From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #124 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Tuesday, August 18 1998 Volume 01 : Number 124 Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: me again [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us)] ET: continued [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us)] ET: the 3rd [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us)] ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #122 [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us)] Re: ET: Re: all the posts on eda-thoughts-digest V1 #118 ["Seth D. Fulmer] Re: ET: Re: Everything that is me ["Seth D. Fulmer" beyond what I'm allowed to see, but as I said, it *seems to me*, that some >younger people *seem to love* coming across this way. And here, I don't You know I happen to agree with you here. On one hand, young people frequently ARE more, uh, stricken. Y'know, they've got the mood swings, passionate about each feeling, totally wrapped up in everything. On the other hand, the drama can get to yer head. So while we wittle-agers do often truly believe these mean things about ourselves, sometimes it gets, uh, exaggerated. Not accusing ANYONE, just in my experience with myself and my friends. >my belt, I can say that there really are worse ways to live than to have >unmanageable hair, or to have 10 extra pounds hanging around on your body, Of course that's true, but teens are so incredibly wrapped up in themselves and very self-focused, it's totally the point they're at in their lives. So it is quite important to them, actually, just as important as saving the world, cause they're so painfully conscious, it's like saving *their* world, if you will. We notice every little detail and stress on it, imagining that everyone else is doing the same. >yourself. What it comes down to is this: Most people look average. Most >people are of average intelligence. Most people have average personalities. Things are never usually as bad as we percieve them to be, and granted a lot of us need to change the way we think, but, at present, this is how it is, right? It's us, so of course we focus on EVERYTHING, when, in reality, it doesn't matter, or at least not as much as it does to us. There was a really great Cathy comic strip that had a picture of Cathy in a bathing suit, looking normal, it said, "what the entire population of the world sees." Then there was a picture of Cathy, same bathing suit, but with huge hips, huge thighs, she's freakin, and it says, "what the woman in the mirror sees." Then it says, "one tiny vote outrules 3 billion opinions" or something like that. It was a great point, very true, but still it doesn't change the reality of what Cathy saw..... > So, instead of reveling in our "imperfections", I think it might be a >good idea to revel in what we each do well, and in what exceptional You are so totally right. :) As of now, then, thanks to our dear true Angel Kevin :), I PROCLAIM A SECOND LETTER FOR EVERYONE: (whoah sorry for da caps there people) "What I Love About Myself". It's only natural to see what we dislike, no saying it's bad, but I myself also need to concentrate on my good qualities. So let's hear it for the Every Day Angels. Release yourselves my darlings! Show some sunshine and let yourself glow!!! >gained over the past few years... but - LOTS of people have crooked teeth; >LOTS of people wear glasses; LOTS of people are a little overweight; LOTS You're right again.....Though of course people tend to believe that they're unique in this way and be miserable because of their own idea, regardless if it's true or not. (hehe, aren't we humans vain? I'm no different from anyone else here folks.) > In other words, don't expect a whopping response from an audience when >you tell them the painfully obvious. :) Yupyup.....Though we're always hoping in the back of our minds, to hear, "oh but you're NOT plain darling! You're simply ravishing!" =P Oh my! NIKI: "Untitled" was good, I think it's about.....I dunno yet. >When Snow Falls Great poem, totally shifts back n forth with the temp changes. > >TIME (this is my favorite) really true...sweet..... And now for the next post.... moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1998 18:49:34 -0700 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us) Subject: ET: the 3rd SETH: >I see what you mean(about Barbie)...but in the same point, I am 5'4" and I >weigh 170 something. I have aspirations of weighing 100 lbs. My parents, Ummmm, Seth, I'm 5'4 and I weigh 107, and people tell me I look 90......And you're a guy....So don't you think that would be a bit much? >proceeded to insult me...so because I wasn't in the mood at the time to >just take it...I went and made her life a real difficulty. Y'know, I just cannot understand someone who does that, I mean, if you don't LIKE how someone looks, then shuddup about it already, how could she do something like that? Heh sorry peoples, just Sam's "justice-naive" side coming out.....Hehe you go Seth! =) >I remember and I know what you're saying :) But I guess my "depression" >stems from the fact that I'm a perfectionist. I want my future