From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #112 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Thursday, August 13 1998 Volume 01 : Number 112 Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: sam reveals a version of her worst fear [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us)] ET: completely venting about the atlanic ocean [Jan Winters ] [none] [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us)] ET: me [Karen Miller ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 11 Aug 1998 21:44:46 -0700 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us) Subject: ET: sam reveals a version of her worst fear Dear angulz, Well, just now, for at least an hour, there has been this crunching outside the computer window (the windows are all wide open because it's a warm night), I swear someone is walking back and forth out there. So this is the perfect chance, I realized, to combine my enormous fear and my poetic abilities, partly....oh my was that a shoe dropping?....Being the brave girl that I am, and being ever so afraid of my house at night ever since I saw "Scream," and having a tremendous imagination, this is only the beginning of my terrifying fears. Believe me, this poem is barely stepping INTO it. Hehe. Love ya, Sam the ? angel the dark sm aug 11 98 it is a calm, peaceful night i walk through the trees these woods are dense and still faintly footsteps in the dark crunching leaves i turn the corner, but there is no one there the air seems reflective, dense all i can see is my hair falling forward as i walk and the branches gently brushing up against my face a leaf floats down from nowhere trickles to the ground and hits with a soft click-clack-tap and then again, a pattering and a sound like twigs cracking the night smells cool with a faint scent of wildflowers hanging in the air, left over from day the trees lengthen to height and block out any traces of moonlight leaves hanging dark and lightly dancing in shadows i turn, but there is no one there only trunks standing like a hundred people behind me, waiting silently and still so still as though they know something that i do not and will not until i run and i do i start to walk faster and i comfirm the careful steps that reside somewhere out there in the dark the twigs come cracking and breaking louder than ever i cannot see whoever whatever it is that follows leaving not even a shadow they linger and streak like lightening behind me so that i can only sense them they step so that i only feel they are there only think but cannot see i start to run and behind me i can feel branches whipping back now i know i run but the trees stand like neutral predetors not leaving, not trying just standing i dodge the trees, but i know that i cannot keep on for long soon, they will be upon me soon, i will see them i will have to see them because my legs are aching my lungs are bursting my hair is tangled with twigs i can run no farther and their strides are ceaseless my heart in the dark has always known that i will not outrun this night - - - - - - - ~*here's another*~ kiss kiss in the moonlight you see how the stars are just so bright you feel the wind through your hair and cat eyes perched everywhere on that shining night oh the day so sweet and calm you never really understand how your life can be so gentle and then so unkind aug 11 98 sm - - - - - - - ~*i don't get this one either*~ morning flies and the dawn speaks through me i open my eyes to a smiling sky there's sense in blindness, seeing no evil a crusty truth speaks to the lush green grass and a haze through nighttime smoke makes the candlelight shine faintly pencils sharpened, wits drawn out did you ever see just how the chimes cry sm august 11 98 moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 11 Aug 1998 23:56:47 -0700 From: Jan Winters Subject: ET: completely venting about the atlanic ocean how i feel about the ocean i'm sitting here in my living room; a storm hit florida today. it was really beautiful and i can still taste the humid air on my tongue. florida is incredible at times, beyond the tourisum and the old people it's really a beautiful exotic land that i now call home, despite how annoyed i get at the sun, mosquitoes and beaches. the lizard play madly when it rains here, the rain in florida is different then anywhere else. it's warm and comforting. there is something real special about it. but here i am, in this country that is going wild over sexual affairs and the new mcdonalds menu when it hits me how far i really am from where i want to be. IT'S THAT BLOODY OCEAN AGAIN! i swear, if there is one that that constantly is in my life that i want out of it, it's gotta be the atlantic. at one point i lived ten minutes away from the coast and if i would have known the pain that ocean would cause i would have spit in it or drank the whole thing up. i hate the ocean. of course i can't lay all of my teenage angst on the ocean, add the trailer parks and a few mountain ranges. but it's that ocean that drives me mad. i have always had this fear of water, ah! now i see why. it's never been of actauly phsyicaly drowning but it's an emotional thing with me. i emotional drown in this ocean that is around me. with all the thoughts that i am told to have, and all of the thoughts that i refuse to believe, i'm drowning of my past goals that i never bothered to achieve and all those bloody fears that keep coming back. i guess it's those inbetween days that you realize that you miss something a lot more then you would like to admit. i am truly torn between my homeland, where the family is,my majority of friends, the color brown and the place where i feel like i belong. i guess this post is basicaly to vent out on the atlantic ocean. i know it sounds a little nutty, but sometimes late at night after hanging out with all of my long time friends, i come home to that cup of british tea and i stop and think about what i miss, need in my life. and that bloody ocean just keeps getting in the way. kat ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 11 Aug 1998 22:14:58 -0700 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us) Subject: ET: Re: first poem Dear Angels, Well my