From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #183 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Wednesday, September 9 1998 Volume 01 : Number 183 Today's Subjects: ----------------- Re: ET: Re: thee question [Angeljlb96@aol.com] Re: ET: thee question [Angeljlb96@aol.com] Re: ET: fate [Angeljlb96@aol.com] Re: ET: Re: thee question [Angeljlb96@aol.com] Re: ET: fate [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Charlie, Cob & the GoA)] Re: ET: rollin' rollin' rollin', keep it rollin' [moonsong@ix.netcom.com ] ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #182 [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Charlie, Cob] ET: applaude applaude life is our cause [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Charlie,] Re: ET: a late night inspiration [Angeljlb96@aol.com] Re: ET: abuse topic [Angeljlb96@aol.com] ET: Pain....hope and loneliness.... [Karen Miller ] ET: Re: more on the love thing ["Kevin Pease" > HERE HERE! I've been through this one a few times...though I do have to say that I definately dig me some adventuristic-typo-guys. I like living on the edge ;-) (yea..you know me...tore the tag off my pillow the other day) But seriously...I can't stand to be bored...it's not the guy, it's me. BUt they're always considered dorks =) Love, Jamie ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1998 23:49:24 EDT From: Angeljlb96@aol.com Subject: Re: ET: thee question In a message dated 9/7/98 4:55:04 PM Central Daylight Time, sesykes@juno.com writes: << What asked in the last question was why a girl would stay with a guy who is verbally, mentally, or physically abusive to her when there are millions of "Good" men everywhere? >> Speaking on behalf of myself and many other girls, I think it's a few different reasons. 2 come to mind. 1) My cousin was sexually abused around age 11-13 and went through a series of bad boyfriends. Therefore, was so used to guys treating her like shit. In time, she felt wierd being with a guy who treated her great, and she really wasn't attracted to the "nice" guys. Now (Thank God) she's with a great guy, though. 2) (I think this one's more popular) The 2 guys that screwed me over were the sweetest and most charming men in the world when I met them. You're not falling for bad men if you don't know they're bad in the beginning. You're falling for the good (even if it is phony) in them. Just my 2 cents. Love, Jamie ~A naked thigh has much to talk about if it's just approached right~ JK ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1998 00:18:57 EDT From: Angeljlb96@aol.com Subject: Re: ET: fate In a message dated 9/7/98 11:59:25 PM Central Daylight Time, moonsong@ix.netcom.com writes: << Oh, the questions.... >> sweetie...SLOW DOWN...give it a few years =) Jamie ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1998 00:34:19 EDT From: Angeljlb96@aol.com Subject: Re: ET: Re: thee question In a message dated 9/8/98 1:56:45 AM Central Daylight Time, sesykes@juno.com writes: << On the outside, it does seem that way! BUT, if you have an inside scoop on these things, you would know that his publicist put him up to it and he got $13,000 for that little experiance. I don't mean to be rude or anything but, hollywood is a corrupt society with a lot of members. He does several things in acouple months to make him look like a sweet guy yet what about the rest of us? I work full time and spend 30 hours a week at Habitat for Humanity, help the homeless daily, give support to senior citizens daily, donate a lot of money through out the year, give blood every 9 weeks, etc... >> She wasn't trying to say "You guys suck, Leo's the bomb...", she was just pointing out that he did that. I for one, think it's HIGHLY judgemental of you to say he just did it for the money...and Hollywood's all corrupt...because YOU don't know. Jamie ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1998 22:07:25 -0700 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Charlie, Cob & the GoA) Subject: Re: ET: fate At 12:18 AM 9/9/1998, Angeljlb96@aol.com wrote: >In a message dated 9/7/98 11:59:25 PM Central Daylight Time, >moonsong@ix.netcom.com writes: > ><< Oh, the questions.... >> > >sweetie...SLOW DOWN...give it a few years =) Oh hell I was just curious darling :) Sam the ? angel moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1998 22:07:22 -0700 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Charlie, Cob & the GoA) Subject: Re: ET: rollin' rollin' rollin', keep it rollin' At 11:41 PM 9/8/1998, Angeljlb96@aol.com wrote: >In a message dated 9/7/98 4:02:59 PM Central Daylight Time, >moonsong@ix.netcom.com writes: > ><< Woke up today to find > you'd changed your mind >> > >I lost my Emily.... Yup. :) ><< i think i imagined > that you might miss me >> > >I really liked the imagery in this one Sam =) Thanks so much Jamie!!! :P Sam the ? angel moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1998 22:07:41 -0700 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Charlie, Cob & the GoA) Subject: ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #182 Sue said: >These are battered women, not psychos. They aren't imballenced, they're >scared. They've had things working against them for perhaps all their >lives, perhaps just recently. But that doesn't mean they couldn't >adjust. I think I could. Don't you think you could? Beautifully (bad word for the topic) put. >> I guess what it boils down to is this: If your motivation is to >help>the other person (and not yourself), don't pitch yourself as a >"low-fat,>healthy alternative to that jerk!"