From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #269 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Wednesday, November 4 1998 Volume 01 : Number 269 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: some stuff [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Charlie, Andalite, & The Goddess)] ET: kat's poems [mandabear4@juno.com (Mandabear four)] [none] [mandabear4@juno.com (Mandabear four)] ET: poems :) [zerocool@sunlink.net (Niki)] ET: Wendy's Salsa sux!!!! [Mike Connell ] ET: high school. [winters ] ET: Aloha from Amsterdam [RatsRebyc@aol.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 3 Nov 1998 22:19:20 -0800 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Charlie, Andalite, & The Goddess) Subject: ET: some stuff Here are some recent/new poems. I hope you like them. Love Sam the ? angel sm, end of oct. 98 suppose I should halt get it on, get it going we move on and don't look behind us leaving in our fallen footsteps pieces that, if we stop and think, will ping to pieces memories and stop our rapid hearts yeah, if we let ourselves, we'll just keep on moving on and forget those who we cherished in a moment's laughter *** sm nov 2 98: tales of a heart-strung love poem ...'and I'm in love with you' he said 'just like the trees love the wind and cannot live without it, you are my trunk, and you flow through me like sap.' 'I cannot breath without your lips giving me the air, warm and sweet out of you; I cannot dream without you in it, more lovely than gardens, like moonlight and like the wi nd; nor can I taste the morning and dance in the rain without you by my side gleaming and glowing like a star that I caught by pure luck of fate of the heavens from above - you pulse warmer than my blood yet you run closer than it to my heart' and his eyes danced so truly seeing only the love that was his life before him; the words were yet flowers, transformed only briefly from emotion back to feeling so that it almost was unsaid - so brilliantly did his eyes glow. 'and I could never imagine a sky without you pressing into me, you are softer than the velvet lilacs in your arms - your essence is strung through the pearls of your hair and into my fingers. For,' he breathed steam, 'you are the light pouring forth from the tips of wildflower petals-' and he kissed her with a deepness that rattled the soul of a wandering beam of sunshine *** sm nov 2 98: exposed her robe falls open & she shows far more than a bra - she bares her soul. opening up to the world, to vulnerability, becoming whole, while also risking the teeth of society for her slender body & the love that she lets loose *it can frighten people* she lets go & shows it all, - a smooth stomach, however imperfect and dreams, inspirations, strong viewpoints she takes a chance with her life, by exposing the sweet & the wrong all in one - bravery, depth of soul and the model shows emptiness she walks, a stick waif from a supposed paradise of cameras and of manufactured moonlight the starvation, & she exposes her shallow soul, so used to being shallow her shallow soul, so depthless that the rain bounces off of it and the despair echoes off the magazines on which she reigns showing sadness, in painted eyebrows & a longing that knows no knowledge and isn't even conscious of its pain society bears burdens of souls, - souls it has created, and souls who have lived in spite of it exposed, society sits, a clump of furiously rushing, scared shitless, confused masses whose only grasp is that they can convince themselves that they know what they're doing society exposed trembles in the glaring spotlight, yet still boldly steps forward, daring its neon messages, dragging its empty captives behind, in their self-created chains exposed, a flower creates innocence for not trying to hide anything, only to glow in the sun and feed to live - not pretending, only being what it is because it cannot pretend and showing that - - - a flower will never be society, no matter how much we may try society, however, was once a flower & the model, struggling & dying on a billion grocery store stands, will not break free, as long as society is fed by sickening desires & ideals formed by the masses that surround the open girl exposed, so differently from her sister model, who shows a sickening lack of soul & clothing, exposed, who protects herself with honesty with innocence *** sm nov 2 98 life, is simply life it cannot always shower you with silver tears shining in a pale golden sun - nor will it be forever a sour taste in your mouth that brings forth salty