From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #178 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Tuesday, September 8 1998 Volume 01 : Number 178 Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: Hey everyone [sesykes@juno.com (Scott - E Sykes)] Re: ET: Re: thee question [sesykes@juno.com (Scott - E Sykes)] ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #174 [alie campbell ] Re: ET: Re: thee question ["Kevin Pease" ] Re: ET: Re: thee question ["Kevin Pease" ] Re: ET: Re: thee question ["Kevin Pease" ] ET: Re: fate ["Kevin Pease" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1998 01:49:40 -0500 From: sesykes@juno.com (Scott - E Sykes) Subject: ET: Hey everyone Hey everyone, If i'm offending anyone, please tell me! I don't want anyone mad at me, this is like a debate to me. No holds barred! Gracias, ** Scott S.** -Big Sexy Angel "MISPLACED HATE MAKES DISGRACED RACES!" -Tupac Shakur R.I.P _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1998 01:38:42 -0500 From: sesykes@juno.com (Scott - E Sykes) Subject: Re: ET: Re: thee question On the outside, it does seem that way! BUT, if you have an inside scoop on these things, you would know that his publicist put him up to it and he got $13,000 for that little experiance. I don't mean to be rude or anything but, hollywood is a corrupt society with a lot of members. He does several things in acouple months to make him look like a sweet guy yet what about the rest of us? I work full time and spend 30 hours a week at Habitat for Humanity, help the homeless daily, give support to senior citizens daily, donate a lot of money through out the year, give blood every 9 weeks, etc... On Mon, 7 Sep 1998 20:30:24 -0700 Karen Miller writes: > > >Thank you! I dont know leo personally but he isa really nice guy. He >went and saw a injuried gymnastics girl because she became paralist >and she wanted to meet him from the make a wish foundation and he also >had a speacial lunch for girls with cancer or lukiema he is a very >sweet man. > >holly > >personally, that's a nice guy! And, from what i've heard, Leo aint >all >that in A LOT of ways! > > > >On Mon, 7 Sep 1998 21:05:33 -0400 "Kevin Pease" > writes: >>>> Scott - E Sykes writes: >>>Why is it that women say they can't find a good man when one is most >>>likely sitting next to him? >> >> My feeling on this is, they don't know they're sitting next to a >>good >>man if the good man doesn't speak up. :) I've been told that many >>times, >>and I think it's true, from people I know... A lot of the "nice" guys > >>I know >>would range in a description of social abilities from "fairly shy" to >>"downright antisocial"... I'd like to think I'm a pretty nice guy, >and >>I >>still always have a lot of problems meeting women, and a lot of it is >>because (as I've mentioned before), I *hate* starting conversations >>with >>people I don't know... I suck at it, plain and simple. That right >>there is >>probably 75% of the reason why the fact that I'm a "nice guy (tm)" >>hasn't >>show through. :) The same thing applies to a lot of my friends... >>they're >>real nice guys, but they're terrified to go up and talk to a girl. >>(For the >>record: I'm not terrified, I just sound like a complete moron... I >>ain't >>got that "je ne sais quois" (French for: "smooth-talking, >>steroid-enhanced, >>perfect-haired movie star look." :) ) >> Another thing I believe is that some younger girls (and please >>don't >>beat me, 'cause a lot of you ARE younger than me... this is my >>opinion, not >>a sociological fact that I've established. There are undoubtedly >>exceptions. :) seem to be looking for an "exciting" sort of guy... >>there >>comes an age where the nice guys actually have an edge (from what >I've >>seen, >>after college, it seems to start reversing a bit), because the girls >>are >>looking for more than someone with attractive chin stubble and a fast > >>car. >>(AGAIN: I am not naming names, or saying this is the way all girls >>see >>things, or even that this is the way MOST girls see things... I've >>noticed >>it in some, and I think this contributes to the attitude Scott >>mentioned. >>If you don't like what I'm saying, disagree... just don't mail bomb >>me. :) >>I can't really blame them... if I were a 17 year old girl, and I was >>given >>the option to choose between: Me, or Leonardo DiCaprio, I'd choose >>Leonardo >>hands down, too. He looks & seems more like the exciting type of >guy, >>who >>will fly someone to Paris for the evening, and then maybe get >involved >>in a >>high speed chase through Beverly Hills. Whereas *I* am the sort of >>guy who >>believes that driving fast is fun sometimes, but really... nobody >wins >>when >>we play games with traffic safety. And you better forget about >flying >>to >>Paris for the evening with me... I live within a budget. :) Guys >who >>can >>come across as attractive, exciting, and "so money"... they're the >>ones who >>are more noticeable. I come across as average, cautious, and "well, >I >>have >>a job at least...", and that's why I don't get noticed when I'm >>standing >>next to one of those other guys. >> >>>I've been told so many stories of abusive >>>relationships where the girl gets hit or whatever and she's with >him >>to >>>the day. I can understand the love does have a factor in >>relationships >>>but why him when right around the corner might be a guy who loves to > >>give >>>flowers, lie underneath the stars talking about life and love's >>little >>>mysteries? >> >> There's a lot more to abusive relationships than love, though... >>it has >>a lot to do with "power" in the relationship, and the way the >>particular guy >>and girl approach their respective roles in the relationship... past >>histories have a lot to do with this type of relationship as well. >>Abusers >>were often abused... Abusees were often abused, as well... many of >the >>abusers end up copying their childhood role models, and many of the >>abusees >>often can't break free from their attachment to their childhood >>abusers... >>unfortunately, a vicious cycle, and one that can't be explained by a >>simple, >>"He says he loves me," or "She says she loves me..." To many people >>in >>relationships like this, they have no real conception of the >existence >>of >>people who *don't* abuse, and what it's like to be loved without the >>fear of >>being socked in the face... it's the norm, and it's accepted that >>people hit >>or get hit by both parties... It's not right, but it's the sad, >>unfortunate >>way it works. >> >> Kevin >>---------- >>Kevin Pease kbpease@boston.crosswinds.net >>(ICQ UIN: 3106063) (AOL Instant Messenger: kbpease) >> http://www.crosswinds.net/boston/~kbpease >>"Sometimes I sing like my life is at stake, >> 'cause you're only as loud as the noises you make..." >> ---(Ani DiFranco)--- >> >> > > ** Scott S.** > -Big Sexy Angel > >"MISPLACED HATE MAKES DISGRACED RACES!" > -Tupac Shakur R.I.P > >_____________________________________________________________________ >You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. >Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com >Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] > > > ** Scott S.** -Big Sexy Angel "MISPLACED HATE MAKES DISGRACED RACES!" -Tupac Shakur R.I.P _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1998 09:01:01 -0700 (PDT) From: alie campbell Subject: ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #174 why do girls fall in love with jerks? i can only answer this from my perspective, when i was 8, and you can say that at 8 i cant fell that but your wrong, i fell in love with my best friends brother, it wasnt like all of a sudden it was very gradual. he had long dyed black hair, did drugs, and was a highschool drop out, and i know all of you were thinking loser, but i felt love towards him anyways, well thats been going on for almost 8 years, i havent seen him in around 1 or 2 years, but i still have an attachment to him, he called me names, and basically treated me like crap but any attention he gave to me, i thought i was blessed. im glad i dont see him anymore because im sure that i would be a lot less self confident than i am now, because he would cut me down, but he still has a part of me that will always be there, no matter what happens in my life, now about the nice guys, none seem to want to go out with me, i am often considered annoying because i am very energetic, i like to do goofy things, i go to the mall and dance in the stores with my mom, thats the kind of person i am, and it seems to me that the "nice guys" seem to be turned off by this, i may be wrong but thats how it seems to me, i have tons of nice guy friends, but they never want to be something more, why is that? alie _________________________________________________________ DO YOU YAHOO!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1998 11:24:55 -0400 From: "Kevin Pease" Subject: Re: ET: Re: thee question >> Summer Burton writes: >Although I disagree, I find that what you say IS true for some girls. However, >let us not forget in these discussions that all these things are reversible. I totally agree, and I didn't mean to come across as if I was saying it's *only* this way with girls... I was addressing Scott's question, primarily - he asked why girls do it... I think you're right, there's a lot of guys who don't look for anything but a big chest and nice legs... and I think with guys, as well... there comes a point when this changes, and the "nice girls" become more desireable. I mean, yeah... the girl