From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V2 #158 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Tuesday, June 1 1999 Volume 02 : Number 158 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V2 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: goodbye for now ["Naomi Vaughn" ] ET: Some poetry of little old mine's ["Erin Benoit" ] ET: HI! ["C. C. & S." ] ET: poem [Courtney M Gordon ] ET: rambles/poetry [winters ] Re: ET: HI! [Seth Fulmer ] ET: hey! [nicole irene kline ] ET: and the creative streak continues [Courtney M Gordon Subject: ET: goodbye for now hey angels ~ this is my goodbye for a bit. my gram's having back surgery, so i'll be flying out there to help out and such while she recovers. It's gonna be for most of the summer...so, needless to say, you won't be hearing from me for awhile. :) Have a *fabulous* summer...I'll miss all of you...bye!! :) Lots of love, Naomi the angel that's going to ~fly~ ;) - --- "As soon as you're born you start dying/ so you might as well have a good time" ~Cake Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 01 Jun 1999 00:28:21 PDT From: "Erin Benoit" Subject: ET: Some poetry of little old mine's Halo! Okay so that subject didn't make sense, but you get the idea. I have no idea where these thoughts came to me from but here are 3 little works of art I call my poems. PURPLE By EKB The color Purple is just a color ....or is it? Its blends of red and blue hues that vary the tone and brightness of each specific shade of the color bring a new emotion to the very core of my being. ~~~~~~~~~ GOOD-BYE By EKB (oddly enough) So long my friend; to whom I owe my everything, my all. My heart and soul, my spirit in living, The salt in my tears, the color in my blood, the nerves in my spinal cord, the scars on my knees,, The gleam in my eye and the memories that keep life real even today. My feet touch the ground, my dreams reach the clouds, my hands manifest my thoughts. I have grown and its all because of you.... my past. ~~~~~~~~~ CHAINS By me, myself, and I Your drunken stupor mourns the loss of that last beer down your throat You stumble into the room looking like a cliche ...maybe the beer was your best friend. You give me the 'once-over' before sloppily laying your lead arm across my shoulders. Your eyes can't focus on me yet they hold me captive. I squirm to get out of your reach. Your breath makes me nauseous as you grab my arm hard prooving only to your conceited ego that you are in control. The look that falls across your face is a vacant one. You want just one thing from me, and I quietly thank the person who decided that alcohol should have a drowsy effect on its user and make them lose the physical ability to perform such animalistic acts. I promise I'll leave him tomorrow. After I clean up the room *afterthought...last word...'evidence'? Maybe she should kill him...? hmm..?* Any comments, questions, suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks Erin ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 1 Jun 1999 07:19:55 -0400 From: Courtney M Gordon Subject: [none] <> No, you didn't ruin my life. And you didn't take away my ability to smile. But thank you, because you gave me knowledge. I can turn my anger into selfless poetry whereas you just have empty anger. And in the end one of us will be better off. "You can't bring me down cuz I'm better than you." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ quote used from metallica song. questions, comments and constructive criticism welcome with open arms! love and luck always Courtney ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 01 Jun 1999 09:00:45 -0700 From: "C. C. & S." Subject: ET: HI! yo angels! WHAT IS UP WITH THIS LIST??? it seems courtney is just about the one writing in. it's beginning to look like her diary. :) heheh. so i miss all of you!! where on earth are you? jamie! jon! DOC, goddammit COME OUT OF YOUR hiding place!! naomi i know what's up with you so that doesn't count. but the rest of you! come onnnn. we needn't all be on a writing block just because the two best poets on the list (haha just kidding) are too. all of you...write! write! write! i command thee to. kat i know you just wrote so i won't yell at you. i guess i'll say what's up with me, which is a lot, and nothing, both of which i cannot sum up easily. so let me just say: summer's coming up, and i'm going to camp again, a conference, and a goo goo dolls/sugar ray/fastball (blah on fastball) concert. i went to a diff. camp in april did i tell that already? anyway it was sooo cool. i have a boyfriend now and so far he's really nice and great and sane. :) sooo...yeah! NOW WRITE! anything! saying that, here is a semi poem crappy thing i wrote last night. i've been on a block recently but don't worry! i'm gonna come off of that! and when i do...oooh! heheh. don't get your hopes up too high you've stars in your eyes, and i'd hate to see them fly... do me a favor, i'd hate to see you cry, just don't get your hopes up too high if only just the way you talk could explain the way you dream, if only how you skip your walk could prove just what i mean, i'm saying what you want, you think, you see it makes you alone, it sets you free you've tied strings to your words, it's clear to me, you know, but ignore, so prettily just don't let your vision crash what you see, don't let your hopes soar too high don't think that the morning will not fly, don't let your hopes sail too high you know it's true, you know you'd cry, faith can mend what hope will dry you walk along the ocean shore you've got all you want, you need no more you had no reason to be on edge, i'm just talking from a broken ledge too bad not all tales tie up so well and i'm so glad your love was not worn sore because it doesn't always turn out that way, the nighttime might not merge into day, and then you would have fallen, and there you would lay, unguarded, so they say - -sm 5/31/99 write soon homies :) - -love- sam the ? angel ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 1 Jun 1999 16:12:20 -0400 From: Courtney M Gordon Subject: ET: poem <> I know this isn't what you want to hear. But you really fucked up this time around. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Because we both know the truth. Dont' start either. Don't say you love me. And don't tell me that you can't live without me. I know you can't. But if you want her so bad, you can learn to live without me. Los siento, poor brecito. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ comments, questions and constructive criticism accepted with open arms! love and luck always Courtney ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 01 Jun 1999 11:55:06 -0700 From: winters Subject: ET: rambles/poetry NOT GOOD ENOUGH it started with my pen running out of ink and you noticing how frustrated i was; no longer being able to perfect my doodles. didn't think we had much in common you with the expensive shiney black pen and me with the bright blue bic one that comes in a pack of 10 but somehow our conversation stopped revolving around writing utensiles and moved onto other things how did i end up telling you my life? letting you know those fears, deep inside. calling you up in tears, telling you how badly i want to move to guam because i hate it here. and you just open those arms with candles all around turning on PBS specials and joking about this craphole we both are calling home. somehow though, in between the pen and the night i layed in your arms, i think something happened inside. perhaps i am wrong, i often am, but your smile always seems so inviting. you always seem up to a good conversation maybe this is more then just a random friendship your relishing in your independence. you were in love for 4 years how can i possibly think that i measure up to her? how can i think that you, in your preppy khaki's could ever like me? this is just another friend, i keep telling myself that each time your hugs never seem to end. DENNY'S DINER ON US 41 it's one of those old denny's. not like the shiney new classic diner, no it's this horrible beige color with bright green awnings. no one goes there but regulars and now and then travelers from tampa to miami. the food has never been very good always greasy. only coffee will work. the service is known to be bad if you want a refill, you know where to get it. the bathrooms generally constantly smell and the men that go there are perv's. the toy machine is fucked, no one can ever get anything. but it's our denny's on the corner of US 41 and veteren's. i told you the last night you were here that i'd never go in there again. it would be too weird, but i caught myself off gaurd inside of that same place. i sat down in the corner booth, the one we called home for some many late nights. the waitress, remember debbie?, went and gave me the usual the coffee and peanut butter pie. you used to take bites of my pie, not wanting to admit that denny's has at least one good item on the menu. it's funny, but for the past year we never really knew why knew why we spent so many hours at denny's and not at parties. why we always ended up there at 3 am talking to the old men. why we somehow found beauty in the flickering flourcent lights. but we did and now i see why. it's not the same with just one cup of coffee i miss seeing your face crinkle up each time someone openned that god damned bathroom door. the smell would turn both of our stomachs. i remember the conversations about tomorrow. we never thought that the nights would end. somehow we felt denny's was forever. the safe arms of a mother. you would read to me jack kerouc while i played with the empty sugar packets the smoke from each cigerette you lit would join in with the steam from my coffee i would bring in scratch off lottery tickets, in hopes for a win. even a free ticket would bring happiness to both of us, somehow life was free and right. don't get me wrong, we had worries. my eyes watered up probably each time i went into denny's. we would complain constantly about how cruel the world is, always leaving wanting to make a difference. one day back in march i ran in with a packet from americorps you thought i was crazy, when i begain rambling on about san diego. i thought you were insane when you bought your tickets back home for indiana. there's a denny's in every state, that's what i told you. but somehow none of them are like this one. and somehow i just can't get myself to order the usual without you around. (I miss you) ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 1 Jun 1999 17:53:37 -0400 (EDT) From: Seth Fulmer Subject: Re: ET: HI! On Tue, 1 Jun 1999, C. C. & S. wrote: > yo angels! > > WHAT IS UP WITH THIS LIST??? it seems courtney is just about the one > writing in. it's beginning to look like her diary. :) heheh. Well, like...ok..The