From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #161 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Monday, August 31 1998 Volume 01 : Number 161 Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: [Summer Burton ] FW: ET: Sex......... good or bad? a girl question [Karen Miller ] ET: Attitude [Summer Burton ] Re: ET: attitude ["Seth D. Fulmer" ] Re: ET: Sex......... good or bad? a girl question ["Daniel Ödling" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 30 Aug 1998 23:03:41 -0500 From: Summer Burton Subject: ET: I just had to post this beautiful, short little poem my guy friend wrote for me in my yearbook. I'm going to read it whenever I feel lonely and sad - When you weep in such great sorrow it will not last long for love will always come tomorrow and then you will be strong. by Naimon Rigby. Isn't that pretty? Love, Summer ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 30 Aug 1998 21:27:45 -0700 From: Karen Miller Subject: FW: ET: Sex......... good or bad? a girl question well guess what mike? i dont care. sex is what life is about and if you dont know about at age 12 you are seriouly deprived of life!!!!! Holly, There are many boys and girls as young as 12 on the Jewel list, and I imagine a few of them are on THIS list too. Please don't post again asking such things. Mike ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1998 01:17:22 EDT From: ICURMINE@aol.com Subject: Re: ET: poems I didn't write Shel Silverstien is the bomb!!! I heard some of the best poems by him on Doctor Demento!!!! Sarah Silvia Synthia Stout, would not take the garbage out!!! Tim the paper angel ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1998 01:34:06 -0400 (Eastern Daylight Time) From: kara garbe Subject: Re: ET: attitude > The longer I live the more I realize the impact I have on life. > It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than > circumstances, than failures, than successess, than what other people say or > think or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. The > remarkable thing is--we have a choice every day of our lives regarding the > attitude we embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot > change the fct that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the > inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one strength that we > have, and that is our attitude...I'm convinced that life is 10% what happens > to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you. > ~Charles Swindell~ that's wonderful ideally... but what happens when you lack the will to do that? when you don't know how to change how you feel? and what about when circumstances don't warrant that attitude... when everything is going wrong... isn't it false to just plaster on a smile and pretend life is grand and perfect? don't you have to go with both the highs and the lows in order to be true to yourself and really work through everything that you experience? i'm not trying to argue; i'm seriously posting these as questions. my friend last year used to always tell me to be happy, but sometimes i'm just not, and i don't see the point in forcing myself to smile or "focus on the good! look at the big picture!" isn't that like turning a blind eye to your problems? Kara _____________________________________________________ "Selfishness and separation have led me to believe that the world is not my problem, the world is not my problem i am the world and you are the world" --live "10,000 years (peace is now)" ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1998 00:57:31 -0500 From: Summer Burton Subject: ET: Attitude > that's wonderful ideally... but what happens when you lack the will > to do that? when you don't know how to change how you feel? and > what about when circumstances don't warrant that attitude... when > everything is going wrong... isn't it false to just plaster on a > smile and pretend life is grand and perfect? don't you have to go > with both the highs and the lows in order to be true to yourself > and really work through everything that you experience? I agree that plastering on a smile is a bad idea. In fact, it's a major pet peeve of mine when guys constantly tell me that I "have" to cheer up. But there's a difference between being happy all the time and having a positive outlook. I might be sobbing and really upset abotu a particular thing, but I might sitll be optomistic about life in general, and with the way I approach situations. As far as "when everything is going wrong", I totally sympathize with that feeling but it's good to put things in perspective. Jsut the fact that we are here, in America, with computers, internet access, enough intelligence to figure it out, etc, etc, etc, etc, puts us way ahead of MOST other people in the world. Consider yourself