From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #318 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Sunday, December 20 1998 Volume 01 : Number 318 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: 1 of 2 more to come [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Charlie, Andalite, & The] ET: 2 of 2 to come [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Charlie, Andalite, & The Godd] ET: Windows 95 Background for those with "Active Desktop" [Robby VanScive] ET: Re: hullo meeh dahlings ["Kevin Pease" a pen tries, and fails, to describe the things its beholder dreams of expressing. Her silver nail polish chips off, the banner hanging from the ceiling crinkles & patters against the wall in a faint breeze from movement, & her heart flips as she's carried away in images of herself, dancing, singing, dancing, dancing, - -images she passionately desires to come true. She loves to dance, her feet float like butterflies. And in her mind, her arms, too, bend and curve like delicate limber branches. She hopes, and her mind wills her body to make it into reality. She feels she will become like the snow. In the Nutcracker, in the stage lights, ...and she wants her voice to carry like an angel: not an heavenly angel; an angel with flower wings... The holiday chocolate gets smudged into the diary page on which she scribbles. 12.18.98 - - - - - - #A teenagers fall, off skateboards, stages, emotional cliffs, and in love, and out of love again. How sweet is the taste of that, that last that, lasting through Silver Bells, charms some kind of commitment some meaning that ~some~ run from. How dimly beautiful is it to observe, to smile, know, see... She already fears for the time of a breakup, He awaits the right time to first-kiss her. And the girl, with the giddy chatter, loves in innocent the boy, who speaks much and does little of that. # Part II & she, she has thought she has been in love, & grown sad from it. But she still loves it, delights in it, grows bright with each taste anew, and holds caution but holds the wind. & he loves her laughter, & her friendship, & her hand when he excuses to grab it... #3 & the hands & the lovers abound. Love Sam the ? angel moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1998 21:44:21 -0800 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Charlie, Andalite, & The Goddess) Subject: ET: 2 of 2 to come ok angels, so here's my final one for the night, my thoughts to appeal to you. my doggie, whom most of you have heard me talk about so adoringly...the cute little sweetie...he's sick. i've known he's had this for awhile - his liver is too small and he has to have meds every day, and he won't live as long as he would have otherwise. but that was okay for awhile, because since he's been on the meds (two times daily), he's become a happy chipper puppy again. but now, he's sick again. i don't know what's wrong, i guess he'll go to the vet tomorrow - but (sorry if this is gross) he's puking again and he looks sad and he hides. my mother's the angel who's taken care of him, giving him the meds every day; and she's said that if he's going to have to have a prolonged deterioration of his life, if he's just going to die slowly, and be miserable...well, she doesn't want to have to go through that. and i know she's right - i don't want her to have to deal with it - but more than that, neither of us wants my doggie to suffer. because he's not happy - those puppy eyes that usually glimmer and dance are now cast in a sad, heartbroken shadow. and i don't want my little doggie to hurt... but god knows that's hard. i wish i could ask him, cause how on earth can a person make a decision like that? because, you know, he's sick and he hurts, but he loves me and my family so much that all he wants is us...and he's happy. but he's *not* really happy. so i know it's right; if the vet says he's just going to die slowly on us and be ripped away day by day, it shouldn't be made to be prolonged. i adore my little doggie - he's been my brother's sibling since my brother was three years old; when the world cracked and fell away from my fingers, he was there to lick away the tears; when new friends came to visit he sat by me protectively until he decided they were safe; he used to sleep on my pillow when he was a puppy; he nestles into my arms and cuddles on the couch; he sits positioned at the top of the stairs where he can keep watch on everyone in every place in the house...he's always there, he's the most beautiful combination of love, forgiveness, kindness and youth i've ever seen; he's been an angel to me in my house for 7 years, and i can't imagine one day of waking up and not seeing him bounding up joyfully to say good morning, i