From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #328 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Friday, January 1 1999 Volume 01 : Number 328 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: hey people - Happiness isn't having everything you want, it's wanting everything you have. - our own kevin [moonsong@ix.netco] ET: another thing [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Charlie, Andalite, & The Godde] ET: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! ["Dr. RomeAntic" ] ET: 1 poem [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Charlie, Andalite, & The Goddess)] [none] [mandabear4@juno.com (Mandabear four)] ET: Need your input.... ["Erin Benoit" ] ET: Happy new year! [Robby VanSciver ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1998 12:06:55 -0800 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Charlie, Andalite, & The Goddess) Subject: ET: hey people - Happiness isn't having everything you want, it's wanting everything you have. - our own kevin hey angels, here's an exerpt from something i wrote, it's a letter to my friend but it's more like a diary entry. actually it's almost the whole letter. some of it might not make sense but it all plays into the mood and the meaning, so just...enjoy it or whatever. "you know, i'm realizing, this letter is quite a bit like a diary. maybe cause 'the catcher in the rye' really inspires me. i wrote *** from camp last night - i hope he's okay. you know he was in my advisee group, and he was quite a serious and thoughtful guy, and he told us how he's been kind of suicidal and depressed in the past. so i hope he's okay after camp. i wrote him right away like i wrote everyone else, but he didn't write back. i hope he didn't start feeling unliked after awhile. i hope he's not dead or something. anyway, so as i was saying - well holden caufield (the main character of 'catcher in the rye,' my favorite book) just so describes what a lot of us teenagers think and feel, i think. he kind of expresses this desperation and disgust, at least maybe he represents guys pretty well. well it's a great book by any means, at least. umm, so i was gonna say something. hmm. so anyway, how was the year for you? oh my god, i can't believe, today's the last day of 1998. you know that really doesn't seem possible. i mean - all of a sudden i'm thinking, no, it can't be. 1998 was so good for me, in the good and the bad. and that may sound weird, but it really was. each new year is so much like the merging into the new. old to new. growing and growing always. as i told ***, '98's most major events for me were visiting nj for a 5 year reunion with my awesome cousins (and becoming friends with almost all of them), my ballet recital, having (and breaking up with) a first boyfriend, camp, the uu youth teenagers, and all the growing that spread over and connected all of that together. you know, when i was thirteen i was determined to conquer the voodoo and make it a wonderful year, but things out of my control happened (my dad had to have major surgery and my mom had a scare with her heart - biologically -) and so it was a weird year after all. so fourteen has been awesome. more carefree, a lot of freedom, new strong friendships, changing that was kind of hard sometimes but all ended up good. i've really loved this year. so then. tomorrow it will be 1999, and 4 days after that, on january 5th, i will be 15. and that symbolizes yet another change. see for me i'm kinda lucky, in a way, cause the end of each year really does literally symbolize the gaining of another year for me. i don't want to say the end of a year, because that sounds too scary. i mean it is the end in a way, but it's also the continuation. i mean it's not like my life's ending or anything, quite the opposite. so anyway. being 15, or the thought of it, brings about a bunch of more stuff. mortality, growing, changing, staying the same, getting older, being young, responsibility, life - all of it gets smashed into the end and the beginning of the year for me. last year i spent my birthday in nj, and i remember crying that morning because i was suddenly terrified of never seeing my family again someday. and i had to be comforted about all of that. now of course there's lots of good stuff about turning 15 - but it also defines things. i mean, it's definately not too close to childhood anymore - you can't say, 'well i'm only 2 years into the teens.' really, you're now 6 years past the single digits, and only 3 years till you can vote, 1 year till you get a license, 6 years till you're old enough to drink. old enough to goddamn drink! my god. so 15 is quite an age. and it's going to be quite a year too. i'm taking everything with enthusiasm. i mean, life is good. even though i feel kind of sick right now. so i guess in a way this really is my diary for the day - and the end of the year. i needed to write something today anyway. i mean it's a major thing! a year merging into a new one just isn't something you can merely pass up. plus next year is the last year of the past thousand years, and that's something few people get to experience. and it's exciting - but kinda sad, weird, freaky, you know. 1999. that's almost all 9's. so anyway, i always try to write something on the last day of the year. it symbolizes stuff, you know. and i'm sure i probably wouldn't write nearly this much by hand, because it'd take so much longer. oh, i could probably say so much more