super-lucky to just be here. A lot of people consider our lives, even if it's going really badly, absolute heaven. I think it's kind of disrespectful to those people if we don't apprieceate and stay grateful for what we've got. - -Summer http://www.bga.com/~melissab "These are the days to remember." -10,000 Maniacs ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1998 08:02:25 -0400 From: "Seth D. Fulmer" Subject: Re: ET: attitude At 01:34 AM 8/31/98 -0400, kara garbe wrote: >to do that? when you don't know how to change how you feel? and ... >smile and pretend life is grand and perfect? don't you have to go >with both the highs and the lows in order to be true to yourself >and really work through everything that you experience? ... >my friend last year used to always tell me to be happy, but >sometimes i'm just not, and i don't see the point in forcing myself >to smile or "focus on the good! look at the big picture!" isn't >that like turning a blind eye to your problems? I don't think you should so much as "be" happy...as long as you project a happy face while you're with your friends. I mean...if they can't do anything about it...why put them through the sad person routine. Nobody likes to be around a person who is more concerned with the problems they're having than with having fun with their friends. I mean...no offense to anyone but that's what I've been told my entire life and I've heard it told to other people as well...plus, I've found it true. Whenever I'm in a group of friends, several times there was a person who was depressed, frustrated, or angry and wouldn't resign himself to have fun with the rest of us. There's only so much you can do to help solve the problem with them...after that, the person either has to choose the problem or the "fun-having group". Also, if you're sad and you don't want to put a happy face on just for the purpose of looking happy...ask for help. Anyhow, enough rambling...Have a Scrumdiddilydumptious day! :) P.S. I'm in a fantastic mood...I get to meet my cousin in person today rather than over email for over a year) Seth Fulmer mailto:usfulmer@mcs.drexel.edu mailto:st96t879@post.drexel.edu mailto:kaosking@voicenet.com webpages: http://www.voicenet.com/~kaosking Cool Quotes and stuff :) "I come tonight I come to know The way we are The way we'll go." - "Thick As Thieves", Natalie Merchant ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1998 16:14:43 +0200 From: "Daniel Ödling" Subject: Re: ET: Sex......... good or bad? a girl question > Alright answer me this....... is sex ok to want? Yes, it's natural to want it. > Is it ok for a girl to want to get laid or to be kissed. To give a BJ to be eaten? Yes, and it is ok for a girl to say that she wants it. > To be sexy and erotic? All girls are sexy and erotic... > To have forplay and to be nasty? Sex with forplay is much much much much better than sex without forplay... Being nasty is as much ok as being sweet is... - -- Daniel "the swedish angel with a broken heart" Ödling mailto:daniel.odling@botkyrka.mail.telia.com KeyID: 2048/1024/AFAE53F3 Fingerprint: E2DD FBE8 ED32 7A67 31E9 995E 0245 F7E0 AFAE 53F3 ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1998 17:02:10 +0200 From: "Dr. RomeAntic" Subject: ET: I caught up and now I'm ready to post some myself! Whoa! Here I am... finally caught up with everything... A big smooch *SMOOOOOOOCH* to Sam and Jamie... thank you so much... love ya both! :)) OK... before I start on some older issues I gotta go at this new one, provided by Holly, which is just provocative enough for me... And I really don't see the reason why this should be a taboo topic!!!! When are we all gonna grow up and realize it's just as much a part of life as it's playing B-Ball and fixing makeup and other everyday stuff!! Children won't get corrupted if they know about sex as soon as they care what that is... I know I was kept in the dark till about age 10-12, don't really remember... and even then it was up to me to figure out what everything is all about... and since my parents had no way of discussing this with me... it was up to overhearing things that your friends or classmates talk about and you pretend to know what's that all about and trying to explain it to yourself... of course my parents found a different way to handle it... kinda sleazy... *Lol*... they bought this book that had pretty much everything about sex and love(-making) in it and put casually on the shelf... and of course there was a day when I noticed it... I thought it was a bit late, but it turned to be quite an interesting reading... it sure put things in much clearer perspective. My life didn't change just cause I knew about it... I was still the same, rather smarter I think... it's NOT knowing that can get us all in trouble... if we confront the children