tears of pain, to merge with the lonely sea life can twist her lovely rainbows, into a spiraling maze of confusion & doubt and make you wonder at the starburst of flowers you see remaining before you life - she isn't always kind, to beings like you and me - indeed, we often wonder how life can let even one heart break much less let us cut a trillion trees and sweep away the amazon like dust off our cars life should stop us, right? stop us from driving the black tar, from walking the paved sidewalks, living caffinated and shattering souls in a butterfly's wingspan flutter mindless, grasping for real and life can also kiss us she touches the wound, pounding with saddened rain of agony, and heals the desolation found there she moves through the air in the larks and the churning rainbow evens out again life is and always will be just that simply, but so complex only that, no less, no more, is life *** cruelty on a weekday morning sm nov 2 98 but darling, he hesitated, pure & true radiant angel that lights the highway as she flies by on her fairy wings- you are *too* for me, and he sipped his coffee from a plastic cup beaming with golden arches - -not seeing, - -not believing, - -only smelling the purple flowers - -that still lay, fresh in her open palms - - -and the morning air, the oblivious traffic - -unknowing of all suffering - -unfamiliar with longing, or radiant angels he seemed unconcerned that, and she painted like Georgia O'Keefe seemingly, it was business as usual - briefcases and coffee, and the most dazzlingly beautiful poetic words flowing from such lips that were bluntly naive how much was left unknown moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 4 Nov 1998 17:01:04 -0500 From: mandabear4@juno.com (Mandabear four) Subject: ET: kat's poems Kat!!!! You are the best when it comes to words!! My goodness. I read Blame the other day and i'm now responding to it. That is my life exactly!! Wow! I think we have a lot in common. It's weird. See, it's kinda a little bit easier for me though. I can choose when I leave my house because i am in foster care. The mother that I refer to is my foster mother. I call her mom though. I have been here for 2 years and believe me, I have felt like Blame many a times. This is so great! I mean, I'm sorry you have the feelings to write about this subject but you convey your words perfectly. wow!! Write back. I think we have much to talk about. Um, email me at Mandabear4@juno.com if not through smoe. TTYL. <3 always ~Mandabear~ Somewhere down the road there'll be answers to the questions. Somewhere down the road though we cannot see it now. Somewhere down the road you'll find mighty arms reaching for you. And they will hold the answers at the end of the road. -Amy Grant- ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 4 Nov 1998 18:15:05 -0500 From: mandabear4@juno.com (Mandabear four) Subject: [none] Maggie, I know what it's like to move. Believe me, I've moved 22 times in almost 16 years. The farthest I've ever moved was 2500 miles..from Connecticut to Tucson Arizona. That was really hard for me. I was about 10 when I moved there and ended up moving back to Ct. when i was 12. It's hard to move and I know how you feel about being happy one minute and sad the next. I've been diagnosed with clinical depression and I have post traumatic stress disorder(don't we all?) so I know what it's like. Every time you think you're ahead you realize that you are still way too far behind. If you want to talk more I'll be happy to talk. I'm pretty good at giving advice and i am an excellent listener. My email is Mandabear4@juno.com TTYL <3 always ~Mandabear~ the bear angel Somewhere down the road there'll be answers to the questions. Somewhere down the road though we cannot see it now. Somewhere down the road you'll find mighty arms reaching for you. And they will hold the answers at the end of the road. -Amy Grant- ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 4 Nov 1998 18:52:12 -0500 From: zerocool@sunlink.net (Niki) Subject: ET: poems :) I got inspired by reading everyone's poems... -Niki :) Untitled The sky was once filled With white fluffy clouds Backlit by the glowing sun And my heart was once filled With a love and admiration for you Making me smile, even in my sleep But the sky turned black It grew colder with time Tiny cold stars providing the only light And my heart grew darker towards you It grew darker with time Only a faint glow provided by dimming memories But you didn't notice The change in the sky Let alone the change in my heart Because you