From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #73 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Tuesday, July 7 1998 Volume 01 : Number 073 Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: A Hello and Etc. [L a r a ] ET: hello all you beautiful angels :) [Edangel@aol.com] Re: ET: advice 4 sam and a poem [Bebe838@aol.com] ET: so full of energy [ib-3@juno.com (names are superfluous and irrelevan] ET: time to explain.... [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us)] ET: people's poems [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us)] ET: the one you were waiting for [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us)] ET: whooo hooo,.. i'm on roll! [Bebe838@aol.com] ET: hey angels! ["Naomi Vaughn" ] ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #72 [ib-3@juno.com (names are superfluous ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 06 Jul 1998 23:37:05 -0500 From: L a r a Subject: ET: A Hello and Etc. Hey guys! It has been forever since I have written you so i thought I would say hello! Sam, I really liked your poem Yellow Petals Fall. And about your "situation", I had a really similar thing happen with one of my friends. It really upset me. Our friendship had begun to be strained anyhow and that was the breaking point. After that she has never changed and has continued to be the one who goes after all her friend's boyfriends. I knew then that I did not want her to be my friend and we have never really talked since. I am not sure how things will work out for you but I wish you the best. Don't feel badly about how it makes you look. I felt that way too and I learned that people are not blind around you and they will see the truth in the situation. Remember you have done nothing. *Hugs* Naomi, I really liked your poem "someone" -- it had some good points. I wish I could be more like that myself... And I would like to publicly thank Jamie for listening to my rambles when I am upset. Things are better here and lesson for the last week is worrying is not only unhealthy but usually unneccessary! Things are going well for me now. Thanks so much for listening! And now I must get some sleep ... the computer screen is looking so so weird! Talk to you guys later :-) Lara ====================================      L a r a    larajean@gmx.de, daisypetals@usa.net          http://members.tripod.com/~laruth "good times... noodle salad" - As Good As It Gets ==================================== ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 7 Jul 1998 00:46:35 EDT From: Edangel@aol.com Subject: ET: hello all you beautiful angels :) I hope everyone is having a wonderful evening..or day...depending on the time :) I havent posted to the eda-thoughts yet..so here I am I'm Kristina..if you dont know me already...the ~angel dancing with the stars~ :) I was sick this weekend :( and finally got the chance to do a couple of things to my web page...(just a couple) http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Metro/8491 please if you are bored...or just cause I would be such a happy angel...if you would take a look at my sight...I just started a dream page...so...If any of you have any unusual dream....take a look...add something :) I also have a very special page...its called "wishing tree" because its a place where you can send me your wishes..and I will hang them up on the tree :) well...thats all for now :) thanks for listening to me :) ~hugs~ to everyone Kristina ~angel dancing with the stars~ ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 7 Jul 1998 03:03:19 EDT From: Bebe838@aol.com Subject: Re: ET: advice 4 sam and a poem hi you guys,... a point was brought up to me earlier and i just wanted to apologize to all the guys about the comment i made in my last post about guys being lowlifes and stuff. I really did not mean to offend anyone in any way and i know there alot of good guys out there. i'm sorry again,... my deepest apologies for the guys,... only me,.. bea ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 7 Jul 1998 10:23:52 -0500 From: ib-3@juno.com (names are superfluous and irrelevant) Subject: ET: so full of energy Hello my artificial family~ You know, recently the digests on this list have been thin...until the last one... And my life has been pretty much the same ol' routine...until just now. Despite my ennui, I thought that I'd like to say that I'm thoroughly happy and enjoying life. I watched t.v. last night...and it was entertaining. I got up early this morning...and liked it. It rained. I went outside and ran down the street and ran around my yard and played basketball...barefoot, in only my boxers. And I've found the answers to most of my problems...and figured out