From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #96 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Monday, July 27 1998 Volume 01 : Number 096 Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: some poetry ["Schizo AKA Tonya" ] ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #95 [ib-3@juno.com (Johnny Dough)] ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #92 [Angeljlb96@aol.com] ET: to the silent or scared [kara garbe ] ET: smile ["Agnostic Angel" ] ET: third eye blind and a poem [kara garbe ] ET: lilith [Jan Winters ] ET: WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us)] ET: Donna, TEB & a poem! ["Dr. RomeAntic" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 26 Jul 1998 22:15:12 PDT From: "Schizo AKA Tonya" Subject: ET: some poetry Hi, my name is Tonya, and I used to be involved with this list in the very beginning, but since then I have not posted. These are just a few recent poems that i want to share with all of you. Drowning I am drowning in your shallow waters In you lies and ambiguous ways I am choking on your feeble excuses And the condescending things you say I am screaming in your paper thin world Where dreams are dirty words Where I am just a weak little girl But my cries remain unheard I am Different You've altered my perceptions I think differently You initiated my deceptions I don't know who to be My scruples have changed Under you tuition My morals rearranged I am so different I am so deceptive I fool everyone My priorities neglected I hate what you've done I think differently About my own body You've made me hate what I see When I look at me Tonya Sometimes it's easy to be myself, sometimes it's better to be somebody else ~ Dave Matthew's Band ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1998 00:25:22 -0500 From: ib-3@juno.com (Johnny Dough) Subject: ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #95 Hey everyone...just enjoying my life, in a depressing kinda way... these are the times of life, no? Right now, I'm not concerned that someday in the near future you will disappear from my poetry and I don't care that there'll be a time when you take the money and run. I just don't want to miss you-- your love. tonight. Šand all that jazz. if you'll believe me i'll tell you that i love you if you promise you'll love me i'll pretend that I care but when the sex gets boring and we forget kisses goodnight, where will you be? Not in my arms, and certainly not in my heart, but @ least, @ the very least, you will have lived in my dreams. Šand all that jazz. Some lonely teenages sits in his bedroom and sips orange faygo while listening to the montonous tomne of a girl that just hung up on him He looks around and sees nothing that would miss him, should he decide to use that bus ticket Sitting against cold, but steady concrete walls in his basement, he taps hi sfeet on the floor beneath him, to the beat of an overplayed song he can't get out of his head: love. "Fuck it," he says, "I'm going into organized crime." At least it won't leave me. Šand all that jazz. And that my friends, is how I feel write now...not actually, in fact, my poetry hasn't been reflecting my mood, at all, recently. I wonder why...ah well, good night all! ^_^_^_^ - -If you 'aint makin' waves, you 'aint kickin' hard enough! ^_^_^_^ James _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1998 01:44:41 EDT From: Angeljlb96@aol.com Subject: ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #92 In a message dated 98-07-24 00:03:37 EDT, you write: << Oh wow Jamie I really liked "An Echo of Love" - >> Thanks a lot Lara...I finally finished the music...and I'm really happy with it. =) Oh...and hi back to you Naomi. I"M GONNA MEET JON FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love, Jamie ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1998 09:17:16 -0400 (Eastern Daylight Time) From: kara garbe Subject: ET: to the silent or scared Hey everyone, I was writing to Sue (hi Sue!) and I realized that the things I was saying were really things that I wanted to post to the whole list. Especially to YOU! yes, you, sitting there reading these posts and not posting anything of your own. Now I've been on this list since the second issue, but it took me a while to post anything. When I did, the first few things I posted got absolutely no response or mention from anyone. So I felt pretty rejected after that and I tried to unsubscribe from the list because it had become this big symbol of rejection and being outcast. Fortunately my email skills using automated software were not up to par and after about 10 tries to unsubscribe, the best I could get were messages back from smoe telling me that I was not even subscribed in the first place, therefore couldn't unsusbscribe. (hmmm...) so, i stayed on the list and a few weeks later began to post poetry again. and I started to get a few comments back and now pretty much everything I post gets some kind of comment, whether a personal reply or a mention on the list, whatever. So I have this theory. If you're new to the list or just have been lurking for a while, and you post something and it gets no response, don't give up. I think perhaps that a lot of times when the members here have just read something by you and never read anything else, it may not really stick in their mind, they may just keep on reading the next things and not comment on your poem. But after you've posted a few times, and people recognize your name and style, and perhaps subject matter (since a lot of us write about things going on currently in our personal lives), the things you write tend to affect people more, because they can understand what you're saying. Well, there's my theory. However, if I'm wrong, please don't flood me with messages like "well my first post got 30 