From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #151 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Tuesday, August 25 1998 Volume 01 : Number 151 Today's Subjects: ----------------- Re: ET: Re: "perfect" ["Seth D. Fulmer" ] Re: ET: Re: haiku/80s [Angeljlb96@aol.com] ET: Without You By My Side [Angeljlb96@aol.com] ET: hey jon [Karen Miller ] ET: SAM IS BAAA-AAACK!!!!!!!!! [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us)] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1998 00:25:33 -0400 From: "Seth D. Fulmer" Subject: Re: ET: Re: "perfect" At 04:54 PM 8/24/98 -0400, Kevin Pease wrote: > Giving up, or changing their opinion of you as the most love-worthy >thing in the world both come to mind as potential alternatives. Some people >seem to go out of their way to make themselves un-loveable... Even a person >with nothing but love to give can only give so much love. Why anybody would >sit there and say to themselves, "I really think I want to hurt myself I don't make myself unloveable to the general public but if I'm trying to break through someone's defenses, I'd do anything...you name it...if it would get past their defenses. >today," is well beyond my capabilities to understand. And then keep on >trying when somebody who loves them is trying desperately to stop them... >well, I just don't get that. But I'd say that setting out with the >knowledge & intent of hurting yourself would certainly be a strange way to >go about your day, and showing other people that you're loveable. I could care less if they think I'm loveable. In most times, if I notice people getting annoyed at my presence...like I'm talking too much or in the way, then I have 2 actions I do depending on my mood...One is to increase my annoying activity and talk more...be more in the way...etc. The 2nd is to go into hiding because I'm being annoying. If they don't want me around, that's cool with me. > Why is getting through to peoples' weaknesses such a big deal with you? >And WHY do you seem to think that lacking the capacity for anger & hatred is >a weakness? I guess what I really don't get is your competitive view of >other people merely as "objects" to be bested and pushed aside. There's way >more to life than getting your rocks off pointing out what you perceive to >be someone's "weaknesses". If someone is radiating a good quality, I search for their weakness so that I can bring them down and humble them. Then I go about my business like nothing happened. > ?? Sounds to me like, if he's trying to prevent others from >"subverting" him, he needs a whole heck of a lot of control and mastery over >his environment. What will he do to prevent others from subverting him? >Either keep others out of his own little environment, or destroy them? I have no clue what that was about exactly. if "he" was referring to me, my environment refers to my personality and I do try to keep people out of my personality and from knowing too much about me. However, what I wouldn't give for someone who could see past my walls and see who I really am. The person would be really dear to me. > (Actually, if you want to bring physics into it... one of the laws of >physics states that Force = Mass times Acceleration. Since I would expect a >sumo wrestler's acceleration to be much lower than mine, I would expect that >he would probably not hit with a much harder force than I was capable of >hitting. I may have a smaller mass, but I can move faster. And you might >be surprised at the hits you learn how to take when you play hockey of any >sort. :) LOL! I know what you mean about that...I went to 2 hockey games...They get hit hard! > You do realize that's a joke? I actually think stuff like that is >pretty funny most of the time. Same thing as I think that the little fat >kid on South Park was pretty funny when he said something along the lines >of, "Hey missy, why don't you go knit me a sweater!?" That stuff is said in >jest, why should it bother you? It is?!? I use it as more...Whenever a female is getting thoroughly on my nerves, I say the same thing but with females in it. > Wow... these generalizations are HUGE. I don't know that all females >are more caring and cry more often and are more open about their >personalities... I know plenty of girls who are very guarded when it comes >to talking to people... I know plenty of guys who will sit there, and weep >and wail over their whole life story if you ask them. Sounds to me like >you're buying into gender stereotypes in a big way. I know at least 2 dozen females and every single one of them are like this. I haven't bought into any stereotypes except for looking at the females to see if this was true about them. In fact I outright hate people who fit stereotypes. I actually prefer females that are more like the stereotypical male and have a tough skin around them so to speak...someone I can play with and not worry about hurting feelings or anything. > As far as girls being real "#@#$%" to guys just before & during their >periods... this is also a tremendously variable thing. My sister can be a >real pain in the ass (no offense, I love her, but she can be... :) one >month, and the next month, she's 'business as usual.' I've known plenty of Well, I have to admit my friend Becki's nice as pie when she's in her time...but she just doesn't want to talk. But my friend Sue from A Phi O at a chapter in Arizona...The one night I was just being the same ol' self I always am and she's saying I was asking stupid questions(when I wasn't asking anything) and saying I was annoying....So, I "took some time off" and when I came back I was cautious when talking to her and actually wasn't nuts about seeing her...even though we were just friends. >girls who are like this. And really... is it all that illogical? When they >get like that, they're obviously not feeling well... when I'm in pain, or >feeling sick, I get very irritable with people, as well. It's not >illogical, it's human nature. (And besides, if we weren't doing annoying >stuff