From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V2 #75 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Friday, March 19 1999 Volume 02 : Number 075 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V2 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: thoughts on parties and friends [winters ] ET: me [Miles and Prystowsky ] ET: more recent poems [SummerTime ] Re: ET: me [Angeljlr98@aol.com] ET: Poem 1: The Beauty of Life [Seth Fulmer ] ET: Poem 2: Alas but a dream [Seth Fulmer ] ET: mmmhmm [Naomi Vaughn ] ET: some poetry from the turtle girl :) [nicole kline Subject: ET: thoughts on parties and friends i decided not to spend as much time with my senior class a few months back. i tried to say this was some sort of subconscience desision but i knew the whole time, i was sick of the same people and wanted a change. often times i hang out with people who either already graduated or who live in another city. but tonight i decided to go out to one of those parties which i used to spend every weekend in. i'm sure my school is no different then any other, the parties are big with bonfires and are out in the woods. people complain about the beer and usualy a fight breaks out or "friends" go out in the woods to "get to know each other better" or as the drunken fools always put it, "to simply talk". i could go on and on about all the bad sides of the parties, how you end up avoiding who ever you made a fool of yourself too for the next week and half. but there is something more to the stoned faces and spilled beer. somehow in all of the teenage chaos i found some depth to it all. i was with my class. the people who i went into high school with being naive and unaware. sure we are all still naive and unaware, but now we think we know more. and we have felt more, it's just that so much happens in the world that we can't possibly be "ready" for what's about to happen once we leave. standing around the bonfire, looking at ex boyfriends, ex friends, people who i never liked, people who i bonded with months back, close friends, and people who i have never seen before, i felt a certain amount of unity. it wasn't the beer, the drugs or the loud music, but it was the faces, the stories each of us shared (even if all the stories were slurred), it was the friendships which were made right then and there, and probably never remembered again. just like any party, the potheads get the munchies and who ever didn't pass out needs coffee. just about everyone went into wafflehouse, which ended up being jamed pack. i tease these people daily and try and stay far away from any "bonding" experiance with them. but now i see why i did this in the begining of the year. it's easy to build walls around people and pretend not to care, but it's a world of a difference once you decide to look in and give that other world a chance. this email doesn't have to do with parties,but more with those random friendships.those people who you will never remember their names or faces. but you will always remember the event or at least the feeling. these are the people who only know you by your laugh or how many drinks you chugged that night; but these random people that we rarely take any notice of, actualy help make who we are. one more thing, these past few months have been hard for me. my best friend and i have completely stopped talking, no hello's in the hallways, nothing at all. sometimes when you get close to someone, weather it's a "special someone" or a best friend, you tend to lose track of others around you. sometimes by saying goodbye to someone you are actualy helping yourself and that person, to meet other people and grow. thank you for reading my rambles. it's late, i can't help it but to type about nonsense. kat imperfect angel ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 18 Mar 1999 22:10:57 -0800 From: Miles and Prystowsky Subject: ET: me i think i'm crazy. CRAZY. here i am, yaking and blabbing again. hell you are probably gona have to hear from me every thursday after my hip hop class. man...me, i have one guy i like at a time and it's just like, makes me feel nuts. i already told you my hip hop teacher stuff right? his name (it's ironic cuz it's the one i used to make fun of a lot) is fred and he's 17 i think, and man...he's really...cute isn't the right word. and "fine" is off too because "fine" makes me think of posers. he's pretty hot though. kind of like ethan hawke hot, but a little less intense. he's really nice, he's friendly and really casual and he is an excellent dancer. it's fun just to watch him. :) then of course when he wants to see us do stuff and i see him watching me i start thinking, ok