replies" because that wouldn't be very good for my fragilely rebuilding self-esteem... ;-) Anyway I just wanted to say to all of you silent ones out there, don't be afraid to post. I've noticed that a lot of the people on here who've been posting for a few months have gotten a lot better. People's comments (or even lack thereof!) can tell you a lot about how what you write is related to by other people. Thanks (as always) for listening to my babble, and to the 4 million people to whom I owe emails, fear not! i have not forgotten thee. I'm just really really really slow at email. really slow. and if anyone wants to write to me about this, feel free! just don't expect *too* prompt of an answer. (see above) :) peace and love, kara _____________________________________________________ "If you could give people one message, what would it be?" "Love." --Ed Kowalczyk, lead singer of Live ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1998 11:08:57 -0400 From: "Agnostic Angel" Subject: ET: smile I don't write poems often...after reading it you'll see why. ;) Smile I look at a picture And am disgusted to find Fake smiles for the cameraman. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1998 12:26:56 -0400 (Eastern Daylight Time) From: kara garbe Subject: ET: third eye blind and a poem hi everyone, i haven't posted in a few days (well, until earlier today). my college roommate from last year came to visit me over the weekend and we saw third eye blind and our lady peace on friday night in columbia, maryland. anyone else see that show? it was amazing. "god of wine" was my song all year, my "curl up in a ball on the floor and be sad" song. hearing it concert (they closed the show with it) was so amazing. i started crying - ah! i felt so purged though. what a great weekend. teb and olp (and eve 6, whom i unfortunately missed) are playing in virginia beach tomorrow night, i believe. i definitely recommend catching the show if you can! i'd seen a teb show on vh1 and thought they were terrible. stephan jenkins was drunk or high or something and slurring all his words together and just being generally incoherent. but he wasn't like that in concert on friday. i've heard his tv appearances are usually bad, in concert he's good. so don't be daunted! go forth and enjoy the music! and now for two short little poem/thoughts that i stuck together to be a poem. *~*~*~* 7.27.98 - -memories- voices whisper in my mind foretelling stories of the past come together as pieces of a future i dream can be mine your hands caress me touching deeply down into my soul they call it out from hibernation to follow yours into eternity _____________________________________________________ "I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man." --Thomas Jefferson ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1998 10:38:43 -0700 From: Jan Winters Subject: ET: lilith angels one of the most incredible things happened to me yestarday. beyond traveling europe, beyond falling in love, beyond anything else i've ever felt, i went to the lilith fair in west palm beach. natalie did this incredible chilling performance that left you speechless and then sarah........oh sarah. i can't explain how that made me feel to hear her sing elsewhere and building a mystery. i just sat there in these amazing seats in complete awe. i was with a guy friend of mine who is in love with sarah and natalie so we had the best conversation on our 3 and half hour journey home. there is something amazing about her....about the lilith fair that i can't exactly point to but it's there. if anyone else went to the one in wpb please e me kat ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1998 11:57:11 -0700 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us) Subject: ET: WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Hey angulz, Well I ACED THE STAGE! I can now safely say that I LOVE performing. =P ~~~For those of you who didn't know, I danced this weekend, a recital thingie.~~~ So the rehersals on Sat. went fine, and the recital yesterday was EXCELLENT. (We performed Carmen.) It was soooooo cool. They just love me. :) We did really really great. I got roses. =) Backstage was the usual nightmare, there was only AC in half the building (and it was at least 104 F yesterday), it was really hot and crowded, but everyone did an excellent job (except for the lil preschooler who fell onstage and another one who got hit in the face). The 2 best shows were probably Rock Me Amadeus (Ballet IV), which was just gorgeous (in, uh, ballet terms), and Men In Black (Hip Hop/Funk) --you all know how much I love MIB!!! Men--In--Black--uuh--aah. So can you guess what classes I'm taking when classes begin again? :) Yup, ballet & hiphop. Hiphop so I can finally do an everyday funky dance at those *ahem* parties, and ballet cause everytime I see a ballet I wanna do that. :) WOOOOO!!!!!!! EVERYBODY SAY YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) =) :-P ~Sam~ the ? angel moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1998 23:03:05 +0200 From: "Dr. RomeAntic" Subject: ET: Donna, TEB & a poem! Hi all you angels! Now that I finally sent that e-mail to kara... i can post someting here... so I promised one of my older poems... Blossom... and well I'll post it at the end... I wanted to ask you, if any of you heared that new song by Donna Lewis called "I COULD BE THE ONE"... I've been playing it for over a month and it is SOOOO beautiful... the way it is sang and the lyrics kind of remind me of Jewel... watch out for it... I'm sure you'll love it! She has a new album coming out in about a week... I think it's called Blue Angel... not sure though... I absolutely didn't like (and probabyl still don't) Always And Forever, but i'm definitely checking this album out! Ok just wanted