From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V2 #321 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Tuesday, November 9 1999 Volume 02 : Number 321 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V2 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: new love ["Robert A. Peate" ] ET: Some thoughts on Australia.....:) ["Jeremy Hodgins" ] ET: ~dreamscape~ [shivergirl ] ET: hello [REviSiTeD9@aol.com] ET: too much significance, not enough&buried deep [shivergirl ] ET: LISTEN GUYS ! [Djp1414@aol.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 8 Nov 1999 00:33:03 -0500 From: "Robert A. Peate" Subject: ET: new love new love breathes, rises from the ashes of the old "i will rise again," sinead promised, and she did, only indirectly-- do you know about subtlety? why are we fighting? i'm not; i'm merely asking that you treat me decently, not engage in public flogging . . . because i know how you hate that, and my ego was more than scratched by "i hate yous", if you really want to talk about it. i, on the other hand she wore a glove, love you. new love thrills, inspires, makes life worth living again, as steve would put it--right, steve? i think he got over *his* emmy, as i did mine two weeks ago tonight. that was nice. two weeks *from* tonight, i'll be in flight, having already arrived in tucson. i think we all think that we cannot go on unless things remain the same. "everything moves," an ancient greek said, and we should not lament this. president f. roosevelt said, "there are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still." be happy, don't dwell in jealousy and anger; find that tranquillity you mentioned again. and know this, most of all: blame, shame, and misbehaviour aside, we were still too different, on different levels. no one's fault, except perhaps mine--for needing too much, for being too desperate in despair, to see that, though i loved you, we were too far apart. fly, shivergirl. be free--of all pain. and embrace the path you were meant to walk. the yank ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 08 Nov 1999 06:28:00 PST From: "Jeremy Hodgins" Subject: ET: Some thoughts on Australia.....:) According to my email this originated in England - I can beleive that!!! Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the bottom half of the planet. It is recognisable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enormous bite taken out of its southern edge; a wall of sheer cliffs which plunge deep into the girting sea. Geologists assure us that this is simply an accident of geomorphology and plate tectonics, but they still call it the "Great Australian Bight" proving that not only are they covering up a more frightening theory,but they can't spell either. The first of the confusing things about Australia is the status of the place. Where other land masses and sovereign lands are classified as either continent, island or country, Australia is considered all three. Typically, it is unique in this. The second confusing thing about Australia are the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep. It is true that of the 10 most poisonous arachnids on the planet, Australia has 9 of them. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that of the 9 most poisonous arachnids, Australia has all of them. However, there are curiously few snakes, possibly because the spiders have killed them all. But even the spiders won't go near the sea. Any visitors should be careful to check inside boots (before putting them on) under toilet seats (before sitting down) and generally everywhere else. A stick is very useful for this task. Strangely, it tends to be the second class of animals (the Odd) that are more dangerous. The creature that kills the most people each year is the common Wombat. It is nearly as ridiculous as its name, and spends its life digging holes in the ground, in which it hides. During the night it comes out to eat worms and grubs. The wombat kills people in two ways: First, the animal is indestructible. Digging holes in the hard Australian clay builds muscles that outclass Olympic weightlifters. At night, they often wander the roads. Semi-trailers (Road Trains) have hit them at high speed, with all 9 wheels on one side, and this merely makes them very annoyed. They express this by snorting, glaring, and walking away. Alas, to smaller cars, the wombat becomes an asymmetrical high-speed launching pad, with results that can be imagined, but not adequately described. The second way the wombat kills people relates to its burrowing behaviour. If a person happens to put their hand down a Wombat hole, the Wombat will feel the disturbance and think "Ho! My hole is collapsing!" at which it will brace its muscled legs and push up against the roof of its burrow with incredible force, to prevent its collapse. Any unfortunate hand will be crushed, and attempts to withdraw will cause the Wombat to simply bear down harder. The unfortunate will then bleed to death through their crushed hand as the wombat prevents him from seeking assistance. This is considered the third most embarrassing known way to die, and Australians don't talk about it much. At this point, we would like to mention the Platypus, estranged relative of the mammal, which has a duck-bill, otter's tail, webbed feet, lays eggs, detects its aquatic prey in the same way as the electric eel, and has venomous barbs attached to its hind legs, thus combining all 'typical'Australian attributes into a single improbable creature. The last confusing thing about Australia is