Errors-To: owner-ecto@ns1.rutgers.edu Reply-To: ecto@ns1.rutgers.edu Sender: ecto@ns1.rutgers.edu From: ecto@ns1.rutgers.edu To: ecto-request@ns1.rutgers.edu Bcc: ecto-digest-outbound@ns1.rutgers.edu Subject: ecto #514 ecto, Number 514 Wednesday, 31 March 1993 Today's Topics: *-----------------* life wasn't meant for cowards guitar vs. piano Re: wordsofwisdomfortoday Re: Trivial question of ghastly proportions! Happy in Billboard!!! Re: WARNING: self-pitying rambling About Depression ======================================================================== Date: 30 Mar 93 15:29:01 EST From: Mike Mendelson Subject: life wasn't meant for cowards Y: > I don't believe you were to weak to commit suicide - actually you were > all to strong. And selfish? *ponder* A weak person would have done it > cause he/she would have seen his/her pains as more important than the > values around him/her. You were willing to forgive - some people > can't/won't forgive. So I say once more : You ARE NOT weak and > absolutly not selfish!!!!!!!! Suicide is an act of weakness and cowardice. Staying alive is an act of strength and courage. The law of entropy says all things tend towards chaos. Death is chaos. Living requires energy. Lots and lots of energy. That's why we eat. (Hmmm, I'm straying from my point.) -mjmwordsofwisdomfortoday PS. Did the song performances (errr, Milli Vanilli?) in the Ack! Awards suck, or what? Liza Minelli is great... when she's really singing. And I actually like Whole New World... except not when it is lip sunck and there are so may people running around the stage the song gets lost in the glitz. Typical hollywood excess. Yuck. Ack! indeed. The Barbara Walters interview with Sharon Stone was cool though... Stone really came off as being very intelligent. Definitely not a bimbo. ======================================================================== Date: 30 Mar 93 16:08:37 EST From: Mike Mendelson Subject: guitar vs. piano Ango: >2. Happy writes on the guitar. KaTe writes on the piano. Is this strictly true? Do we know for sure that Happy composes on the guitar? In fact, I know that she said that the only reason she used guitar on so many early songs was because that was the available instrument but that she really wanted to use keyboards more (as she has done progressively). Some of the early songs must have been written for guitar (?), but how about more recent ones (i.e. WP and EQP)? -mjm ======================================================================== Date: Tue, 30 Mar 93 23:18:25 +0200 From: yngveh@stud.cs.uit.no (Yngve Hauge) Subject: Re: life wasn't meant for cowards I won't actually say you are a coward when you commit suicide and you are not a coward when you keep on living. The life is relative :) Regards -- ___________________________________________________________________ \ / | Yngve Hauge (yngveh@stud.cs.uit.no) | | Univerity of Tromsoe | | | | "Only in your eyes lies your soul" H.R | | "They are only putting in a nickel and | | they want a dollar song" Melanie | /__________________________________________________________________\ ======================================================================== From: special K Subject: life wasn't meant for cowards Date: Tue, 30 Mar 93 16:19:11 EST -mjmwordsofwisdomfortoday said: > Ack! indeed. The Barbara Walters interview with Sharon Stone was > cool though... Stone really came off as being very intelligent. > Definitely not a bimbo. And was it not cool that she said she hoped people thought her to be bisexual?! Her Vanity Fair interview this month also touched on this...she said she tried dating women...cool, someone with an open mind....rare these days, eh? sK ======================================================================== Date: Tue, 30 Mar 93 16:23:08 CST From: lusky@sol.hc.ti.com (Steve Lusky) Subject: Re: wordsofwisdomfortoday mjm: Suicide is an act of weakness and cowardice. Methinks suicide is often an act of deep depression, pain, frustration and hopelessness. Some might even perceive suicide as an act of strength and courage, though that is not my opinion. And for someone on the verge of suicide, does anyone else's opinion matter? mjm: Staying alive is an act of strength and courage. Indeed. More so than some may realize. It is a challange to all of us to help each other, that we may work through our problems and improve our lives. The time to help people contemplating suicide is NOW, though it is usually very difficult to find this out. Kind of like cancer, suicide can be preventable IF you catch