From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #18 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Saturday, January 15 2000 Volume 03 : Number 018 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: I'm so happy........!!!! :) ["~* cymbaline *~" ] ET: Dead Inside (short story) [JewelAng@aol.com] ET: Technology Isn't Everything... (fwd) [Seth Fulmer ] ET: ~magnolia man~ [shivergirl ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sat, 15 Jan 2000 12:24:02 GMT From: "~* cymbaline *~" Subject: ET: I'm so happy........!!!! :) Hey ya'll! Remember how last month and stuff I was posting poems and stuff about a guy I really liked, but he moved, and I was too shy to talk to him? Well, I FINALLY sent him an IM when I saw him online, even though he had no clue how I knew it, and didn't even know my name. :) Wel, we got to talk, and I asked him to come to my friend's party. So I e-mailed him directions, since he was coming from about 30 miles away. When i got to my friend's house, I was so nervous, cause I didn't think he'd come. He caled about 6:30 "I'm lost! I got bad directions!!" He was drivivng around for 40 minutes trying to find the house. He finally showed up, I apologized for the directions. So, he had this chick w/ him, and I was thinking, "Oh.... he has a girlfriend. I'm such an idiot!!" But he made a point to say "This is my *cousin*..." So we were talking, and he is so sweet. And this other girl was talking to his cousin, and his cousin said he likes me. One of my friend's pointed out that we had good body language, and looked cute together. So anyway, When my friend's 2 year old came into the room (she's 40, a single mom w/ 5 kids), He was soooo cute w/ her! I could tell he'd definately be great w/ kids. My heart melted, I swear. So about the end of the night, he kinda took my ponytail holder out of my hand, and I was like "Oh, you want it?" so he kept it, as a "memeory". And he kinda asked when he could see me again. And before he left, he hugged me! Gosh... I didn't think this would ever happen after being too shy to even say hello to him for almost 4 months. I'm so happy :) Peace and Chicken Grease, Cym ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 15 Jan 2000 11:01:09 -0500 From: "Analisa" Subject: ET: Shakira... I don't know how many of you know spanish or can read it....whatever. This is a song by Shakira, and I love the lyrics and I thought I would share them with you all....I can translate later if anyone wants. an-ANGEL-isa Moscas in la Casa mis dias sin ti son tan oscuros tan largos tan grises mis dias sin ti mis dias sin ti son tan absurdos tan agrios tan duros mis dias sin ti mis dias sin ti no tienen noches si alguna aparece es inutil dormir mis dias sin ti son un dorroche las horas no tienen prinicipo, ni fin tan faltos de aire tan llenos de nada chatarra inservible basura en el suelo moscas en la casa mis dias sin ti son como un cielo sin lunas plateadas ni restros del sol mis dias sin ti son solo un eco que siempre repite la misma cancion tan faltos de aire tan llenos de nada chatarra inservible basura en el suelo moscas en la casa pateando las piedras aun sigo esperando que vuelvas conmigo aun sigo buscando en las caras de ancianos pedazos de nino cazando motivos que me hagan creer que aun me encuentro con vida mordiendo mis unas ahogandome en llanto extranandote tanto mis dias sin to como duelen los dias sin ti ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 15 Jan 2000 12:37:33 EST From: JewelAng@aol.com Subject: ET: Dead Inside (short story) Hi, Here's a story of mine. Please tell me what you think. Comments and flames wanted. If you write short stories send me a few that I may use on my website. thanks. Also I'm still looking for gothic poetry, art, or stories! Thanks Rebecca http://www.angelfire.com/yt/rebecca ******************** Dead Inside Blood seeped in thick droplets from his deeply slashed wrists. In his hand was a container of sleeping pills that his doctor had given him after his wife's death. He had never had trouble sleeping before, until Charity died. He would lie awake for hours trying not to think of her, but his thoughts always wandered back to her. He took the pills four at a time until the bottle lay empty on the gray tiled bathroom floor. Arden picked his knife up again, cutting two new wounds in his arms, trying to cover up the emotional pain he felt inside, with physical pain. His plan didn't work well; Arden couldn't even feel the cuts in his forearms. His black hair fell over his dark eyes, blinding him. He let his mind go back to thinking of Charity, as his black eyes stared forward, seeing nothing. Tonight was the one-year anniversary of Charity's death. He had always blamed himself for her death. He had been told many times that it wasn't his fault, but he knew it was. It haunted him like a deep sickness in his belly. In his eyes he might have just as well murdered her, it was all his fault. If he hadn't been sick, she wouldn't have gone out in the storm and she would still be alive. He didn't blame the wet road that made her car lose control. He didn't blame the tree that her car slammed into. He only blamed himself. He could still remember that night with vivid detail. He had been sick with the flu and Charity went out to get him medicine. He hadn't even tried to stop her. He remembered her leaning over the bed and Charity kissing his hot forehead. He remembered her dark, beautiful, hair. He remembered how holding her was like a healing balm to his wounds. He remembered how her face had been lit up for five months when she found out she pregnant. He remembered the joy they both shared when they found they were going to have a little girl. Her name was supposed to be Annwyl. He remembered telling