can't imagine a single day going by that i open the door and he no longer comes down the stairs to see who's there... and all that said, i was going to end with a poem from awhile ago, in honor of the sweetness that bounds around as my little angel puppy, but i couldn't find it. so instead, i'll close this with a poem i wrote now... tomorrow is too soon to end what daylight brings around again the hush, the still, no creaking door the sun should hide, the clouds should pour no dancing eyes to set things right the bed lies empty on that first night the air converts to a heaving haze a shadow will block out morning's glaze tomorrow is too soon to end an angel sent to be my friend a playfulness, forgiving stare the sweet takes over, there's no care suffering this angel loves still and is happy in his daily pill the heart plays a song of glee please, don't go away from me no gentle sleep, no soft sigh tomorrow's too soon to say goodbye I cannot bear the silent tear when this angel is gone from here let most of your tears be for happiness, because sadness brings heavy tears. love, sam the ? angel moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1998 01:24:54 -0500 From: Robby VanSciver Subject: ET: Windows 95 Background for those with "Active Desktop" Hello, all you EDA's! I made a Windows 95/98 Background for people with "Active Desktop" Don't know what Active Desktop is? More information on it can be found out at Microsoft's website ( http://www.microsoft.com ). It's really cool, and I highly recommend it. :) Anywhoo, my wallpaper features a Java "Lake" applet (Come on, we've all seen 'em!) on the left. The pictures that are reflected are (your choice of) two pictures of Jewel riding her horse. On the right side, I have the poem "Wild Horses" :) Download it at: http://www.crosswinds.net/virginia-beach/~vansciver/jewel/laketop.zip Visit my website, "Barcelona", too! :) http://www.crosswinds.net/virginia-beach/~vansciver/jewel/ Need help? E-Mail me back. :) (eh...I'll keep on:) With Christmas break here, and exams gone, I'll work on making a full Windows 95 Theme (probably dealing with "Spirit") So far, I have two animated cursors...hmm...3%complete ;) And just cause I'm feeling generous, my ICQ # is 3344290 :) ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1998 02:12:45 -0500 From: "Kevin Pease" Subject: ET: Re: hullo meeh dahlings >> Sam writes: >P.S. kev and doc - you out there? Me, kev? I'm around... just not spending too much time on email lately due to numerous machine meltdowns at work. Ah yes, nothing quite so fun as a 7 am to 2 am work day. :) Kevin ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1998 12:55:31 -0500 From: mandabear4@juno.com (Mandabear four) Subject: [none] Dear 'A Poet On Bleeker Street', and possibly Seth. Seth, I don't know if this will help you also. But I'm giving it a try. I know what you mean about being depressed but we all go through it. Believe me, I know. I used to be on meds because I couldn't handle my depression. I had clinical depression and post traumatic stress disorder and I was a mess. I went through hell for about 14 years before finally realizing I have the power to change how I felt. See, no matter what happens to you, you have the power and control to decide how you're gonna react and feel about a situation. You can say," i'm not going to let this bother me. This is insignificant and I don't need to stress over it." you could say, "This really does bother me. I'm going to dwell on it for a day or two and then resolve to not let it bother me." you could also say,"You know what? I'm hurting right now and it's not fair. I don't like it, I don't want to be in this depression forever. I'm going to change this when I feel a bit better." It's all in your attitude. I know what you're probably thinking, "It's easier said than done" Believe me, I never wanted to hear those words either but people just kept telling me to get out over it and one day I decided to listen. It's true that I still dwell in my depression but by doing so I've hurt so many people. I have shut out the wrong people and let in the wrong people. It's very hard. Some people believe that they have no control over their emotions but that's just it. They are *thier* own emotions. They certainly have control over them. A person has control over how they feel and respond. It's hard to hear these words from a stranger. I've been there, I know. I still am there many times. When i find myself without anyone who understands I talk to God or I write. Writing helps me sort out my feelings. I learn so much about myself by thinking things through and talking to God. The more you know about yourself, the better off you're going to be. Believe me. I have been