... pitch yourself as a >*friend*, who>cares, and wants to help, period. ~clap clap for the good point~ Sue wrote: > Just incase anyone missed Sams post, here's some of the parts here >again, if they could be considered notes from a text on the subject, >this is the part I would have hi-lighted, blown up and stuck up on my >wall. Wow Sam. Sometimes you really got a hold on things...I don't think >it could really be said better! Thank you sooo much Sue. *hugz hugz hugz* Hehehe. Scott wrote: >And so i shall say... Let the words fly, make the hate die, and the >thoughts kiss the sky! Wow. Funky imagery! Jamie wrote: >1) Kevin dear, I think you should write a poem for us. Hey! YEAAAAH! Kevin! Why don't ya!!!!!!!! >whore....er, I mean slut. No no no, that'd be more like, "meanie." My ex is a slut. Sam the ? angel moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1998 22:07:35 -0700 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Charlie, Cob & the GoA) Subject: ET: applaude applaude life is our cause Angels! A) Awards to: Kat Doc Rome Jason Vierling For: Wishing On The Wrong Star (by Kat) - Really tangible and expresses pain and emotions so well - I can only imagine the feeling. Paper Boat (by Doc Rome) - Truly amazing poem. Vivid and written in a very raw tone - congrats! Grandfather Ross - The second I read its title I was flooded immediately with what it could be about. Beautiful depiction of the noble and aging grandparents who seem to loom so wisely above us till we're in awe and then we're struck when they grow weak, small and die. B) >So I'm 19 and consider myself something of a liberal but apparently >i'm incredibly old fashioned... i firmly believe that the >"meaningful kind of love" should come before the "passionate >stuff". I don't understand how anyone could ever make love to Okay, I said that wrong. I see now that it sounds like I'm saying, as an author once put it, "people these days meet, have sex, and maybe fall in love." What I meant was that intense desire to be drawn to someone (aka "passionate stuff"). Sometimes it grows, sometimes it withers and dies. Hope that clarifies. >i was reading parts of "reviving ophelia" the other day and the Isn't that the most wonderful book? >think that still the same message is needed: that you can find >something meaningful at a young age. i'm 19 and i talk to my Very good point. >boyfriend about everything... deaths i've experienced, self-hatred, >self-destructiveness, and all the other things that eat at my >soul... i've cried to him and he's cried to me, he's seen me at my >worst and at my best... and he knew me inside out before we ever >even kissed. he gives me comfort even as i'm just starting to >realize that i need it, because he realizes what i'm feeling even >as i am. you don't have to have a relationship that lacks a deep >emotional connection; you don't have to settle for less than what >you want for forever. you don't have to think "i'm too young to >have that kind of relationship, the kind that has the potential to >last forever" and you don't have to be with someone who gives you >less than what you need. I think that's the most wonderful thing....That's precisely what I'm dreaming of too. Hope I find it someday. >:) Girls>*can't* look bad when they're dancing... I think it's a >federal law or>something... it's just physically impossible for them to >look bad when they>dance. > What? HA! Gimmie a ticket!You obviously haven't seen me. (Lucky you) >take back that stereotype!! I was gona say, WHAT? Because I for one am under the impression that ('scuse this) I can't dance for shit. Now with some practice :-* I could, but as it is...HAH! >>But I know a lot of guys (myself included) look like idiots when >>they try to dance. > Ew! You grow four more legs and do the funky chicken on your back?! LoL. That's funny. Okay, weird, I've had the opposite experience. Everyone is different, this totally proves it too. At a party, the guys were just the best, most amazing dancers, and the girls moved their shoulders but not their legs (and barely at that) or danced around like fairies or, worse yet, thought they were ballerinas. I know, I know, I'm waaay too judgemental. But what can I say? This is my main most self conscious envoirnment we're talking about here. >>Of course, the logical thing to do is, take some dance lessons... I'm Yup, that's true. And if you get really into it - dance rules so how can you not? - take all kinds. Hip hop for those bee-bopin' parties (yeah yeah I just had to make it rhyme), swing goes anywhere, then