wife to be >a true goddess who is an angel in personality and I want myself to be >the perfect god just so that her reputation isn't flawed by being >associated with me. Wow....I hope you get what you want.....Though, y'know, don't be so hard on yourself. I mean that can lead to real disappointment in your life. And remember that even if YOU don't think you're a god, there is a girl out there who will. And you see yourself differently from the way other people do, I mean there have, I'm sure, been lots of cruel people, but try to remember the nice people too, and know they're there even if they don't speak out.... As Kevin was saying, and as I was saying, we tend to focus on the bad, but things aren't always so bad as we think they are so try not to hurt yourself further by thinking things like "her reputation isn't flawed by being associated with me." You sound bitter, you must have been through hell, but even if you think, "oh these ideas aren't new, I'm hardened, I'm used to them", the more you curse yourself, the more you sting, the more you cut. Jewel once said, she believes our hands manifest thoughts, and if we think something, it will happen, so be careful what you think. If you try to concentrate and think happily then it will begin to heal, and if you lower yourself to a dirty bulldog in an alley, you'll feel like crap. I don't mean to lecture so PLEAASE don't get defensive, I'm just saying this because I have actually done this and been totally astounded by the results....It's true. > I guess most of my complaints this entire debate(whatever) >is not about my appearance because I've learned what society wants. I'm It is sooo incredibly DIFFICULT to not surrender to what society wants (when we know it so well, or at least we think we do) and instead cater to our own needs and accept ourselves....Still struggling here....When society pulls one way it's hard to pull the other way and cut the ties. Cuz of course society will always want more.....We think we see perfect but it's never good enough....Siiiigh. >bald. But my complaints pretty much are on my personality. I guess Iris >by GooGoo Dolls fits me best. I have parts of me which scare even me and >I don't want people to see them. Anyhow, you know where I'm coming from. >I just am unsettled as to both what I want in life and how I feel about >what I get. Take care and Have a Great Day!! :) I love that song. :) I really hope things get better for ya Seth....I don't mean to undermine in ANY way your pain. Sam the ? angel and every letter I write, that angel name so fits..... P.S. Anyone agree with anything I've said so far over the past two days (like my interpretation of "WHSYS")? "I lived in my car for a year and it's because of you guys buying my album that I don't anymore. I thought I'd always steal food and steal toilet paper and I just wanna say, dreams do come true, and don't forget your own." ~Jewel, before performing "Who Will Save Your Soul"~ moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1998 18:49:24 -0700 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us) Subject: ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #122 Angulz, Ok! This is called, "Samistryingtostaywiththeswingofthings." JAMIE: >First off...how many times have I read "she looks like barbie?" Do I have to >remind you peeps of Barbie's measurements? 36-18-34...ummm...hello? you'd be >dead! Those are her measurements? For sure? Wow. What a sicko. Barbie is really disgusting. Y'know. She kinda pisses me off. :P >SAM...I liked your poems, dear =) Why thank yas sweetie. =) >See...I'm totally agreeing with Ben here. Everything on this list on this >thread so far has been "makeup sucks...blah blah blah" (and need I mention Okie Jamie, I duno if yer talkin at all bout anything I wrote buuuut I just wanna add, I wasn't saying it's BAD to wear makeup n fix yerself up, I'm just saying that for me personally...sometimes it can be too much. Superficial. >SAM... ><honks, stares, and compliments on their looks than ever before.>> Well I actually got that from the book, I don't know if it's true. I personally would think someone who was anorexic was all too skinny, but I've known guys and I wouldn't be surprised if some people were in the "skinner the better" thinking, especially friends of the anorexic who had the same mindset, or unthinking people, and especially people in high school, you know those peer pressure groups, well.....I don't know what my point is. Since I've never experienced it. >enough..."I look anorexic...I look like Fiona Apple" Granted, people still >think she's gorgeous, but everyone comments on how she's too skinny. Fiona is way disgusting imho. I love her voice and that, dear angels, is all. :) Cept she DOES have some mighty cool things bout her personality, heh heh..... Better make this into a new post cuz last time it got bounced for bein too long..... :) moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1998 21:59:12 -0400 From: "Seth D. Fulmer" Subject: Re: ET: Re: all the posts on eda-thoughts-digest V1 #118 At 08:40 PM 8/18/98 -0500, Niki wrote: >But I want you all to try something- go out somewhere tomorrow and smile at >everyone you see. Even if you don't know them. It really makes other people >feel better when you smile at them and it makes you feel better too! (And >look better) That's all I wanted to say. I'll shutup now :) I always smile and say Hello to people who I don't know but pass on the street. It really makes me look like a moron, but I've never cared in the past. I'll never meet with those people again. It does help though :) Take care and Have a Great Day!! :) Seth Fulmer A.K.A. "The Angel that thinks too much" mailto:kaosking@voicenet.com Cool Quote of the Day/week/timeperiod of your choice: "And I'm sorry I didn't always have a match That could start a fire big enough for your heart to catch." - Jewel Kilcher ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1998 22:17:24 -0400 From: "Seth D. Fulmer" Subject: Re: ET: Re: Everything that is me At 09:11 PM 8/18/98 -0400, Kevin Pease wrote: > But then, that's *your* deal, not theirs. My point is (and was), each >person should celebrate the things they do well, their own goodness, and not >dwell so much on their own negativity. Everybody has things they don't like >about themselves, and things that aren't "perfect". If you want to show >individuality, you should show what you're good at, and what you like about >yourself. What you're describing sounds to me more like a "misery loves >company" scenario than anything else (Maybe I've totally missed your >point?). My basic point is that you can look at your goodness all you want. If nobody else sees it, it's not going to do one bit of good. I look at myself as other people see me because it's impossible to make other people view you as you view yourself. If you disagree with me, try to convince me of your image of yourself. I can guarantee that it will not work(and I'm not trying to be mean...I'm just saying that nobody will be convinced of something they don't want to be convinced of.). The fact that other people have a better life than me, proves that it is possible to have that sort of life. It may not be probable from where I am, but I sure as h&#@ am going to try. As for showing what I'm good at...I am best at being "not found"(seriously...I try at it), writing poetry, and compositions that make the sky cry, and copying others effortlessly. Not exactly noticeable abilities, are they? And please don't think I'm trying to be offensive to anyone because I'm not. I'm just trying to clarify myself. It seems like, and I've noticed that it's a diffiency of myself that I see only the negative aspects in others...Primarily, when I see their imperfections, I can attack the person right there. If the person isn't having a good relationship with their parents, that would be an imperfection in their lives and it would also be a good place to attack them. Not that I would do that without due reason, but frankly speaking, you just can't use someone's bright points to help or hurt them and like I said earlier...seeing your own good points won't help or hurt either. Take care and Have a Good night :) I apologize if I've offended anyone. Seth Fulmer mailto:usfulmer@mcs.drexel.edu mailto:st96t879@post.drexel.edu mailto:kaosking@voicenet.com webpages: http://www.voicenet.com/~kaosking Cool Quotes and stuff :) "So don't tell me why he's never been good to you So don't tell me why he's never been there for you Don't you know that why is simply not good enough Oh...So, just let me try and I will be good to you Just let me try and I will be there for you I'll show you why is so much more than good enough" - "Good enough", Sarah McLachlan ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1998 20:08:45 -0700 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us) Subject: ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #123 >their lips look fuller, eyes more deepset, etc, etc. My point is, makeup >can be fun >like an accesorie - like jewelry or clothes or a weirdo hairstyle. Right >now I'm >wearing purple eyeliner and tastable lip gloss. It's fun. But when you're >trying to >change your appearance, it sucks. I'm totally agreein' with Summer. >Well, when I look at people, I see their good characteristics...someone who >has a photographic memory...someone who is good in social >settings...someone who is a math wizz or who can write poetry that makes >shakespeare cry...and I am almost never impressed...The person could be the >most perfect of the perfect people but I'd be like "Yeah, so what?". Even >with their multitudes of good traits, I can spot an imperfection and I But isn't that kind of a wrong way of thinking? I mean of course, if someone's incredibly vain and parades themselves around as though they're all that, then of course you'd wanna find their faults and you'd be totally turned off. However just noticing someone's good points isn't a bad thing, it can do wonders for their self-confidence, and realizing YOUR OWN good points is all the better as long as you don't take it too far of course (but that goes for anything). If you focus on the imperfections then you'll get all the wrong things out of the relationship. Cuz no one will be perfect. >tend to try to fix those traits in them to make them a