From: owner-ecto-digest@smoe.org (ecto-digest) To: ecto-digest@smoe.org Subject: ecto-digest V11 #69 Reply-To: ecto@smoe.org Sender: owner-ecto-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-ecto-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk ecto-digest Monday, March 14 2005 Volume 11 : Number 069 Today's Subjects: ----------------- The End of the Moon [Steve VanDevender ] Re: Fiona Apple [DanStark <2005.carnivore99@verizon.net>] Today's your birthday, friends... [Mike Matthews ] Re: Fiona Apple [andrew fries ] Re: Find Me [Steve VanDevender ] Re: Sampler Review & Project Lo [Lisa ] Re: Sampler Review [Laura Clifford ] Re: Fiona Apple [Greg Dunn ] Re: Sampler Review ["Xenu's Sister" ] Re: Sampler Review [neal copperman ] Re: Sampler Review ["Xenu's Sister" ] Tidbit for Amy Denio fans ["Xenu's Sister" ] Late anti-valentines day song [Alan ] RE: Sampler Review ["Bill Mazur" ] find me ["Suzanne DeCory" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sat, 12 Mar 2005 23:53:58 -0800 From: Steve VanDevender Subject: The End of the Moon A couple weeks ago I was riding back from a ski trip, and the kid sitting next to me and another guy decided to exchange musical experiences by swapping one's MP3 player for the other's CD player. The kid was visibly enjoying whatever he was listening to, so after a while I asked him what it was. "50 Cent," he said. "Want to try it?" Even though at that point I had some idea what it was, I gave it a listen anyway, and it was exactly what I suspected. Rap has always seemed rather monotonous and toneless to me, and so I sampled the beginnings of a few tracks and handed it back to him saying it wasn't the kind of thing I liked. Someone else, who apparently hadn't heard me say that I disliked rap, asked me "Who's your favorite rapper?" Taken aback by the question, all I could do at first was offer a sort of weak analogy to the effect of "What's my favorite kind of something I don't like?" But the question nagged at me a bit, and a little bit later I said, part jokingly, "That's it, Laurie Anderson is my favorite rapper." Not because I find her monotonous and toneless, just that of all the music I like hers has a number of examples that are more like spoken poetry than singing. (I also suggested Fred Schneider as a possibility, given that for most of the ride up and back we had left a best-of-the-B-52's tape looping in the van's tape player, to the point where it was actually getting a bit tiresome.) And then, I think it was only a day later that I noticed a posted flyer for a Laurie Anderson show here in Eugene. I just got back from it, and according to the introducer this was the fifth and final performance of "The End of the Moon". So I wish I could tell you to be on the lookout for Laurie Anderson's next tour stop, but she's off to Tokyo tomorrow, so I guess you'll have to wait. A lot of the material in "The End of the Moon" was inspired by Laurie's experience as NASA's first artist-in-residence, an offer she almost passed by, saying that when she was first called by someone saying they were from NASA and wanted her to be their artist-in-residence, she thought it was a fan who had figured out her secret dream and was doing this to torture her. There was also some political commentary, some direct and some indirect, and some of her common musings on dreams and the theme of life as bad art. A few highlights that stick in my memory: She once had the idea of creating an opera based on the Thomas Pynchon novel "Gravity's Rainbow" and wrote to Pynchon, although she didn't expect a reply. So she was surprised when she did get a letter back from Pynchon, sounding very positive about her idea but having one stipulation: he wanted it scored for only one instrument. The banjo. She said, "Some people have the nicest way of saying, 'No, no, no, not over my dead body.'" She visited scientists who were processing photographic imagery from the Hubble Space Telescope. She was particularly impressed by one image of a star-forming region. They explained how many of the images were taken with filters that sensed light outside the range of human vision, so the colors in the images weren't actually real. "Why did you pick the colors you did, instead of others?" she asked. "We thought these would look good," said the scientist. "And you call _me_ the artist-in-residence?" said Laurie. She got to visit the Jet Propulsion Laboratory where she saw the development of a possible Mars rover device to break up rocks for analysis, except that it kept missing the rocks with the hammer it was trying to strike them with. "It's a localiation problem," said the engineer, "where the rover thinks it is isn't really where it is." Laurie got a big laugh from the crowd by observing this is human problem too -- "where you think you are is not really where you are." She reflected on the mood after the start of the current war in Iraq, with Americans wondering why the rest of the world hated us, and what she saw as Americans trying to explain it to themselves as "they hate us because we're wealthy and free." But, she said, if a beautiful woman says, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful," you say, "We don't hate you because you're beautiful. We hate you because you're a jerk." (This also got a laugh from the audience.) This performance reminded me of the first time I saw Laurie Anderson in 1991, in that it was a mixture of stories and music, the music largely performed on her electric violin and a synthesizer. It also had a few multimedia tricks, such as a portion where she faced away from the audience, but held a penlight-sized video camera which she waved around and kept aimed at her face whose image was projected on a screen on the stage; later she attached this camera to her violin bow. ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Mar 2005 01:55:01 -0500 From: DanStark <2005.carnivore99@verizon.net> Subject: Re: Fiona Apple >while all other tracks are in mp3 format, the title track has an extention >of m4a, and while it starts playing on my system, it cuts off at around 30 >seconds. .. Does it work for anyone else? Would anyone know another source >where I could get regular mp3 file? I get the same thing in WinAmp but I was able to open the file in its entirety in Sony Sound Forge 7. I hope you can see the irony in that. Apparently .m4a is an MPEG-4 audio file but it's the first time I've encountered one. Did you try opening it in Quicktime or iTunes? I wonder how long it will be until that link gets killed... ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Mar 2005 03:00:02 -0500 (EST) From: Mike Matthews Subject: Today's your birthday, friends... i*i*i*i*i*i i*i*i*i*i*i *************** *****HAPPY********* **************BIRTHDAY********* *************************************************** *************************************************************************** ********************* kIrI Hargie (no Email address) ********************** ********************** Bob Dreano (no Email address) ********************** *************************************************************************** -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- - -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- kIrI Hargie Fri March 13 1970 Pisces Bob Dreano Thu March 13 1958 Pisces Randall K. Smith Sat March 15 1969 Pisces Jessica Skolnik March 16 Pisces Alan Sodoma Thu March 18 1965 LuckyLurker Richard Konrad Sat March 18 1944 Pisces Daniel Wed March 18 1959 Wednesday's Child Barry Wong Thu March 19 1970 Merlin Graham Dombkins Fri March 19 1965 Pisces Ian Young Wed March 19 1969 Squiggol Jeff Wasilko Wed March 19 1969 Pisces Geoff Carre Sat March 20 1954 Pisces John Stewart Sat March 21 1970 Aries Bob Brown Thu March 22 1951 Ham Valerie Nozick Thu March 25 1971 Aries Tom Proven Sat March 27 1971 Eat at Joe's Jennifer Albert Wed March 30 1966 Aries (w/Cancer rising!:) Warpaint Mon April 01 1991 Brilliant! Michael Pearce Wed April 03 1946 Pegasus Michael E. Bravo Mon April 05 1971 Dandelion Wine Brion McIntosh Sun April 06 1958 Aries Marcel Kshensky Thu April 06 1950 Aries Bill Mazur Mon April 06 1953 Aries Sun/Cancer Rising David Dixon Tue April 07 1970 Aries Heidi Heller Mon April 08 1974 Aries Jill Hughes Sat April 09 1955 Aries Klaus Kluge Sun April 10 1960 Unicorn Steve VanDevender Sun April 10 1966 Racer Art Liestman Fri April 10 1953 Repeat Stephen Golden Sat April 10 1971 Jokey Michael Bowman Wed April 11 1962 Aries Wolfgang Ullwer Fri April 11 1969 Widder Janet Kirsch Thu April 11 1974 Aries Jerry Tue April 13 1971 Aries - -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Mar 2005 17:55:01 +1100 From: andrew fries Subject: Re: Fiona Apple andrew fries wrote: > Would anyone know another source where I could get > regular mp3 file? Not to worry, I found a link that still works. If anyone wants it, its: http://www.cox-internet.com/shadowboxer/Fiona%20Apple%20-%20Extraordinary%20Machine.mp3 But be quick - it seems most of these sites don't last long. They may not want to release the music themselves, but they certainly don't want to let it go! ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Mar 2005 00:07:24 -0800 From: Steve VanDevender Subject: Re: Find Me meredith writes: > Things that make you go "hmmm"... Having recently listened to "Hounds of Love" again, and now that I listen to "Find Me" again, I'd have to say the thematic connection between "Find Me" and "The Ninth Wave" seems unmistakable. For the misheard lyrics file, I could have sworn that a line in the first verse of "Fall" went This world lost me vacuum tubes but I think it was because I was sick with a cold at the time. Sure made me go "hmmm" in between sniffles. I can't figure out what those last two words are now. ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Mar 2005 08:16:54 -0600 From: Lisa Subject: Re: Sampler Review & Project Lo Meth says: "I have to say that "The Chosen One" could safely have been left off -- in fact, I usually skip it. Musically it's lovely, but lyrically ... well, it just sounds like a childishly whiny song to me, especially now that we know that she and Bob are engaged. I've felt that way about it since the very first time I heard Happy perform it live, and I was secretly hoping she'd never get around to recording it." I feel exactly the same way about this song, Meth. Your whole review mirrors my own feelings pretty much song for song, but this hit the nail on the head. Happy is usually more subtle than that. On a somewhat unrelated note, I was ordering some more awesome flannel sheet from www.overstock.com and something told me to check out the CDs. I found Project Lo "Black Canvas" in their $1.00 bin and put it in my cart straightaway. For those who don't know, Happy sings on Peter Gabriel's "Mercy Street" and also "Perfection", and the songs are just stellar. Can't wait to get it. I can only hope that Bon has already gotten paid something for the disk I ordered, since royalties from $1 are probably not going to buy him a cup of coffee. But I thought I'd put it out there in case others had been searching for it. Back under my rock...Lisa ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Mar 2005 09:42:12 -0500 From: Laura Clifford Subject: Re: Sampler Review At 08:16 AM 3/13/2005 -0600, Lisa wrote: >Meth says: > >"I have to say that "The Chosen One" could safely have been left off -- in >fact, I usually skip it. Musically it's lovely, but lyrically ... well, it >just sounds like a childishly whiny song to me, especially now that we know >that she and Bob are engaged. I've felt that way about it since the very >first time I heard Happy perform it live, and I was secretly hoping she'd >never get around to recording it." > >I feel exactly the same way about this song, Meth. Your whole review mirrors my own feelings pretty much song for song, but this hit the nail on the head. Happy is usually more subtle than that. I must be alone here...after "Charley" I think I like this song the best - course I'm still in 'getting acclimated' mode. Absolutely great disc overall. Thanks again, Vickie. (By the way, I missed the URL to the lyrics site - can someone send it along?) Laura ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Mar 2005 14:34:08 -0500 From: Greg Dunn Subject: Re: Fiona Apple >I get the same thing in WinAmp but I was able to open the file in >its entirety in Sony Sound Forge 7. I hope you can see the irony in >that. Apparently .m4a is an MPEG-4 audio file but it's the first >time I've encountered one. Did you try opening it in Quicktime or >iTunes? .m4a is the suffix Apple gives to its AAC files; anything that will open a standard MP4 encoded file should play it OK, though you might have to change the suffix to .mp4 first. Quicktime and iTunes played it just fine. - -- - -- | Greg Dunn | There are 10 different types of | | gregdunn@indy.net | people in the world: those who | | The Sultan of Slack(tm) | understand binary, and those who | | http://www.indy.net/~gregdunn/ | don't. | ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Mar 2005 12:28:33 -0800 (PST) From: "Xenu's Sister" Subject: Re: Sampler Review - --- Laura Clifford wrote: > At 08:16 AM 3/13/2005 -0600, Lisa wrote: > >Meth says: > > > >"I have to say that "The Chosen One" could safely have been left off -- in > >fact, I usually skip it. Musically it's lovely, but lyrically ... well, it > >just sounds like a childishly whiny song to me, especially now that we know > >that she and Bob are engaged. I've felt that way about it since the very > >first time I heard Happy perform it live, and I was secretly hoping she'd > >never get around to recording it." > > > >I feel exactly the same way about this song, Meth. Your whole review > mirrors my own feelings pretty much song for song, but this hit the nail on > the head. Happy is usually more subtle than that. > > I must be alone here...after "Charley" I think I like this song the best - > course I'm still in 'getting acclimated' mode. Absolutely great disc overall. > Thanks again, Vickie. You're welcome. I like The Chosen One much better on disc than I did live. Live I felt pretty much the same way as meth, but when she said something like "there are times when I just wanted to be a normal girl" it hit me on a much deeper level. We're so used to Happy being dark and out there, that we forget sometimes that that puts her out of the mainstream, and sometimes, out of the mainstream people just want to be normal. I know that I go out of my way now to keep people from finding out what a mutant I am :-). (Seriously, I now regret greatly all those rambling writings I used to flood Ecto with). A song about Happy just, wanting to be a normal girl (in this particular instance) makes it even more poignant than just a song about pining to be married. Also, having the lyrics makes the song much deeper than what I heard when I heard it in concert. "Whenever I see a chosen one I feel ugly" That's really sad, especially since Happy is so beautiful, I think. It's not what's on the outside though, it's how you were treated when you were growing up that wears down your self-esteem and it's VERY