there's the ballroom-with-a-twist....From the way I talk you'd think I could dance great. Thing is, I'm great at picking up on what I *should* do, but when it comes down to it? Hehe. Overshadowed by the goth on the table, thank you very much. Sam the ? angel moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1998 01:10:13 EDT From: Angeljlb96@aol.com Subject: Re: ET: a late night inspiration In a message dated 9/8/98 2:51:57 PM Central Daylight Time, ICURMINE@aol.com writes: << can u feel it? a little to the left... thats it! >> I got some REALLY sick visuals for a minute there, Tim =) But anyway...I really liked the poem. =) Love, Jamie ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1998 01:14:44 EDT From: Angeljlb96@aol.com Subject: Re: ET: abuse topic In a message dated 9/8/98 2:56:09 PM Central Daylight Time, sesykes@juno.com writes: << If i was a little weakling with 0.9995% muscle i could still win a fight! >> That's simply wonderful, Scott, but that's not what we're discussing here. For one thing, it's not as easy as you think, and you're right, you won't be put in the position, so I don't think she should be speaking as if it were fact. For another...you're wrong...in this case...sometimes size does actually matter...classes or no classes. And I for one know...whether they're beating the hell out of you or not, it's awfully dificult to throw love away. Jamie ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1998 22:18:08 -0700 From: Karen Miller Subject: ET: Pain....hope and loneliness.... hello you peeps! Please forgive me but I wish to speak but I am afraid I will be pulled part from lim to lim and I do not need that again. I need to ask one question of thee.......and I will say goodnight...And my question is.. Why must I feel that pain why must I never feel his touch I one thing I can understand has been taken from me. Sorry if I have disturbed you but I want o know am I the only one with a broken heart and a broken soul I gave my heart to many and yet I was rejected in return. So please I ask of thee this. Why is it that when you love somebody or you feel you do they don't even know they exist. Sam- you admit to having love then losing. It has better to loved and lost then to have never loved at all. And from the way your poems are written you could be 19 or 20. Naomi- you sound as though you have seen the world and traveled many places and have seen many things yet I am just a small town girl wanting to make it big. And you too also seem older like 20. GIRLS, be happy for what you seen for think on what you would be like if you hadn't seen any of it at all. Good night and farwell indead. holly "Sugar and spice and everything nice. Acid, a smack and no way back." - -Go Ask Alice ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1998 01:43:00 -0400 From: "Kevin Pease" Subject: ET: Re: more on the love thing >> Sam writes: >You can have the same kind of love with many people? Kind of a freaky >thought for me :) to be "joined at heart" with so many people. Well, I'm not saying you *will* meet and fall in love with all sorts of people, and be unable to choose between them all... really, my point was, it's possible to fall in love, and be happy, with many people... I don't believe there is a particular "one" for any one person... you'll find someone you love, undoubtedly... and you will feel that that person is "the one", and that is good. But I don't believe that a missed chance once in your life is going to ruin your chances for happiness forever... Kevin ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1998 01:53:13 EDT From: Angeljlb96@aol.com Subject: Re: ET: abuse topic In a message dated 9/8/98 5:38:17 PM Central Daylight Time, kbpease@boston.crosswinds.net writes: << And if she says "Bye, see you later," you don't think that he'd try to hurt her? You don't think she knows this? >> I wanted to add another point to this that I just thought of. I don't know about every woman, so I'm not gonna generalize, but in my own experience, I think I should point out that self-esteem is a big factor... not so much the "who else would want me?" in it, but more the "maybe he's right...maybe I am an ass" etc. Get my drift? Jamie ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1998 01:58:58 EDT From: Angeljlb96@aol.com Subject: Re: ET: abuse topic In a message dated 9/8/98 6:30:14 PM Central Daylight Time, sesykes@juno.com writes: << I wanted to end this because it is a Jewel list and we've kinda veered of course of the list. >> nope nope nope...as I tried to tell you before when you started your little list, this is the THOUGHTS list...not Jewel...it's just called EDA because it consists of...EDAs... Jamie ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1998 02:14:06 EDT From: Angeljlb96@aol.com Subject: Re: ET:Re:my two cents on Re: thee question In a message dated 9/8/98 10:09:32 PM Central Daylight Time, wsr@hotmail.com writes: << These are battered women, not psychos. They aren't imballenced, they're scared. They've had things working against them for perhaps all their