From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #311 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Sunday, December 13 1998 Volume 01 : Number 311 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: Jewel haters [sesykes@juno.com (§cott S.)] ET: A disturbing story [Uneaq1@webtv.net (Maggie)] Re: ET: A disturbing story [Seth Fulmer ] ET: Jewel Haters [beccahusky1@juno.com (Kristin A Maynard)] Re: ET: Jewel Haters [zerocool@sunlink.net (Niki)] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1998 23:10:00 -0600 From: sesykes@juno.com (§cott S.) Subject: ET: Jewel haters Hey EDA's I'm bringing a topic to this list hopefully everyone will reply to. On the Jewel list, several "wannabe" EDA's are trashing Jewel and her music. What do you think about this? Do you think they should be booted? ** §cott S.** -Big Sexy Angel "MISPLACED HATE MAKES A DISGRACE OF THE RACES!"-Tupac P.E.A.C.C.E President/Founder and proud EDA! ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1998 01:35:46 -0800 (PST) From: Uneaq1@webtv.net (Maggie) Subject: ET: A disturbing story This just creeped me out...but it is kinda funny...in a perverted sense of humor sense. Maggie ================================== I like monkeys... The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought this was odd since they were normally a couple thousand dollars. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I bought 200 of them. I like monkeys... I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. I laughed. They punched me in the genitals... I stopped laughing. I herded them into my room. I guess they didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into it's third hour. Two hours later, I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive; they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sort of dropped dead...you know, kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. God damn cheap monkeys. I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room; on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry monkeys. I tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while...that is, until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and I didn't want to call a plumber.   I was embarrassed. I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately, there was only enough room for two at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't go bad. I tried to burn them, but little did I know that my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and one hundred ninety-seven dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed the odor wasn't exactly improving... I became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and I really had to use the bathroom. So I went and severely beat one of the monkeys. I felt better. I tried throwing them away, but the garbage man said the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him I had a wet one. He couldn't take it either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones... I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't quite know what to say. They pretended to like them, but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals. I like monkeys. ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1998 06:26:14 -0500 (EST) From: Seth Fulmer Subject: Re: ET: A disturbing story In a weird way it is funny now that I think more about it but at first reading it, I was like "Is this a Steven King story in the making?" I mean..First of all if I had found monkeys for 5 cents I'd be the type of person to suspect something's up(i.e..the skeptic). Then...200 monkeys to 1 human....Am I the only one who sees the problem with this? Those 200 monkeys could easily overpower that one human...Ever see Gremlins? I prove my point :) But at the end I was finding a part of myself laughing because the friends were so ingrateful and the monkeys had a good way of dealing with the situation. Yeah, the gift was dead monkeys but whenever my friends give me weird gifts(and that is often), I just take the gift and act pleased to have received it. "Oh, you gave me a dirty tissue? Why, Thank YOU!!" *hugs while throwing it in the trash can behind the friend* Seth <-- Yup! That's me :o) ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1998 10:45:54 -0500 From: beccahusky1@juno.com (Kristin A Maynard) Subject: ET: Jewel Haters Well I think everyone is entitled to express their own opinion, but people who do not like Jewel and her music should not be on the EDA list. What is the point of that? If it's to express hate and nothing else then they should be kicked off. I hate the actress Katie Holmes but if she has a mailing list I'm not about to go join it just to post how much I hate her. Lists are to share news and good stories about the artist it is for, not to express how much you hate them. :) w/b Love Always, ~Kristin~ "Some things are real whether you believe in them or not," Seth City of Angels ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1998 21:05:21 -0500 From: zerocool@sunlink.net (Niki) Subject: Re: ET: Jewel Haters >Well I think everyone is entitled to express their own opinion, but >people who do not like Jewel and her music should not be on the EDA list. I so totally agree with you....If people have a problem with Jewel then why are they on the list? (haha it might be just me but I don't think that makes sense...:) People have funny ways of doing things....and I think that the people who don't like Jewel should grow up and get off the list....have some class. Niki ********************************************* Time is never time at all You can never ever leave Without leaving a piece of youth And our lives are forever changed We will never be the same The more you change the less you feel ********************************************* ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #311 **********************************