hard to let go of those feelings (as Happy writes about in "Can't Let Go"). Look at Marilyn Monroe. She hated herself and thought she was so ugly. All the acclaim in the world couldn't get rid of those inner torments. It's really more about the need and desire to be loved than just getting hitched. == Its in every picture, His eyes intently fixed on her, and It plays on my need to be anything To anyone Everybody sees me as a solitary entity But I long to be important to somebody == Happy (in the song) realizes that it's an unusual desire for someone like her. She wasn't a normal girl-child so it's odd for us to know that she loved fairy tales just like other normal little girls: == Its a love of fairy tales that drives this guilty wish To walk serenely, in front of family to collect my kiss And though this notion is as flawed as any I have learned (not sure about "learned") Id like to think that, like the others, it's something I deserve == It kills me now, and makes me cry. I feel bad that I dismissed it for so many years. > (By the way, I missed the URL to the lyrics site - can someone send it along?) Sure, it's http://www.wretchawry.com/happy/lyrics Keep in mind that they're just working lyrics. Happy is going to put the lyrics up, I just don't know when. Vickie __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Yahoo! Small Business - Try our new resources site! http://smallbusiness.yahoo.com/resources/ ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Mar 2005 14:09:14 -0700 From: neal copperman Subject: Re: Sampler Review At 12:28 PM -0800 3/13/05, Xenu's Sister wrote: >(Seriously, I now regret greatly all those rambling writings >I used to flood Ecto with). That's like when the Cocteau Twins slag Treasure! I loved those old posts Vickie. That was part of what made ecto feel like such a community, and why so many of us stick around and think such nostalgic, warm thoughts about the list, even though it doesn't look much like it did then. If you only came on board in the last 5 years, you probably have a different view of ecto. But 10 to 12 years ago, the list was very active. There were dozens of posts a day. Rambling and chatty. Everyone was abuzz with the music they were listening to and the concerts they were seeing, but it was more then that too. Amongst the talk of music, which is what drew us all there in the first place, there was so much else going on. I don't know precisely what it was. There were certainly less internet forums then, and no blogs. But it just seemed to fill a certain hole in a lot of our lives. I know I was uprooted and living in California without any friends or community. For whatever reason, people all over the country and world seemed to have a lot of time and energy for ecto. There were real and virtual parties, chat rooms, an ecto hostel network, ectophile gatherings, Happy Gift Projects, Birthday tapes, the tape archive, ectofests, ectofest west, outings to see Happy's rare concerts. It was a very vibrant community and an important part of my life. I made so many strong friends through this group. People who are still good friends, who I have flown to see and stayed at their homes. And I have hosted many a travelling ectophile too. It's great that so many people are still around from those days, and keep popping back up. It's also great to see and get to know a lot of new people too. But Vickie, it was your ramblings (wow, why does Eudora think THAT is inflammatory?) that helped set the tone for the kind of openness and sharing that was at the core of that community. You should look back on your role there with pride! Hmmm, now who is rambling :) old man neal np: Ballads & Burlesque sampler - Rachael Sage PS: Jon Spurney backed Casey Neill here on Friday and was brilliant! People should put a grand piano in front of him more often. Just don't let him invent impromptu folk songs at dinner if there is ANYONE else in the restaurant! PPS: I have 3 Rhodesongs and 3 Warpaint CASSETTES. I can think of absolutely no use for them. Anyone interested? ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Mar 2005 13:39:10 -0800 (PST) From: "Xenu's Sister" Subject: Re: Sampler Review - --- neal copperman wrote: > At 12:28 PM -0800 3/13/05, Xenu's Sister wrote: > > >(Seriously, I now regret greatly all those rambling writings > >I used to flood Ecto with). > > That's like when the Cocteau Twins slag Treasure! That's one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me, because that's ENORMOUS! It used to hurt me deeply when one of the Twins talked trash about that album. *cry* Thank you. > I loved those old > posts Vickie. That was part of what made ecto feel like such a > community, and why so many of us stick around and think such > nostalgic, warm thoughts about the list, even though it doesn't look > much like it did then. I didn't write what I did to get a reaction from anyone, so this throws me. I don't know what to say. Seriously, I'm crying. > I don't know precisely what it was. There were certainly less > internet forums then, and no