From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #210 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Monday, September 21 1998 Volume 01 : Number 210 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- Re: ET: Delurking ["The Quiet Angel" ] ET: Re: EDAF: Organization Ideas [ABershaw@aol.com] ET: Clarification from MrBB [ABershaw@aol.com] Re: ET: The way we were [JANE ] ET: EDAF: Alan's request for aid to troubled EDAs... [Aleadawehi@aol.com] ET: Re: Fwd: Re: (no subject) ["Kevin Pease" ] Re: ET: Delurking ["Kevin Pease" ] Re: ET: EDAF: Alan's request for aid to troubled EDAs... [sesykes@juno.co] Re: ET: Re: EDAF: Clarification from MrBB [sesykes@juno.com (SES Pool)] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1998 21:01:49 -0400 From: "The Quiet Angel" Subject: Re: ET: Delurking - -----Original Message----- From: Angeljlb96@aol.com >In a message dated 98-09-21 15:51:18 EDT, you write: > ><< Keep it up, we're entertained. If nothing else you'll annoy Jamie with > your tales of all the gatherings... and that alone is worth the > entertainment value. :) >> > >Well...you're not actually annoying me, just depressing me =( I've never been >to an EDA gathering, or a Jewel concert for that matter, cuz she doesn't come >here, but I did go to California to meet an EDA, and he's currently my >boyfriend, not to mention, I went to St. Louis and met Jon. Ummm...yea, >that's the extent of my gatherings!! ;-) > > How can you be depressed!?! I saw the pics of your Cali trip on your page. I'd call that a great gathering. Especially since you returned with a great souveniar (a guy in your heart). All I can say about St. Louis is "I'm sorry" ;o) > > ><< *LOL* Wow it took a lot longer than usual. I guess I should be looking out >for lead pipes leaping out of dark alleyways now. >> > > >Ok, now you're getting crazy, I don't use lead pipes anymore...they got too >messy. I find those little rubber kiddie bats a lot more fun =) > >Love, Wow check that out :oD >Jamie > Love, (I can play that game too) Abel ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1998 21:07:38 EDT From: ABershaw@aol.com Subject: ET: Re: EDAF: Organization Ideas Hi again, In a message dated 9/21/98 8:38:17 PM, kmn@philhaven.com wrote: >=) Possible organization ideas: > >=) Regional contacts (1-2 per region) could help counsel troubled >EDAs. Counseling would include > 1. Fielding unreasonable, possibly unstable, requests for Jewel. > 2. Counseling situations of depression and self-harm. > 3. Monitoring suicidal situations with access to all local Crisis > Intervention emergency phone numbers. THIS is kinda what I'm specifically aiming for as well as maybe utilizing strengths already inherent in the EDA-Thoughts list as a forum where troubles can be shared (if desired). I'm very adamant about getting something together on this. This is an ongoing dilemma that needs to be dealt with in a helpful manner. I know troubled EDAs have been helped in the past in a "behind the scenes" manner & thats good, but I know that the EDA community is now large enough that these types of situations are going to continue to arise. Any community this large should be able to establish a way to help each other. These things don't happen every day, but between my private emails & Jewel's website account, they do happen enough to warrant concern & action. I don't want this idea to die a slow death like so many other "projects". Thanks to everyone who's written so far. I encourage you to continue & to create something that is definately needed. Alan (MrBB) ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1998 21:25:03 EDT From: ABershaw@aol.com Subject: ET: Clarification from MrBB In a message dated 9/21/98 8:32:37 PM, ducksoup@spectra.net wrote: >Before any organized effort to *actively help* any troubled individuals is >planned/discussed on EDAF@smoe or EDA-thoughts@smoe, I must say that >permission HAS to be granted by Jeff Wasilko to utilize smoe.org's >resources. This is simply due to liability reasons. Hi again, I just want to clarify that I never intended to suggest setting up an official Smoe.org mailing list for this idea nor did I want to turn EDA-Thoughts into a "help-forum". Something much more specific, confidential & genuinely helpful is needed. The EDA-Thoughts forum may be a place where troubled EDAs may be able to find others who relate, but in addition to that, real resources are needed to help these distressed EDAs to find the real experienced help they so desperately need. Just want to clarify that before this degenerates into a "smoe.org pros & cons" discussion which is besides the point, IMO. Thanks for your input everybody! :-) Alan(MrBB) ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1998 20:31:41 -0700 From: JANE Subject: Re: ET: The way we were k, i'm combining a lot of stuff because i'm on digest and too lazy to do separate mails for each topic... Jamie wrote: > I really liked the poem =) > kewel, thanx Jamie :o) > Hi Rachel, do you like stuff, too!?!?!?!?!?!? who me? stuff?? naah... ;-) Abel said: > grrr... memory seems to be failing me. But that's enough to keep you > entertained (or make you uninterested). yeah, right! :) i remember waaay back when i first joined the jewel list and everyone posted their thoughts on the gatherings - yours were always some of the funniest and most entertaining. :o) okay, now for all this stuff that Mr. BB brought up... first of all props to Jamie for making the website, count me in when it's time to make a list of everyone who wants to help. :) Kevin said: > I think there's some definite potential to this idea of a 'help center' > type of thing... if we're going to ask for volunteers