From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V2 #214 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Saturday, July 24 1999 Volume 02 : Number 214 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V2 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: help [Courtney M Gordon ] ET: Rizzy is Bald ["Rizioule" ] ET: poems [Naomi Vaughn ] ET: A poem ["Rachel Musser" ] ET: wow [Courtney M Gordon ] ET: Airplane Song for JFK ["Rizioule" ] ET: poem for Anthony. ["cymbaline 76" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 23:58:25 -0500 From: Courtney M Gordon Subject: ET: help Dear Everyone, Okay, I need someone to listen. I'm pissed at the world for various reasons that NO ONE knows about. I can't tell anyone that lives around here or that knows where I live, such as friends and family, because it is no longer a legal problem, but they will all think it is. I only need one person to talk to about this, other letters will just be deleted, but thanks ahead of time anyway for responding. I need complete and total utter confidentiality. You can't tell a soul. Not your friends, family, pet rock, front lawn. No one. Especially no authority figures. This involves underage drinking, illegal sexual acts, theft, bad parents, etc. someone please respond. (p.s. if i don't respond to your letter, don't take it personal. i just can't talk to more than one person about this, but thank you for responding anyway.) love and luck always Courtney ___________________________________________________________________ Get the Internet just the way you want it. Free software, free e-mail, and free Internet access for a month! Try Juno Web: http://dl.www.juno.com/dynoget/tagj. ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 21:57:02 -0700 From: "Rizioule" Subject: ET: Rizzy is Bald hey everybody, I shaved my head I am baldheaded Rizioule World of Rizioule Interactive Adventure http://www.homestead.com/rizioule/ " Gathering of Angels" Concert Tour "Music for the World to Love By" http://www.homestead.com/GatheringofAngels/ ------------------------------ Date: 23 Jul 99 10:57:59 CDT From: Naomi Vaughn Subject: ET: poems I've actually been writing quite a bit these past weeks, certain people proving to be amazing inspirations. anyway, hope you all are well, here's some more... love, Naomi - --- My hope, my strength, from you I take - through you I find, myself. my bestfriend, my confidant, my light. in eachother we find all that we'd been missing. in eachother we find all that we never knew we'd been without. - -- little green golden angel in love w/ the sun... her momma can only frown - she can't remember when she too joyfully praised the sun, kissed by it's warm rays. - -- thoughts quick & shallow, denying depth from my fingers... tongue twisting, mouth choking on all that which refuses to be said. - -- pages & pages filled w/ blind ink passing through my fingertips -- the words stopped holding meaning a pen or two back... now they just come to be & run... down my chin to the blankness of this sheet, simply abandoning any whisper of truth I try & weave into it's veins. - -- chasing legs, chasing love but not the one, not that one you refuse to see, you'll never see there's more then that, there's so much more. - -- our entire archive of memories puffed out in one firey moment, erased to such lengths that sometimes I wonder if all "we" ever were was a bad dream, and I've finally woken up to the day. - -- you took my hand, put it to your lips, & breathed fire into my fingertips setting my mind aflame - a rapid brush fire consuming dead thoughts, & dry forgotten woes, w/ breathtaking speed. and I'm left in the ashy aftermath - soul renewed, tongue wrapped around a single spark, squeezing it into a million molten words that never seem to cease in their flow. - -- candle glow, ocean breeze, fills me senses melting my every anger to a tiny seed to be spit out, and there forgotten. - -- the bitter taste of love turned sour lingers on your tongue, twisting your mind & turning your tum. you drink the honey of her apology, but the "sorry's" burn of insincerity down your throat. sick & unsettled you go out, walking towards nothing, hoping in the back of your mind a destination pulls you towards & minutes turn into miles and that sun into rain, halting your tired feet & raising your face heavenward as the sky showers you, washing away every pain beneath it's salty touch, & stirring the memory of a watery dance... this draws a chuckle from deep in your throat, dissolving the ashes of loves fire. - -- silver-lined smile you pick her from the curb, faith (& fantasy) intow. pink lipstick is shared though words, are not and new lengths explored before you even say hello -- empty, you drive for a time, silence unnoticed. sweat sticks to your tongue, the memory of her pink lipstick, burned into your eyes. "There preachers who kill, there are killers who preach There are teachers who lie, there are liars who teach Take your pick, dear...cause it's all a facade" ~Jekll & Hyde ____________________________________________________________________ Get your own FREE, personal Netscape WebMail account today at http://webmail.netscape.com. ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 23 Jul 1999 14:06:34 -0300 From: "Rachel Musser" Subject: ET: A poem @~ EDA-thoughts list ~@ Hi! I just recently wrote this poem. It isn't about me but I used "I" in it because I think it gives people a clearer picture as to what the poem is talking about. I will sort of explain it. It's about some one that is looking through scrapbooks of pictures of themselves when they were younger. They are thinking to themselves what happened to them since then. This certain person has been trying to make themselves more sophisticated because they thought life would be better that way. In this, the person is trying to let everyone know that what once was still can be. It kind of goes around the theme "innocence can't be lost, it just needs to be maintained". I wrote this because last night I was looking through picture books and was thinking about what some people thought of themselves when they look at old pictures and what sort of memories they feel. Please send your comments because I entered this in the Jewel alloy poem contest so I hope it's good but if not *sometimes it