is retarded!' And because my teeth weren't perfect, I never smiled." - -Jewel in regards to her poem "Pretty" (There's a pretty girl/ on the/ Face/ of the magazine/ And / all I can see/ are my dirty/ hands/ turning the page." Thanks for the time angels! Keep your ears open for the next angelfood contest! Visit my site: http://www.angelfire.com/yt/rebecca Rebecca ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #29 *********************************