her to be careful as the rain beat against the window. Most of all he remembered being awoken by the phone. It had been the hospital saying his wife had been in an accident. He remembered vaguely falling asleep after she left. If he hadn't fallen asleep he would have noticed how long she had been gone. One thick tear ran down his face and dropped on his forearm to mix with the blood that pooled at his wrists. With a large sob Arden fell to the floor with a thud. His wife's face flew before him in a white haze. She looked like a black haired angel. The picture that brought him the most comfort was of his wife holding a little baby with black hair. He knew it was Annwyl. Charity's face haunted him in his white haze dreams. All at once an ugly one replaced the beautiful dream. "Maybe it wasn't dream," Arden thought with despair, he hoped it was all a dream. He hoped he really wasn't in a hospital. His fears were brought to life when he realized he was awake and in a hospital room. It looked just like the room where he had seen Charity take her last breath. He remembered that awful shallow sound as he held her hand. Only moments before she had awoken for the first time in two and days and looked right at Arden as he sat beside her bed. She had whispered his name before her taking her last breath. His eyes focused and he noticed the IV tubes attached to him. The IV tubes signified a lost dream. He had wanted to die last night. His traveled to his forearms where he noticed thick white bandages. He wanted so badly to be with Charity and his daughter, his unborn daughter. The daughter that had only been five months within its mother's belly, before they both died. The only good he could see was Charity did not have to live with losing Annwyl, or Annwyl growing up without a mother. Charity would have made a wonderful mother. He knew she would have. He only wished that he could have died with them. He tried so hard last night to be with them, but it had all been in vain. He had let himself down. He couldn't be with her now. His thoughts wondered further as he scanned the room once more. "Something is sickly familiar about this place," Arden thought. With horror he realized that his was the same room in which Charity had died. With every ounce of strength he had, Arden reached for the plug that he knew was his life. Death was so close, he could smell it. ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 15 Jan 2000 13:36:34 -0500 (EST) From: Seth Fulmer Subject: ET: Technology Isn't Everything... (fwd) Yes, I know I need to follow this myself...but I thought you might all be interested in this neat forward. Take cares and I hope you are all doing well! Have a Great Day!! :o) Seth D. Fulmer mailto:kaosking@voicenet.com mailto:st96t879@drexel.edu - ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Sat, 15 Jan 2000 12:07:33 -0500 From: Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod To: APOSOC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU Subject: Technology Isn't Everything... >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE program? > >Customer: I'd like to try. I'm not very technical, but I think I am >ready to install now. What do I do first? > >CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your >HEART? > >Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now. >Is it okay to install while they are running? > >CS Rep: What programs are running? > >Customer: Let me see... I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, >GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now. > >CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from >your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, >but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually >overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. >However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. >Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn >those off? > >Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how? > >CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do >this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have >been completely erased. > >Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself >automatically. Is that normal? > >CS Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will >reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message? > >Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed? > >CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need >to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades. > >Customer: Oops... I have an error message already. What should I do? > >CS Rep: What does the message say? > >Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS." >What does that mean? > >CS Rep: Don't worry, that's a common problem. it means that the LOVE >program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on >your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in >non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before >it can "LOVE" others. > >Customer: So what should I do? > >CS Rep: Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE?" > >Customer: Yes, I have it. > >CS Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this. > >Customer: Thank you. > >CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy >them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, >REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any >conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need >to delete SELFCRITICIZE.EXE from all directories, and then empty your >recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes >back. > >Customer: Got it. Wow! My HEART is filling up with really neat files. > >SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now, and it