blogs. Ecto began in 1991, before the World Wide Web even existed. There was USENET, and there were mailing lists. That's pretty much it. > But it just seemed to fill a certain hole in a lot of our lives. I never did have many friends in real life (still don't) so it filled a need for me to share music. I had my radio show then too so I was getting the best of both worlds. I was getting to share the actual music with people, and getting to talk about it to others online. Once I started writing, I often couldn't stop, and shared a lot of *very* personal details about things that happened to me growing up (it's that stuff that I mainly regret, simply because it was SO personal that it drove some people away from ecto. I never forgave myself for that), so I guess I don't really regret most of the rambling writings, just some of it. (a very good overview of what ecto was regretfully deleted) > But Vickie, it was your ramblings (wow, why does > Eudora think THAT is inflammatory?) Bizarre! > that helped set the tone for the > kind of openness and sharing that was at the core of that community. > > You should look back on your role there with pride! I do, really, especially after this posting. Wow. I've always thought that if I never do anythig else worthwhile in my life, I'll had my son, and I introduced Happy Rhodes to gaffa, which started the ball rolling on Ecto, and her still having a core fanbase to this day. She appreciates it, and my heart is full because of it. > Hmmm, now who is rambling :) Yes, but you made me cry and laugh and feel good in the space of a few minutes. You've spent your Sunday well. > old man neal Ha, you're a young pup! > PPS: I have 3 Rhodesongs and 3 Warpaint CASSETTES. I can think of > absolutely no use for them. Anyone interested? I've got dozens, and Happy has even more. Maybe they'll come back into vogue and become collector's items on ebay. Vickie __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Yahoo! Small Business - Try our new resources site! http://smallbusiness.yahoo.com/resources/ ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Mar 2005 16:58:43 -0800 (PST) From: "Xenu's Sister" Subject: Tidbit for Amy Denio fans She's in a band called The Tiptons now (used to be called The Billy Tipton Memorial Saxophone Quintet) and there's a segment of them playing in the subway in NYC on an NPR show called The Next Big Thing. It's online at http://www.nextbigthing.org/ I'm not much into jazz, but it sounds like a lot of fun. Vickie __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Make Yahoo! your home page http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Mar 2005 18:48:22 -0800 From: Alan Subject: Late anti-valentines day song I had forgot about the song "What If?" by Bongwater. Kind of an anti- love song. - -- "If any sign of pleasure is exhibited, report to me and it will be prohibited. So shall it be! This is the Land of the Free!" - George W. Firefly ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 13 Mar 2005 18:00:38 -0800 From: "Bill Mazur" Subject: RE: Sampler Review I very much agree with Vickie's assessment of the lyrics on "The Chosen One". When I first heard that song at Ectofest West, I found the lyrics to be very poignant. The longing in those lyrics feels/felt like it goes/went very deep to the core. The fact that Happy is engaged now really warms my heart and helps to soften that feeling. Like every other one of us, we all need to be loved and needed. Happy has reached this mythic status here on Ecto. Many of us call her a "Goddess". I would think that designation would be both flattering and unnerving/disconcerting. A friend of mine is a huge Peter Gabriel fan (like most of us here). A number of years ago he was on holiday in the UK and he specifically went to Peter's home in Bath. My friend dropped off a basket of fresh fruit and nuts on his front door step and then rang the doorbell and left. He included a note to Peter thanking him for his music and how it touched his (my friend's) life. A few years later my friend was involved in elements of bringing together the Amnesty International show to the Bay Area. Because of other promotions my friend has been involved in over the years he became friends with Bono and The Edge during their first tour of the US. At one point, Bono briefly introduced my friend to Peter Gabriel. During the Amnesty tour, my friend met up with Peter again and was able to spend some time talking to him. During the conversation with Peter my friend mentioned the fact that he was the one that had left the fruit basket. Peter's response was "why didn't you stay so that we could have shared the fruit together?" My point in relating this story is that these really creative people that we idolize are just human beings with hopes, dreams and desires, joys and heartaches, just like the rest of us. They just happen to be able to tap into what makes us all human and express it in a powerful and meaningful way through their gift of music and their insights through their lyrics to all of us. I guess