too. i can go on and on, you know. but anyway. i won't say too much more, for now, at least. i wonder what i'm going to do for the end of 1999 - something big i'm sure. i gotta. it's a major event. like a transition, you know. yippee. lately we watch movies until the new year on new year's eve - but i gotta do more than that for the year 2000. still, this is pretty good and fun and all for now. ...what was i gonna say. oh yeah. my christmas was great, well pretty good anyway. it was different from any other so far. i mean they all are, but this one was different especially. cause i knew about everything for a long time now, but i was so involved in playing the santa stuff this year that the next morning, while it was exciting, it was still - it took that magic out of it, you know? and that also plays into the whole growing up thing. it just all connects. so it wasn't quite so mysterious and magical as it had been in past years. still, it was nice. my sister and her boyfriend were here, and we took hours to open presents because we took our time and admired each thing and just enjoyed ourselves. it was really nice that way. my sister is one of my best friends, and she also treats me like an equal. she's 25 and i can talk about anything with her. it's really great. so it's been nice to have her around so much over christmas break. well i guess this is long enough for now. my family's working out, with weights, but i'm not, partly because i'm writing this, but also because i don't want to wear myself out. oh yeah, i forgot to tell you, yesteday i also got back from my aunt's house. we spent tuesday and tuesday night there. my aunt was dogsitting this dog, little, white, cute, but she barked from 11pm to 4am and i swear, i bet you the neighbors could hear her. she had the highest pitched, most annoying, loud, bratty bark. so i got hardly any sleep. anyway. ...happy new year and may you always grow and be happy. that's my wish for everyone, that we can all be truly happy. it's such a good thing. live love and kiss the sun stars and sky. just think, we will not speak again until next year. but that's not that far away anyway, is it." so there you are. :) happy new year to everyone. i'll write a poem or something and send it to the list today. i feel like doing that, anyway. 'live, love and let go.' and a few quotes for the day, the year... "I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way" - -Pablo Neruda "Love is like wreckless driving, it fun while it lasts and it's faster than walking, but no one's gonna sympathise when you crash, they'll say 'you hit what you head for, you get what you ask.' And we'll say 'we didn't know, we didn't even try, one minute there was road beneath us, and the next just sky.'" - -Ani Difranco "You are possessed with a power Bigger than the pain" - Everclear "I believe in Angels, I believe that in my lonliest times I have not really been alone, that no one really is." - -Jewel "september, I'll remember - a love once new has now grown old" - -Paul Simon and finally... "If you die in a hundred days, I want to die in a hundred days minus one so I never have to live a day without you." - -Winnie the Pooh love, sam the ? angel 12:05 pm on december 31st, 1998 moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1998 12:08:42 -0800 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Charlie, Andalite, & The Goddess) Subject: ET: another thing hey... also, what are your resolutions? and what do you think of jewel as she is now? i think the latter is very interesting. it seems she's maybe changed... (btw, i think marilyn manson/jewel is nifty as all hell.) sam the ? angel moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1998 20:59:05 +0100 From: "Dr. RomeAntic" Subject: ET: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Hey, you know I always love waiting 'til the last minute to do this... so here it is... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Metro/2009/wishes.html - -- Have fun and stay beautiful Dr. RomeAntic, an angel with the worst stroke of luck "My inner vision, dulled and darkened I keep myself away to you I fuck my sorrow humbly And throw my crown upon the ground It's you I hope for And us I pray for And me that I believed was wrong But now my anger is my best friend Be careful I may bite your head off" Paula Cole / Throwing Stones / This Fire Catch Dr. RomeAntic's cyber image @ http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Metro/2009 ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1998 12:28:32 -0800 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Charlie, Andalite, & The Goddess) Subject: ET: 1 poem I walked along a path by green grass, and saw amongst it a little white seed pod, a carrier of wishes, a thousand little feathers swaying on a stem. I picked it, so I had been told in childhood that even the wishing upon a seed pod was more likely to come true than on a star, and I wished always to be happy, you know that is all I ever really want - the seeds, they blew away, little wisps of cotton. they flew so fast when I blew them as if they had to rush among the winds, to spin away into the updrafts to carry my wish somewhere to make it true. Never have I blown all the seeds off with such ease. It must mean something. And you, you know. I have always been a dreamer, I write poetry in my head and never write it down. So instead it blows and flutters away on the winds of my mind until I have forgotten it, or it