From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #152 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Tuesday, August 25 1998 Volume 01 : Number 152 Today's Subjects: ----------------- Re: ET: Re: "perfect" ["Kevin Pease" ] Re: ET: SAM IS BAAA-AAACK!!!!!!!!! [Seth Fulmer ] ET: a poem for you lovely angels [Oblivia15@aol.com] Re: ET: Re: "perfect" [zerocool@sunlink.net (Niki)] ET: prizes for pythons [genben@usa.net] ET: observation [kara garbe ] Re: ET: SAM IS BAAA-AAACK!!!!!!!!! [Angeljlb96@aol.com] ET: good about me [kara garbe ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1998 13:40:23 -0400 From: "Kevin Pease" Subject: Re: ET: Re: "perfect" >> Seth D. Fulmer writes: >I don't make myself unlovable to the general public but if I'm trying to >break through someone's defenses, I'd do anything...you name it...if it >would get past their defenses. So I take this to mean that you would hurt them, if you needed to? I'm having a great deal of difficulty understanding why you seem so intent on "breaking through" peoples' "defenses." What's in it for you? What do you gain from ruining somebody's day? >I could care less if they think I'm loveable. In most times, if I notice >people getting annoyed at my presence...like I'm talking too much or in the >way, then I have 2 actions I do depending on my mood...One is to increase >my annoying activity and talk more...be more in the way...etc. The 2nd is >to go into hiding because I'm being annoying. If they don't want me >around, that's cool with me. But, doesn't the way you act show just how much you really DO care about whether or not they think you're loveable? Any response to their annoyance would be caring about their opinion in some way. Intensifying the annoyance, or removing it completely... both are responses to their annoyance, which just goes to prove you do care what they think. And I doubt you're as "cool" with being blown off as you seem to come across. Nobody likes to be told they're annoying or bothersome. >If someone is radiating a good quality, I search for their weakness so that >I can bring them down and humble them. Then I go about my business like >nothing happened. So even if they've done absolutely nothing to warrant this, you'll attack them, and then continue on in a totally remorseless, carefree manner? Or is it that simply having that good quality is enough to arouse your "wrath"? If so, I think you really need to do a little bit of soul-searching, and figure out just why you're so jealous of people who have any sort of good characteristic. >I have no clue what that was about exactly. if "he" was referring to me, >my environment refers to my personality and I do try to keep people out of >my personality and from knowing too much about me. However, what I >wouldn't give for someone who could see past my walls and see who I really >am. The person would be really dear to me. Actually, that was about the hypothetically "perfect" human who has complete control over his environment. Your stance here is, much like a lot of your previous statements, completely contradictory - you go out of your way to block people out of yourself, and ensure that they can't see too much of what's going on inside you. And then you want somebody who can see past all that. What you're asking for is a logical impossibility - if you're busy blocking people out, how are they supposed to see in? >It is?!? I use it as more...Whenever a female is getting thoroughly on my >nerves, I say the same thing but with females in it. Wait, you seriously didn't realize that "Men - you can't live with them, you can't shoot them," is a joke? I've generally heard it said when somebody's getting irritated, but it's still a joke. The person isn't actually saying, "Give me a Glock, and I'll cap this sucker." >I know at least 2 dozen females and every single one of them are like this. > I haven't bought into any stereotypes except for looking at the females to >see if this was true about them. Wow... 2 dozen. That's quite a large sample. Seth, if you're generalizing about women (of whom there are approximately 2.5 billion on this planet, give or take a million or so?) from an observed sample size of 24 women, then your generalization is absolutely, totally, thoroughly, invalid. Simple as that. You're stereotyping. Of the girls you know, maybe those 24 get really irritable just before & during their periods, but you can't apply that observation to 2.5 billion other people. >In fact I outright hate people who fit stereotypes. ?? Why? If a person happens to be... well, let's say "of less than average intelligence"... and blonde, is that their fault? Why would you hate them for their genetic makeup? Would you hate that person less if they were brunette? >I actually prefer females that are more like the >stereotypical male and have a tough skin around them so to speak...someone >I can play with and not worry about hurting feelings or anything. ?? If you 'play' with your eyes & ears open, you don't have to worry about hurting feelings, either. If you're 'playing' hard enough that people are regularly getting hurt, you're playing too hard, anyway. >Well, I have to admit my friend Becki's nice as pie when she's in her >time...but she just doesn't want to talk. But my friend Sue from A Phi O >at a chapter in Arizona...The one night I was just being the same ol' self >I always am and she's saying I was asking stupid questions(when I wasn't >asking anything) and saying I was annoying....So, I "took some time off" >and when I came back I was cautious when talking to her and actually wasn't >nuts about seeing her...even though we were just friends. Hmm... so one of the 24 girls in your sample ISN'T a complete "#*#*#@!" when it's her "time"? I guess that only leaves a sample of 23 to stereotype from. >Well, I have to