the inhabitants. First, a short history: Some time around 40,000 years ago, some people arrived in boats from the north.They ate all the available food, and lot of them died. The ones that survived learned respect for the balance of nature, man's proper place in the scheme of things, and spiders. They settled in, and spent a lot of the intervening time making up strange stories. Then, around 200 years ago, Europeans arrived in boats from the north. More accurately, European convicts were sent, with a few deranged and stupid people in charge. They tried to plant their crops in Autumn (failing to take account of the reversal of the seasons when moving from the top half of the planet to the bottom), ate all their food, and a lot of them died. About then the sheep arrived, and have been treasured ever since. It is interesting to note here that the Europeans always consider themselves vastly superior to any other race they encounter, since they can lie, cheat, steal, and litigate (marks of a civilised culture, they say) - whereas all the Aboriginals can do is happily survive being left in the middle of a vast red-hot desert, equipped with a stick. Eventually, the new lot of people stopped being Europeans on Extended Holiday and became Australians. The changes are subtle, but deep, caused by the mind-stretching expanses of nothingness and eerie quiet, where a person can sit perfectly still and look deep inside themselves to the core of their essence, their reasons for being, and the necessity of checking inside your boots every morning for fatal surprises. They also picked up the most finely tuned sense of irony in the world, and the Aboriginal gift for making up stories. Be warned. There is also the matter of the beaches. Australian beaches are simply the nicest and best in the entire world. Although anyone actually venturing into the sea will have to contend with sharks, stinging jellyfish, stonefish (a fish which sits on the bottom of the sea, pretends to be a rock, and has venomous barbs sticking out of its back that will kill just from the pain) and surfboarders. However, watching a beach sunset is worth the risk. As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst, and wombats, you would expect Australians to be a dour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly, cheerful, and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger, unless they are an American. Faced with insurmountable odds and impossible problems, they smile disarmingly and look for a stick. Major engineering feats have been performed with sheets of corrugated iron, string, and mud. Alone of all the races on earth, they seem to be free from the 'Grass is Greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome, and roundly proclaim that Australia is, in fact, the other side of that fence. They call the land "Oz", "Godzone" (a verbal contraction of "God's Own Country")and "Best bloody place on earth, bar none, strewth." The irritating thing about this is they may be right. There are some traps for the unsuspecting traveller, though. Do not under any circumstances suggest that the beer is imperfect, unless you are comparing it to another kind of Australian beer. Do not wear a Hawaiian shirt. Religion and politics are safe topics of conversation (Australians don't care too much about either) but Sport is a minefield. The only correct answer to "So, how d'ya like our country, eh?" is "Best {insert your own regional swear word here} country in the world!". It is very likely that, on arriving, some cheerful Australians will 'adopt' you on your first night and take you to a pub where Australian Beer is served. Despite the obvious danger, do not refuse. It is a form of initiation rite. You will wake up late the next day with an astonishing hangover, a foul-taste in your mouth, and wearing strange clothes. Your hosts will usually make sure you get home, and waive off any legal difficulties with "It's his first time in Australia, so we took him to the pub.", to which the policeman will sagely nod and close his notebook. Be sure to tell the story of these events to every other Australian you encounter, adding new embellishments at every stage, and noting how strong the beer was. Thus you will be accepted into this unique culture. Most Australians are now urban dwellers, having discovered the primary use of electricity, which is air-conditioning and refrigerators. Typical Australian sayings "G'Day!" "It's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick." "She'll be right." "And down from Kosioskco, where the pine clad ridges raise their torn and rugged battlements on high, where the air is clear is crystal, and the white stars fairly blaze at midnight in the cold and frosty sky. And where, around the overflow, the reed beds sweep and sway to the breezes, and the rolling plains are wide. The Man from Snowy River is a household word today, and the stockmen tell the story of his ride." Tips to Surviving Australia Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason whatsoever. We mean it. The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you think it is. Always carry a stick. Air-conditioning. Do not attempt to use Australian slang, unless you are a trained linguist and good in a fistfight. Thick socks. Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are people nearby. If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at all times, or you will die. Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore. See Also: "Deserts: How to die in them", "The Stick: Second most useful thing ever" and "Poisonous and Venomous arachnids, insects, animals, trees, shrubs, fish and sheep of Australia, volumes 1-42" Jeremy :) ________________________________________________________________ Get FREE voicemail, fax and email at http://voicemail.excite.com Talk online at http://voicechat.excite.com ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 8 Nov 1999 09:57:45 -0500 From: "Robert A. Peate" Subject: ET: possessed by bjork i feel love it is great i feel pride it is right that i should feel these oh, my soul swells as you sing with me my new partner i go through all this before you wake i have a different compass an uncommon sense that can see before the eyes do and oh, to be involved in the exchange! - --robert a. peate ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 08 Nov 1999 11:28:53 -0500 From: shivergirl Subject: ET: ~dreamscape~ * using subject lines/as titles/you startle me/again/i have pegged you as a beginner/and you turn william/as soon as you hit the send/making me devour sonnets/from the mountain of love haikus * dreamwerld/wonder what it looks like/do you/well i'll tell you/my love/it looks like you/computerized cn tower/a sparkling city at night/a lake of fire/i made my wallpaper/the midnight hour/is all about/alskar/with you * sleep tight/but can i write/about the aftershock/describe the afterglow/you know/about now/how joan of arc and the priest/got down/so low/up against the tree/of knowledge * he lets me sleep/keep my faeries/deep in denial/dismissing distance/looking for a fix/i stir sadly/awakening to reality/but he just pets my hair/without waking me up * two commas/in a row/can i love you any more/than before/teaching you to sign/me/giving you versions of werds¬ worrying about thes pace in between/? * wakey wakey/miss faerie-flakey/it's five over here/what do the clocks say/around you/perhaps half-twelve/past pumpkin time/prince disarming/removing the shoe/from all the spiceworld signs/too lazy to put it on/do it yourself/but i provide boots/and it looks like rain/so take a jacket too/from atop my shelf ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 8 Nov 1999 12:20:20 EST From: REviSiTeD9@aol.com Subject: ET: hello "pencil lead" pressure weights on my eyes scuffed boots crazy kid dark veils and puppy tails haunt my every motion i'm breathing black, eating black, sleeping black.... clarity in my blurred vision spinning coins, dancing to be free from the psycotic possesiveness of hands damned bird a tired life....tastes like stale gum....chokes us....chokes me.... mmm....cool breeze if i could inhale the sky....all of the cool air....it wouldn't be enough.... mmm.... expelling the bitter sourness of an irksome existence, i take on new life; i search for coherence....but the black is still there.... damned post office -constance ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 08 Nov 1999 16:08:51 -0500 From: shivergirl Subject: ET: too much significance, not enough&buried deep * how can you get back/after you've disarmed/how can you resolve/at all/when those same grenades/are hitting you in the face/every day/in the name of poetry/hijacked creativity/in a bowl of fucking boring cliched fruit/where angels used to eat/originality/thought-picture stories/conflict resolution/in the form of/written absolution/each message the opposite/of decommissioning * (for eire) addressing a conference/audience/of one/at the moment/agreement all around/and i can feel it/the erosion of deadlock/already/across the sea/rocks for collecting/instead of flinging/for once/fiery gold underneath the green * (for little miss curious) precious indian girl/at least i think you were indian/with wise eyes/maya-like lives/a walking ad for my favourite proverb/african/yes/i love your brother/but not because his eyes aren't brown/but because he wouldn't let my finger go/i can't believe i said/five years/til one of my own/now * magnet-man/yes they come to you/sucked to your side/stuck like glue/a positive prostitute drawn to a negative destitute/subtracting a share/ripping a tear/leaving with less orgasms/and minus a hymen/torn * in my meaner days/i insulted vanessa williams/by association/i used all the devil's abuses/as inspiration/for my poetry/but i became a charactergrrl/while angels slept/i twirled * ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 08 Nov 1999 18:46:25 -0500 From: Christopher Overholser Subject: ET: Poem (Distance) This is something I just wrote a few minutes ago, inspired by a conversation with a friend last night. All comments welcome. Distance "Distance makes the heart grow fonder", but then again I must ponder, that distance also rends the heart, and makes great loves fall apart. Memories can fade and disappear When the one you love is no longer near. If you think your love is true and best, Then distance is the greatest test. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 8 Nov 1999 19:32:06 EST From: Djp1414@aol.com Subject: ET: LISTEN GUYS ! COME ON EDAS ! I've SENT AN EMAIL LIKE THIS IN BEFORE .. AND I'M GOING TO DO IT AGAIN ! THE BACKSTREET BOYS FANS AND THE GAY N'SYNC FANS MAKE SURE THAT THERE FAVORITE BAND IS ON TRL (TOTAL REQUEST LIVE) SO I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WE DONT MAKE SURE JEWEL IS ON TRL ! i DONT MEAN TO SOUND RUDE ABOUT THIS BUT IT KINDA PISSES ME OFF ! I VOTE FOR HER ALL THE TIME.. WHY ARNT YOU GUYS ? WE NEED TO GET TOGETHER AND SUPPORT HER !!!!! EMAIL ME BACK WITH ANY COMMENTS ! - --dan ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V2 #321 **********************************