didn't care... You didn't take the time to notice or care... So to hell with you. Route 80 Everytime I'm on that highway I'll be riding shotgun In your 98 deep green 'Stang Listening to our "Ghetto Music" You'll be doing 80 And not really paying attention Talking to me, saying track 2 Is my song and everytime I hear that song I'll be on that highway Riding shotgun In your 98 deep green 'Stang You'll be right there beside me Laughing at everything And teasing me about stupid things Fake You're the plastic flowers In someone's home... Beautiful to look at Making innocent people smile But for those who know What you're all about... Well...you aren't as special As you think you are You'll always be second To those who are real And not just pretty on the outside Someday someone will Get tired of dusting you off And they'll get rid of you And you'll be gone And you'll be sorry For taking advantage of those Innocent people Untitled I saw your picture today, Downtown in a window, You know-promoting the photographer. There was a blue ribbon Wrapped around the corner of the frame... Bright blue Contrasting nice with the Dark and shadowy backround But this is all Stupid meaningless details.... Dumb information... I'll forget it soon... But I won't forget your eyes Staring blankly into the distance Or your mouth with that borderline frown And I began to wonder... ************************ Live For Today Dream For Tomorrow Learn From Yesterday ************************ ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 04 Nov 1998 22:30:14 -0500 From: Mike Connell Subject: ET: Wendy's Salsa sux!!!! OK...I just need some support here....I ain't been this depressed in ages :-( So there I was, chatting with a few EDAs on AOL when the hunger pangs got to me.....I was starving, absolutely starving....CHILI!! I gotta have chili....I MUST have chili....chili, chili, chili.......I went to Wendys'....Wendy's has chili....Wendy's has GOOD chili (not as good as my dad's, but good none-the-less)....got two large chili's to go.....got some hot sauce with them too....hot sauce, hot sauce, hot sauce.....on the way home, I smelled chili....chili, chili, chili.....I got home, and not a moment too soon.....mixed in the hot sauce.....hmmmm, hmmmm, good....I started to eat my chili......something is wrong....something is terribly, terribly wrong.....I looked.....I stirred....I stirred some more.....and was shocked.....no meat....ZERO....WHERE'S THE BEEF?????.....quickly I grabbed the second chili....no meat....nada......I now essentially have 30oz of salsa in front of me :-( and I'm starving The horror.....the horror...... Mike "Dave is a dead man" Connell : \ / Wendy's salsa sux : -- o -- / : / \ / : .---. .---. : / \ @ / \ : / / / \( ) / \ \ \ : ////// / ' ` --\\\\ : / / / / : : --\ \ \ \ : // / / / /` \ --\\ \ \\ : / / / / / / . . . \ \ \ \ \ \ ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 04 Nov 1998 23:34:52 -0800 From: winters Subject: ET: high school. GRADUATION 18 years. 18 fucking years of this. and what have a become? i don't stand out in the class of 99, that would be a lie to say that i hold some sort of amazing spark. didn't even bother with any sports teams and i got annoyed with drama. high school seemed like some sort of joke to me. like some sort of game. i never took it seriously and my college applications prove that. it's strange seeing some of these kids getting ready to leave the state. unlike me, they call this town home and have lived here for 18 winters. they know what this place is like in all differnet conditions. i see some kids leaving to the army and shaving theirs heads. others are gonna just float around. i keep being asked, "what are you gonna do now that you getting decide?". i can't answer that. for a back up plan i just say journalism. it sounds nice and sometimes i really am interested in that. but the same response always comes, "long hours and no money". so now i guess i'll just say i wanna be a doctor with my C average scores. no one wants to bursts a future doctors bubble. i saw my gown today, it's bright blue and looks horrible on. the strange thing is, i don't think i've ever thought of graduation day. i never thought it could possibly even come. but now they are telling us how to walk down the aisle and how to hold a diploma. everything seems so final. the last homecoming, the last first day, the last prom, the last everything. i wonder what life will be like without lettermens jackets, cheerleaders to pick on, rumors to bitch about. i keep wondering, will people still wear that