be that way*. :) "What Once Was Still Is" i look at pictures of the past what started out as merely boredom turned into bringing down a wall a barrier of stopping myself from growing up too fast flipping through scrapbooks with frayed edges staring back at a face that once was full of dreams and hopes but has turned into an ackward and repetitive way of living i look surprisingly at a face that was once sprinkled with smiles and dimples which are now replaced with bags of darkness that paint worry and doubt under my eyes which embarrassingly proves my one hope of only surviving when i once knew there was so much more to life than just simply breathing i remember when i skipped and danced in fields feeling nothing but the sun's love and the fulfillness of life where as now i ambiguously walk uncomfortably with a stiff and stubborn step showing off my feelings of a lack of fulfillness and a hungry soul i look at firefly's being chased by a younger me with determination bursting from my fingertips where now all i chase is my ridiculous hope of moving "forward" in life as i go about it drinking coffee with my want of a more sophisticated way of being in mind my hands have lost the determination that they used to hold where as now i foolishly move my hands in an exaggerated way trying desperately to get my point across when i know there is no passion behind my words and no purpose behind what i am saying what happened to being nothing more than happy what happened to the passion i once created for myself what happened to looking forward to using my hands to create a healthier wellbeing instead of trying to unrealistically make myself grow up i think of all of this and stare at myself all i see are eyes staring back at me with a blank stare i thought eyes were supposed to be the windows to your soul where as mine are just there for mascara to rot upon my lips are frowning back at me i thought lips were supposed to speak meaningful words where as mine are just there to have lipstick eat away at my own fears of my soul being heard i notice my ears and think that they should be the tools for soaking in knowledge where mine are closed off snobbishly ignoring comments of how changed i am where once they savored words and learned from them as i touch my face i stare at my hands which were once soft yet worked from lending my hand to others but now are blistered and uncomfortable from trying too hard and no longer hold the promise they used to i wonder why it has taken me so long to notice this as i use a towel to take off the mascara and lipstick that has eaten away at my flesh i wash myself trying to get rid of the smell of smoke from too many cigarettes i feel ashamed thinking that these objects were my only shield towards life i think to myself that i will never again be without without myself i will never again live just to survive i look at what once was and realize that i never really lost what was there, i just never thought i had anything worth keeping after i am done i run outside in the fields and pick dandelions once again i am delighted to feel determination in my fingertips once more and i now see that what once was still can be and feel extreme contentment knowing that what once was still is Thanx so much for reading this, @~ Rachel ~@ P.S. If anyone is having a bad day I hope it goes better. soooo have a great day! :P Be sure to visit http://www.Garfield.com ! Get your free customized E-mail from http://gmail.garfield.com ! ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 23 Jul 1999 17:38:36 -0500 From: Courtney M Gordon Subject: ET: wow Dear Everyone, holy wow. So many of you responded, wow. Okay, I'm still reading through them, and yet again, don't take it personally at all if I don't reply to yours. Thank you guys SOOOO much though, it's great to know that someone cares. thanks again everyone, love and luck always Courtney ___________________________________________________________________ Get the Internet just the way you want it. Free software, free e-mail, and free Internet access for a month! Try Juno Web: http://dl.www.juno.com/dynoget/tagj. ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 23 Jul 1999 16:49:41 -0700 From: "Rizioule" Subject: ET: Airplane Song for JFK I would like to dedicate one of my latest songs and my deepest sympathy to the families of John Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn and Lauren Bessette and the families and victims of all air tragedies God bless you Airplane Song I know you're far away and you were oh, so close to me just yesterday And how I hated to see you fly away. Your airplane left a trail in the sky that kept me mesmerized for hours And I still remember our last embrace, the look in your eyes as you say, "miss you, see you soon" Then on the day you came back home I sat and waited by the phone and I waited and waited and waited and waited and waited for you and I waited for you The sky was blue and the birds were singing the day you smiled at me the sky is gray and the rain keeps falling since you went away The sky, it cries but it's to late to beg for mercy whats done is done they say So I go on and try to live my life without you and most times I'm ok But An airplane left a trial in the sky today Rizioule ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 24 Jul 1999 02:31:13 GMT From: "cymbaline 76" Subject: ET: poem for Anthony. Poem for Anthony. (Mother F*cking Asshole) It's 10 PM and I'm driving home, after learning, from Joseph, what you said. I know now, how you really feel. I had this feeling, but that was just a "feeling" but now I know. Delilah's on the radio, sending out songs for people in love, for people in pain. She plays a song, but I just can't listen, my tears make too much noise. I change stations hoping to hear something better, something that'll lift my spirits. Joeseph gave me flowers tonight When did you ever give me any? When did you ever show me any sign that you actually cared? But I know now. I know you only want one thing One thing you'll no longer get with the disrespect you've shown me. - -cymbaline _______________________________________________________________ Get Free Email and Do More On The Web. Visit http://www.msn.com ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V2 #214 **********************************