sam don't screw up now...that's easy cause it's hard but hard because it's SO fun... i probably look at him too much. you know i'd most likely make some kind of move except...forgive me if i already told you this brief history... well he co-teaches the hh class that is right before the ballet 1 i used to take, and i noticed him and i was like...damn...and then this girl, "leah", joined my class and she said the exact same thing. a couple weeks later he joined our ballet class, and he quit when i quit - he quit to teach this (my) hiphop class (during the ballet) and i quit to take the hiphop class. but before he quit, there was all this crap with me and caitlin just being nuts over him, and this girl "lissa" in our class goes to his school, so she asked him which of us he (was more likely to?) liked. and he said leah, and lissa said WHY, and he said i look too young, which was a grave insult because leah and i are the same age. leah just bleaches her hair and she's bustier and I can't help that i'm afraid *sob* (don't judge yourself sam, don't judge yourself sam...). so naturally i was kind of crushed (pun not intended) but i couldn't let that show, so i kept acting like i didn't care while leah fretted about him and lissa encouraged her. lissa told him a bit later that leah thought about him all the time and really liked him, and he didn't believe her. of course she didn't tell him that the same was true for me. and you know how people sometimes say "oh, i'm sorry," like they're not wishing it differently but they are empathetic? at least, i do that; but neither of them ever did....if he flirted at all it was the same amount to both of us, which was really confusing on my end. he never talked to either of us in that class; meanwhile leah began another hiphop class that he also co-taught. now he sees both of us in hh and she said he still doesn't talk to her. i however do talk to him, but i think he thinks of it kind of teacher-to-student, well if he likes me at all he doesn't let on. so today he said hi, smiled, and he talked for a bit to leah and i, but other than that... i just come home so happy because i love the class, i've never ever had this much fun; and i come home just so bummed cause i think i am a little wacko. i'm like, 'i wish he liked me, i wish he liked me,' and hark, do i hear a bird whistle he doesn't? and then i'm all sad and i just feel like my entire self is in a mess. yeah... thanks for putting up with me. love - -sam the ? angel ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 19 Mar 1999 00:30:35 -0600 From: SummerTime Subject: ET: more recent poems Three boys, three poems.. Can you guess who's who, Sam? :-) - -- 3/18/99 (untitled) by summer burton to me you are a painting of a picture of makeup on a doll entirely beautiful, no doubt and eerie when the colors mix together in the sunlight when you look like a landscape but it's untouchable and far away and breakable Somehow even when we stare I feel as though I'm not quite seeing you the focus is blurry and even when I sharpen you in my mind, looking back there's still something missing something gone from your watercolor face it's so undeniably fake - -- 3/18/99 (Untitled 2) by summer burton I dreamt that you walked on water and spoke to me and apologized you said we needed to talk and now, allofthesudden I ache to hear you say it I want to need to talk to you I want to have a reason to fly to you and run away just so we can speak just so I can hear you speak - -- 3/18/99 (Untitled 3) by Summer Burton loving you was only fun for two days and then it got tedious and so I've resolved not to cry when you pick the other girl after all, what claim do I have? You never say goodbye to me, either It's not like we were ever special were we? exept when you say my name and I no longer tremble around you but that makes me shake because you say it like you care you slide your s and I can see your lips and your mm is beautiful but I was saying about loving you and how it's got to stop but your s's and mm's may keep me holding on for a few more days - -- That's all tonight... Love, Summer ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 19 Mar 1999 01:31:09 EST From: Angeljlr98@aol.com Subject: Re: ET: me Sam, sweetie, I love you! This guy better come around. =) And if he doesn't, you'll like someone else next week (KIDDING!), but until then, don't worry about feeling upset about it, I'm sure I don't have to tell you that everyone feels that was, blah blah blah. =) Love, Jamie ~I don't belong here, you're so different from me~ Shelby Starner ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 19 Mar 1999 09:58:45 -0500 (EST) From: Seth Fulmer Subject: ET: Poem 1: The Beauty of Life Hey..I wrote this a few days ago...I wrote another one just now and I'll pass it on later but this poem sorta makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It's sorta written after seeing both "Wishmaster II" and "City of Angels" in the same weekend as well as thinking on my own. Well, Take cares :) -Seth - --------------------------- The Beauty of Life 3/16/99 by Seth D. Fulmer Heavenly seraphim dance with a glee Angels without halos can never attain Devillish djinni grant wishes with flattery Satirical misfortunes come readily to the sinful Indeed those who've fallen will come back to life It just takes some time, faith, hope, and willpower Faith helps for some, but for some it's quite useless It takes all that, and yet so very much more My sins will abound by huge leaps and great strides They'll run with the best of saints yet still miss the mile I've sang with the cherubs, and killed time too in hell Yes I'm quite sane, but are you? God pray tell! Anyone can dance with the best dancing beauty queen But who of you can say that with her I ate ice cream? With her I screamed at the beauty of the sunset With her I soared naked over the water falls With that gorgeous beauty who can make dead men cry at the incredibly perfect heaven that they've just left behind which of you can ask her the meaning of life and agree a hundred percent with her answer and her smile? Earth though can offer you a million more things the taste of a pear, a smile in the sunrise The touch of someone else's flesh against your belly button, a surprise The smile that a lady gives upon receipt of a rose, The smell that a rose has just before it is given out The lovely all night conversations by the light of the moon talking about nothing, yet something, or a song That is pure heaven, and the beauty of life Making life more enjoyable for the rest of humanity Ruining the evil efforts of satan's theiving army and enjoying all the fruits of God's worldly glory ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 19 Mar 1999 10:02:08 -0500 (EST) From: Seth Fulmer Subject: ET: Poem 2: Alas but a dream Ok, I wrote this one just now...It's not true in that I slept very soundly last night for once but recent thoughts have gotten me thinking and I sorta wanted to make up for that horrible poem that I sent in the other day. Well, this should be all for today I hope :) Take care and Have a Great Day! :o) Seth D. Fulmer mailto:kaosking@voicenet.com - ---------------------------------- Alas but a dream by Seth D. Fulmer 3/19/99 There's a girl who I'd die without I'd run to her from coast to coast East to west, North to south Up to down, inside out She makes me so crazy, my mind is a blur of swurling pretty colors and musical symphonies She gives food its flavor She makes roses smell sweet Red as the ripest apple and more beautiful than a jewel I wish to stay up all night long and talk with her about nothing nothing at all and yet something; that which makes to each belong A passion, and a romance and not a novel either a true life cindarella story come to true life, flesh and blood The hour draws oh so near Midnight,one,two,three,four Oh my God, I need to wake up but I've yet to sleep and I've got an hour to go Well, why not stay up? She's online still, why not? My true life morning glory will keep me sweet company The night passes seamlessly The ravens turn to sparrows The churchbells ring mercilessly as they chime seven dongs My God, did I oversleep? I thought I stayed up She probably is mad at me for leaving her so suddenly. But no alas she doesn't exist It was all but a dream A dream designed to fool madmen into thinking that they are sweet I really slept the night away comfortable as a log in a stream laying in bed all alone with only myself to be with me. ------------------------------ Date: 19 Mar 99 14:12:46 CST From: Naomi Vaughn Subject: ET: mmmhmm hey angels...just felt like writing...so, muster up some patience for me. thanks. things are kinda crazy around here. Faith has to go in for more tests today...and my mom's emotional from that and lack of sleep. they said the worst possibility is something to do w/ the thyroid(sp?!) gland...and that if that's the case we'll just go to a specialist..it's very managable, so that's good. i'm sick w/ the flu right now...so i feel bad cause i can't be of much help around here. my dad's going to dallas tonight...and I was going to go w/ him...for a little break from everything here...but, I don't think that's going to happen. I have no energy and I'm really lightheaded and woozy. which is maybe why i'm babbling...blame it on the