past few weeks I've been really emotionally unstable. One day I'll be really happy and the next day really unsure of how I feel while all along I'm deeply inlove or worried about something or another. After I wrote that poem "pocketlove", I had sent it to Holly and she asked me who it was about....WELL, I can't lie to her...so I told her a "half truth" and told her that it was about her and a few other people. The truth was that it was about her and her alone. Anyhow, later that night she said she had to get off the internet to use the phone and I haven't talked to her since then because she hasn't been online to my knowledge. Well, I decided to let her have some space...but like she gave me her phone # a few days before and told me to call the next night..and I got her boyfriend's answering machine and Holly's name got like a 2 second spotlight in the message. The guy scares me and I want to call again but frankly I'm afraid of him. But like I realized that since we're from the same fraternity, I could call and claim I'm calling for fraternity business. And in addition, lately my computer has been misbehaving and not working right...I'm trying to not let the Melissa/Becki/Roxy thing bug me by continuing to write my 2nd novel in which I have essentially a fiance(it's complicated). There's this girl Amy pledging Gamma Sigma Sigma who ADORES Star Trek Voyager and she's sooo cool :) I really like her but like in 2 weeks she's going back to Connecticut for the summer and in the fall I probably won't be around Drexel. I asked her to go with me in this group I'm getting together to see the 2nd Austin Powers movie. I REALLY hope she goes, and I'll be damned if she thinks she's paying me for the ticket. Anyhow...like I still read the list and write poems. I just haven't had the time to type the poems in and send them lately. Plus, a lot of my poetry recently hasn't been that good..and some of it outright bad(as in profanity or sick thoughts) so I don't think others on the list want to read that sort of thing. Anyhow, I should go. Take care and Have a Great Day! :o) P.S. Since my computer died sorta..I lost my AIM buddy list and I'm reforming it. So if you talked to me before, and/or you want to talk to me in the near future on AIM, please IM me if you see me online as I lost my list and forget a lot of the addresses :( Seth D. Fulmer mailto:kaosking@voicenet.com "When they ask me what I liked best, I'll tell them it was you" - -Maggie Rice, City of Angels ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 01 Jun 1999 19:08:57 -0700 From: nicole irene kline Subject: ET: hey! i havent posted for a really long time, and since someone asked if this was courtneys diary, i figured id better get on the ball and do some posting. im kinda sad that naomi left us, she wont have any computer access for awhile and i am goign to miss talking to her :( lately things have been a little rough for me. i was diagnosed with depression awhile ago and i was taking prozac but i dont know if it was helping me or hurting me, since it was giving me crazy anxiety attacks. i just started taking st jon's wort and im *hoping* this will work. i have been depressed about the ex too...we have been broken up for awhile and he started seeing someeone right afterwards, a friend of mine, and she was sending me hate emails and stuff for awhile. well i really miss him a lot and ive been feeling it lately espacially. his new GF is moving far away for the summer but i dont want to start talking to him as soon as she leaves because its not so much that i want HIM back as a BF but more that i want his friendship back. i know him enough to know what he would be thinking though, so i dont know what to do. i know i love him and i thought he loved me but im having doubts. i thought we were meant to be. i dont know what is going on anymore in my head or in my heart. so thats all my rambling for now...im also not doing so hot in school but thats a horse of a different color. i would post some poetry but i got a virus and lost it all :( speaking of which, anyone who wants to be included in my poetry ezine, please email me at nik22@drexel.edu. i lost all the poetry and addresses i had. i wanted to know, too, if winters wanted to contribute, i think her poetry is incredible. so let me know what you all think! love and hugs, nicole ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 1 Jun 1999 21:05:22 -0400 From: Courtney M Gordon Subject: ET: and the creative streak continues It was the way that you could just look at me and send shivers through every vein in my body. It was the way you could hold me in your arms and even in the worst times, everything else would fall away and I would feel safe from the dangers that were my own fears which threatened to consume me at any other time. It was how you could fill the nights with words of love, without ever saying anything. It was how i could call you at 5 in the morning when i've had way too many coffees way too early in the a.m., and you'd listen to my mindless babble, no matter how little sense it made. (Why do i love you? Why ask why? Ask how. Ask how much. Let me count the ways.) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions, comments and constructive criticism accepted with open arms! love and luck always courtney ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V2 #158 **********************************