that is why we tend to deify them. Peter Townsend in an interview was talking about people in his life that had died like Keith Moon, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Brian Jones and Mama Cass. He said "These may be your fucking icons, but they are my fucking friends. My fucking friends are dead!" There was real human pain and heartache expressed in those words. All the best! Bill P.S. - Vickie, if you have any pre-release Happy CDs left please contact me off-line. Thanks! - -----Original Message----- From: owner-ecto@smoe.org [mailto:owner-ecto@smoe.org] On Behalf Of Xenu's Sister Sent: Sunday, March 13, 2005 12:29 PM To: ecto@smoe.org Subject: Re: Sampler Review - --- Laura Clifford wrote: > At 08:16 AM 3/13/2005 -0600, Lisa wrote: > >Meth says: > > > >"I have to say that "The Chosen One" could safely have been left off - -- in > >fact, I usually skip it. Musically it's lovely, but lyrically ... well, it > >just sounds like a childishly whiny song to me, especially now that we know > >that she and Bob are engaged. I've felt that way about it since the very > >first time I heard Happy perform it live, and I was secretly hoping she'd > >never get around to recording it." > > > >I feel exactly the same way about this song, Meth. Your whole review > mirrors my own feelings pretty much song for song, but this hit the nail on > the head. Happy is usually more subtle than that. > > I must be alone here...after "Charley" I think I like this song the best - > course I'm still in 'getting acclimated' mode. Absolutely great disc overall. > Thanks again, Vickie. You're welcome. I like The Chosen One much better on disc than I did live. Live I felt pretty much the same way as meth, but when she said something like "there are times when I just wanted to be a normal girl" it hit me on a much deeper level. We're so used to Happy being dark and out there, that we forget sometimes that that puts her out of the mainstream, and sometimes, out of the mainstream people just want to be normal. I know that I go out of my way now to keep people from finding out what a mutant I am :-). (Seriously, I now regret greatly all those rambling writings I used to flood Ecto with). A song about Happy just, wanting to be a normal girl (in this particular instance) makes it even more poignant than just a song about pining to be married. Also, having the lyrics makes the song much deeper than what I heard when I heard it in concert. "Whenever I see a chosen one I feel ugly" That's really sad, especially since Happy is so beautiful, I think. It's not what's on the outside though, it's how you were treated when you were growing up that wears down your self-esteem and it's VERY hard to let go of those feelings (as Happy writes about in "Can't Let Go"). Look at Marilyn Monroe. She hated herself and thought she was so ugly. All the acclaim in the world couldn't get rid of those inner torments. It's really more about the need and desire to be loved than just getting hitched. == Its in every picture, His eyes intently fixed on her, and It plays on my need to be anything To anyone Everybody sees me as a solitary entity But I long to be important to somebody == Happy (in the song) realizes that it's an unusual desire for someone like her. She wasn't a normal girl-child so it's odd for us to know that she loved fairy tales just like other normal little girls: == Its a love of fairy tales that drives this guilty wish To walk serenely, in front of family to collect my kiss And though this notion is as flawed as any I have learned (not sure about "learned") Id like to think that, like the others, it's something I deserve == It kills me now, and makes me cry. I feel bad that I dismissed it for so many years. > (By the way, I missed the URL to the lyrics site - can someone send it along?) Sure, it's http://www.wretchawry.com/happy/lyrics Keep in mind that they're just working lyrics. Happy is going to put the lyrics up, I just don't know when. Vickie __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Yahoo! Small Business - Try our new resources site! http://smallbusiness.yahoo.com/resources/ ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 14 Mar 2005 01:53:07 -0500 From: "Suzanne DeCory" Subject: find me Hello :) I have wanted to post of the new sampler although have been one of many too- with reasons of lateness.. Firstly, and probably most importantly, I only recently received it and have been spending time with it. I don't know who else said this, but I too have been listening pretty much daily.. in the car to work & home, driving around, in my boyfriend's DVD player one afternoon by myself (!) on my computer, my stereo (which finally just got properly set up!) and even the other night: over dinner at my boyfriend's on his stereo. (yes, I had him sit and listen with me as he is a guitar rocker kinda guy!) I have yet to fully listen actively in headphones! (I know, shame on me!!) A big shout out and thank you to Vickie! For collecting more CD samplers from Happy to send out and getting one and sending