to talk with people & > help them, though, I think it might be a good idea to get some information > on the "how-to's" of counseling, so that everybody who's helping has at > least some sort of idea of what's up. Ideally... we'd find we have some > people who have experience with this sort of thing on the list... but if > not, we should make sure the volunteers have some information about what > they're expected to do. > i completely agree with you about this. i for one would feel really horrible if i were faced with something serious and didn't know how to handle it properly. though most of the time people just need someone to talk to, sometimes it's not enough. maybe there could also be crisis hotline numbers posted on the site just incase someone needs to talk to another person immediately and can't wait for email. just a suggestion. :) Kevin also wrote (about Seth's form letter idea): > Unfortunately, I don't think this is going to do the trick... if the > > only thing these people are holding onto is "if I could only meet > Jewel, it > would be okay..." and then they're told, "Sorry, Jewel doesn't have > time for > you...", that could just as easily push them over the edge. [...] I > think the idea with this program is for EDA's to step up and help > other people in distress... a form letter response probably isn't > going to > do too much to solve the problem - it requires time & patienceto > truly help > someone who's suicidal, and for that, I think we'd need real people > behind > the email to truly help. i agree with this as well, though some of the people that write to Jewel's aol address probably have never heard of us eda's and couldn't care less about us. maybe, instead of the form letter response that Seth proposed, it could just be something posted on the site saying who we are, along with a few quotes from Jewel about us (easily found in interviews, etc, if she can't write an actual letter... or maybe even snippets of some of the letters she's written to us in the past would work, like where she's talked about helping each other, etc... anyone understand what i'm going on about?? lol)... that way it wouldn't just be something that said *i'm too busy* but instead it would show that she *does* care, and that we aren't just people who came out of nowhere claiming to have some relevance to Jewel. :) - -Rachel - -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- "now you've cut out the flute . from the throat of the loon . at least when you cry now . he can't even hear you" -Tori Amos - -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1998 21:39:06 EDT From: Aleadawehi@aol.com Subject: ET: EDAF: Alan's request for aid to troubled EDAs... *** Alan Bershaw wrote to the EDAF list and the EDA-Thoughts list: > Here's the situation---Occasionally I get emails from >(primarily young) extremely troubled EDAs. These range >from people who are unhealthily desperate to meet Jewel >to people who are truly suicidal & are convinced that >talking to Jewel is the answer. > Jewel's website account also gets this type of >correspondance & all of us are genuinely >concerned, but we are not qualified crisis intervention >counselors. While I know some of these emails are >cruel pranks, I'm quite sure some are quite serious >& in desperate need of help. > I know many EDAs have supported each other in >times of personal crisis in the past few years. I >also know of several suicidal EDAs who've been helped >by other EDAs. > My question to you all is-- Is it possible for >something to be developed specifically to deal >appropriately with these situations? Who amongst >us is most qualified to help? If nothing else, can >you as a group, compile resources so that a person >in need of help can find it? Well, no one usually jumps into the fire quicker than me, but here's one tough problem. Alan, I sincerely doubt many of us are qualified to do this (I know I'm not). The times the group has done it has NOT been by design, but out of spur-of-the-moment necessity. Tom, Shelley, Sinjin and I once found ourselves counseling a distraught EDA at 2 AM. In that situation, you do the best you can do -- and you MUST do it. But to plan for the situation, and place yourself in the position that only a qualified professional should take is, well, foolish. Playing "doctor" with good intentions is very dangerous. Now, pointing such troubled souls toward proper help is a different matter. We could compile a list of resources, and anyone capable of handling such a situation might volunteer to "buddy up" with the individual to help them along. Actually, this falls under the category of "self help" on the EDAF road map -- along with things like developing a healthy sense of self-love and corraling distructive habits (ie, alcoholism, drugs). The EDAF would have to take the same precautions that Jewel has to -- we're not adequately qualified to counsel suicidal individuals, and we aren't sure what the most appropriate plan of action is anyway. I'd like to hear what the members of our EDAF list have to say about this, however. > This seems like a very worthy endeavor & >possibly falls into the catagory of interest among >EDAF folks as well as the EDA-Thoughts list. Or >am I way off?? > I'm not on the EDA-Thoughts list, so please >cc me anything constructive you have to say on this >(I can forward it to The EDAF people). > EDAs helping EDAs in times of crisis. What to do?? The best qualified among us to answer this might very well be Jon Reade and Mark Nissley. (Of course, now that I've logged on to send this, they've already posted -- alright guys!) Jon, I'd like to have you and Mark champion our efforts in this area, including