with the facts soon enough this wouldn't be much of a problem... However I think we are slowly getting there, schools are more open to this topic and more parents discuss it more openly and sooner with children... (now I'm not saying that should necessarily be at age 2 - whenever it actually depends on the child) We absolutely have to get more comfortable with our sexuality and needs that are present in every human being... just get over ourselves... the age of BIRDS AND THE BEES should stop... let's rather just talk about it... I'm sure this day and age everybody knows about it... only talking about it and discussing it seems unacceptable to public. OK... I've said enough BS for now... now to Holly's post... I know I'm not a girl... but still... > Did you know that there is a type of chemical that is produced when > girls have sex which bonds them to that man and thats why woman cant > be like men and have sex with different woman every night. THAT is pure bull OK... I don't know where you got that... but I personally know females who'd laugh at you and ask you if you picked that up in a girlie magazine??? (I'm not talking about working girls here - although they could be an example that it's not true - nobody can be so masochistic to have their harts broken once or more a night!!!) And I also know men who just would never consider that way of life and would after sex really feel connected to the girl (me included - ain't I a hero *shoves his finger down the throat*... ah it's just me :)). I'm not trying to mock you or anything, I'm just trying to put another perspective to this so you can think about it. What you mentioned is pure stereotyping (this time with an excuse of chemical type) which I can't stand... especially since even I get tricked into it sometimes, and it's sad. So what I'm saying is... either there is no hormone or not everybody has it... I'd go with the first option, in which case that is all about our personality and values we have... I'm not saying any way is better or worse... we should follow our way and on other hand be careful who we get involved with... "too many broken hearts in the world" :)) > is sex ok to want? Is it ok for a girl to want to get laid or to be > kissed. To give a BJ to be eaten? To be sex and erotic? To have > foreplay and to be nasty? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *disgusted face* I mean that is so nasty, how can a girl possibly think something like that! *laughs* OK seriously... why wouldn't it be OK? Some people don't feel such need for sex... some have it stronger than we can imagine... but we all have something in us that intrigues us about sex. Of course... unless we are as children taught or left believe that it is something disgusting!!! *shrug* All that certainly is more than OK... you just have to be clear with yourself what you want... if you're not sure take it slowly... step by step... actually it can even be better that way in any case... whatever the case there is always one issue that we all have to consider... be careful who we go down with... it's just a part of all the safe sex you've all be hearing about, and that's no bull it really is better to be safe than sorry! OK... so that was all for now from Dr. Ruth! *LOL* there are some other things I wanted to write about... but this took long enough... I'll write another post later!! - -- Have fun and stay beautiful Dr. RomeAntic, an angel with the worst stroke of luck "I could be your see of sand, I could be your warmth of desire I could be your prayer of hope, I could be your gift of every day I could be your tide oh heaven, I could be a hint of what's to come I could be your ordinary, I could be the one I could be your blue eyed angel, I could be the storm before the calm I could be your secret pleasure, I could be your well-wishing well I could be your breath of life, I could be your European dream I could be your ordinary, I could be the one" Donna Lewis / I Could Be The One / Blue Angel Catch Dr. RomeAntic's cyber image @ http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Metro/2009 ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1998 11:02:30 -0400 From: "Kevin Pease" Subject: ET: Re: Sex......... good or bad? a girl question > Alright here i have 2 things to say first. Did you know that > there is a type of chemical that is produced when girls have > sex which bonds them to that man and that's why woman > cant be like men and have sex with different woman every > night. Hey now! :) You're right... the chemical that does this is called oxytocin (if I'm remembering properly from my physiology class... I might have the wrong chemical in mind... :), and it helps to cause that sort of "warm fuzzy" feeling when you're with someone you dig. :) >Alright answer me this....... is sex ok to