From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #77 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Saturday, July 11 1998 Volume 01 : Number 077 Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: first post of the day ["Naomi Vaughn" ] ET: hi [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us)] ET: life is so very hard [Karen Miller ] ET: inspiring people [Cloud9219@aol.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Fri, 10 Jul 1998 08:35:06 -0700 From: "Naomi Vaughn" Subject: ET: first post of the day Hey Angels~ I just wrote these, i'm typing this out now, so I can send it in the morning(don't have a modem on my puter..), it's about 2am now(uh oh..breaking my own rules.. ;) anyhow, it's painfully(heh)...well it's just obvious as to what they're about so...comments are great. merci... forever me, Naomi the unknown angel denial i've grown to fear the silence my thoughts much too loud I now find myself drawing away from my words fearing my thoughts themselves I blare music talk, unending anything, to escape the shocking reality of what I don't know if I don't face it what's to say it exsists? d e n i a l it's a new way of life 7.10.98 12:37a.m. - ---- ..I don't know.. I can see you trying to crack my surface you're trying so hard, to show you care? I never let your words in simply shruging them off you're slowing backing away from me I don't want to pull you back or even show i've noticed your fading I don't want to feel ANY emotion towards you and no one blames me we became an "us" me, all vulnurable and, you showed me "love" then so harshly ripped me apart. I cared for you, more than i'll ever admit even to myself and when you left...you killed my love no one trys to change me they all say you're a jerk undeserving, of me I don't really agree I just, can't give myself to you i'd like to but i'm incapable I involuntarily turn away when you go to kiss me and simply smile and nod when you call me love I can't let myself be happy, when it comes to you just, tollerant I know this hurts you I can see it. but I don't know what i'm supposed to do 7.10.98 12:50a.m. - --- "How many corners do I have to turn? How many times do I have to learn, All the love I have is in my mind?" ~Verve Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 10 Jul 1998 11:29:41 -0700 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us) Subject: ET: hi Part One: The Happy Letter Angulz! Gawd you guys depress me. Wait why did I just say that? AHHHHH ERASE THAT! Okay okay.... *Sam hits the delete button* Cuz yer poems lately are, like, so full of hope. Some of them anyway. I just wanted to say, we're all on this great writing spree and don't stop! Everyone, write! Write! Write! Even if it's crap! It's good practice! Naomi, good as usual.... Ditto for James.... Heya Bea.... Big "high five" for Jill.... Hi hi hi and g'byee. But first, on a more depressing note.... Part Two: The Reality Letter Well, before you read these poems, let down your shades, light a candle, burn some incense, make yourself a garland from spring flowers, and imagine you cannot control your future and can do nothing but accept.... You have been so brainwashed and prodded and have tricked yourself into believing so much that you really aren't anymore, all you can do is surrender.... Sam the ? angel the lady of shalott still continues sm july 10 1998 drifting on a silent boat down a river of darkness the swift water's current pulling her so luringly she goes not toward light but calmly toward her doom under a canopy of willow trees that shade the twisting canal droplets of lilies shadowed by woven leaves drift in a deep shade as petals fall from nowhere she is floating without calling wihout stirring, without protest traveling to a fate long decided as the banks become clouded and roots gnarled thickly disappear from view a frightening serenity settles on her like the trees overhead and the river swiftly moving the darkness awaiting for her arrival ~~--~~ the world can do nothing for it has created this terror like a burning fire jumping and licking the air with orange flames kindled by broken branches of hope so deeply rooted in history more deafening than a massive blue lake stilled by an underwater world that exists no more the world does not want to do anything they pleaded for this horror and they protest the results of their wish we created the monster that rages calmly standing straight and silent determined without a will skeletons walk and breathe but hardly live no need for starving countries we have saplings that volunteer as they cry in undecided protest 'look, we are beautiful you smile when we approach but do not know that we die. you tell us we are perfect but we are not. all we can think of is the meals we do not eat. all we can control is the fate of our lives.' but they can control nothing their lives are an ocean in turmoil and their ship is not guided by sanity the world has grown so sick as not to notice the deadness of those they praise and the world hardly blinks before moving on when the faded vanish they protest without calling they dicipline beyond the realm of living. they strive in a rigid perfect pattern and soon, they are taken over. left mute, accepting hollowed and shaped all their lives for their fate. and they cry. 