a lot of what my purpose in life is... don't you wish we all had it this way? hehehe I thought that I would write and remind you all that it does get better and life is still good and true through it all. And I would like to recommend that you take this invitation and meet me in my dreams...I'll be running through an open field, naked, in the rain. ((and a few poems, too)) Leaving my Legacy I have not lived long enough to grasp immortality and live forever I am already dying I might as well be dead My memory will not be cherished, my face will be forgotten but i wish to live on in the minds of those who didn't know me in the first place i want to change the lives of unborn children and the _memories_ of their forgotten father Thus I write to leave a legacy 3July1998 _____ The speed boats that pass by leave more than minor ripples in the water they disturb the bank fishermne and the children walking their dogs And i sitting on the banks of a river next to a stone stair case forgotten many generations ago, but still lives on in a few would be romantics l u s t i n g for life cherishing memories that are not theirs they say " I want to know what they have taught me i want to remember what they have shown me i wish to forget what they have done to me denied a boy his freedom to explore denied a man his freedom to love denied me my right to live" ***** If at first you don't succeed - --try again - --try and try again - --you didn't care that much anyway - --quit. no use being a damn fool about it. ***** James _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 7 Jul 1998 09:38:50 -0700 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us) Subject: ET: time to explain.... Heya, Thanks bea, Lara and Naomi, yer great friends....Let me first just say that bea, you are so right.... I'm just full of it, I like need something else to obsess over. But before I saw yer email and saw Z light, :) I'd called my ex and flat out asked what happened. Turns out his MOTHER had wanted some info on this event and my socalled friend had called to give it to him and invite him to it. So I don't know if she's after him or what, but I just asked him about it and he didn't seem to care about her at all or ever... except as vague friends.... So there's that.... But yer right. I gotta stop stressing it. I'm really sorry though cause I feel awful, I must sound horrible and this is the worst, making myself sound like a total jackass in front of 80 or so people.... I was just really upset, so, forgive? I mean that WOULD be really low of my friends to do now wouldn't it so it wasn't totally outrageous, what I was thinking. I guess I should just believe the truth and stop freaking out; and also I gotta realize that I have to let go of him. You know I've been so afraid that if I let him go, he'd fade away from me.... Maybe that needs to happen, maybe it doesn't. Maybe things can just settle into this caring friendship instead of, well, y'know. Cause he really seems to *care* a lot, just not anything else. I have to let him go though, for my own sake, because this isn't at all good for me and I can't spend my life being uptight. See you later in poems, yer jumbled angel, Sam the ? angel moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 7 Jul 1998 09:38:54 -0700 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us) Subject: ET: people's poems Heyheyhey, Okay! Sam The Critic is in! Ahhh.......I gotta say, that EDA Thoughts digest was so satisfying. Finally people started WRITING! Even if it was mostly Naomi and bea! :) Bea, your poem that begins "at night/in my dreams" is really good. I mean I really like it. It also kind of reminds me of that Sarah McLachlan song that goes, "so close I could feel your breath. When all we wanted was the dream, to have and to hold that precious little thing...." Oh yeah, and the one that starts "so I check again/and he says" is great. It's really clear and this rush of plain....Like an outrage with emotions stacked up right behind it. I like it yah yah yah! Naomi, I really really love #14 and #17, it's this kind of vibrant clashing startling frankness. I like Imagine and Her cause they are so descriptive and Imagine is such a dream that you're like holding tightly on to afraid it will vanish, and Her is so well written. NiKoS12@aol.com (sorry I don't know your name), that was a good Jewel-like poem (the summer retreat one) and I sure can identify with it. . . . Okay dokay, you'll probably hear from me yet again! Later angelic poets, Sam the ? angel moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 7 Jul 1998 10:04:48 -0700 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us) Subject: ET: the one you were waiting for Well what can I