first poem I wrote when I was about 6 years old, it was called "When My Parents Yelled" and it's packed in a box way way waaay high up in the garage (frankly, it was excellent, so I say myself). :) So I don't have it with me. I then went on to write poems about things like water on grass blades, etc. But I didn't write poems for years and years, actually not again till I was around 13. So here is one of the first ones (the very first has too much cussing) I wrote when my friend's angry poems about her ex inspired me. (Hint: they're about him too. I was nuts about him for awhile. Hee.) Just so you know, there are 3 girls in this poem: me, my dumped friend, and our "strong-lady" friend. Sam the ? angel I liked you cause you're fine you lulled us with your words Flattery was your trademark And we fell...hard. And just when it seemed perfect we hit bottom. You dumped. You used us for our looks You made one sob & cry - but another's tears are dry. No, it's not me. I fell too hard you see Confused inside. But she was strong she showed you who you are & the other dried her tears & moved on. I will do the same.. I'll wreck your name, & step away. No girl in her right mind will fall for you till you change. & if that happens she'll be a lucky one/You're fine... WIth one blow you shattered our hearts & minds sm 3-14-97 AWFUL isn't it? I think it's really bad. Heee. moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1998 07:10:08 From: genben@usa.net Subject: ET: my religion post Hey, Alright, so if I offended you, I apologize, but here's wht I have to say about it. In the course of history I think that next to love, religion has inspired more art than any other thing. Why would we not talk about it? Now, are we not a collection of artists experiencing each other's beauty? If we cannot honestly voice our opinions on subjects, then how can we write poetry that is sincere? I was merely sharing with all of you something that had been on my mind that day (an EveryDay Thought, if you will). Again, my last intention was to offend. I think that if we want to stay safe, we should board ourselves up in our houses and never go near any communications medium, especially a computer. I pour out my guts here, which is how I live my life. I am a raw and honest person, not as an artist, but as a human being. That honesty is channeled and creatively shaped in my art, but it comes through. In my opinions, however, I may tend to ramble, but I am not putting a poetic shield on my words. I'm just telling it lke it is. I am sharing my thoughts. This list was a blessing to me, but if you want to stick to poems and stories, I can deal with that. No more big long prose pieces on my view of the world. I'll just be poetic. Please, no one take offense, for I am not angry, and I don't want you all to be, either. With all that is me, Ben ____________________________________________________________________ Get free e-mail and a permanent address at http://www.netaddress.com/?N=1 ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1998 13:46:20 -0400 (Eastern Daylight Time) From: kara garbe Subject: ET: the pacific i have to agree with kat that the atlantic ocean sucks (although i can't see it through my window, my state does border it as well). now the pacific, that's where life is. if any of you remember me from my "good will hunting" "my boyfriend lives in california and i live in virginia and i'm miserable" posts, well coming on top of my great "prince of tides" revelation last week when i couldn't stop smiling, my bf's mother called me up and said "how would you like to go to san francisco next week?" now this was truly odd becasue all week i'd been having dreams about going to san francisco, and everywhere i went, people around me were mentioning san fran and california. so, since my hopefully future in-laws are the greatest people in the world, in 24 hours i'll be back on the pacific side of this country spending a week in the only heaven i'll ever know. and that's more than good enough for me. talk to you guys when i get back, and have a great week. ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1998 19:16:33 -0700 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us) Subject: [none] Gosh I've eaten too many chocolate chips...heeeheee..... Sam the ? angel P.S. This is a lousy poem. sm aug 12 98 It's summer today the sky hangs an ugly hot Books of poetry are bound so tightly So then, how come I'm not? I can play my guitar quietly Pick & hum at all the tunes that whisper but I do believe you've lost me dear, the calm that so takes me away Though I don't believe you ever cared not as long as a goddess lives Your lyrics frame her photograph and your eyes trace her steps your heart cries one way, to her sea your eyes are turned, your fingers tensed, you don't search for me I stood on the track waving, the conductor screamed from the train But you, back to the window never saw me go down And I crumbled without a sound You missed the song, you missed the rain ~- ~- ~- ~- ~- sm aug 12 98 life seems so meaningless when those who you care for do not care for you love is so pointless when you're speechless, all they say is that the sky is blue no one cares for sore losers but no one counts the strikes no one ever notices or asks if you're alright dreams may happen and sorrow will come as it may but curtains blow, your sadness grows to tell the time of day beauty does not deserve to die when someone takes your flower and crushes it in their palm joy cannot be sustained when life itself is barely gained and serenity no longer a balm and then despair reels its desperate wheels and cries to you in hate, in fear you cannot cry you cannot die you are forced to live without them near moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1998 19:32:17 -0700 From: Karen Miller Subject: ET: me well i'm a bumb right now so here is how i feel about myself right now my thighs are fat and ugly while my face round and fat with pimples all over, my stomach as big as a bus . my self esteem non-exsistent and i am stupid beond beileif so i tell you this? why do i even bother? ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #112 **********************************