with the great body and the pierced nose and tattoos may look exotic and different... but exotic and strange isn't always better... and I think guys start to realize it somewhere along the way, as well. Sorry if I made it sound like I was saying "ONLY" girls do this... I was responding to Scott's question about girls, so I wasn't really thinking about the other side. My bad. :) Kevin - ---------- Kevin Pease kbpease@boston.crosswinds.net (ICQ UIN: 3106063) (AOL Instant Messenger: kbpease) http://www.crosswinds.net/boston/~kbpease "Sometimes I sing like my life is at stake, 'cause you're only as loud as the noises you make..." ---(Ani DiFranco)--- ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1998 11:43:03 -0400 From: "Kevin Pease" Subject: Re: ET: Re: thee question >> Summer Burton writes: >You say that to me, but I am the only person who took any issue with the fact >that the guys in this discussion keep saying "girls do this, why do girls do >this", etc, etc, about things that *I*, nor any of my friend do? If I'm >generalizing it's in response to their generalizations, I'm usually the one >that defends guys on issues like this... Hey now... :) I thought I was pretty clear in my post that I wasn't trying to generalize about all girls, either... I said "some" girls... and like I said, it was based on personal experience, as well. :) I was attempting to give a possible explanation that would jive with Scott's observations... like I said, I wasn't trying to pass it off as an established sociological fact... So, just to make it absolutely clear, and remove all doubt: I, Kevin Pease, (hereafter, "The Undersigned") was in no way trying to make a rash generalization about the way all girls behave. The Undersigned realizes that there are many girls out there who do not fit into the pattern he described (hereafter, "The aforementioned statement"), and, in fact, there are many girls who are not like that. The aforementioned statement was made to illustrate (ad hoc demonstradum quo vadis quorum) personal experience, and in no way was it to be interpreted as a generalization about all girls. Do not try this at home, and sorry, kids - you must be at least 18 years old to call. :) Kevin - ---------- Kevin Pease kbpease@boston.crosswinds.net (ICQ UIN: 3106063) (AOL Instant Messenger: kbpease) http://www.crosswinds.net/boston/~kbpease "Sometimes I sing like my life is at stake, 'cause you're only as loud as the noises you make..." ---(Ani DiFranco)--- ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1998 11:34:26 -0400 From: "Kevin Pease" Subject: Re: ET: Re: thee question >> Karen Miller writes: >Thank you! I dont know leo personally but he isa really nice guy. > He went and saw a injuried gymnastics girl because she became > paralist and she wanted to meet him from the make a wish foundation > and he also had a speacial lunch for girls with cancer or lukiema he > is a very sweet man. Okay... I knew I'd probably get jumped for using Leo as an example. Should've stuck with Brad Pitt. :) Anyway, I'm not saying that Leo *isn't* a nice guy, he could very well be, for all I know. However, I would tend to be a little wary of buying into the star's image... maybe I'm just cynical, but those things he did could very easily have been done so he could get some good press. I'd like to think he did it because he wanted to, but... I've heard other things about Leo that lend credence to the idea that he's a temperamental, egocentric Hollywood type... Temper tantrums about not winning various awards foremost among them. Anyway, he could be a real cool guy, and that wasn't my original point... the point was, "someone like I described" will often win out over the "nice guy" because of the excitement and glamour factor... Leo was picked because he happens to be hot property these days, not because I think he's any worse or any better than the rest of the movie stars these days. Kevin - ---------- Kevin Pease kbpease@boston.crosswinds.net (ICQ UIN: 3106063) (AOL Instant Messenger: kbpease) http://www.crosswinds.net/boston/~kbpease "Sometimes I sing like my life is at stake, 'cause you're only as loud as the noises you make..." ---(Ani DiFranco)--- ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1998 13:28:40 -0400 From: "Kevin Pease" Subject: ET: Re: fate >> Sam writes: >Ok, this making your own fate thing as Kevin put it...that's pretty nifty >but that also sends a really scared feelin through this lil ? angel here. >Y'know I totally believe in the whole fate/destiny thing, that hopefully >we'll all meet and fall in love with whoever the "one person" we're >destined for is. Well... I don't mean to say I don't believe in "destiny", but I firmly believe we make our own. You're offered opportunities and chances every