has vanished from grasp. You know I always have loved flowers and those that carry my wishes are the most precious. For one must not pick them apart, that is cheating the dreams; - one must let the breeze and chance bind them to their wings and perhaps, perhaps - carry each and every one off into the sky. and maybe, the wish will come true. Because, all I ever really want for anyone is happiness. True happiness, the kind you get when you see a big June sky, and all of your friends within it. and all this I thought in an instant as away the seeds blew, off into the wind, maybe to the stars to make wishes no longer mere dreams; - and I continued on the path. - -SM, december 31, 1998 love, sam the ? angel moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1998 18:58:37 -0500 From: mandabear4@juno.com (Mandabear four) Subject: [none] Hey all, I wanted to wish everyone a very happy new year. I love all those seen and unseen. So much has changed this year. I wait in eager scariness to find out how the new year will begin and continue. Everyone has had their ups and downs, their fights with loved and unloved ones, maybe evne fights with themselves. I am here to say let go of the past. This is the future. Our past experiences influence how we act but we are responsible for who we become in the future. Hey Abby and anyone else living in the Norwich area, Do any of you happen to have the soundtrack to Les Miserables that I could borrow to tape? I want to learn the song "On my Own." I heard it again for the second time last night and I wanted to cry. I love that song. If not, that's okay but I would really love to hear the song again. Semper te amo amica. <3 always ~Mandabear~ "And there are times I'd rather kill you than listen to your honesty " -Garth Brooks- "If you die in a hundred days, I want to die in a hundred days minus one so I never have to live a day without you." - -Winnie the Pooh ________________________________________________________________ Get secure free e-mail that you don't need Web access to use from Juno, the world's second largest online service. Download your free software at http://www.juno.com/getit.b.html. ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1998 15:25:03 PST From: "Erin Benoit" Subject: ET: Need your input.... Hi! I have a question to put forth to ye EDA gallery...(hee hee) What does one do when the following occurs: I am 19 years old, graduated high school in June 1998, and by August 1st was kicked out of my parents house. I went to another province (I'm from Canada) and mooched off a friend for awhile until I got so home sick that my Dad came and got me. Lived at home until December 4, 1998 and then moved in with a good friend and her roommates. I did not sign a lease and thought nothing of it, and was under the impression that rent was not due until Dec 30th. Well around the 14th is when it was due and I didn't have the whole $250, only $50. So I borrowed $200 from one of the roomies and promised to pay him back ASAP. (yes I'm famous for making a long story longer...hang in there) Anyways he was actually acting landlord because it is his parents house. When he went on vacation on the 22nd, the other roomies including my good friend turned on me. They started pushing me around, they actually threw all my belongings out in the snowbank when I was home for Christmas, they changed the locks, and police were called many times. So now, the "landlord" is back and told me that his parents were making up a new lease agreement and things calmed down for a few days. Then I ventured out cautiously locking my door to my room and went for a walk to get food and get money for utility bills. I ended up taking the wrong bus into a near by city and went to my parents office for help. When I got there I found out that the 'Landlord' not ten minutes after I left dropped my stuff off at my parents house including my two very precious bunnies, and left. So I went with my Dad to my place and they had changed the locks again and would not answer the doorbell. I continued to knock until my blood was all over the door, then knocked some more. I admit this was extreme but I really have nowhere else to go since I am no longer permitted at my parents home. I think they called the police so we went away for a little while and came back later...the police never showed. So I called the police and told them that my roomies wouldn't let me in. They finally sent not one but three police cars to the house. The landlord came out and I spent the night...you guessed it....in jail. For breach of peace. I have no other friends in this province and very little money to my name. What do I do? Please help if think you have any ideas...tonight isn't a problem, just find a party right? They'll (anyone) be too drunk to notice one more guest....So what are your thoughts? You are my last hope, next to a sheltar. Private email me @ Erin_Benoit@hotmail.com *********************************************************** "Let your words enslave no one and the heavens will hush themselves to hear our voices ring out clear" ~ Jewel Kilcher, 'Life Uncommon' Angel of the Zodiac ************************************************************ ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1998 23:58:01 -0500 From: Robby VanSciver Subject: ET: Happy new year! I want to wish you all a safe, healthy, wonderful 1999. ^_^ ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #328 **********************************