say, you all knew it was coming.... Sam the ? angel SM July 7 98 I have to let you free but I'm so afraid if I do, I will lose you That if I slowly relax my fingers and ease off on my grip you will quickly fall away tumbling down the drain far off into darkness until I cannot year you Peering over the sink gazing down with fingers still in shock, I cannot see you anymore and then I will feel hollow A dark empty lonliness will consume some inner part of me Because, I let you go but I did not make you release your hold Because, I took my hands off but with you, you took me if I let you go, will you drift away slowly on lapping waters toward a reaching horizon and finally, dip down your sail and disappear from sight will you float away on the feathers of the wind and swirl up & up & be gone I have to let you go so I can be free You will not vanish, only remain if you will it But still, I have this fear I am so afraid - -------~~------- ahh and a bonus one! you think sm july 7 98 you think that if she wears short shirts she wears it for you so you can gape and smile and whistle out of your blue ford truck you think if she is smiling as she walks through the crowd it's because she sees you ahead of her and she sways her certain way just so that you will look you dream of only lies your eyes focus off of her face you think that if she's showing it must mean that she's yours your feet travel the twisted paths that wind around your mind you think because she's this certain way she wants your hands on hers you think if she has lips they can only mean one thing that she talks to her girl friends and lays them on you in sun and rain and when you see her walk on the side of the road and you stop and stare at her if she glances at you it is because you are rude she's not walking along just for you moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 7 Jul 1998 13:38:39 EDT From: Bebe838@aol.com Subject: ET: whooo hooo,.. i'm on roll! hey angels,.. me again! naomi? don't slow down! i'm luvin it,... keep postin,.. you're hot! sam,... glad you're seein the light =). a big pat on the back for the poem you just wrote. let it all go sweetie! we angels just need to watch over each other like that. anytime girl,.. you know i'm here,... ; ) and krisitina,.. hope you end up postin more often. as soon as i finish this post,.. i'll visit your page. it sounds very interesting,.. =) okay,.. i don't know what's up with me and these poems. i don't normally write so much. But i guess practice is the only way i'll get better. so here's a poem: >>>>>>>> this necklace is worthless i'll crush it into a million pieces i'll break it like you broke my heart ruin it like our non existent love no i can't do that it cost too much i'll regret it later i will i just know it cuz i'll realize it used to be so beautiful and flawless well then i'll just throw it away yes that's it that's what i'll do this necklace means nothing absolutely nothing to me anyway i'll trash it and maybe someone else will find it ya and be lucky with it great i'll throw it away along with all our memories i can do it yes i can okay here i go nope i can't i shouldn't no that's stupid i shouldn't do that cuz someone else will end up wearin it i don't want that well in that case i'll just have to keep it not that i really want to or anything but i'll just put it here here in this box and put this box down here in the bottom of my closet ya but i don't care really i don't need it cuz, ya it means nothing absolutely nothing to me nothing. that's all for now,... CAW,... only me,.. bea ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 07 Jul 1998 10:52:01 -0700 From: "Naomi Vaughn" Subject: ET: hey angels! hey wonderful angels~ my first post of the day, will there be more...we'll see.. ;) I wrote these lastnight/this morning. sorry about the language in the first...I was really ticked at what jerks guys can be sometimes... ;) comments are great.. later angels!! oh, and guess what, I wrote 17 poems yesterday..! that has got to be a new record for me...it feels great tho...later! Naomi the unknown angel - ---- #21 the days are getting longer the wounds are digging deeper with every guy that comes my way before I was, in a bubble of sorts I had seen my share of jerks and "over eager" teens.. but never to an extreme now suddenly i'm drowning in them. they make me feel cheap with a simple hello and god, they never give up and once I get one off me the next shows up to pick up where the last left off they manage to make me feel so worthless with there meaningless shit calling me a bitch, cause I refuse to fuck them calling me an asshole when I don't paint them my picture seems like I woke up so many weeks ago to a different