lives, perhaps just recently. But that doesn't mean they couldn't adjust. I think I could. Don't you think you could? >> *raises hand* I for one second that! Jamie ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1998 02:18:23 -0400 From: "Kevin Pease" Subject: ET: Re: thee gooddancer/baddancer >> Sue writes: > Can I ask a question? How often have you tried? Really? Hey, fair question, but I actually *do* go out with my friends a couple times a month and actually attempt to dance... I really don't seem to get much better from week to week, honest. :) >John Travolta probably looked like a fool when he started too. And lord knows, I'm no John Travolta. :) > What? HA! Gimmie a ticket!You obviously haven't seen me. (Lucky you) >take back that stereotype!! Hey, that was a *good* stereotype. I don't care if the girls can't dance well, from a technical standpoint... they still look good dancing, from an aesthetic point of view. :) > Ew! You grow four more legs and do the funky chicken on your back?! >hmmm, I found your problem! Well... not quite. But I do know a guy who used to do the kick-worm (I think that's what he called it... :) at parties, when sufficiently inebriated, and properly encouraged. :) That was always pretty funny, and not too far from the funky chicken on his back. :) Suffice it to say, I just don't have the smooth motions necessary for dancing. :) I enjoy it, and I like most of the music... but I doubt I'll ever be "good" at it. Kevin ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1998 02:35:10 -0400 From: "Kevin Pease" Subject: Re: ET:Re:my two cents on Re: thee question >> Sue writes: > I think that this is the wrong perspective to take on this kind of >situation. Just because they aren't in a good relationship doesn't mean >they wont be able to handle the transition to one. Personally, I'd see >it as more of a breath of freash air. Sanity returned, you know? Like, >how wonderful do you think it would be for them to know that there are >people out there who will love them and not hurt them? I'm not saying they won't, but... well, the best way I can think of to describe it is that I think it tends to be a sort of "rebound" effect... a lot of people that get into relationships (normal or otherwise) fresh out of another relationship (normal or otherwise) end up being very unhappy with the new relationship at some point, because their emotions are confused & mixed up. Yes, it's possible that they could handle it... and it's entirely possible that they'd even welcome it. I think it would be a better idea to help a battered woman become more independent, though, rather than encourage her to get straight into another "love" relationship... she definitely needs friends, but I think getting into another relationship straightaway is probably not the best thing, in the long run, for the woman. >These are battered women, not psychos. They aren't imballenced, they're >scared. They've had things working against them for perhaps all their >lives, perhaps just recently. But that doesn't mean they couldn't >adjust. I think I could. Don't you think you could? I know I could, and I know anybody else is capable of it, as well... and I'm sorry if I made it sound like I believed that battered women were psychos, that truly wasn't what I meant. However, I would say that people who get into relationships like these *are* imbalanced in a mental way, and *do* need some time "alone" (i.e., not in a relationship), to learn to be independent, and to learn to adjust to having things the way they want to have them. (Note - I'm not saying "imbalanced" in a "they're sick" sense... I'm saying that, their minds have been messed with for so long, to expect that they'd adjust overnight I think is an unrealistic expectation... their minds are off-balance, and need some time to get things under control.) I wouldn't expect anybody to adjust to a change like that in a short period of time, and that's basically the reason I say forcing someone into a new relationship right away isn't such a hot idea. I could be wrong, but I really think that friendship & support is more important at that point. > Yes. And no, because you see it as wrong and you want to help does not >make you bad. If your using mind control, then yes, your a dirty bastard >who only wants something for your own means. This is my point... to approach someone that you really like, who's in an abusive relationship, and say, "Hey, he's all wrong for you, I'd be much better... dump the jerk..." this is really what I'm talking about. That, to me, is approaching it with selfish motivations, and will lead to a lot of frustration, and probably pain. > Now that's what I mean > Sorry for continuous blabbing Don't expect me to yell at you for "continuous blabbing..." that's my trademark here... :) I like hearing what you (and everybody else) have to say, and I'm certainly not going to get mad because you want to say something. Keep it up, and don't be sorry! :) Kevin ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #183 **********************************