want? [...] reply at >will Yes, it's a normal & healthy part of being human... it's nothing to be afraid of, although I would say that there are certain pre-requisites (a certain maturity level, an appropriate, mature, consenting partner) that should be met before actually *having* sex... and, at the risk of sounding old-fashioned (ah, hell, I am old-fashioned... why should I worry about sounding that way? :), it should also be shared between two people who love each other. Kevin - ---------- Kevin Pease kbpease@boston.crosswinds.net (ICQ UIN: 3106063) (AOL Instant Messenger: kbpease) http://www.crosswinds.net/boston/~kbpease "Sometimes I sing like my life is at stake, 'cause you're only as loud as the noises you make..." ---(Ani DiFranco)--- ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1998 11:06:23 -0400 From: "Kevin Pease" Subject: Re: ET: Sex......... good or bad? a girl question >well guess what mike? i dont care. sex is what life is about and if >you dont know about at age 12 you are seriouly deprived of life!!!!! Mike does have a bit of a point, though... some people (and their parents, as well... :) may be offended seeing this stuff on an email list they (or their kids) belong to. This discussion *might* be more appropriate for private emails... that way, only those who are truly interested have to see it. Some parents don't want their kids hearing about this stuff just yet, and I don't imagine they'd appreciate us giving a public, informal class. Kevin - ---------- Kevin Pease kbpease@boston.crosswinds.net (ICQ UIN: 3106063) (AOL Instant Messenger: kbpease) http://www.crosswinds.net/boston/~kbpease "Sometimes I sing like my life is at stake, 'cause you're only as loud as the noises you make..." ---(Ani DiFranco)--- ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1998 11:22:06 -0400 From: "Kevin Pease" Subject: Re: ET: attitude >> kara garbe writes: >that's wonderful ideally... but what happens when you lack the will >to do that? when you don't know how to change how you feel? and >what about when circumstances don't warrant that attitude... There's nothing wrong with feeling a certain way... attempting to second-guess your own emotions is sort of pointless, and doesn't really serve any purpose. If you feel a certain way, you feel a certain way... you can't (on a whim) change how you feel. >when everything is going wrong... isn't it false to just plaster on a >smile and pretend life is grand and perfect? don't you have to go >with both the highs and the lows in order to be true to yourself >and really work through everything that you experience? Yes... but I think that what that passage was really saying was, accept things like that with a bit of equanimity & perspective. Don't become so wrapped up in feeling bad that you refuse to see the good around you at the same time. To me, at least, that passage says, "Take the good with the bad, and remember this, too, shall pass." You shouldn't be plastering a false smile on your face, if you feel bad, you feel bad... but also, while you're feeling bad, keep in mind that there's still stuff out there worth feeling good about... >i'm not trying to argue; i'm seriously posting these as questions. >my friend last year used to always tell me to be happy, but >sometimes i'm just not, and i don't see the point in forcing myself >to smile or "focus on the good! look at the big picture!" isn't >that like turning a blind eye to your problems? In a sense, yes... and while those little slogans never make you feel any better, they are sort of true, at the same time... in a "get some perspective" sense, it *can* always be at least a little worse... there's a song called "Ships That Don't Come In," with a line that goes like this: "'Cause the things we're calling heartache, Oh, they're hardly worth our time; we bitch about a dollar, when there's those without a dime..." Now, I'm not saying that the fact that it could be worse makes your problems any less painful, but I think part of getting through a lot of problems is coming to the realization that it's not the end of the world... I think the attitude thing should be more about accepting things with a bit of grace & dignity, rather than "plaster a false smile on your face, and pretend everything's fine." Problems will always happen, and pain will always hurt... but the thing to remember through all that is (to borrow a line from little orphan Annie), "The sun'll come out tomorrow..." Kevin - ---------- Kevin Pease kbpease@boston.crosswinds.net (ICQ UIN: 3106063) (AOL Instant Messenger: kbpease) http://www.crosswinds.net/boston/~kbpease "Sometimes I sing like my life is at stake, 'cause you're only as loud as the noises you make..." ---(Ani DiFranco)--- ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #161 **********************************