From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #119 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Monday, August 17 1998 Volume 01 : Number 119 Today's Subjects: ----------------- Re: ET: physical beauty [Summer Burton ] ET: "me" [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us)] Re: Subject: ET: Fw: Confusion & Self: A Social Commentary ["Kevin Pease"] ET: The Me ThreAd ["Kerry *jo*" ] ET: Everything that is me ["ws r" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1998 12:20:53 -0500 From: Summer Burton Subject: Re: ET: physical beauty genben@usa.net wrote: > is a feeling that arises from a primal need to mate. There are reasons that certain traitsare considered attractive, and some of them are cultural and some are natural. don't be fooled, it's okay to want to look A good message, but to be fair MOST traits we look for are cultural.. Wight, chest size, hair color, clothes, height and tons of other traits that people look to be a certian way nowadays were valued a different way in a different time or place. And of course, many people are attractive to one person and not to another. That's obvious when you get any group of people together. And, although this could be a wrong observation, I think GENERALLY girls are more varied in their tastes than guys.. In the group of people I hang with, there are basically two girls (out of 15 others) who are popular - two have blond hair, the other red, they are all skinny, buxom and vunerable. Meanwhile, the guys that the girls like completely vary... One or two girls like the tall skater blond guy, one likes the dark haired gangsta dude, some like the sporty blond guy, the silly artist boy, the sarcastic short... etc, etc, etc... I know there are exception to this, cause I know some groups of girls who are very narrow minded and some guys who aren't at all. I guess my point here is that I agree that there's nothing from with looking at the physcial and valuing it - I know I do in myself and others, but they key to making that okay is to not be strict and narrow minded in your definition of beauty. Instead of looking for a futuer-supermodel in every group, look for the beauty in the people that you do know. Inside and outside. - -Summer http://www.bga.com/~melissab ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1998 11:48:47 -0700 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us) Subject: ET: "me" Angulz, Well I will write a detailed paragraph about "me" later on, but I'm all "thought-out" now after my lengthy email I just sent to you guys. However I forgot to add something-- When I was describing myself. I said "used to have long hair." I cut it, it was kind of like a rite-of-passage, a real turning point. It's amazing how something like that can boost self-confidence and put a spark in your walk. So it's just past my shoulders with layers around my face, kinda, and I can blow-dry it straight or curly. And more blonde, partly thanks to lemon juice. :) But my point is, something I've noticed, whenever I do some major change, I get all the more hads turning. Is that because I'm more confident or what?! You know, also, about the emphasis on looks. Being whistled at, honked at, stared at (when you're with your family is the worst) adds to the stress about looks. Okay, here is a poem I wrote awhile ago about "me", though I dare say it needs to be updated, much of it is most definately still true, and as I said, I will write a more recent one just as soon as my brain is refreshed and clear....my oh my I owe my cousin some big letters, my best friend too.... Sam the ? angel (boy that angel name sure does fit) *I* (sm 6-6-97) I I like strawberry rubarb pie my brown hair once was blonde my eyes are brown-green and filled with things I have seen I love frozen corn tall vines of sweet peas sunsets on beaches and dewdrops in morning music of all kinds writing & reading I like hand crafted mugs can't stand people who are smug I'd love to wear a dress made of roses I love bunnies in tall grasses so hidden and so still I love the big tree outside my window I have people who love me friends yet to be I've imagined tossing diamonds into a tumbling, salty sea I sometimes cry with myself get mad or sad about someone's health I'm slender, strong, healthy, happy weeds don't really bother me I believe in dreams and candles roses in full bloom I love the light from the sun and the beams from the moon I like to sing and dance I like psychology And I think I'll start giving diamonds to the sea here's an interesting one....similar topic I suppose.... I AM GOING TO (sm 6-12-97) I am going to/dye my hair black I am going to/find the guy of my dreams I am going