most of the time, anyway, they wouldn't get so irritated. :) Well, I have to admit that I see what you're saying here. When I have gas, I'm really irritable and I sung out a whole slew of curse words at a Volvo in front of my mom the one day because I wasn't feeling well..and my mom just looked at me..."You're not feeling well, are you Seth?".."No!" > I'll tell you what, once a month, you have somebody kick you in the >crotch... that'll make you feel rotten and irritable once a month, so then Only for a few minutes though...Pain is something that once you learn to accept, it's very commonplace and easy to devalue..at least for me it is. >you can come back against it. Myself, I'm going to just be nice to the >girls when they get irritable, and hope I don't get kicked in the jimmies. How can you be nice when no matter what you do, they're always going to not like what you do...even if you help them out. >I don't feel any need to turn the tables on them, I'll just take human >nature into account, and not overreact when I say something stupid and get >yelled at for it. :) I don't use human deficiency as an excuse for a behavior change. There should be a way to counteract the deficiency...as pain is ignored for me > So then be sympathetic and use those "caring, open" qualities to try to >help her feel a little better. You're not going to change her physiology, >and I doubt your physiology is going to change, either. So just be nice >about it, and step lightly. I don't have to worry about Becki but Sue is a complete ____ when in that time...I think I'd rather go on a vacation every 28 days rather than be nice because I'm always nice to people unless they're not nice to me. If a female in her period wants to attack me, she can go right ahead...I treat them just the same way. > ?? These are biological differences? I was under the impression that >curtseying went out of style a hundred or two hundred years ago, and that it >was strictly a societal thing. I can just imagine Jacques Cousteau... Actually, curseying is taught to young girls moreso but that's about it. But bowing is done by the males, so curtseying(or something else) should be done by females to be even...Also, I know those are cultural differences but I still dislike them. >"We've tracked the pregnant female for hours... she is about to give birth. > It appears to be a female child, and... yes, it's a female, >and as you can see, she's trying to curtsy. Female babies instinctually >begin curtsying soon after their first breath. In contrast, the males begin >bowing." > Ladies, WHY didn't anybody tell me that you all knew how to curtsy, and >that you instinctively know how to follow in ballroom dancing? I wish >someone had told me... :) hehehe :) No...They're taught it by their mothers and the bowing is taught by their fathers..or in society. > Please don't, you've already bought into enough gender stereotypes to >keep me laughing for the next hour. :) And besides, are we talking My date for my senior prom DID do this. She was in the bathroom more than out on the dance floor. This actually happened. > The more important question is, why are you like this? If someone's >mad, or in pain, or sad, or frustrated, I can be very sympathetic, but to >say that I "feel" what they are feeling, I don't think that's accurate, and >really, I think it's a little bit presumptuous & arrogant to think that I >can "know" what that other person feels. I think I'm going to stick with >listening, giving advice when it's asked, and being sympathetic... if I've >been in a similar situation before, I can use my own past experience to >guide me, but I still can't "know" what that person is feeling. Different >things affect people different ways. Why not just feel *your own* emotions >when somebody around you is upset in some way? That's much harder than >trying to mirror back what you think they're feeling. Well, then explain why earlier this morning I saw a dog on the road struggling to get to the curb and I doubled over in pain. I just continued going until I couldn't see the dog and I just changed the subject in my mind. Take care and Have a Great Day!! :) I hope I haven't offended anyone :) Seth D. Fulmer mailto:kaosking@voicenet.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1998 03:17:37 EDT From: Angeljlb96@aol.com Subject: Re: ET: Re: haiku/80s In a message dated 8/24/98 10:23:17 PM Central Daylight Time, kbpease@boston.crosswinds.net writes: << After all, as we all know, my motto is "Anything to make Jamie happy." :) >> It's a way of life...now run along dear =) Fetch that movie...and you'd better love it =) Jamie ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1998 03:43:05 EDT From: Angeljlb96@aol.com Subject: ET: Without You By My Side Hi angels... I don't know if you guys remember this, but a few months ago I set up a poll to settle an arguement between me and my friend Priscilla (prism14960@aol.com). We were fighting over a word in the song "Without You By My Side". The line was... ~It's the little things I never thought about much, but miss most in the end...like those _______ red wine kisses, and the candlelight and the poetry...