From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V2 #292 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Tuesday, October 12 1999 Volume 02 : Number 292 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V2 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- Re: ET: see [JonBoy911@aol.com] ET: RE: see ["Kevin B. Pease" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 11 Oct 1999 22:36:12 EDT From: JonBoy911@aol.com Subject: Re: ET: see In a message dated 10/11/1999 4:49:35 PM Pacific Daylight Time, 51peg@abts.net writes: << Can't you see.. ? Each one of you gives me the same reasons i have heard over and over again. Try harder, burn in hell, bla bla bla.. well excuse me but (gag).. No substance. >> Well, I'm strongly convinced that there is nothing I can say to make you say, "Oh!, well you know what I'm wrong, you're right" If that was the case then I would say it. You may ask yourself why I have already come to this conclusion. Well, it's because you were wrong in your general assumptions. Oh I've had plenty of pain. I've totally relocated my life due to stress and a feeling of loneliness, and I'm only 18 years old. One of my problems is that I don't drink, smoke, or do any drugs. I never have. I struggle to be accepted by everyone for who I am, so why would I want to take something that would alter my actions? I've lost 4 friends to alcohol and drug related accidents, so I've seen the worst, but I still can't convince my friends not to do it. I've thought of giving up on life before too, but that's the easy way out. Nothing is going to just be handed to me, I have to work hard for it and recently I came to a great conclusion. You say you want a reason to live? Do you have a belief that you so strongly believe in, but yet no one else seems to understand it? The live so that you can make people aware of it. I've seen plenty of people drink or do drugs because of peer ressure, but I've never seen anyone choose NOT to do those things based on peer pressure, but I would like to see that happen, and it's one of my goals now. Maybe I helped you, maybe I didn't, but in the end you can only help yourself. Jon ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 11 Oct 1999 23:44:21 -0400 From: "Kevin B. Pease" Subject: ET: RE: see Steve, On Monday, October 11, 1999 7:45 PM, steve c [SMTP:51peg@abts.net] wrote: > Can't you see.. ? Each one of you gives me the same reasons i have heard > over and over again. Try harder, burn in hell, bla bla bla.. > well excuse me but (gag).. No substance. Ever hear the saying, "For those who don't believe, no proof is enough. For those who do believe, no proof is necessary."? This applies here. I've seen a bunch of people give their reasons for why they want to continue living, and I'd say that every one of them is a good reason to live. Why? Because it's a REASON -- any reason is a good reason, when you get right down to it. Some people get up every morning because they love their work, or they have a family that they love being around, and some people get up in the morning with no higher purpose than eating some French Toast before going to their boring job all day. It doesn't matter how "grand" or "noble" your reason for living is -- if it keeps you going, the living is grand and noble enough. I think that what we've got here is a fundamental disconnect. Everybody who's talking to you wants to live, and has a reason that they've found that does it for them. You're saying you don't have that reason. No matter how many "case histories" you hear, it's not going to be enough, because they're not you. Now... I'm not saying that, since you haven't found something to live for, that you never will, and that you're right to want to end your life. I'm going to say something that sounds suspiciously like the party line here because, well... the party line is sensible. Killing yourself is NOT a way out, is NOT a good idea, is NOT a good solution. Killing yourself is stupid, killing yourself is pointless, and killing yourself is a ridiculous waste of life. Now mind you, I'm not calling you stupid, I'm not calling you ridiculous... but I AM saying that your proposed plan of action is stupid. Smart people sometimes do very stupid things, and I sincerely hope you won't fall prey to it. Why do I want to continue living? Simply put, because there's too much cool shit out there to do for me to want to end my own life. I don't feel I "need" God, I don't feel I'll burn in hell without God... There's too many things I still want to do, and too many things I still feel I *need* to do before I die. Right now, if I live until I'm 100, I probably won't be able to do all the cool things I really want to... to off myself at the "ripe old age" of 24 and a half certainly isn't going to help me get all that stuff done. But that's my own reason -- I don't necessarily expect that it will work for you. Nobody can give you the "substance" which you're looking for except you. There must be *something* in your life that is worth living for... think about it before you say "no." Family? Friends? Lovers? Work? Play? There's got to be something worth getting up in the morning for. As for "interpreting life so we can live it..." I'll just share something Henry Rollins said one time... "If somebody wants to hand you a pile of horse shit, you don't have to take it, man." Feel free to refuse to accept a world that doesn't meet your expectations... people who say they're satisfied with the way the world is are, in my opinion, horrifically lazy... if the world has failed to meet your expectations, that's not a reason to kill yourself, that's a reason to keep on fighting to make the world meet your expectations. Life is often painful, frequently nasty & petty, all-too-often dull... And I say that having had a reasonably happy life. The thing about life is, even with all the boring, painful, nasty crap that make up 90% of it, there's those moments of clarity, where things are just absolutely, mind-bendingly, beautiful. Not perfect... but beautiful, all the same. Now, that said, you can choose to say that what I've said is "no substance," just as easily as you've dismissed everybody else's attempts. Which is fine, that's your prerogative -- You're not going to ruin my day by ignoring what I have to say, plenty of people ignore me daily - I'll still get out of bed in the morning. But I would urge you to spend some more time on introspection... find that little piece of something that makes life worth living. It is there, but nobody out here can give it to you -- it's up to you to find it. And, in the meantime... please, don't do anything rash or stupid. I don't know you, really, so I'm not going to feed you some cutesy sounding "I love you, as a person, man" line, in an attempt to "keep it real", and convince you that I'm sincere. I am sincere, but nothing I can say will change the fact that, if you choose to think I'm full of shit, then in your mind, I'm full of shit. I do care, in that I think it's a horrible, tragic waste of potential for you to kill yourself... you're obviously intelligent, you're obviously sensitive... and, to me, to waste the potential of that sensitivity & intelligence is nothing but a shame. I will categorically assure you that you have something to live for, but I'll also say that, in terms of finding it, you're on your own, nobody can do it for you. Stay well, man... Kevin - ---------- Kevin Pease kbpease@netscape.net ICQ UIN: 3106063 AOL IM: kbpease ". . . no I don't need a miracle, but I could use a push in the right direction . . . " ---(The Refreshments, Interstate)--- ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V2 #292 **********************************