'our bellies, never full will feel the wrath. and when we are gone, withered like flowers in a pounding season, the world will remember that we were here. our absence will be noticed though even now we fade in the shadows.' Title: "the anorexics" By: sm July 10 1998 Macintosh is a user friendly computer! moonsong@ix.netcom.com "And never was there a tale of more woe than of Juliet and her Romeo" - -Romeo+Juliet "You know what the difference if between you and me?, I make this look good" -MIB "So get outta your busted-ass vehicle, and put your hands, on your head" -MIB "Andalite Scum!" -Animorphs Macintosh is a user friendly computer! ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 10 Jul 1998 16:11:55 -0700 From: Karen Miller Subject: ET: life is so very hard Well once again I will post of something sad tear jerking yet so very true. The Concert I was first there just standing there hoping to just get a glimpse of him just one or maybe two so I could see his baby blue eyes well I saw him but I wish I hadn't he was kissing a girl a tall skinny basically a Kate Moss but younger. I felt my heart sink to my feet. So I just walked up and asked for his autograph he gave it to me then I walked off holding back my tears until he wouldn't be able to hear me. That day was the day I died the day the one I felt I was for was kissing another.... Body I I have blond hair but it is burgundy today I have a long waste I have never felt love I am obsessed with a stranger I have a body that I hate I have fat legs and a skinny mind I have written over 200 poems I just want to be loved I hope that maybe someday he will see the light and love me too holly The ANgel in Distice ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 10 Jul 1998 20:07:40 EDT From: Cloud9219@aol.com Subject: ET: inspiring people hey guys, i just wanted so say that the poetry i have been reading lately is absolutly wonderful and i truly enjoy reading it. all of you are such an inspiration to me, because your work is so meaningful and well done. i love the way that everyone encourages everyone and i really appreciate all of the "high fives"----> :oD from certain people. i am happy to be part of this incredible world of nice people with a true gift of poetry. - -Jill a swing dancin angel a couple more poems because i've been in the mood lately (but im kinda happy so they may come out weird) its ironic how some of us write our best stuff when our hearts are torn............. "rain" it is dark as the cloud wrings itself it crumbles down rattling my shelf i look all around as it beats down it makes such riot yet its so quiet so comforting a sound and to bed i am bound it takes sadness and pain to become one with the rain so as i listen i feel my tears glisten i think of my love as it pounds up above i feel my heart skip as it goes drip, drip, drip its so horrible a feel for your heart to congeal invisible straps on my legs and arms as i think of that smile, those beautiful charms im falling uncontiously into sleep and thinking of the memories i'll always keep and as i lay here and cry i am one with the rain, i liquify (its kinda queer but most rhyming poems of mine are) "a pub" this crowded place smells of beer its stifling with all the people here the deafening noise, screams, and shouts people pushing in and out the taste of whiskey on my lip i reach to take another sip sitting on the unsturdy stool the boys over there playing pool the music blaring all around lots of young couples getting down making out on the stairs occupying all the chairs smoke from cigarettes rising up bartenders filling cup after cup pathetic pick-up lines at the bar strangers going to their cars i walked of that pub to my tiny Ford on the curb drove a little, enjoyed the ride till i was pulled over to the side and thoguh protesting i was fine i couldn't walk that damn white line "a landscape in my mind" somewhere in my imagination is a world full of creation flying colors, dark and light all hues according to our sight ideas and dreams and empty space a full country feeling in this place love, peace, tranquility, and om a lovely sight, beautiful and calm somewhere in my imagination dreams of what i someday hope to be an ocean of love, waves crashing softly golden sun and serene moon mysteries and secrets in the darkness they loom giant mountains of worry and woe rivers of happiness forever flow clouds of wonder gliding in the air a beautiful sight, so lovely and fair cautious flowers growing timid impulsive breezes, outwardly amid strange colored lights, brightening the sky creatures in my imagination they lie thats it! - -jill ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #77 *********************************