From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #82 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Thursday, July 16 1998 Volume 01 : Number 082 Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #75 [Angeljlb96@aol.com] ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #81 [Angeljlb96@aol.com] ET: Dr. ROmantic [Angeljlb96@aol.com] ET: a poem...first one in a long time *laffs* ["Kerry *jo*" > Yea....a few...mostly people on the regular ole Jewel list. I wrote one or two...not directly for Jon...but indirectly for Mr. Hamilton...I was thinking of him...and he inspired me...if that counts. The others really don't matter. Jamie ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 15 Jul 1998 00:49:30 EDT From: Angeljlb96@aol.com Subject: ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #81 In a message dated 98-07-15 00:03:57 EDT, you write: << what should i do? what *can* i do? >> Kara, sweetie...I am so there with you. My advice is the same I'm giving myself...go for it. You're right...this is your life...do what you want to do. I loved your letter...even forwarded it to someone...take care. Love, Jamie ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 15 Jul 1998 00:57:19 EDT From: Angeljlb96@aol.com Subject: ET: Dr. ROmantic Hey sweetie...I just wanted to tell you that I LOVED your Call me Winter poem. It was beautiful. SOrry for posting again guys... Love, Jamie ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 14 Jul 1998 22:54:22 PDT From: "Kerry *jo*" Subject: ET: a poem...first one in a long time *laffs* WELL!!! I started writing again...I put all my frustrations down about the male species and other such things. They are very insignifigant compared to all of yours, but, I will post them =0) ThanX for ThE spAce =0) (: Kerry*jo* :) *the intrepid soccer playing angel* Kerry*jo* *To you* What am I to you? a sweet face someone to turn to when you feel like shit a mindless chatterbox with no feelings It hurts me, to feel pain, to know Im hated, to loose what I hold precious It hurts me, to know, that in your mind, Im nothing. Im meaningless a dumb girl, someone to kiss when you feel lonely I HURT I CRY I FEEL you hate me, break me, and leave me stranded. Kerry*jo* - -------------------------- My Broken Way Of LIfe My broken world Filled with frustrations and hurt words Lost people trying to find a way to somehow escape all the pain red eyes with no tears left to cry when YET another thing goes wrong a knife, stabbing at my skin trying to bleed the last bit of my life away from meaningless words and a broken heart tears in my eyes and a knife in my back my broken way of life is breaking up myself Kerry*jo* - --------------------------------- *~Remembering~* She sits alone on her old couch, the one with the tare in one of the cushions. She thinks back to when it happened. With a smile, she remembers the good times. She walks over to the records, chooses his favorite one, and puts it on, to play. She dances alone wishing he was there, dancing with her. She remembers his hands, they were so soft and he danced with her so gracefully. She loved him with all her heart and soul. She remembers, and a tear, roles down her cheek. THAS ALL FOR NOW...send me your critisism...I understand they arent good - ----------------------------------------------------------- "I believe in Angels, I believe that in my lonliest times I have not really been alone, That no one really is." ~Jewel **Visit my web site =0) http://www.angelfire.com/ut/intrepiddreamer ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 15 Jul 1998 10:46:44 -0500 From: ib-3@juno.com (names are superfluous and irrelevant) Subject: ET: good will hunting...please read this... Funny, I just got finished watching that movie last night. Ever feel like a movie is just some sort of message to you personally? Like the story of your life is being played out on the big screen? Like someone stole your story and sold it? hehehe I'm not going to tell everyone about the movie...b/c that'd ruin it. But Robin Williams did another excellent job playing a very influential, but not star, role. Look at Dead Poet's Society...and the role he played "O captain, my captain!" hehehe...sorry, eighth grade memory. The best way I can sum up the way I feel about the movie is this: going for a walk that turned into a hike that ended with me running and screaming down the streets of you through a down pour part of me wants to succeed some of me wants to be free most of me just wants to love. It's a start, anyway. I would like to take this moment to recommend the movie. You people...well, you have to deal with knowing me...because most people don't ever see the side of me that's free, unrestrained, 100% me. I thank you for that. Someday though, I'm going to make my dramatic departure...and I guess this is a warning, but you'll get no warning. >I'm going to try to keep this short and to the point. Like many of >you guys, I'm empty, lost, and just generally depressed, seeking >escape and all too often having to remind myself that there's a >reason to live. I think that what makes life worth living is what >you value more than your own life; the only thing worth living for >is that for which you would die. I've found that: love. I've found >someone who takes away the emptiness, someone who I want to live >for. Someone who I want to live with. But he lives on the other >side of the country. I can't handle one week visits separated by >three months of loneliness. I'm trapped here on the east coast >going to college. This is what I'm supposed to be doing, right, >being the good girl getting a valuable education? Having the time Or wasting 250, 000 dollars on a worthless education that you could've gotten for 1.50 in overdue library fines. :) >of my life living it up in that precious time when I'm young, on my >own, but not under the pressure of having to support myself. I'm >supposed to be happy, right? Having fun and getting the education >which is going to get me the nice job and the nice house and the >nice family and the nice happy perfect wonderful life? Well at this >moment, I think that I'd be happy without the college degree, >living in a one room shack and working at McDonalds for the rest of >my life if it meant that I could leave work every day and come home >to him. But I've been raised to be the good girl, to make my then fucking do it. I don't give a damn about what anyone else thinks or says or does anymore. If you left, do you ever wander if you'd miss a godamn thing? Do you wander what it'd be like just to up and leave everything and everyone and tell them someday when you bump into them on the streets that you fell in love? And that you gave up everything for the chance to love and be loved? they'll envy you. I don't want to say goodbye to all my friends and everyone i know, I want to just leave and tell the world that i lived the dream that they all work so hard for, but never have the sack to take. You know, all of the roles that Williams plays in...the serious roles, are always about living out your dreams. Argueably, he's the most essential character...b/c he's always the one that we truly want to be...we want to be happy, and we want to live our lives in our own fashion. I'm sorry that I don't have the time to tell you everything that you need to hear right now, but I've gotta go see about a girl. >parents happy. I feel responsible for their happiness. But we >aren't close at all, they barely know about him and they wouldn't >understand the way I feel. I can't abandon my life here because I >feel like I can't abandon them, and I can't take what I know their >reaction would be if I did give up everything for him -- they'd >mock me behind my back, mock my feelings. I can't handle that >rejection from them. I guess it's like I'd rather pretend that >everything is okay by keeping the illusion going in their eyes that >I'm happy and doing fine, the good child they can be proud of. but >i've spent my whole life trying to be good for them, and now that i >know exactly where i want to be, selfishness is creeping in. this is >my life isn't it? it's killing me and him to be apart. i think that >he is my future... i am actually happy, truly happy, when i'm with >him. that's such a far cry from where i am right now. is there any >reason for me not to be with him? i don't know what answer i am >looking for... i don't know how strong of a person i am, i don't >know if i should follow my own heart right now, or if i should wait >two years... i just feel like, god, i don't want to miss out on a >second of his life, a second of our life together, a second that i >could be so happy and complete... but i'm sitting here in silence >doing exactly that, as the clock ticks and we both go through the >agony of isolation.... what should i do? what *can* i do? > >sorry i didn't live up to my attempt to keep it short. thanks for >listening and if you have anything that you think might help me >out, please write... > >peace and love, >kara _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. 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