From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #67 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Wednesday, July 1 1998 Volume 01 : Number 067 Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: la ti da [Angeljlb96@aol.com] ET: poem ["* Jewel *" ] ET: Did I Make A Mistake? [Nick Mattos ] [none] [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us)] ET: some poems ["Naomi Vaughn" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 30 Jun 1998 00:40:03 EDT From: Angeljlb96@aol.com Subject: ET: la ti da See you guys in about 2 weeks! CALIFORNIA HERE I COME!!!!!!!! Take care Sam...you'll be okay =) Wait for me JON!!! I'LL MISS YOU! Stop worrying Lara dear =) and keep me updated! Hi James! How's Montana Nicky? BYE!! LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!! Jamie ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 29 Jun 1998 22:39:58 PDT From: "* Jewel *" Subject: ET: poem Hey angels...I wrote a poem tonight so here it is...Oh, and Sam, sorry to hear about your boyfriend...bet hes missing out on a lot. Hope you feel better soon. Well, heres the poem: *~How Much Longer?~* I yearn for "I love yous" And crave fresh kisses. I want a pair of arms To wrap me in a blanket of stars. I want to be a fire of passion And burn rampid through His heart. But I'm not offered those three piercing words, And He no longer lends soft lips. I'm not cradled in a constellation of bliss, And my desire is forbidden To run fierce through his veins. How much longer am I to be without a Love? My heart is open and empty, But His is shallow and shut... Hope all is well angelz...take care O:) Love Always, *~Kristen~* {{ThE aNgEl StAnDiNg By}} "Maybe our hearts were just next in line, Maybe everything breaks sometime..." ~Jewel ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 29 Jun 1998 22:47:15 -0700 (PDT) From: Nick Mattos Subject: ET: Did I Make A Mistake? Hi everyone -- Okay, I have a dilema. My friend (who we will call X) is one of those people who hide all their problems under a verneer of socially-accepted gloss. So, becuse of this, she lets her problems ferment until she is a wreck, and of couse I am always the one who gets the late-night phonecalls where she sits there fighting back tears and telling me of all her problems. And then the next day she is hppy-smiley-"no problem here" X again. I am one of those people who feel EVERYTHING extremely deeply (which I don't think is always a good thing but oh well) and I always treat her like someone who feels things deeply in order to try to keep some of her problems from rotting inside of her for too long. So, back to the present day. She calls me up and is almost in tears, going "oh why did I break up with [omit name] he was the best thing going for me..." etc. So then I wrote her this big long letter, in which I basically transcribed lyrics off 5 or 6 CDs and tried, in my way, to help her help herself. And so, fast-forward to about two minutes ago. She e-mails me with a message that says "Oh yeah I solved my problem by laughing about it with [Mr. C]", with Mr. C being the guy she had a one-night stand with back in January. And this pissed me off. I KNOW that she didn't really solve her problem -- she just buried it under another layer of personality polish. And so I told her that. I typed the last section of the poem "Grimsaw" (from Jewel) as the appendix. And so now I wonder -- did I do the right thing by telling her what she was doing? Considering I know that I will be the one who gets the late-night phone calls, not X or Mr. C, despite what she is telling herself. Ugh, this is so messed-up it's driving me crazy... Please write. Nick (the troubled 14-year-old angel) _________________________________________________________ DO YOU YAHOO!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 30 Jun 1998 11:43:42 -0700 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us) Subject: [none] Hello angels, Tell me what you think of this poem. Your healing angel, Sam the ? angel Joon SM 6-30-98 Starlight forms a path on which she wanders a stream flowing to the twinkling pendants shining a silent song like crystals in the night Those were the days when her feet carried her places When the cork-heeled sandals, blue-beaded twine twisted around her ankles and held her safe grounded in her reality and leading her by her innocence When her eyes sought out catapillars inching vines that curled and crawled up dark treaded trunks to the dawn and her only fear was that the sky would grow dim and leave her motionless in half movement Now she lives off of coffee cigarettes and gum and the early morning shows an orange haze confined to the low border between night and day and barely lighting the road she drives to the restaurant She will call you Joon, though you come in May With the flowers that used to lay entwined in her smile a month known for its new beginnings She waits on cranky customers eating packaged crackers so she can clear the newsprint off her counter and brighten your walls with paint the color of sunlight She sifts through the clothes and wrappers that lay carelessly scattered on her floor and she aims all her thoughts toward that spot of hope that is all that can gleam in her future She puffs through the smog of the air that surrounds her and labors determined to clean the world for you she is sure she can save you and give you a life she once had but she will make sure you don't choose her mistakes One night she walks at the height of uncomfort and the breeze stirs her and lifts up her mind and for a moment it frees her on the path of her dreams and flies with her up into the sky Then she returns to her flat in the clutter but her soul is still carried on the swirl of the wind a stream flowing to the twinkling pendants that grew dim in the darkening sky moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 30 Jun 1998 13:07:08 -0700 From: "Naomi Vaughn" Subject: ET: some poems angels~ just a few poems today. I wrote these lastnight because I was confused and angry...i'm not as angry now, but still so confused. I haven't really written anything in a few days, so it felt great to have it come so easily...no matter the inspiration. as always, comments are great. smile angels~ Naomi the unknown angel icq# 10320304 - --------- end could this be indifference I see in your eyes? you turn away you don't want me to see what are you hiding? I make you meet my eyes If you care be fair to me if you don't just leave right now nothing is worse than slow death did you ever care? or was I just a thing to you something that's here when you want it but you don't have to stick around well i'm sorry if i'm too serious for you i'm sorry I gave you my love and i'm sorry you don't know how to make up your mind I could handle rejection at this point but not knowing is killing me i'm not going to stick around i'm not going to wait for you i'm worth more than that I don't need to beg of you answers just to be treated like this i'm done with your cryptic messages with your vanishing act i'm done 6.30.98 - ------ home nothing is as it seems you're gone and nobody is who they were the sky is falling and no one is home i'm crying in vain nobody hears you are unknown to me now you used to be the one stable thing the one thing that I knew that didn't disappoint you just were as you were and I always found comfort in this now I unknowingly stumble across this part of you and I feel betrayed who is this person that I have confided in for so much of my life? you're a stranger to me I can't look at you the same again nothing is as it was before everything is gone and taken from it's home no one is home what happened to my home the familiar things have become so foreign the strong things have weakend in might and my caring friends my honest straightforward friends are keeping something from me what has happened to my home?? 6.30.98 - ------- turn away I feel hollow inside like someone has gutted me out so harshly taken my beating heart from within my flesh I cannot feel I just stare on in confusion I don't know what is happening what has happened my hands to my empty chest I look at you for answers you turn away I look to so many for help they turn away my voice is gone my vision fading my will is dying and you turn away 6.30.98 - -------- you remain you are the only sure thing I have right now, unwavering . things change from black to white before my eyes, and you remain. things fall from the shelf shoved between death and meaningless exsistence, and you remain. and through this gut wrenching storm that rips from me all things I know to be true, you remain. 6.30.98 - --- "I'm not completely insane...i'm maybe just a little bit crazy..." ~Alana Davis Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #67 *********************************