From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V2 #95 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Tuesday, April 6 1999 Volume 02 : Number 095 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V2 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: Reflections Of An Angel ["a poet on 'Bleeker Street'" ] ET: daddy ["Everything Breaks" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 5 Apr 1999 00:18:12 -0400 (EDT) From: "a poet on 'Bleeker Street'" Subject: ET: Reflections Of An Angel To any who would attempt to decipher me, Well, I wrote/finished a poem that I can say I like. Of course such poems of mine do not come without a cost--my own sanity. Of course, me being all masochistic and allowing myself to be depressed in order to write what some may call "poetry" is my cost--but I shall not give up this masochistic behavior yet. Not worth giving up when one is lonely. Or is it? Nonetheless, the poem has made me struggle in my mind as to whether I am "obsessed" or angelfying a girl for mere poetic inspiration. If anyone wouldn't mind telling me what they believe "obsession"-al behavior consists of and is, I sure wouldn't mind. I do appreciate your listening ear. As for the poem, in literary technique, it has been the first time that I used Biblical imagery heavily (ie, "creator", "Adam & Eve", "Mary & Joseph"). In addtion, I do many word plays which is hidden (eg, "artless Adam" in relation to art, etc.). Your comments and words about obsession or anything else is welcome. Feel free to say what you like about the poem--whether I offend your or not. Nonetheless, enjoy or dislike... Depressingly yours, John And here's the poem: "Reflections Of An Angel" by John Khuu I once crafted those white wings upon her Just as I once dreamt the halo on her But then her angel wings I tried clipping As well as her halo I tried dimming---- Her humanization is the cure But I am that ultimate failure. So once again angel wings she did grow And I stare as her halo brightly glows. Now those angel wings of her are her own And I, the bereaved creator, weep alone. I realize she will love me never Despite that I breathed life into her. Like innocent Eve, she tempts and is so tempting And like nave Adam, I fall for her. . . falling, Falling without her feathers to catch me But she is oblivious to see me, As I kneel down in this darkly lit room I pray her halo sets afire my gloom But her virgin beauty stabs painfully-- Eyes wounded and mind taunted endlessly. Memories have seeped back into my mind: An angel I thought I could lose I find, Her words I once heard flourish like weeds Tainting my flowerbed through restless dreams, Choking my mind with meaningless remarks Yet binding my heart to her words, hair, scars. Memories have seeped over this body: My heart beats in her presence steadily, And a forgotten angel recovered Sows again sorrows distance once covered, But like a phoenix dangling by desire In the heavens, my sorrows loom afire. Memories burn deep into my coal heart: Sorrows carve pangs as if it was an art, The angelic artist paints a mirage To make artless Adam her own montage, So I surrender my heart to her hands-- A life wasted as time mills into sand. Like Virgin Mary, she gives birth to life's meaning And like mindless Joseph, I am subdued to cling Onto her for life is nothing but her Yet she undermines my feelings for her, So I sacrifice on the altar life In hopes that that life begets a new life But her lewd state seduces all without care For men live for her as she just breathes air. So now pools of tears she did so water And memories drown me as done before. Tears flood the heart and mind but dry she is For she looms over those whom she touches But dares not walk on water like Jesus For angels, too, drown from sorrow and lust. I once crafted those angel wings on her Just as I once lit the halo on her, But I have given up clipping her wings Despite that her bright halo stabs and stings---- My realization of her real humanness Has failed and has plagued me to become obsessed. - --end of poem-- written on March 23, 1999 [t10:25pm & t10:50pm], March 24, 1999 [from 10:08am to 10:32am (Room 126), from 12:42pm to 1:04pm (Room 116), from 1:20 to 1:57pm (1:47pm) (Room B314)], April 2, 1999 [from 7:57pm to 8:32pm (@glass-table)], & April 3, 1999 [from 12:00pm to 1:45pm (1:32pm) (@glass-table)] the poem can be found here: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Coffeehouse/8132/poetry/reflect.html `~=-_-=~``~=-_-=~``~=-_-=~``~=-_-=~``~=-_-=~` | Bleeker Street Cafe | = = http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Coffeehouse/8132 = = | maintained by a poet on 'Bleeker Street' | `~=-_-=~``~=-_-=~``~=-_-=~``~=-_-=~``~=-_-=~` ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 04 Apr 1999 21:55:00 -0800 From: Miles and Prystowsky Subject: ET: hi (someone to talk to) hey you people, never, never jab your fingernail in your gums. never. it hurts like hell. anyway. i just had two startling things happen, one is i finished a book in a night, started and finished it, it was one of those books that's written well enough, but is fast reading, and it kind of hangs on you because you read it too fast to really think about it much. the other thing is i just got a fast letter from my friend (you know her summer), she's 13 years old (maybe 14 but i doubt i missed her bday), on vacation, and tells me that she's crazy about this guy, "first kiss," and he's 17. now i don't want to sound like a goddamn lecturing freak, because HELL i am nuts about a 17 year old, but then again i'm 15 too. i don't wana sound ridiculous but it worried me juuuust a lil bit. i mean...17? 13? mmm. the thing is is that she's away from home by herself for awhile and...well...i just don't want anything to HAPPEN to her. though i think she said he left. well, whatever, i sort of think something is up with that. i mean no offense, but what's with a 17 year old who goes in for a 13 year old, and this fast too (she's been gone a week max)? i guess...i am kind of worried. don't jump on me, but from what i see around me, 17 year old guys are pretty damn horny. =) anyway. today's sunday. that means tomorrow's monday. that also means that i leave for this (very different) camp saturday. i was all happy with my normal life. i don't want to go somewhere! yeah, yeah, things with my hip hop guy are...okay. i mean, progressing. nothing as of yet. by the way, my first kiss sucked, thanks to the showoff asshole that gave it. but then, i'm not going to call it exactly a first-first kiss, b/c it wasn't quite, and he was a jerk. so there. :) life is so complex. - -sam ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 05 Apr 1999 05:25:39 -0800 From: "Christie Ambert" Subject: ET: (No Subject) Hi all! Well my sister left yesterday and when she got home she was taken to the hospital, she had food poisoning. She was completely dehydrated. I felt so sorry for her, but she`s ok now. got to go have a nice day all! Christie ~@the flowerchild angel@~ "When you learn to loe yourself your better off by far." Joey Mcintyre, "Stay the same" Get your FREE Email at http://mailcity.lycos.com Get your PERSONALIZED START PAGE at http://personal.lycos.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 06 Apr 1999 01:17:49 GMT From: "Everything Breaks" Subject: ET: daddy 4/5/99 9 pm i'd kick in your shadowy, fake face but it's not worth the blood on my shoes a lonely 7 year old watching his mom Trying to stay strong despite the bruises on her arms You didn't think we noticed the burns in the bathroom rug The syringes in trash, the foul smell leaking out into the hall You took the drugs, they took your life Now you've lost your kids and wife They sent you to jail But that didn't help at all You said that you found God But the god I believe in Wouldn't have let this happen in the first place Now here I am, 13 years into my life By the time you're out I'll be 33 But I'll never forget the scars the agony and the pain The suffering we had to go through.. A single mom and her two kids The banks you robbed may have been overfowing with cash But you'll never steal enough money To buy my love again - -by Scott Evans Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V2 #95 *********************************