nyquil (haha, kevin). i wrote a couple poems. all of which were written in my sickly haze...heh...i'm not sure what to think about them. so, yeah. oh, I know...one of you might know this...in the movie "adventure's in babysitting"...the scene at the beginning where she's dancing all over her room lipsinging to some song...can anyone tell me what song that was? me and my brother had an argument about it...he thinks it's the song that goes "it's my party and i'll cry if I want to"...i'm positive it's not. so, if you could help me prove him wrong...it would be so much appreciated. :) have any of you ever heard of the group molly's yes? no, I guess not, huh...they're a local group...duh naomi. they're really good though. i'm reading 4 books right now...I have this habit of starting a book..then seeing something else i want to read...so, yeah, i'm in the middle of 4 books. Carl Sagan's 'Contact'...works of Thoreau...and two other poetry books. wow, I really am babbling...i'm s*rry.. i guess i should maybe stop now. i'll try and include some poems in this. love y'all... ever, Naomi the unknown dizzy "okie" angel - -- Jody a tall swedish woman with long brown hair coo's at my little sister speaking of her own 4 and how fast time flies I'm thinking to myself, she's beautiful... but it's a maternal beauty I find myself imagining how she must've looked before 4 kids and 10 years of marriage I cringe at my thoughts, (I'm becoming my grandmother), it saddens me 18mar99 - -- you start thinking if I just close my eyes I won't be seen and if I drop my voice to a whisper I'll never be found it's then that the often forgotten line, breaking off the truth from the lies, just fades away and you're left no more then everyother wallowing theif pass the help, head straight for the bottle, 'tis the classy thing to do, afterall and you start thinking if I just slip quietly out the back, no one will know the difference no one will know 18mar99 - -- molten eyes burn her face showing her things she never wanted to see spidery hands pull back the curtains revealing so much more then the afternoon sun lips sewn shut she screams only in her mind at the horror before her now stem of legs chained to the floor she rips and thrashes, but cannot escape her nightmare. 19mar99 ____________________________________________________________________ More than just email--Get your FREE Netscape WebMail account today at http://home.netscape.com/netcenter/mail ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 19 Mar 1999 12:23:04 -0800 (PST) From: nicole kline Subject: ET: some poetry from the turtle girl :) here are a few i wrote today in spurts. i hope you like them, and feedback is welcome. Marbled confusion. My halo doesn’t shine today It hasn’t shined For quite some time Because I may be able to fool you And I can fool the whole world, if I tried But I can’t fool my heart, And that’s where my halo Is plugged in. 956am this one is one of the few i have written lately that rhymes... I push you away FOR A REASON, I block you out of my mind, Because it’s easier to be the one leaving Then the one who is left behind. I can sense it in it’s first stages I know when the storm will come So I am the one who leaves first And I try to keep you under my thumb. It’s easier to be in control, easier To have everything, all to know But I’m afraid this time, I’ve been foiled… I feel for once, I don’t want to go. 1000am your heart: a cage. My heart: a white room; Prison cell. Your mind: a playground. My mind: a park with a barbed wire fence; Mistrust. Your soul: a healed century. My soul: a millenium of memory; A picture book. Your eyes: where my soul seeks comfort. My eyes: a reflection; Mirror. In love I wait Within them. 1148am can’t you hear the quiver in my voice, can’t you feel the tremble in my touch, can’t you see the uncertainty in my step, these, among others, are symptoms of love. 1156am. I find my mind wandering to thoughts of you- Your fingertips across my face, Breath on my neck, Unblinking brown eyes…long lashes Fluttering on my cheek, Strong hands grasping my jaw, Lips touch. I find my heart racing through thoughts of you- Hungry mouth searching for my neck, ears, Bodies pressed, Hands gripping my sides, Pressing me down. I find my soul yearning to share time and space with you- Walking hand in hand through the park, Kissing softly, Holding me close in my living room, Bodies… Mind heart soul Meld to one. I find myself Within you, Whole again. 241pm nicole the tiny raining angel _________________________________________________________ DO YOU YAHOO!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V2 #75 *********************************