to let you know that... if kara (WOW you changed your signature - remarkable! :)) can talk (I wish I was there) TEB (who's breakthrough album, by the way, is amazing to say at least!!!) I can talk music too! :)) Oh my favorite song of theirs however is Motorcycle Drive By... too much ME in there to let God Of Wine win... but I love all songs on it... it is truly one of the best albums I've listened to! However currently my favorite album is Soraya's "Wall of Smiles"... KICKS ASS! However her debut "On Nights Like This" is probably even better! Enough boring! Here we go... that poem! A Blossom ("Ode" To My Life) I took a walk outside Wandering and wondering about my life What has it given me... What has it kept from me... And has it finally defeated me? Well I don't have much I thought So I said well... at least I have my laugh And then the cold breeze started blowing I didn't feel like smiling anymore I sighed : "Life!" I just kept on walking thinking... So I said - well, at least I have the sun Then the strong wind blew And out of nowhere there came this cloud Covered the sun... I yelled : "MY LIFE!" I just kept on walking thinking... So I said - well, at least I still have my thoughts But then this strong wind started blowing in my back I had to start running Like I'm running away from something... I'm not allowed to think For all the good thoughts are being heard Then all the good is taken away from me I yelled : "WHY!?!, LIFE!!!" Well I still can move... So I'll get somewhere eventually But the wind was so strong That it pushed me in the dirt I fell... and remained on the ground! When I came to I crawled under a tree Leaned my back against it Crying heavily... I was defeated I was about to give up Yelling : "LIFE... WHAT HAVE I DONE DO DESERVE THIS!" And then I looked up Saw this beautiful blossom above my head And I spoke through tears With sadness and hurt in my voice "Oh, you beautiful purple blossom... what do you think? I want to be in love I need to be loved But I'm just not allowed to Do you think you could love me?" I stared at the blossom Waiting for an answer As tears were engraving two canyons on my cheeks Nothing happened... So I raised my hand Spread my palm Whispering : "come to me my beautiful blossom Show me you love me" And it happened Blossom started falling Slowly, gently Down towards my palm And on the most magical moment I ever lived through I could hear it cutting through the air I could see the colors change I could see the blossom cry I saw my reflection in it's tear Something that changed my life I felt I found LOVE! But just before it landed softly on my palm Again the breeze came to visit me And it took my blossom with it Slowly raising it Towards the perfect blue sky That is missing a sun Away from me... far away... It was all I could take I yelled : "NOOO... life... NOT MY BLOSSOM!" I got on my feet And went after it I was determined to find my blossom My beautiful purple blossom My love... Second after second The Wind threw me against the wall Threw me on the ground Minute after minute My bruises grew My blood was blinding me Hour after hour I spent searching in the dust and dirt For my blossom Day after day Rain started falling heavier on me Turning dirt into mud And I slowly gave up on the thought I would ever see my blossom again Because I saw no way for it to survive all this Suddenly I stopped... Went down on my knees... Ran my fingers through the mud Numb as I was I took one last look At the sky and the raindrops That like knifes were falling down on me And one last look around me... when... I couldn't believe my eyes There it was - my blossom Laying in the mud Still beautiful as when I saw it first I didn't waste a second I jumped on it... grabbed it Amazed that it survived ... my love survived... So I laid a kiss upon my blossom And started laughing Finally I yelled "LIFE So your powers stop right here!!! I can't let you hurt my blossom! I won't let you hurt my love! YES! I'm being loved! SO STOP! Kill me!!! Kill me, but leave what I deserved alone! Stay away from my blossom!!" And the last whisper before I got up on my feet "I love and I'm being loved in return" Rain stopped falling Wind eased up Life stopped killing me It got almost back to usual I can walk again I can think again I can laugh again >From time to time I can even feel the sun again And what matters the most I'm finally able to experience love Thanks to the beautiful purple blossom That saw ME! That believed in ME! That loved me! That's it... oh one more thing... Sam... that story about that party you've been to and how you despise your ex now... I DON'T GET IT!!! You have said absolutely nothing that would justify that! You so censured that thing that absolutely nothing is clear from it!!! Either post like it is or don't... cause that really seemed like "WHATEVER"... you know what I mean??? We are all people or even adults here... what are you afraid off??? Anyway... I mean do what you please - just my thoughts! - -- Have fun and stay beautiful Dr. RomeAntic, an angel with the worst stroke of luck "I could be your see of sand, I could be your warmth of desire I could be your prayer of hope, I could be your gift of every day I could be your tide oh heaven, I could be a hint of what's to come I could be your ordinary, I could be the one I could be your blue eyed angel, I could be the storm before the calm I could be your secret plesure, I could be your well-wishing well I could be your breath of life, I could be your European dream I could be your ordinary, I could be the one" Donna Lewis / I Could Be The One / Blue Angel Catch Dr. RomeAntic's cyber image @ http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Metro/2009 ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #96 *********************************