perfect individual. I disagree with ya here Seth. I mean that's fine that that is your own opinion, but I think people should, while trying to improve their faults, stop at a point and accept themselves for who they are. You will never be perfect. You just won't. So why be miserable trying to make yourself perfect? Besides, perfect would be boring. Individuality, a variety, uniqueness, faults make people interesting. If everyone looked like gods and goddesses then ...no one would be themselves. I think that would be awful. If you've read "brave new world..." well there's a good point. >way that happens when someone's been struggling with the disease for a >while. Think...concentration camp. Every bone visible as if the skin was >translucent. There is nothing beautiful about animated death. > >Please, take it from someone who knows. No, that sounds terrible Nina, totally, n I agree. I didn't say the thing you objected to, someone else said it, and I don't know that I agree with their opinion either. Cuz as I said before, someone who is starving ...is dying. But I think the person's point was that the girls who try to lose weight, when they start, they have get that disgusting reaction of being complimented when they're beginning to starve themselves. Kevin wrote: >you present yourself, but in the final analysis, it's the viewer, not the >viewee, who creates & holds onto that first impression - if you're surprised >by the second impression you get of someone, I'd say that's more a function >of your own mind playing tricks on you than it is a function of the other >person "lying" to you. Agreed here. It's not their fault if they have faults, either. That's life. > > (As a side note, I really don't understand the big anti-makeup thing, >anyway... I'm not a fan of tons of makeup on anybody, but a little bit of >makeup, when applied properly, can enhance features, and (if I may say so >without being excommunicated... :), make a girl look more attractive. >Partly because it can enhance some features (fuller lips, higher cheekbones, Yah, agreed again.....Though it's sad that sometimes people take it to great lengths and think that they NEED the makeup to look beautiful. That's when it's too much. But makeup can be a good thing, definately. > Anyway. Don't kill the messenger. :) Like it!!! =) Cris wrote: >Now wait a minute... Doesn't that basically mean that on the very day >you have achieved your high goal of perfection you'll be looking in >the mirror and say "Yeah, so what?".............. > >That's a frightening perspective if you ask me........ Yeah....It sure is. > Hey, my "fantasy" goal is perfection, too... fantasies are good for >that, because they remind us of our potential. But I can & will be But y'know, I know I won't get perfection. And when you accept, it will be perfect. And when you truly ***love*** then that person will be nearly perfect in your eyes. Sure I have the idea of the "perfect me" but perfect can mean flawless, and perfect can mean perfect-that-I-am-me. I don't think I'd wanna be perfect in the end, or anyone other than who I am. That would scare me, I wouldn't be me. And who's saying "perfect" people really are any happier? And what we view as perfect may not turn out to be quite so perfect. I don't mean to argue, all I'm saying is, watch your expectations. They can let you down, they can be wrong, and you may never get what you want. Life is here, live it up. > Happiness isn't having everything you want, it's wanting everything >you have. That's a good phrase. > > If you always want more, you're not going to be happy. If you're >content with what you have, you're going to be very happy. That doesn't >mean you can't try to write a better poem, or design a nicer house, or do >any number of things that will better yourself, and your life... but >contentment isn't "everything is perfection," contentment is "this is just >perfect." Yes, a person should still *strive* to be better and improve, but perfection....That word. It's too much, it isn't really a good thing necessarially, to me, the word perfect, in a sense, sounds fake, not human, unfeeling. In terms of "the perfect-seeming mate." How many of you guys really prefere that girl with the plastered smile, plastic fingernails, perfect walk, beautiful eyes, gorgeous hair, perfect personality, a thin tall girl, over your averaged-height, brown-haired, jeans-and-lip-gloss, loving girlfriend who brings you "zen and the art of motorcycle m." instead of preening in the mirror? And girls, sure that guy looks perfect with the shades, cool stride and smooth stare, but when you're with him doesn't he sometimes feel superficial & uncomfortable as compared to your non-god guy who covers you with kisses out of nowhere while you're in line at Sweet Factory and lights up with a smile at your approach to his doorstep? Also wouldn't a "perfect person" make you feel inadaquate like you need to be something other than YOU? It just doesn't seem healthy. That's my opinion, please take no offense, and pleaaase don't flame. Love ya all, Sam the ? angel moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #124 **********************************