web links and whatever wisdom y'all can lend us on this topic. Getting people to accept and love themselves is critical to the EDAF mission, and worthy of whatever support we can put behind it. Wishing I had a concrete answer for this one, Dennis Harris ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1998 22:59:55 -0400 From: "Kevin Pease" Subject: ET: Re: Fwd: Re: (no subject) >> Maggie writes: >Ummmm...shut up, all of you. My town has 600 or so people. I know EVERY >SINGLE PERSON in the HS. Hah! Correction to my prior post about the 2000-person town... That isn't a map dot. 600 people is a map dot. :) Now *that's* a seriously small town... I knew everybody in my class, the class in front of me, and the class behind me who went to my high school, at least their names... but those three classes would make up about half the population of your town... about 100 people per class. :) Kevin ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1998 23:15:20 -0400 From: "Kevin Pease" Subject: Re: ET: From MrBB to EDAF & EDA Thoughts >> Jon writes: > Now here comes the problem....how do we go about advertising? I guess we >could make a banner and ask all EDAs to place it on their websites and such, >but it will get publicity on the list for only so long and then it will be >forgotten. It would be a great addition to the list FAQ, which no one gets >anymore. I'm arguing 2 sides again. :) Excellent points, Jon... I think there might be some ways to get around this... like you mentioned, the list FAQ... possibly "administrative notices" to the lists every week or two, a link or two from the Smoe.org pages, your suggestion of banners on the EDA personal & Jewel-oriented webpages could work... if it gets good enough & big enough, there's the possibility of hooking up with other similar organizations, and having link exchanges with them... Yahoo & Search engine registration could also get it a more "public" audience, as well as getting hooked up with various web rings (I'm sure there's some) & things of that nature. So publicity isn't *too* much of a problem, the key decision to make would be to figure out how much publicity we'd want to have for the web page. As far as money for web space, there's enough web hosting services out there that offer limited (or unlimited) space for free (Angelfire, Crosswinds (unlimited but slow), Geocities, Tripod...), so that all it would truly need would be volunteers to write some simple HTML pages & do some research for information, and maybe field emails from people occasionally asking for help. Kevin ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1998 22:03:12 -0400 (EDT) From: Mark Nissley Subject: ET: Re: EDAF: Clarification from MrBB =) I agree that this should not be a Smoe issue. This is not a service that needs to be marketed or turn into a matter needing web space or list space. This would be a service that is responding to an existing need, quietly. It is already an EDA- generated matter, to which we have been responding already. It has gotten larger and needs a more organized response. If need be, a lawyer can be consulted, to discuss liability. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1998 23:42:05 -0400 From: "Kevin Pease" Subject: Re: ET: Delurking >>Abel writes: > tsk tsk. *JAMERS DON'T READ THIS!!!* EDA gatherings kick ass (most of >the time). You've got to go to the next one that your able to get to. That's the feeling I've been getting from everyone... basically, the response I've gotten was, "You FOOL! Jewelstock & Hampton Beach were the biggest EDA gatherings EVER! Perish in fire!" :) (Okay, not THAT bad, but close... :) Any new gatherings in the works for New England that anybody knows of? :) > It was another Woodstock minus the drugs and live music. Augh. That's another big concert I missed. :) Okay, so I was born 6 years after it happened... but that's no excuse. :) > But is it really worth risking my life? ;o) Really, I think Jamie's mostly harmless. :) Kevin ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1998 22:41:44 -0500 From: sesykes@juno.com (SES Pool) Subject: Re: ET: EDAF: Alan's request for aid to troubled EDAs... Here's an idea off of an idea. A lot of Angels on the list are very helpful when it comes to problem solving of this sort. I think it might be an idea to have a selcted group of people to me mentors or counselors (so to speak), which have a little training to tell how far you can handle a situation. And when a situation gets to the point where they can't help the person anymore, then possibly give the persona hotlint number or some sort of info on the topic. ** Scott S.** -Big Sexy Angel "WHY DO YOU JUDGE ME, YOU'RE NOT MY PEERS YOU AINT LOVED ME FOR YEARS!" -Tupac Shakur R.I.P _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1998 22:42:15 -0500 From: sesykes@juno.com (SES Pool) Subject: Re: ET: Re: EDAF: Clarification from MrBB On Mon, 21 Sep 1998 22:03:12 -0400 (EDT) Mark Nissley writes: >=) I agree that this should not be a Smoe issue. This is not a >service that needs to be marketed or turn into a matter needing >web space or list space. This would be a service that is >responding to an existing need, quietly. It is already an EDA- >generated matter, to which we have been responding already. >It has gotten larger and needs a more organized response. If >need be, a lawyer can be consulted, to discuss liability. > > Good point, that's the last thing the list or it's members needs is a lawsuit! ** Scott S.** -Big Sexy Angel "WHY DO YOU JUDGE ME, YOU'RE NOT MY PEERS YOU AINT LOVED ME FOR YEARS!" -Tupac Shakur R.I.P _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #210 **********************************