day of your life... what you do with them is how you go about "making" your own fate. I don't believe that there's any thing I'm absolutely destined to do, nor do I believe that there's any one person I'm absolutely destined to meet. I think, basically, the "one person" you're destined for is the person you decide you want to be with. It's all about taking the chances & doing something with what you're given & what you're offered, to me. To me, saying that I'm "fated" to do something, or meet someone... it sounds sort of like an excuse to sit back and wait for the world to come to me, and I don't believe it ever will... if I want something, I have to go out and go after it. >But does it ever freak anyone else out that a) maybe >there's not just one person (big question in my inquiring mind) and b) what >if there's a slight slip of chance and you never do meet the person of your >dreams? Would that still be fate just cloaked, or would that be twisting >and distorting "fate" (and what IS fate)? Those are two very good questions. For A. (maybe there's not just one person), I don't think there is *one* person... some are better than others, some are worse than others, but I don't think there's any single one person who is "the best" match for a person. In answer to part b, I'd say that, the way I look at it, fate doesn't allow for chance happenings. To me, fate = predestination, in other words - no matter what you do, or how hard you try to change the outcome, something that is fated to happen will happen. I prefer to believe that we can all change our lives, and that we determine our own direction in life. The choices you make determine your "fate"... maybe it doesn't work this way, who knows... but this is the way I'm most comfortable thinking. :) >Do you have to date everyone in >the world to see who fits you best? No, because this is based on the assumption that you're going to find someone who fits you "best"... I don't think there is such a thing as a "perfect" fit between two people... some people work better together than others, but I don't really believe that it's possible to find someone who complements you perfectly. I also think that if you start off from the standpoint of saying, "Well, this person is all right, but we're not perfect together," you're just setting yourself up for a string of unhappy relationships. This is not to say that it's not possible to find a better relationship, or that people should stop looking... but at some point, good enough has to be good enough. :) >How do you know when you're in love? >What if you think you are and then you meet someone else and you feel like >you love THEM? Are there just different kinds of love? I think that's it, really. There are different "kinds" & intensities of love, and I think we all love different people for different reasons. There's no Cosmo quiz that will tell you, "if you scored from 1 - 5, you're in love. If you scored from 6 - 15, keep seeing him or her, but keep your options open. If you scored above 15, call that loser up now and dump him/her." :) I wish there was something like that, really... but somebody else can't really tell you how to know when you're in love. >How do you know >what to do or how do you feel so that you lead a happy life? Good question... and again, I think this is something that everybody has to kind of answer for themselves... if you're happy, then that's how you go about leading a happy life. If you're not happy, then you need to figure out what would make you happy, and go after that. >If you fall >in love with everyone you go out with then is that really love? I'd say yes. I've loved, in one way or another, all of the girls I've dated for extended periods of time. (I don't fall in love on the first date, I mean. :) In many ways, I still love them, and I certainly wouldn't say I hate them, or wish them ill... but at some point, we just weren't "right" with each other, despite the fact that I loved them. Loving different people doesn't cheapen the emotion for the people who came before, it's just a different feeling for the people who came before. I'd say that falling in love with everyone you go out with (within reason... I assume we're not talking "I love you, let's get married" after one date... :) isn't a bad way to go about things, on the whole. Really, what's the point in going out with someone if you're not looking for someone to love? Kevin - ---------- Kevin Pease kbpease@boston.crosswinds.net (ICQ UIN: 3106063) (AOL Instant Messenger: kbpease) http://www.crosswinds.net/boston/~kbpease "Sometimes I sing like my life is at stake, 'cause you're only as loud as the noises you make..." ---(Ani DiFranco)--- ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #178 **********************************