world it's discouraging I must admit it's frightening I have to say It scares me, how close they are. 7.6.98 - ---- #22 if I closed my eyes now and seeped into an eternal rest could I live forever off these dreams? the last real thought in my mind being that of you and me in love 7.7.98 - ---- if if I cling with weak fingers to these things I knew so well am I dillusional? if I cry silent tears for the days and nights spent wondering if you'd be there come morning am I a victim of some tragic sin? if I ask of you some assurance that you will be here and you give it to me and I find no comfort in it what can I do? everytime, your eyes meet mine all I see, is you walking away and everytime, you promise never to go I see this emptiness behind your words that steals from me comfort, and refuses to let me believe you'd ever want to stay here with me 7.7.98 - --- "How many corners do I have to turn? How many times do I have to learn, All the love I have is in my mind?" ~Verve Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 7 Jul 1998 14:49:43 -0500 From: ib-3@juno.com (names are superfluous and irrelevant) Subject: ET: Re: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #72 Salut tout le monde! I wrote some more...and I'm planning on a series that's devoted to all of you wonderful people...and I'll be sure to post it sometime. Meanwhile, I thought that I'd bring up an interesting point from another poetry list...copyrighting. For information on copyrighting procedures, check out http://www.loc.gov/copyright I just thought that anyone who was interested would find this information usefull. On a much lighter and less impersonal note, Hi to Naomi...I'm listening and talking... and Hi to Sam...and for the sake of my hide, I'll keep it at "hi" for now...if that's ok! ()()()()() Now, poems... 'Young Ones' Aren't we a little young for this? to be so concerned with what we end up as or who we end up with? what happened to little boys and girls playing in sandboxes and kiddie pools? and where'd all of the old folks from church go? somewhere, they disappeared into autumn leaf piles and winter snow drifts and spring downpours were they baked into the streets under an urban summer sun? Or, tell me, did they just stop caring? what's going on? I'm saying "hey! what's going on?" why do dogs bark at people and chase after cats? and why do little girls ask little boys questions that they wander about, too just as much but know just as little about? tell me. 7July1998 'Strange how it is' the way we fight about never fighting and cry about having nothing to cry over... the way we can find a million ways to say i love you all over again but never tell each other out of fear that they other might say it back just for the record though, i'd give it all for you to you because i loveyou and want to hear it said back 7July1998 MEIJER. 1 A.M. DARK AT NIGHT. WALKING DOWN THE AISLES OF A STORE THAT NEVER ENDS looking FOR YOUR DEPARTMENT looking FOR THE LANE OF USELESS PRODUCTS where i will find you STOCKING THE SHELVES AND SAYTHAT I KNEW YOU WEREN'T THERE, I'D BE DRIVING AROUND THIS HAPLESS hopeless TOWN looking FOR YOUR DOORSTEP TO STICK MY FOOT IN; looking for a window TO PEEP THROUGH HOPING YOU'LL LOVE ME FOR MY DEVOTION 7July1998 Hallucination and fantasies in the rocks of non-assertive lives of living legends who gained recognition not fame succeeded in life not society didn't change any lives, or alter their present, let alone my future (It was) the greatest gift they could've given me they left me alone to decide for myself. 7July1998 Is there anything else for giggling school girls giggling at giddy little school boys is there anything beyond the mountain that no one has ever climbed or territory that no one has ever explored? will there be anything left for you after the carnivores are done tearing at my heart and occupying my mind? i wander will they ever leave? 7July1998 Good for me is you and her and them Good for me are the jobs that pay a few bills and the songs that heal a few wounds Good for me was the dancing and the drinking that made me forget the world's problems for a few hours. Bad for me is my teenage biological clock ticking to fast and so unevenly that i'm spinning around in an ever-changing environment that harbors love and hate and the emotions that make the world go round Bad for me that love doesn't last long enough for one to ever love anyone in the first place the sun is fading into the moon i guess i'll be leaving soon i wanna say goodbye to you goodbye to all my friends goodbye to everyone i knew. 7July1998 ===== and as always, comments welcome. James ===== _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #73 *********************************