~ Well...Cilla thought it was sweet and I swore it to be sleepy. The poll showed a landslide of something like 24 sleepy, 2 sweet, but CIlla still wouldn't accept it =) WELL...2 days ago...she confessed. She was listening to an RA of it...and after hearing the song HUNDREDS of time...she finally heard sleepy...SO YEA!!!!! IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAR BUT I FINALLY GOT HER IN MY GRASP!!! umm...sorry, anyway, so change it on your lyrics pages if you're up to it (INCLUDING you Cilla =)) Love, Jamie *the everyotherday angel* http://members.aol.com/angeljlb96/grey-matter.html ~How quick my heart wants to believe I'll never be lonely again~ JK ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 24 Aug 1998 21:42:33 -0700 From: Karen Miller Subject: ET: hey jon jon i need a another fav will you email me privately? holly ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1998 09:57:47 -0700 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us) Subject: ET: SAM IS BAAA-AAACK!!!!!!!!! Hey Angulz, Yahooooo tis me that ? angel and I'm back to bug you all - and I have no idea what the hell you all are talking about - !!! (Shhh shuttup with the groans okay?) Back from a weekend of hell! A weekend of fun and umm I'm sure I could find some other stuff in there. But as it is I'll give you a brief little idea of what I did. (For those of you who don't KNOW already, I was at a conference.) Friday my fam and I got up at 6 am and drove 8 longass hours in the car to the capitol city (yah yah yah).... We weren't standing at the hotel's registration desk 5 minutes before my ex's best friend comes up with a nice hello and informs me that he (the ex, we will call him Jay) is here too. (Damn, not even an hour without him.) So we found our room and who is in the same row as me but Jay? Wonderful. Anyway that night was a party, uhh a very weird party, lots and lots of people ages 12-21; the goth girl (later found out to be sweet) screamed for attention the whole time...you get the point. Jay asked me if I was mad at him, I lied and said no, so then he walked off with this girl Krissy. So that night we hung out till the hotel guy (who had nothing to do) kicked us out and we just moved to hang out at the balcony that overlooked the lake. I migrated from clique to clique (these cliques bug the hell out of me) - I'd first been sitting with my friends Liz and Chris, but after awhile I couldn't handle it because Jay and his new-found "friend" (Krissy, who is Liz's sister) were standing right in front of me deep in conversation (or else gazing nice and close out over the lake). So off I went talking to other people....After awhile we all noticed a girl named Maressa and That Guy making out without changing positions for over 25 minutes, it was hilarious. I was absolutely freezing cuz, well, it was night and I was wearing a tank top and a thin skirt. It got pretty depressing, actually, cause after awhile a lot of people went off in couples. My best friend and her new boyfriend off holding hands, Jay and Krissy sitting by the lake, Maressa and That Guy, Katie and Paul, and Ferris trying to pick up on this wide-eyed girl. I was like, damn I feel left out. Talk about lonely. So that basically ended the night. Saturday.... Oh yeah, I didn't eat for over 14 hours. I didn't have dinner on Fri. and I couldn't eat breakfast on Sat. and I hardly had dinner that night either. Soooo. After getting 6 hours of sleep I met up with the cliques again and we basically hung out and wandered, after going to the welcome where we did all these weird games. I talked to Krissy and I said, "so you met Jay" and she's like "yeah I didn't know he was your ex, he said, 'well actually the last person I went out with was Sam' and I'm like oh it was you!" (Hmm.) I felt really bad actually cuz I only went to one workshop, a guitar workshop, but we had fun anyways--Chris singing 'I wanna be a supermodel' when D. strutted by; this little ditzy girl thinking he was into her; walking around the laaaake, you know, you get the drift. Liz was pissed at Krissy for being "all over Jay" and acting like a slut, and I was basically, y'know, thinking "this is so typical Jay". That night was a family party and a lot of us loosened up a bit and danced.... It was fun, actually. Saturday night was basically like Friday night, just hanging out with little incidents that are typical and of little importance. Oh there is one thing though. While my friend and I were sitting in the hotel lobby, Krissy walks up and says, "Okay, I'm going to spill my guts to you guys cause I'm never going to see you" (which we were thinking, that might not be such a good idea, but go ahead, so we acted all buddy-buddy). She's like, "well I like 3 guys...X, Z and Jay, and I wanna know which one to pick." (Gawd she really IS stupid.) She said "Jay is kind of boring, I've loved X ever since we met" so I said "then go for X" to which she replied "oh, but I've already gone too FAR with Jay." Then some people walked up and it got loud so she didn't hear me screaming at her "well I PERSONALLY wouldn't go out with my friend's EX." Off she walks, and my friend who'd been listening said, "this girl is a pain. I'm sitting here thinking, 'heh heh, you're funny.'" (Okay so you'd have to be there but she said it in a really laughable way.) Sunday, after 5 beautiful hours of sleep, walked around, put my bag in my friend's car, ate my first real meal of the weekend (a sandwich) for lunch, my parents left, we all stood around watching these balloon guys who made pwetty flowers and cartoon characters....Went to a memetics workshop and part of a "get into college" workshop (that was really boring), and finally to the closing activities, where we all made collages, wrote our names and addy's on the back, and this guy cut them up, we passed them around, everyone signed them--they were postcards--and supposedly we'll get ours in the mail, all signed. Then everyone was leaving, which was really truly sad, and since I was with someone else's family now (my fam had left) I had to hang with them, they didn't want to go to the party afterward (most of the still-sane people were going), but we were however going to spend the night 3 hrs away at the house of these guys. So I was depressed that it was ending, we drove off but after awhile I was happier and very amused by my friends flirting with these guys I was just getting to know. We got to their house and stayed up till 2 am, and got 6 hrs (maybe) of sleep....Left the next day and drove home. I'd forgotten to call my mom the night before so as a result she was kind of upset...oops. I got 17 hrs total of sleep over 3 days, more than a lot of people actually.... Okay are you totally bored? Sorry, I'm still tired. :P Sam the ? angel moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #151 **********************************