to/stop hating the neighbor's cat I am going to/have fun eating ice cream I am going to/try not to flip my retainers up I am going to/splurge and buy a skirt and 12 cd's I am going to/make and fire a homemade cup I am going to/fight to help save the trees I am going to/be happy with myself & write back my friend Kate I am going to/stop being so bugged by other's bad habits I am going to/try not to go to bed so late I am going to/manage to eat a bowl of grits I am going to/start helping my mom out some more I am going to/love life and pursue my dreams I am going to/not think gardening is such a bore I am going to/paint my room and the door beams I am going to/take up drawing put down getting stressed I am going to/love my friends and family I am going to/wish my enemies the very best I am going to/at tea-time relax and drink tea moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1998 14:46:24 -0400 From: "Kevin Pease" Subject: Re: Subject: ET: Fw: Confusion & Self: A Social Commentary >> Issac J Brogdon writes: >a) try not to eat constantly. stick to meals at certain times of the >day, not meal, snack, snack, meal go meal, meal, meal Actually, there's more than one way to skin this particular cat. Some nutritionists recommend eating almost-continuously in very small amounts throughout the day, rather than having "three square meals". The rationale behind this is that many times, people go, "My god, I'm STARVING!" and then proceed to consume a large pizza and three large Cokes. The problem is, they're not *that* hungry, but it takes approximately 20 minutes for the hunger feeling to go away, and in our fast-food society, we've already wolfed down 2000 calories worth of Big Macs and Bacon Cheeseburgers before the hungry feeling goes away. For this reason, some nutritionists recommend eating "mini" meals throughout the day - when you start feeling hungry, have an apple, or some toast, or something small like that, rather than a full meal. A side benefit of this is that it fools the body into thinking that it's getting a continuous supply of food (it is, but not as much as it seems), so it also stimulates the metabolism to function at a higher rate, which can also burn off fat. Obviously, continuously snacking on candy bars is no good, but if you keep your intake to nutritious foods, you may very well be better off doing that as opposed to the traditional "three squares". >b) BALANCED DIET > we all heard about it in grade school. it's true. it's not the >food that makes you gain weight, it's the candy bar. stick to >your veggies, folks Yes and no on that particular tidbit. The quantity of the food, regardless of what you eat, is what makes you gain weight. I'm sure some, if not most, of you are old enough to remember when soda was primarily sold in 12 oz cans? Now look at the size of the bottles... 20 oz is the standard soda bottle size, and it's not uncommon to see 32 Oz, 1 Liter, or larger (Can anybody say Big Gulp? :) bottles being sold. Look at fast food... "Upsize your Value meal for only 19 cents!" "King Size it for 30 cents!" Throughout the years, portions have slowly gotten larger... what this means is - the fast food place makes more money (they probably pay 3 cents for the extra potatoes and soda you get, you pay them 20 - 40 cents more... doesn't sound like much, but add it up over a couple hundred orders per day, and their bottom line just increased significantly), and you end up with WAY more food than you really need. Everything is being "king sized" and "super sized" these days... if you eat 10 pounds of salad, you're still going to gain weight (and get terribly sick). If you were to eat nothing in one day but a candy bar, you're going to lose weight. (And get terribly sick.) The key things to maintaining a healthy (not too fat, and NOT TOO THIN) weight are these: 1. Exercise 2. Taking a holistic approach to your diet. 3. TIME 1. Exercise burns calories (i.e. - FAT). If you want to lose weight, and you don't exercise much, start walking, jogging, biking, rollerblading, playing soccer, hockey, football, basketball, whatever you want to do that you enjoy. You'll feel good, and you'll lose weight doing it. Have a dog? Take it out for a walk. Have a little brother? Go play catch with him. Have a beach nearby (or a pool)? Go take a swim. 20 to 30 minutes, three times a week is all you really need to get moderately healthy. Also, make sure you drink plenty of water (threefold reason - it helps fill you up, you feel less hungry; it keeps you hydrated, which is essential if you feel like continuing living; your body requires water to clean out all the crap left over as a result of burning fat & exercising). 