one to me. The thought of new Happy material was just too good to pass. Especially since I couldn't make the trek to Philly. It has also certainly been a long awaited up and coming album. I remember the first house concert and the good news that 'spring would arrive with the new album.' I was like a little kid so excited! Of course, 'life is what happens while making other plans' and more time came to pass. Then Vickie did an incredible thing (again!) She sent links of some of Happy's songs- here to us, from a live living room show *somewhere* where I, again, wasn't. I must have listened to those songs a hundred times online! I specifically remember the Chosen One on acoustic, which was new, and man, I was blown away! I wanted so much to save them on comp but couldn't. So I just kept on listening as long as I could until the web site just 'died out.' Man, was that a bummer... I wished Happy would release/sell/burn them on CD for us or something. (we are such music addicts sometimes needing a fix or something!) Then, before I know it, here is a sampler CD and I have one in my hands! Once again, feeling like a little kid, tearing open the wrapper as fast as I could, lol, to have my listen. (it's mine mine mine all mine!lol) Another reason I am prob so late here is because music, especially, when it come to Happy, is so personal to me. To sit here and discuss it, the arrangements, what I like, etc. etc. is always difficult. Perhaps I am biased when it comes to Happy because I just adore and admire her so much. I guess a part of me just feels that music and art from the artistist's I love, especially Happy, is a gift. I embrace it fully, as is, and it humbles me. For me, it becomes personal because she invokes so much internally, for different reasons in different places, and I relate so many aspects. So I sometimes have a hard time opening even myself up, let alone hearing or relating any kind of critique. I really love the sampler. I really don't want to be like everyone else and say which song is my favorite, or not and so on. The songs all stand on their own beautifully and I love each one for so many different reasons. I could almost compare some of the emotions I feel listening to some of these songs to that of the album Blue (joni mitchell) in her own ways. Some are incredibly personal and emotionally transparent. Especially The Chosen One.. which some here seem to be knocking a tad and for the life of me, I don't understand. I know Happy is engaged now and wrote this song before she was- but I think this song is incredibly emotive and very personal to write. Perhaps those that have it on the bottom are already married or something ;) I don't know.. This song certainly hit home with me. The acoustic version I heard absolutely blew me away.... Here and Hereafter I feel is another incredibly strong song (which even my boyfriend commented how much he liked it, if you recall, the rocker;) As soon as it started I felt, "Wow! This is just pure Happy Rhodes.." and reminded me of aspects from earlier work. We both felt this song could be her most 'radio friendly one' as well. I find myself walking around humming the melody all the time :) Happy's vocals are better and stronger with each album. Her range and control is just outstanding on this album. Find Me is really beyond any words I could express.. it leaves me completely and utterly speechless.. it's so beautiful and sad, so ninth wave and dreamy, and gets me everytime. I LOVE the piano! Besides Happy's lyrics and vocals on the album, everytime I listen, the piano stands out incredibly on these songs! Even reminded me strangely at one point a tiny bit of a Renaissance (the group) song.. The guitar work is also top notch... as well as the bass. I honestly still miss the accompaniment of KB sometimes (including the drippy bass;) but Handsford and Bon are wonderful musicians. Gong! My God, I still can't believe or know how Happy hooked up with 2 members of Gong! How cool is this? I can't think of anything cooler... those guys seriously rock! :) I love all the new songs already- so no doubt I'll love the full album that will follow! I am hoping Happy will play out with it too... even though I know she dislikes all the booking BS that comes with it and that is understandable. House concerts are great and incredibly intimate but I still also wish she'd get out and be heard more too! I wish more people had exposure to her! To listen to the albums is one thing, but to hear and see her live is truly a magical experience not to be missed. Okay, I've sent my much *edited* review (; It still isn't easy to send; I know I left out a lot I wished I could have expressed... Perhaps I'll find myself writing to Happy soon enough. Thanks for listening anyhow (: Suzanne (email filtered and set to exclusive contacts) To get the full value of a joy, you must have somebody to divide it with (Mark Twain). May your February and the year ahead be filled with long division ;) ------------------------------ End of ecto-digest V11 #69 **************************