admit that I see what you're saying here. When I have gas, >I'm really irritable and I sung out a whole slew of curse words at a Volvo >in front of my mom the one day because I wasn't feeling well..and my mom >just looked at me..."You're not feeling well, are you Seth?".."No!" You're lucky your mom just said "you're not feeling well..." I may be 23, but my mom still would've probably threatened to wash my mouth out with soap. :) >Only for a few minutes though...Pain is something that once you learn to >accept, it's very commonplace and easy to devalue..at least for me it is. I take it you've never been kicked, or hit in any way, in the groin, then? That lasts for a LOT longer than a few minutes, it can last for days. I'll use an embarrassing example: I was playing hockey, and caught a slapshot in just the wrong spot... (luckily!) it wasn't a dead-on hit, and I had protection on... still, aside from feeling like I was going to puke for the rest of the night, there was also subsequent pain and bruising for about 3 or 4 days... which made it hard to walk, or sit, or stand, or do ANYTHING, comfortably. Pain like that is something that lasts. >How can you be nice when no matter what you do, they're always going to not >like what you do...even if you help them out. By "nice", Seth, I mean, put up with it, accept it with a smile & some understanding, and just let them vent. Yes, I've known girls who get irritable once a month. I also have learned that the best way to handle that irritability is to not say crap like, "I want to help," or "What's wrong..." just be cool, relax, and remember that it will pass. >I don't use human deficiency as an excuse for a behavior change. There >should be a way to counteract the deficiency...as pain is ignored for me I use human deficiency as an excuse for a behavior change all the time. If people around me can't hear what I'm saying, I'll speak up... If people around me can't read what I wrote, I'll write more neatly, or type... if people around me can't walk as fast I can, I'm not going to shove them out of the way and step on them, I'll slow down to walk with them, or I'll wait until there's room and time to go around them... you get the point. Everyday, you have to adjust your behavior because of your own "deficiencies" & the "deficiencies" of others. If you don't, well, you're certainly not going to win any popularity contests. >> So then be sympathetic and use those "caring, open" qualities to try to >>help her feel a little better. You're not going to change her physiology, >>and I doubt your physiology is going to change, either. So just be nice >>about it, and step lightly. >I don't have to worry about Becki but Sue is a complete ____ when in that >time...I think I'd rather go on a vacation every 28 days rather than be >nice because I'm always nice to people unless they're not nice to me. If a >female in her period wants to attack me, she can go right ahead...I treat >them just the same way. And you call yourself a sensitive & caring person? If somebody near you is irritable because they're feeling sick and/or they're in pain, you take that into account... yes, they may snap at you... that doesn't give you an excuse to snap back. As a "sensitive" and "caring" person, you should take into account *why* they're snapping at you, and not freak out because the way they feel is affecting the way they deal with you. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (or however that goes)... would you have been happy if your mom had sat there and cursed you out for 5 minutes after you cursed at the Volvo when you felt sick? Probably not. Did she curse you out? Didn't sound it from what you said... she realized, "Hmm... Seth must be feeling sick today," and responded in a caring manner. >Actually, curtseying is taught to young girls moreso but that's about it. >But bowing is done by the males, so curtseying(or something else) should be >done by females to be even...Also, I know those are cultural differences >but I still dislike them. You know, though... I've never bowed to anybody, and I certainly have never seen anybody curtsey. I'd say this (strictly cultural) difference is pretty much a moot point these days. >My date for my senior prom DID do this. She was in the bathroom more than >out on the dance floor. This actually happened. Yet another statistically valid sample. 1 girl out of 2.5 billion does this, so all the rest must. Seth, this is a horrifically overblown stereotype you're making. >Well, then explain why earlier this morning I saw a dog on the road >struggling to get to the curb and I doubled over in pain. I just continued >going until I couldn't see the dog and I just changed the subject in my mind. You actually physically doubled over in pain... but then you just kept on walking, and ignored the dog? I'd say this is an exaggerated sympathetic reaction, but that you exhibited no actual feeling of *sympathy*... Feelings aren't "switches" to be turned on and off on a whim, Seth. Sure, if I see someone or something in pain, it bothers me... but I'm not going to tell that person that I "feel" what they're feeling... I will be sympathetic, and listen to them, and try to help reduce their pain, but I still think it's arrogant and presumptuous to tell *anybody* that you "know" what they are feeling, because you aren't that person, and you can't be inside their head & inside their body and "know" what it is like from their perspective. Kevin - ---------- Kevin Pease kbpease@boston.crosswinds.net (ICQ UIN: 3106063) (AOL Instant Messenger: kbpease) http://www.crosswinds.net/boston/~kbpease "Try as I may, I could never explain, What I hear when you don't say a thing..." ---(Alison Krauss)--- ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1998 13:42:11 -0400 (EDT) From: Seth Fulmer Subject: Re: ET: SAM IS BAAA-AAACK!!!!!!!!! CAN WE SAY PAH-TAY!!!!!!!!!! :=) WAAHOO!!! Seth D. Fulmer mailto:kaosking@voicenet.com "I am 32 flavors and then some" - Alana Davis ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1998 14:00:37 EDT From: Oblivia15@aol.com Subject: ET: a poem for you lovely angels Costume Party It is not a lack of trust that makes me want you to look only my way And it is not selfishness that makes me cling to as much time with you as I can It is not anger that you see in my eyes when you have to leave And it is not a stranger that stands before you, unsmiling, as you offer apologies It is not a fault of yours that leaves me crying and full of hate And it is not stubbornness that makes me shield myself from all the sweet things you say It is not a fairness that has been dealt to you in the form of me And it is not anything that I can change It is me...... And the insecurities I have been cloaked in ~~~~~~~~~~~~~END~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jackie Vaughn 1998 Stage Angel AOL Screen Name: Oblivia15 ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1998 15:15:34 -0500 From: zerocool@sunlink.net (Niki) Subject: Re: ET: Re: "perfect" I think that some people (won't mention any names) should realize that no one is perfect, no one is going to be perfect, and that's that. Everyone should appreciate people for who they are and you shouldn't try and mold people into what you want them to be b/c that just won't work. And if you set goals for yourself you should try and reach them but if you don't-DON'T BASH YOURSELF BECAUSE OF IT! BE PROUD OF WHAT YOU DID DO AND HOW FAR YOU GOT! And when someone else reachs a goal of theirs of comes close-CONGRATULATE THEM instead of pointing out an imperfection or whatever! Oh hell people...does anyone watch the cartoon 'Daria'? On it she once said "I don't have a low self esteem, I have a low self esteem for everyone else" and I think that is all bullshit...granted I really like the show but that statement was pure bs...you shouldn't look down on anyone b/c of "imperfections" etc...you should just accept them ( and yourself for that matter) for who they are! Can't you all see that??? I am soooo sick of these e-mails between people saying things like "If someone is radiating a good quality, I search for their weakness so that I can bring them down and humble them. Then I go about my business like nothing happened." What the hell kind of statement is that?? People have the God given right to be proud of things that they do! Just because someone feels bad about themselves doesn't mean that they have to bring other people down to their level just so they can feel better about themself! Ok I am done now. Sorry if I offended anyone-I just had to get this out of my system...it's been bothering me for awhile... *^*NIKI*^* ------------------------------ Date: 25 Aug 98 15:24:25 EDT From: genben@usa.net Subject: ET: prizes for pythons Hey, You guys are fighting over the prize, but I never even told you what it was. I guess that's cause I haven't decided yet. Why don't YOU tell me what you want, and I'll see what i can do (I think that is a dangerous request.) Peanut butter and jelly, Ben ____________________________________________________________________ Get free e-mail and a permanent address at http://www.netaddress.com/?N=1 ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1998 15:30:23 -0400 (Eastern Daylight Time) From: kara garbe Subject: ET: observation is it just me, or is there a lot less poetry posted now that we have this huge discussion going? and are fewer people contributing to the discussion? is there a point where we should take things to personal email? just some things to consider, maybe i'm wrong or whatever, i just had to mention it. i don't know if people are still quitting the list, but i think that for a lot of people the volume is just getting to be too much. _____________________________________________________ "Selfishness and separation have led me to believe that the world is not my problem, the world is not my problem i am the world and you are the world" --live "10,000 years (peace is now)" ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1998 15:52:46 EDT From: Angeljlb96@aol.com Subject: Re: ET: SAM IS BAAA-AAACK!!!!!!!!! Welcome back SAM!!! We missed you so!!! Love, Jamie ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1998 15:58:42 -0400 (Eastern Daylight Time) From: kara garbe Subject: ET: good about me well i thought i'd try this, because we all need to think about the good sometimes. not poetic, just a list, or.... whatever. *~* me *~* by kara garbe *~*~*~*~*~*~* i have a musical papa smurf i make pajama pants with feet in them i have good taste in music (hehe) i collect quotes i write poetry i want to be a writer i want to make a difference i want to touch lives i think i've already begun i'm a vegetarian (not that this makes me better...) i'm very spiritual i'm finding myself-- not looking, but listening i have pretty hair i have a nice smile i've been told i'm pretty (but i think we all are, at least sometimes) i have good friends who love me and for whom i would do almost anything i'm a good listener i'm not judgmental i do things all or nothing i'm smart academically i'm pursuing what i love -- anthropology, french, religious studies -- not what will make me rich i go to the best public university in the u.s. (go uva!! :) i have dreams but i'm not afraid to change i'm idealistic but not unrealistic i'm in awe of humanity i am loved and i am not afraid to love in return i have a boyfriend i want to spend the rest of my life with i have a future that i want to be a part of and i'm not going to quit no i'm not going to quit. ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #152 **********************************