From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #101 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Sunday, August 2 1998 Volume 01 : Number 101 Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: silent companion [kara garbe ] ET: hiding [Jan Winters ] ET: BYE BYE! ["Dr. RomeAntic" ] ET: EDA-Thoughts-digest subscribers please read [Mike Connell Subject: ET: silent companion 7.30.98 My silent companion watches as i fight through a torrent of conflicting emotions listens as i cry about the unexplainable turmoil wracking my soul without ever raising an eyebrow to judge lifting a finger to punish raising a voice in anger against what i myself know not how to fight. He quietly allows me to purge myself and comforts me with the only song he knows how to sing -- one of joy, peace, and love. He accepts me without the need even to forgive and silently shows me the way to forgive myself. *~*~*~* That was for you Ben! I was really bored and wrote that today at work. I call it, "Ode to my musical papa smurf". Did I illustrate my example? Looking forward to more of our conversation! :) Kara _____________________________________________________ "I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man." --Thomas Jefferson ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1998 01:05:57 -0700 From: Jan Winters Subject: ET: hiding 2:05 am i thought i ran away from this from this constant self inflicted pain from the back of my mind screaming that i'm not worth it, i'm not worth love but it came back the skeltons in my closet decided to come out and play at 2:05 am on a wednesday i thought i told them to leave i thought i made it clear that i want to be alone now without them being anywhere near my head still racing with old thoughts i thought i forgot about my childhood i thought i let the past to rest i thought i managed to close those chapters but late at night i realized under the dim light that everything i have ignored is still alive inside of me at 3am i will put everything to a rest and shut my eyes for now i will skip that horrible time in bed where all you can do is count sheep and think i wont ponder on the political scandals or contimplate on the enviroment i will just fall asleep without my past and pretend i'm somewhere else again "hiding" i stop by my old neighborhood about 3 hrs from this new one there isnt a pub in there that i can just walk in and there isn't a cafe that i go to everyday after school. it's been so long, so long since i've walked back "home" the streets are still so clean with horiztonal grass and basketball hoops the children ride their bikes everywhere i'm not used to this anymore the polo club is across the street from my old house which is now painted cream and has an american flag in the yard the people in the shops don't recognize me god the years have done me well outside my glasses are thrown off and my hair is short, to my ears the braces have been gone for yrs now but i haven't grown an inch and inside i'm colder then ever before i remember when i lived here they would say my smile could kill hearts a few have broken my heart but i have never hurt anyone elses they say welcome back once i tell them my name i just feel a need to go back on those dirty streets and go back inside the pub where everyone knows who i am today ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1998 12:51:07 +0200 From: "Dr. RomeAntic" Subject: ET: BYE BYE! Uh, well I shall depart... well for 3 weeks only... silly people!!! I'm a gonna go check out the sea temperature for ya and it's a job worth doing well, so I'll take some extra time... so I guess I'll see ya all somewhere by the end of August! I'm way too busy to write (uhmmm maybe to Jill but that's it... we'll see)... so The Third Applauding session (digests 86-100) is unlikely to be posted before I go... so that too will have to wait... so I'll say goodbye ... keep your talented minds working... I wanna see lots of new stuff when I come back! And I'll leave ya with my latest brainstorming... one of ya is already familiar with it... the rest shall see now! BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I'll so miss ya my angels!!! REALITY I wanna experience reality in the jaws of the predator that slaughters its feast with the teeth sharp and black I wanna kill reality on the burning wire with a rope around my neck and scream till the firemen come and knock me down with a flame-thrower I wanna taste reality on your burning lips of velvet and drink the sweat of the passionate desire in your skin I wanna rip reality right out of the frame of this oversized fantasy, this spoofed world that embraces everything thrown in I wanna kill reality in my drowning mind poisoned and suffocated in everything I ever loved too much to have and savor I wanna cleanse reality of all the vomit and dull blades so I can walk naked in this thing called living and destroy my armor I wanna drown reality in so much hatred rain of cold water drops for every next sun-ray to sparkle on the beads of moist in the air I wanna disguise reality into something sweet, happy, nice as opposed to horrors of sharp mist where evil eyes disturb their prey I wanna fill reality with god that is not taken for granted and is seen in our eyes as a fragile beauty that will take revenge when marred I wanna see reality in people who want to live and not pay for it with their lives as though being owned by the unholy stronger one I wanna grab reality by it's ankles and shake it so the bones chime and empty it's pockets to see what I've been deprived of I wanna melt reality into the mirror of my self-improvement and make it alive inside me so I could see what I presented you I wanna bleed reality through my open wounds on my wrists that your anger left when you were unable to live up to your expectation I wanna engrave reality into my heart to burn my tears in pain and let my smiles remain to be discovered by some soul - so yes, Yes I wanna own reality so I can live the dream CAW!!! - -- Have fun and stay beautiful Dr. RomeAntic, an angel with the worst stroke of luck "I could be your see of sand, I could be your warmth of desire I could be your prayer of hope, I could be your gift of every day I could be your tide oh heaven, I could be a hint of what's to come I could be your ordinary, I could be the one I could be your blue eyed angel, I could be the storm before the calm I could be your secret plesure, I could be your well-wishing well I could be your breath of life, I could be your European dream I could be your ordinary, I could be the one" Donna Lewis / I Could Be The One / Blue Angel Catch Dr. RomeAntic's cyber image @ http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Metro/2009 ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 01 Aug 1998 23:06:41 -0400 From: Mike Connell Subject: ET: EDA-Thoughts-digest subscribers please read Hi folks, I have just been informed by the owner of smoe.org that due to an error he made last night, all posts sent to any smoe.org list from about 9:30pm EST Friday until about 10:30pm EST tonight (Saturday) were not archived nor placed into any digest. Thus, digest subscribers will not see any of the posts sent to this list from between those times, and since they were not archived, they are not recoverable. Nothing of major importance was posted in that time frame, so I wouldn't fret about it :-) Mike - list owner  : \    / :                    -- o -- :                      /    \ :                             .---.           .---. :                           /      \  @    /      \ :                         / / /     \(   ) /    \ \  \ :                       //////  /    '     `       --\\\\ :                     / /   /  / :         :   --\  \  \ \ :                    //  / /   /   /`     \     --\\ \   \\ :                  / /   /  /  / /  . .  . \ \  \    \   \ \                     We are everyday angels. :) ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #101 **********************************