class ring? are we even going to be proud to be leaving? suddenly those days skipping and those hours of just sleeping in class are coming back to haunt me. perhaps i should have gotten to know things better. not because of the grade increase or nice attendence record, but so i could get a feel for this place. so that i could tell my children that things were alright. and things were alright in high school, but it's nice that now i can take a deep breath in and say, senior year is worth all those crappy years in between. kat ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 24 Oct 1998 13:00:41 EDT From: RatsRebyc@aol.com Subject: ET: Aloha from Amsterdam Aloha, Well I'm back and boy are the Dutch people happy about that. It all started the first morning in Amsterdam; our plan was to go out for a quick coffee and then tour the country. The Dutch were not impressed when we expected this to take "all day." We had only a week to see Europe so we chose the Benelux countries; and Andorra, San Marino and Lichtenstein. Holland is windmills, canals, wooden shoes and old cities. And more. It turns out that a coffee shop in Amsterdam is not exactly what you might expect. Sure there's a big sign that says "Coffee Shop" and you step inside to tables and a bar. Sitting down one might notice the unusual decor, except that it's early and your sleepy eyes can't focus. A waitress, she seems strangely diffident, hands you a menu and says "Ja Ja" when you order "Koffee Ahl-stu-bleeft." No that's not some crazy concoction, it's how you say please in Dutch. Any how the words on the menu seemed to float around, familiar yet foreign. Hell, we're in Holland, they talk funny here. No problem. A little coffee and we'll figure this menu out. The Shop was aromatic, and with more than java. It was a familiar smell and as it came to us what it was that it was, the words on the menu wound into crisp focus. "Super Skunk-15G; Northern Lights-20G; Nepalese Temple Ball-20G." What in Hellizick is going on here? It was what it was and all quite legal here in Holland. We ordered a la carte from the menu, basically all the carte, along with rolling papers and a pipe, and proceeded to inhale breakfast. It was a lengthy repast and afterwards we stepped outside and into the nearest canal. This is a travel tip, Amsterdam Objective #1: do not fall into the canals. We would still be swimming if it were not for the large and legal Red-Light District in Amsterdam. Things turned out fine as beautiful women were instantly on the spot with towels and blankets. Though it did cost 50 guilders each half hour, the towel-off was very professional. The next day found us in Belgium where the coffee shops are more like Dunkin' Donuts and we held our own until afternoon when we ran into their local brews; these beers are about four times as potent as Americano beer. We then stepped outside and, of course, into the canal. Here we observed that the Red-Light District in Brussells was much smaller than in Amsterdam and apparently some distance away. We were left to swim for it and decided that we would be happy to leave Brussels and be in Luxemburg in the morning. Luxemburg turned out to be bad news and good news. It turns out everyone was on vacation; but they left the key under the mat. There are no canals here but plenty of castles and by late afternoon we'd stumbled into a moat. The next morning we stopped at a French tourist bureau to get info and directions to Andorra, San Marino and Lichtenstein. The French acted as only French can act; they were rude, inhospitable, snobby and made like they couldn't speak the language; even when we spoke French. We argued with them for the final four days of our vacation and got nowhere. Nowhere except when we asked "If you are going to insult us, could you please do it in our native language." To this they were quick to comply. Ja Ja, Jeff P.S. Amsterdam is the place! 8 days there was not enough, I may go right back. You can believe everything you read about Amsterdam and you still won't believe it! The rest of the Northern Europe was excellent as well. Elsewise I am getting itchy feet, it's time to find a job and it may be time to move. Maybe NYC, maybe someplace else, maybe overseas again. If anyone has some hints on where, let me know! And the same old stuff has been updated at ---> AlienStock and the Nervous Nineties . And It's getting another update soon 'cause I'm goofing off this week. (Http://members.aol.com/AppleAlien) ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #269 **********************************