2. Approaching your diet with a wider, holistic, view will do wonders. Be aware of what you eat, but don't beat yourself up over a candy bar here, or a piece of cake there. Indulge your sweet tooth now and then, and you'll be less likely to binge when you finally break your diet. And you will break your diet - nobody has the iron discipline required to not ever take a bite of a candy bar or cake. If you incorporate a little "release valve" into your diet, you're less likely to go nuts and binge when you take a little bite of chocolate after 3 months of eating nothing but lettuce and carrots. Also, start paying attention to how much you eat - if you have an uncontrollable craving for macaroni & cheese, don't eat the whole box of macaroni and cheese in one sitting... read the serving information, and pay attention to how much you're putting into your body, and you'll probably be really surprised. Reduce the quantities, and substitute healthier options when possible (put on a vinaigrette dressing if you REALLY need dressing on the salad... don't use the "hi-fat blue cheese" option), and that's 75% of your diet right there. Balance out what you eat - have a candy bar now and then, and balance it with an extra salad instead of something more caloric later that day or the next day... Couple that with an exercise program, and you're doing great. 3. Time is another key factor. Much like the stock market, don't check your weight every day. It varies, a couple pounds back and forth depending on what you've eaten, how hydrated you are, what you're wearing, and even the time of day. Check it once a week, if you must, but don't worry if you've stalled, or even gone back up... the lower weight is the final (desired) result, but shouldn't be taken as the key indicator of progress on a daily basis. Too often, people want to "Lose 70 pounds in 5 days!" And the diets that say they can help you do that are, in a phrase, full of crap. A healthy, sustained pace for weight loss should be *no more than* 1 to 2 pounds per week, any more and you're probably either losing weight by dehydrating, or you're starving yourself. If you have 50 pounds to lose, lose the weight over a longer period, and you're more likely to keep it off, because your body has a chance to adjust to the weight loss, and you have time to establish & get used to new eating & exercising habits. [Anecdotal content: A couple of weeks ago, I was torn between laughing and calling an ambulance at the gym I go to after work. These two 17 or 18 year old girls came in, and hit the treadmills. Now, neither of them was what I would call fat, and they certainly looked to be in decent enough shape (no complaints from me, at least. :), but they were trying to sustain what looked to be about a 10 mile an hour pace for about half an hour (That's sustained 6 minute miles, for those of you who think it's not so bad. That's a pretty good clip)... about 15 minutes in, it looked like one of them nearly passed out... she stumbled, almost fell flat on her face, and if it hadn't been for the side rails on the treadmill, she probably would have. She then went and drank water for about a full minute (always carry a water bottle when you're doing sustained exercise), and then came back, sat on a bike, and proceeded to pedal furiously for about 20 minutes, then moved to the stair stepper for another 20 at a fast pace. The whole time, she got more and more pale, and looked more and more like she was going to either pass out or have an aneurysm. The moral of the story is this: If you do the same sort of thing - you're trying to exercise too hard, and you're trying to lose weight too quickly. Build up to higher intensities slowly, or you'll only hurt yourself.] So, in a nutshell if you want to lose weight - exercise more; become aware of what you eat, and cut out stuff you don't really need; and give yourself time to lose weight and become accustomed to exercising and eating differently. Fad diets don't work, that's why there's so many of them. Change your lifestyle, and you'll see yourself get much healthier. Kevin - ---------- Kevin Pease kbpease@boston.crosswinds.net (ICQ UIN: 3106063) (AOL Instant Messenger: kbpease) http://www.crosswinds.net/boston/~kbpease "Well if I were an angel, I could fly over Jordan, and I wouldn't need no Greyhound to save my soul, but maybe that's a good thing, 'cause I'll be home before I know it, And if I was an angel, I'd have a long way to go..." --(Matraca Berg)-- ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1998 12:11:14 PDT From: "Kerry *jo*" Subject: ET: The Me ThreAd As I have always done...I write after a while, after I sit back and observe...This is coming