shows that >WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over >my HEART! > >CS Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it >from here. One more thing before I go... > >Customer: Yes? > >CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules >to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people, and >they will return some really neat modules back to you. > >Customer: I will. Thank you for your help. > >CS Rep: You're very welcome. ------------------------------ Date: 15 Jan 00 09:59:47 CST From: Naomi Vaughn Subject: ET: i'm a cartoon this is... okay, was, three seperate poems... then i kinda felt like they had threads joining them that i wasn't paying attention to... so i connected them... and i think it works... comments, ect... tre bon, have a beautiful day :) ever, me kara ~ *i loved yours* nik ~ you can have, if you want. ** I tell myself I understand and I tell myself that i'm not over-compensating for all the places I come up short in comparison to her I do have alot to say, and I have the words with which to say it- this puddle of sound collecting in my soul, just waiting for an ear to sing to but I don't want to perform I want my song heard, and returned I want to make music with *my* lover as dusty secrets, unfold. "i'm a chipper cheerful free for all / and i light up a room / i'm the color me happy girl / miss live and let live / and when they're out for blood / i always give" ~Ani DiFranco, "Pixie" ____________________________________________________________________ Get your own FREE, personal Netscape WebMail account today at http://webmail.netscape.com. ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 15 Jan 2000 21:07:29 -0500 From: shivergirl Subject: ET: ~magnolia man~ ~ move me/into your sphere/tonight/david returned/ and rescinded/the tasmeen things/last year/ i thought/i lost/for good/my hand/feels over-used/ and paralyzed/but my thumbs/long to flip/ through your daydreams/at night/inside your sun ~ i'm no longer fatigued by last-name contemplation/after the limbo-state confusion/you lead me to your comfy couch/where i can stretch my fingers out/indulge in long deep eye contact/ flex my heart muscles at last/happily discovering/that yes/they do actually work ~ i want to lie side by side facing each other in the semi-dark/where we close the narrow gap between fantasy and reality/reveal our awkward nervousness in trembling hesitant fingers/ feel the difference between hard and soft skin/combined and intertwined in a steeple of caresses/as the angels bless/two first-time lovers ~ i love you so muchly i need you right this minute i want to make this 19th thing work out/between us i will always help you to become/here or there or anywhere we are/whatever is in my power/i will do for you/use caps sometimes perhaps/if you ask/i'll be smitten with your parents/ live in peace/every day/what's that/i would write you/come over to see you/fly into your mind/ read up on your case/til the sandman comes/to take my place ~ refreshed and in high spirits (i mean it--can you see it?) gazing outside the sockets of my eyelids i regard it the exterior of this wild interior music bubble girl whirlwind it's beautiful in here dear underneath your moon this starry roof you built last year the new millennium filled with magic milky ways ~ one day i will marvel at your quickness at picking up new languages and you will laugh abashedly try to deflect the attention back onto me point to my fourteen years of french lessons (as if that means anything) and i will respond in kind by gently mocking your country's still-existent monarchist ties secretly longing to see the palace where you stood guard once ~ talking in here i can sense your childhood under the covers i can breathe as long as i'm lying next to your presence watching our favourite television program although the fibres of sensual excitement the glow of the screen pull our attention away (it's just much-anticipated foreplay) they're only pale replicas of our lust-filled quest to quench love ~ surprise me/with breakfast/next/ it's you ~ brown-letter/friendship/six pages/ outlining disappointment/with girls/ curl up beside/my understanding/ won't you/let me/be for you/lucky love/number three ~ blue smartie/where have you/ been hiding/all this time/i settled for yellow ~ you're the album/i play/ before the concert/i listen to it/a lot/ letting it seep deep/and the audience/ can taste/all your secrets now/hear my pick/ of the week/do you know/what i mean/ underneath/the beat/zen rhythms/ innocent wisdom/demanding utter captivation/of me ~ do you have a woman of your own? (this was before we were together) you mean you actually want to show that story of mine (i didn't write it, you know) to your brother? when everyone else is just aching to press the delete key you save the dream personify concern in an uncertain cyber-changing world italicizing my words where i've been so-called bold ~ +never-ending questions from one benjamin+ wha dat, ke-yey? root beer. roo-beewa?? yeah. wha dat, ke-yey? mcdonald's. donald's?? yes! and my name's not kelly, benji. ke-yey? wha dat??? ~ "i feel really secure and excited that my need for recongition isn't so big anymore. it's like, if you've just broken up with someone, and you're not over them, and you run into them in a coffee shop, you worry about your appearance or whatever. but once you're over them, you don't care. and there's no reason for you not to care anymore--they're still the ex-one, they still hurt your feelings. but because you don't have that neediness and because you don't have that insecurity about yourself, you just don't care the same way." - --fiona apple-- ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #18 *********************************