From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #26 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Friday, January 21 2000 Volume 03 : Number 026 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: in process ["Ze Phoenix Princesa" ] ET: feature artist.. [JewelAng@aol.com] ET: ~an abscence of tucking in at night~ [shivergirl ] ET: ~applying to be a poh-et~ [shivergirl ] ET: Merely Freshmen [DPS8315@aol.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 19 Jan 2000 19:49:06 -0800 From: "Ze Phoenix Princesa" Subject: ET: in process this is... UNFINISHED. but a start :) btw rebecca - i like your razor princess poem, muy bien ** i get lonely in so much company i am alone with people around me winter sun warms my paled skin a thousand voices can't replicate yours again and stand firm imprinted on my memory wrap fingers around my churning mind bring me close tell me that you're mind remind me that i can be free in ecstasy ** like i said, unfinished. ** wooooo.... i have huge changes going on. i'm taking junior college part time. i'll be starting work. i'm saving up for a car, and i'm moving out as soon as possible. to move to a really, really rad city, with a good college, where i have quite a few friends, whom i miss horribly at this moment. :) love samara - --- Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. get your free gURLmAIL at http://www.gURLmAIL.com ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 20 Jan 2000 10:54:35 EST From: JewelAng@aol.com Subject: ET: feature artist.. Alright, I'm going to add a new section to my webpage. Feature artist. Right now I have a feature poet and two feature webpages. If you want to be be the feature artist send me some samples of your work. If you are already a feature POET or a feature WEBPAGE you cannot be the feature artist for this month. Thanks you guys. Rebecca http://www.angelfire.com/yt/rebecca ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 20 Jan 2000 14:35:11 -0500 From: shivergirl Subject: ET: ~an abscence of tucking in at night~ + how convenient that your seeing red happily coincided and was furiously projected onto my sleeping head i just can't comprehend your inferno you know and how can i be breaking a heart that hasn't been intact that's been long dead that's only playing at pretend in the end? + i tried to ask you how your test went but you said you didn't want to talk about it you'd rather punish my imperfections instead rejecting any offerings of apparent good will child-like attempts at appeasement when will you be soft again? can you be predictably normal for once? or is that simply too much for a daughter to ask? + your external treatments are nowhere near the pain or the problem your excessive pendulum shifts just loosen the internal threads of relationships and every time you bleed your body is a messenger of hurt for your tortured heart yet you find absolutely no comfort in that in being a hypochondriac and you do not respond well to instilled kindness (just easy-to-catch viruses) and you cannot find a prescription for self-stolen happiness when being irritable is so enjoyable i can see how squashing joyfulness helps + vast expanses of ice hide invisible blood clots underneath the surface + good kickers you've got them all down pat when you perceive me as an intimidating infuriating little smart-ass brat signaling hurt inside my chest with your sarcastic failed partnerships jests i wonder how much you regret your own choices + i'll make the end-play in the end-game, think out of the box for a change, place emphasis on spiritual atmospheric contentedness instead of waiting for your emotional decks, directed at my lack of experience for bein' young and open and not a nun (not wanting to fib to myself) mimic your mistakes, failed attempt at marriage and blame it all on someone else + abort this quest at being honest i can retry forgiveness in the morning perhaps there is nothing left to be lost when you're a dead-again convinced existentialist does imperfection still really exist if the headline and the pull quote don't exactly mesh i wonder if the theme is weary and tiring again drawing bored the scrawl in a self-contained sense + ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 20 Jan 2000 14:36:11 -0500 From: shivergirl Subject: ET: ~applying to be a poh-et~ + old issues are ubiquitous the given thread in my head indicates a subject best forgotten reflecting upon the volume of messages that being said i can't exactly manually damage the thoughts that precede the words preclude the need for complex descriptions when conversation is an outdated game of filtering + nirvana will never be more than the name of music group you never bothered to listen to + a night when my heart finds your image comprised of dots wanting to curl up with the familiar novels of melancholia that infest this house i ponder the inconceivable reflection of myself in a lake in heaven a dimension where mirrors and surfaces are of inverted importance + dichotomy of a diablo apropos of a missing halo strike out every name on your hit-list til it's just cooking chaos in a cauldron sleeping through your own self-induced coma of conceit you can't see the forest never mind the trees + you don't believe in god because you fear it is intellectually tacky inside your perception your domain has no visible boundaries just checks and patrols and moral roll calls brushing up against your particular version of the lord's prayer the power of a bigger being is still out there but you're not a peaceful soldier when you're drafted you just stumble til you're dead to the world and when the music stopped and you never even noticed + we've had a cancel for the next little while (maybe nine months?) and we think you'd definitely make a pretty (if young) substitute make it worth our while you see you suit our need for a therapist at the minute (you like lying around) and narcissism isn't a foreign concept or ten-cent euphemism you're already familiar with it (aren't you?) what do you say when can you start we begin sessions as soon as possible (how's tuesday for you?) until i find my original again there's absolutely no crime in using an understudy just say when + you could never be released on your own recognizance (you ain't got none) when it's all said and done you still go on bringing winter-weather depression leaving near-death experiencers in your wake + is the seven-year bad luck streak up yet? no, it's not nearly enough that your head is devoid of snakes you're still shattering my love (all over the fucking place) + when do you know that dates don't matter? when you only have one to remember + so jesus said i was simply allowed to make all this neat interesting stuff up in my head one slow-news day in heaven when people were actually behavin and so i conjured up some torture for this girl (it was all i could think of) where no one she knew even existed because they weren't scripted to be real either (just character references for angels) + what am i left with if i can't begin to be illuminated by more than just words on a page reading every single phrase as it deserves to be ingested dying inside because i didn't make this otherworldly loveliness all by myself ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 20 Jan 2000 20:22:03 EST From: DPS8315@aol.com Subject: ET: Merely Freshmen Hi everyone, I'm pissed. Nice to meet you to. I dont think you have it. sorry that was a dramatic outburst. if you're feeling like it, i'd appreciate it if you dropped by Critqueness Land of Inhibition to check out the comments i've left on anything posted since digest # whatever-way back when. thank you for caring through my frustrations. James ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #26 *********************************