From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V2 #189 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Thursday, July 1 1999 Volume 02 : Number 189 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V2 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: help [Courtney M Gordon ] ET: hey all [Mandabear Four ] ET: Mountain View Concert [JulesJS17@aol.com] [none] [Courtney M Gordon ] ET: late night poetry [Mandabear Four ] ET: another late nighter [Mandabear Four ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 30 Jun 1999 00:37:32 -0400 From: Courtney M Gordon Subject: ET: help Okay I just got done watching Tim McGraw's video for Remember Me or Please Remember Me or whatever and now I'm just like crying 40 oceans because it reminded me of Chris (being the only guy i ever loved who died a while ago.). You'd think i'd be smart, hear the beginning of the song and just turn the channel knowing that listening to it would make me cry, but oh no, did i do that? No of course not. So I listened to it and like i said and bawling my eyes out now and i'm pissed at the world. I don't understand why i can't just forget that i loved him! I have a picture of him here that i haven't looked at in a while, it serves as a dust catcher in my dresser drawer, and i tried to throw it away a couple times thinking it would help, as naturally it should. But i couldn't throw it away, now realizing i don't want to forget him. I'm not crying aobut him. Oh hell yes, it was a huge loss, but i'm crying because he didn't know how i felt, because i never got the chance/words to tell him! So throwing away his picture would do nothing. I just want to forget that i loved him because that's what pisses me off. i hate myself now because i hid how i felt for so long that when i realized i had to let it out it was too god damned late. (i'm pissed at the world, excuse the profanity) And now I'm kinda pissed at God too which wierds me out, because things like this shouldn't fucking be aloud to happen! It's not fair! Do rapists and murderers and child molesters ever die? Oh NO....of course not. Just the good people. Just those ones that make you want to plant them and grow a whole damn field of Chris's! The people that rip out other people's intestines, choke them with it and then put mud down their throat to make them stop screaming, those people never die!!!! (sorry for the vivid description there. sorry if any dinners just came back up to say hi.) It's always the good people. It's always those people that are missed severely. It's the people that make other's wanna commit suicide when they die just cuz it was such a huge loss, it's those people that die! Is that serial murderer on the train tracks dead? NO! Tim Rozencrantz, is he dead? No. Is Charles manson dead? no. of course not. they are bad people. By the way, Tim Rozencrantz was a serial murderer, that no joke, my sister married before he started killing. He's now in jail (ALIVE) and my 9 year old nephew is his son, and he doesn't know and probably never will know that he's the son of a serial rapist of prostitutes and murderer. just thought i'd share. i hate my life. love and luck always Courtney ___________________________________________________________________ Get the Internet just the way you want it. Free software, free e-mail, and free Internet access for a month! Try Juno Web: http://dl.www.juno.com/dynoget/tagj. ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 30 Jun 1999 09:18:12 -0400 From: Mandabear Four Subject: ET: hey all Um, when I wrote that email, I wasn't quite "lonely" I was just really bored. I had been watching my little cousin (she's 9 months old) all day and then my mom came home and took her on some errands and I didn't know what to do with myself. I was so glad to have some relief from the baby but then again my whole day's activity was taken from me. It's kinda hard to explain. I know there were a million things I could have done to not be so bored but I didn't do any of them. I layed on my couch and tried to have a conversation with my best friend which is not always the easiest thing to do. Oh Jim, yes I am female and single =) (not by choice though) and I would love to go to your website but I don't have internet access. Thanks Seth for the invite but i don't have internet access. Oh, I have checked out your website though. i was at school one day and got bored and checked it out there. Very cool. Have you ever seen the Hamster Dance? If not, check it out at www.hamsterdance.com it's so cool. Debbye, I am 16 years old and in my spare time I usually either work or I'm at school. And now my summer consists of a week and a half at my favorite place in the world, every day of babysitting and when I'm not babysitting I'll be working at my job. Sounds fun, huh? I don't have a car yet, I get my license soon but not soon enough. I could have gotten it today had I not taken driver's ed. I have to do my driving with the driving school before I can set up an appointment with DMV. Yes, I attend church but I can't do any of the youth group activities cuz I work. Yes, I have hobbies but they aren't things I can readily do at home. Well, take care everyone. <3 always ~Mandabear~ The Forever Seeking Teen Angel ___________________________________________________________________ Get the Internet just the way you want it. Free software, free e-mail, and free Internet access for a month! Try Juno Web: http://dl.www.juno.com/dynoget/tagj. ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 30 Jun 1999 17:30:20 EDT From: JulesJS17@aol.com Subject: ET: Mountain View Concert Hey everyone! Last night was Jewel's concert in the Bay Area. I just remember now why I like her so much, especially when she sang Stranger and Barcelona. There's a connection between the emotions in her music and the more hurtful feelings we all experience that makes her music exceptional. And then to be able to sing, showcasing that inherent emotion is just awesome and touching. Well it was a wonderful concert. I hope you all get to hear her soon. sweetly, Julienne p.s. does anyone have Stranger or any recordings of her more recent concerts? I'm starving for some AngelFood! ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 30 Jun 1999 19:10:36 -0400 From: Courtney M Gordon Subject: [none] Dear Everyone, A while ago i asked if anyone was a hard core eve 6 fan and that i needed the Promise (by eve 6 obviously) lyrics. no one replied but i worked for a solid two hours and finally figured out the lyrics. Thought I'd share them with yall: sleeping through the evening singing dreams inside my head. I'm heading out i've got some 'ends who say they care and they just might. Run away with you if things don't go as planned planning big could be this big mistake that leaves me young and sad. I spit and stutter. Strut and flutter. Worries in my worry corner. That i just get old and trust and trust in sometimes brilliant trust and thought. Humor you for 'while. I'm intrigued, but I crack a smile, you crack a dream. Promise that I'll try not to let you down. Promise that I'll try not to let you down. Let you down. I am elated I am all smiles and dated in my man bites dog town with a Spanish name, you see. I am all bone. I am two toned. Red as a new born white as a corpse. Promise that i'll try not to let you down. Promise that i'll try not to let you down. Promise that i'll try not to let you down. Promise that I'll try not to let you down. Let me down. Why you gotta keep the fan on high when it's cold outside? Just wanna letcha know i'm still a fan. Everybody wants charm and a smile in a promise, a promise not to try. I think I know, it isn't shocking, but it's scary. LIke a birthday party, scary like that little top you're wearing. Get me out of here -- weathers clear. shes showing you some medicine. Ridallin to decarine. not with an open mind. Promise that i'll try not to let you down. Promise that I'll try not to let you down. Promise that i'll try not to let you down. Promise that i'll try not to let you -- You always come and go. You always come and go you know. You always come and go. Promise that i'll try not to let you down. Promise that i'll try not to let you down. Promise that i'll try not to let you down, let me down. Promise that i'll try not to let you down. Promise that i'll try not to, not to, not to leave. not to leave. Not to leave. I won't leave if you don't leave." ___________________________________________________________________ Get the Internet just the way you want it. Free software, free e-mail, and free Internet access for a month! Try Juno Web: http://dl.www.juno.com/dynoget/tagj. ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 30 Jun 1999 22:35:27 -0400 From: Mandabear Four Subject: ET: late night poetry some ramblings going through my head. tell me what you think and so you and i sit there on the box of crayons you look at me and i can feel the colors blending together and I want you to kiss me and then you do i keep swimming in your ocean blues you touch me and i feel brand new i don't want you to let go but it's time i wish i could make love to you all night the kind of love where you don't touch at all that's when i realize when we're together, that's the only love we have. and people don't understand the solid bond we have that links us together and i wonder as i lay there if the butterfly ever floated this way and i realize i am on the same box of crayons that you two colored together and made sacred and i want to cry but the tears don't flow and I want you to hug me and tell me you love me the way i have loved you for three years the kind of love that no one knows they can't know it for we speak our own language and they try to figure it out and even get jealous but i simply tell them green is not their best color and they look at me with confusion mixed with contempt cuz they can't have what we have whatever we have. <3 always ~Mandabear~ The Forever Seeking Teen Angel (who's more afraid of finding herself than loosing herself). ___________________________________________________________________ Get the Internet just the way you want it. Free software, free e-mail, and free Internet access for a month! Try Juno Web: http://dl.www.juno.com/dynoget/tagj. ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 30 Jun 1999 22:42:37 -0400 From: Mandabear Four Subject: ET: another late nighter another rambling of thoughts in my head it's not really a poem and it's not finished but it's inside my head at this late at night. you can't sit here and tell me that you think i'm cool when you can't even look at me you tell me i'm pretty and your friends agree, does that make a difference i don't look like your prom date and that is why you like me how lame is that? and i hand out compliments like Planned Parenthood with their condoms and you don't return my flirtatious vibes and yet it's okay cuz you're you and i don't know how God could create such a fine looking creature because beautiful is the only word to describe you but your beauty is only skin deep for now i haven't taken off your layers you haven't exposed yourself to me and i can't understand why. <3 always ~Mandabear~ The Forever Seeking Teen Angel (who's more afraid of finding herself than loosing herself). ___________________________________________________________________ Get the Internet just the way you want it. Free software, free e-mail, and free Internet access for a month! Try Juno Web: http://dl.www.juno.com/dynoget/tagj. ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V2 #189 **********************************