off the top of my head as I write it...I would love your critism or comments AngEl Love and my wishes for happiness Kerry*jo* an unperfect angel I am me and sometimes I dont know who that is anymore I am 17 years old I have parents who don't know how to tell me they love me or that I am a good person or that I do anything right this hurts me I cry myself to sleep almost everynight I am hurt I feel alone but, I am not I have a boyfriend he shows me more love than I knew people could have he has guided me guided me through a hurt and pain that I didn't think I could bare but, I did I made it through yet still my family tells me i am no good and they laugh at me. I wish I could close my ears and eyes and not here their mockery and not see a smile play across their lips as they laugh at all that ever mattered to me I write poetry I try to sing on key and I try to look pretty to other people most of the time I feel mostly failure I belive I am selfish I believe I pity myself to much that I am not good enough to feel a love for myself I talk to much and people find me annoying they lie to me I lost all my friends because they think they are to good I feel hurt and I feel pain and only a few people care but, at least I have a few people If I could do anything I wanted I would change someones life I would make a difference in the world I would make children smile and people feel safe that is what matters to me not myself but, other people K.J.E aUg 17Th 1998 Im sorry it was so long...many of you didn't want to hear it, but, I love adding my two cents sometimes =0) ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1998 12:25:10 PDT From: "ws r" Subject: ET: Everything that is me Hey there, Well, hmmmmm, now that I'm here with my spot in the limelight I'm getting shy. Excuse me, ahem, *Chin up* Ahhh, confidence.... I've been reading the posts about beauty and lack of self appreciation, and I think that there are some really good opinions out there. But now I'd like to add my own two cents. (Gee, if we put everyone's pennies in a kitty, we could all go out somewhere!!) I think that in some cases, many people want to be considered the pained poet. They revel in their imperfections, and maybe, just maybe, find some kind of satisfaction in their pain. Not to say that they're sick, but because to them it is a triumph, a way of pushing back at the world that pushes on them by saying, "I have felt pain, and no matter what you do to me, I will withstand." And perhaps being imperfect is not simply a way of fighting down societies expectations, but a way of finding our own niche, and individuality in our contortions of pain. Maybe that idea is just sick, but I thought I'd ramble my way through...anybody get what I mean? As for the beauty thread, it kind of reminds me of a problem I have. You see, I have been in a relationship for over a year now, that was souly based on beauty and attraction. I found him (Find him) amazingly attractive. He says he thinks I'm beautiful. So when I am around him I feel beautiful sometimes. The not so great thing is that we seemed so busy being ornaments on each others arms that we forgot about personality. To this day, we still can't have a decent conversation on command, it has to be felt around and worked up to. I feel jealous when I see him with his friends because I, the ornament, am shown off like an expensive ring and then forgotten. I am then alone, while I stand by his side. Well....o.k, anyway, this isn't going where I want it to. But perhaps it shows a good example. Everyone out there who strives for beauty to get them through anything, is striving for the wrong thing. It isn't being the beautiful one's beautiful companion that makes you anything, least of all satisfied. It is being the beautiful person on the inside, the confident one, who reaches out to someone elses mind that will satisfy. O.k, so, what I mean is, beauty does not equal happiness, happiness equals mental beauty,and then comfortable relationships. Ok, I'm gonna quit rambling now. Sorry for the overflow, but thanks for listening, Sue "...If you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." -Friedrich Nietzsche Beyond good and evil "When Kinderman asked him why Amfortas would allow himself to die, Doctor Coffey's only answer was, "I think it had something to do with love."" -William Peter Blatty "Legion" "And I don't want the world to see me, cuz i don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am." -GooGoo Dolls "Iris" "When everything feels like the movies, yeah, you bleed just to know your alive." -GooGoo Dolls "Iris" ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #119 **********************************