From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V1 #15 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Tuesday, May 5 1998 Volume 01 : Number 015 Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: depression & a touch of optimism [Kara Garbe ] ET: da poems [moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us)] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 4 May 1998 02:09:18 -0400 (Eastern Daylight Time) From: Kara Garbe Subject: ET: depression & a touch of optimism Hi everyone, I was writing an email to Naomi and reflecting on how so many of us on here write about being depressed, and I just wanted to share my thoughts with the rest of you. A lot of us seem to be pretty introspective. I think a lot of people just don't want to think about things, the way things really are, because it really is a scary thing. It's not a coincidence that so many of us "angels" are depressed. A lot of us are the introspective type who see a lot of the world for what it is, and that's enough of a reason to be depressed even without other personal problems. I'm striving to rise above that though, and regain the optimism and happiness that I once had, before my eyes were so open. Optimism is needed to change the world, but without open eyes all the optimism in the world won't do a thing. That's why I call myself "~ the aspiring angel ~" when I post in EDA. That's just a thought you may or may not agree with, and I'd love to hear other people's ideas on it. Also an interesting thread in here could be for us all to explain why we chose our little angel nicknames. Now for some personal stuff, so skip this if you're bored! Well last weekend was my 19th birthday (April 25-- i noticed someone else said it was their birthday too, so happy belated birthday to us!) and it was the worst birthday of my life. I was stressed out with work for the last days of class for the year, my parents came to see me and just upset me, and the guy I love is 2000 miles away. I was very depressed. **BUT** I have since come to great feelings and realizations which I am hoping will make me a more stable, peaceful, helpful person. So, with my new outlook, I'd like to share an optimistic poem/song that I wrote a few months ago before going out to visit my guy. (I wanted it to be a song but I couldn't write music for it; my friend wrote some music and I'm waiting to hear it, with a touch of nervousness!) I know I froze this time This agonizing struggle To wash out old memories A cleaning I can't achieve I want to stop trying Don't give up on me Even though I don't show it Please be there for me I know I don't have to ask But sometimes my heart runs so dry When I can't feel you at my side faded memories I rummage through I want to be your future Keep your hope in me And I won't let you down Let me come to you I know that we didn't say We'd be with each other again But I want to feel you at my side Fresh waking dreams I can't supress Please let me be your future and I won't give up on you Just help me hold on I will come to you I will come to you... ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 4 May 1998 15:27:27 -0700 From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Us) Subject: ET: da poems Hey, Hehe, sorry for the weird title, my dad had a professor who would say something like "da poem" in some strange way. Ahem. So anyway. Here are a couple of poems I just wrote, hope you all like them. Sam the ? angel with sunlight in her hair ~~**~~ The Foster sm May 2 98 One day old, the hour told And all alone The signs pointed down the hall An unlucky little thing Left before the day could break Light to her face And then taken from her room Filled with the silence of her doom Brought to a new life, Streaked in hope, a pre-planned stroke Of destiny The emptiness that once contained A fragile heart would not remain One day old, a glance so bold To gain a chance Brought into being, loved at last In caring arms she was cast And not alone that was written cause some people i know are fostering a baby, they got her when she was only a day old. i think it would be wonderful but so hard to do that; hard because you may have to let them go one day. ~~**~~ the night overcomes the day day merges into night and no one sees her take flight in the darkness of the moon in the pale progressing gloom the sky turned daylilies to orchids may 2 1998 ~~**~~ The Empty Chatters sm may 4 98 Part I Facing a screen, hearing voices But the air is silent Within the dimension before them roar hundreds of conversations Busy, but expressionless Named, and yet faceless Bold, daring, forward, more so than usual Everone equal in the list No early prejudices formed A chance to know personality without body Opportunities to put on a mask Expressing the otherwise hidden But becoming somewhat different Empty people, seeking out To fill up with something as empty Missing from their lives Hunting more, finding less They will not be fufilled Yet still they sit, hearing voices And the air is silent Part II The invisible others call But a distraction becons Suddenly a realization, life fills the air Empty onscreen, whole again without Reaching to grasp, grabbing the air Knowing the will to leave at the first offer of something else Feeling the unseen as temporary Only needing the replacement of The forever filling life Part III And so they escape to the world Leaving behind empty people Empty people, who still linger Attached without hope Seeking to find, seeking to fill up On the emptiness of others A screen busy before them A life blank yet awaits But still they hear voices Not hearing that the air is silent i wrote that about online people, well basically i've about had it with online chats and that kind of junk (no offense). which will pose a great problem with my boyfriend, seeing as he is an online guy. but oh well, i've just met a bunch of new people and it poses something so much better and more wonderful than a screen! that doesn't include email, but of course. ~~**~~ Comments? Send em all angelic poets! =) moonsong@ix.netcom.com ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V1 #15 *********************************