in a serious depression for about the past two weeks. I have been on an emotional rollercoaster to nowhere. I find it's good to talk things out with people you trust and know. Sometimes it's good to talk to complete strangers like you have by emailing the EDA list. That's a good place to start. You are doing a good thing by letting it out. I am proud of you even though I have no clue who you are. It seems to me that you want out of this depression because if you didn't you wouldn't be reaching out for help like this. That is very bold. If you want to talk some more, i would be glad to help you through this. Granted I am only a 16 year old girl, but I've been through some hell in my life and believe me, I understand. I honestly don't think there's anything you've gone through or are going through that I haven't been through in my life. I've learned that talking helps. I've been to so many shrinks in my life i could be one. I pride myself on the advice i give to others. I hope you find what I've said to be useful. Email me if you want at Mandabear4@juno.com. I am always available to listen and I am a good person to talk to. Oh, and about your poem, I really liked it and can relate to it in many ways. My favorite line is ,"But these tears are afraid of heights and won't fall" Tres cool. <3 always ~Mandabear~ Somewhere down the road there'll be answers to the questions. Somewhere down the road though we cannot see it now. Somewhere down the road you'll find mighty arms reaching for you. And they will hold the answers at the end of the road. -Amy Grant- ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1998 14:44:07 -0500 From: mandabear4@juno.com (Mandabear four) Subject: ET: Rainbow Subject: if I could catch a Rainbow >>>>>>>>>IF I COULD CATCH A RAINBOW ..... >>>>>>>>>> I WOULD DO IT JUST FOR YOU > >>>> >>>>> > >>>> >>>>> AND SHARE WITH YOU ITS BEAUTY > >>>> >>>>> ON THE DAYS YOU'RE FEELING BLUE.. > >>>> >>>>> > >>>> >>>>> IF I COULD BUILD A MOUNTAIN > >>>> >>>>> YOU COULD CALL YOUR VERY OWN > >>>> >>>>> A PLACE TO FIND SERENITY > >>>> >>>>> A PLACE TO BE ALONE~~~~~~~ > >>>> >>>>> > >>>> >>>>> IF I COULD TAKE YOUR TROUBLES > >>>> >>>>> I WOULD TOSS THEM IN THE SEA~~~~~~ > >>>> >>>>> > >>>> >>>>> BUT ALL THESE THINGS I'M FINDING ARE IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME, > >>>> >>>>> I CANNOT BUILD A MOUNTAIN > >>>> >>>>> OR CATCH A RAINBOW FAIR > >>>> >>>>> > >>>> >>>>> BUT LET ME BE WHAT I KNOW BEST > >>>> >>>>> A FRIEND THAT'S ALWAYS THERE. ________________________________________________________________ Get secure free e-mail that you don't need Web access to use from Juno, the world's second largest online service. Download your free software at http://www.juno.com/getit.b.html. ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1998 15:44:56 -0600 From: gosiam@juno.com Subject: ET: i'm so IMPRESSED!!!! wow, all thses xphiles on this list. i'm so damn proud!! i haven't been writing poems for a while basically because i've been isolated and really 'dazed and confused' in the words of mr.plant. i just can't help ubt let my triue feeling show. so at school we had a x-mas party and my friends and i played all this rock, and metal, and of course jewel and sarah. from jewel we played don't and this girl and this guy started dancing right there in formt of everyone!! i was like whoa! guts. then our last song was from sarah, 'i will remember you'..heres a little something from me, naturally it ain;t that good, but what the hell right? ;P death of stars so fade with me tonight we can spend the night wrapped in stars of lace don't matter what they say today just forget all about them now it doesn't matter and it never will take these stars and with them you will kill kill them until they feel your pain kill them until they know what your all about as we lay there with all of them dead it will be the death of the stars hanging high above our heads told 'ya it wasn't that good... margaret ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1998 17:24:37 EST From: JonBoy911@aol.com Subject: ET: question answered- Where is Jon? In a message dated 12/18/98 9:22:25 PM Central Standard Time, moonsong@ix.netcom.com writes: << and the lovely and loving jon. :) so i'll ask - WHERE ARE YOU GUYS? >> I've been around. :) I closed a play a few weeks back, and then I got started on getting all my work done, and preping for midterms, which were this week. I haven't written anything organized, just thoughts, jopurnal entry stuff, no poems or prose. But, with my winter break started hopefully I can get some much needed relaxation, and FINALLY do some writing. Happy Holidays, Jon ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #318 **********************************