From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #11 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Friday, May 1 1998 Volume 01 : Number 011 Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: You guessed it - another poem! (or 4) [Dennis Winderbank ] ET: (poem) Burned ["The Agnostic Angel" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Thu, 30 Apr 1998 20:16:21 +0100 From: Dennis Winderbank Subject: ET: You guessed it - another poem! (or 4) Hiya! After sitting here for a long while and reading everyone else's poetry, I have finally gained enough courage to contribute. Though I am using a really wierd E-mail program I'm not used to, so if this gets through first time it will be a miracle of no small proportion :-). I have an entire notebook of poems, but I haven't written any recently as my life has been so pressured with exams. Anyway, I'll give you extracts, as most of my poems are either 1 verse, or several pages long :-). The one I need to finish: I need a Saviour Knight in shining armour Prince of Darkness Sweep me off my feet And the picture on the wall It doesn't fit the frame And if you think you don't need saving Take a look at me again. This is for a person I went out with for a while, then we broke up and he ignores me. From what I've read, a few of you can probably sympathise :-). And I shaved every place, wherever you'd been Do you know the pain? Disinfectant on skin And my room is a mess and I really don't care And I'm sick of you acting as if I'm not there. And I never could ask, never could say Do you really think it's better this way? Why should I? After all you put me through? So tell me why, I'm still dreaming of you. What was it you'd said? That we'd be friends. So why ignore me and hurt me again I turned up the music as loud as I could And I drove like I promised that I never would What gives you the right to do this to me? I've done all that I can, but you never did see. And your number is still programmed into my phone. But every time I see you, I drive home, alone. This one's entitled - Not the Angel, and was written for all those who think they know me. Maybe I'm not the Angel You thought that I should be Maybe I will burn myself Into your memory. Maybe there's a heaven Where my screams are gone But the silence is cold And the screams linger on. Maybe I'm not the Angel That you thought that I should be Maybe that's why I'm lost In your dreams, in memory And maybe I'm not the person You thought I was before Maybe that is why I'm crying And why I don't care anymore. And a short one I never finished - Cry out the rain Burn out the sun Destroy with a word What we've just began. Thanks for listening! - Donna The Absolution Angel (until I find a better name :-)) donna@ravenbridge.demon.co.uk "Trusting my soul to the Ice Cream Assassin" - Tori Amos, Spark ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 30 Apr 1998 11:18:10 -0700 From: "Naomi Vaughn" Subject: ET: midnight ramblings Okay, so it is 1:25 right now and I have to talk, or write as the case may be... I was considering sneaking downstairs to type this so I could mail it, but I don't have the energy to deal with explanations when my mom wakes up to the clicking of the keys...so, I am writing this now, and I will have to type it out tomorrow morning.. I just listened to my new Jewel tape, Jewel Rocks the Paradise, and now my head is so full of all this stuff, I couldn't sleep if I wanted to! But the frustrating thing is that I can't put into words just exactly what it is I need to say. So I find myself writing now, and I know this will lack...(what's the word?) But I am hoping for some clarity by the time I am done tonight! For the length of my short existence I have been the same quiet, constantly daydreaming, terribly quiet person. And everyone I know has come to know and expect these things from me...I have always been the one they come to when they need someone to listen, or whatever...and that is great, I love being that person! I love my friends dearly and I treasure them all so much! I want them to be happy always, so I give of myself freely to them. But I have found them hesitant when it's me coming for advice, or it's me doing the "taking." I just, I am thinking right now that I do not like who I am. I lack many traits I desire. I want to be able to speak freely when something's on my mind, I want to feel like if I vanished this instant I wouldn't jude fade away, and oh god...I want to feel beautiful...I want to change myself, re-invent myself, but I feel trapped. Everyone expects the same thing thing from me, and just don't know if I can handle the explanations, and likely disappointment. I feel so distant from most of my friends, I've found that we lack common intrests lately. And this latest emotional battle really has made me realize who my true friends are. I want to be taken seriously, but more than that, I just want to feel "understood" (don't we all?) I want so desperatley to be able to pour out my heart and soul to someone, and have them do the same. I want to be there for someone completly, and have that in return. I just, I don't understand anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just so tired. I feel like a completly changed person, but that person locked up because I strive to be what everyone wants from me. "Be what you want. Live for YOU." But as most things are, it is easier said than done... I don't really understand any better what I want to do with myself, but it does feel good to unload all this. And I think I might actually be able to sleep...it's only 1:50 now! Thank you so much if you are reading this. Goodnight. I love you all. As Always, Naomi the unknown angel Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 30 Apr 1998 19:39:42 -0400 From: "The Agnostic Angel" Subject: ET: (poem) Burned Burned I think I've broken down life Into three basic parts; It's all rather simple, This is how it starts: From age five to twenty-eight, Everyone learns, as though by fate. Through the second part of life, Encountering both joy and strife. You also learn in this part, Only now, you learn with your heart. The thrid stage, you forget all you learned You devoted your soul to God, And this is how it's returned; You lived your life, Now you're burned. ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #11 *********************************