it in time. Mike, I'm not disagreeing with you, but I'm concerned that saying suicide shows weakness and cowardice may help a person contemplating suicide move closer to the precipice. I don't mean to be preachy, but: Be a good, a very good, listener. Seek compassionate help if it looks serious. Professional help is available and effective and too often ignored. Yet sometimes just a close friend, new or not, can make a world of difference. I think Happy's words and music are not made for cowards. But are they made for people with Depression; how do they view her work? We've discussed this topic some, but I still wonder about it. Ciao, Steve ======================================================================== From: jmg@rocket.com (Jim Gurley) Subject: Re: Trivial question of ghastly proportions! Date: Tue, 30 Mar 93 13:07:51 PST A fellow Happy-fanatic and I were listening to the local we-call-ourselves- hip-and-alternative-radio-but-we-still-play-the cars-and-Sting-station (whew) anyway... the latest Duran Durango single came on and during the chorus/the birdge/the-whatever-you-wanna-call-it-that gets-repeated there was a voice that sounded suspiciously like Kate Bush... Could it be: 1) that she would stoop that low or 2) that they are sampling early Kate or 3) there is yet another female vocalist out there who sounds like the high-flying early Kate ????????????? ======================================================================== Date: Wed, 31 Mar 93 01:45:51 +0200 From: yngveh@stud.cs.uit.no (Yngve Hauge) Subject: Re: wordsofwisdomfortoday I was very far down as I discovered music 4.5 years ago and I believe in music as medicine for the soul. And to believe and to start believe is very important for the healing. My parents are both medical educated and working at the local hospital in my hometown. I've often heard they say - He/She has stopped believe in the healing. I can't give you any specific cases you surely know but I can say that in many cases I've read in the local papers that HE/She was dead :( So whatever medicine you try, remember : No believe = very little or no effect!!! As I believe I am going to go on living I am living. That's a problem we have to consern with when we're talking about Woodoo and such 'religions'. No medical threatment will ever help them who have got 'spells' on them. It's a good example of how important believing something is and to have 'the right'/positiv believes. (What are right believes?) That's why I just laugh when someone says he/she doesn't believe in anything. We are all believing in (or not believing) in life, aren't we? As I've being at the edge between life and death I know how hard it is to drag oneselves up to safety. You got to have only positiv factors, one single negativ factor untill your new believe and trust is strong enough might make you go the wrong way again. I was lucky cause I got some very good friends in that period. And I also realized someone needed me. Strength is just one of many factors in out complicated life. But I think believing is even more important. Cowardness is a word I somehow can't stand. Maybe cause I never have been able to define for myself what it will say to do a cowardly act........until then I can't get myself to use that word. Because as I understand now all of us are cowards :) (I won't offend anyone) Many regards from one believing in life! -- ___________________________________________________________________ \ / | Yngve Hauge (yngveh@stud.cs.uit.no) | | Univerity of Tromsoe | | | | "Only in your eyes lies your soul" H.R | | "They are only putting in a nickel and | | they want a dollar song" Melanie | /__________________________________________________________________\ P.S I've listened to all the Happy CDs I've got today (but _VII_ which one of my friends borrowed) and I must say I love the music. Maybe _VI_ is my favorite right now. But maybe not tomorrow :) ======================================================================== Date: Tue, 30 Mar 93 20:18:23 EST From: WretchAwry Subject: Happy in Billboard!!! I haven't read any mail yet, so I don't know if this has been posted, but I'll go ahead and send it anyway. This is *GREAT*!! BILLBOARD Magazine April 3, 1993 Page 92 Singles Review * HAPPY RHODES Runners Producers: Kevin Bartlett, Happy Rhodes Writer: H. Rhodes Publisher: Hovering Slab, BMI Aural Gratification AG19 (CD cut) Alternative cult favorite is poised for pop/AC crossover with a glistening entry that weaves poetic verses into a fabric of swirling rhythms and a hypnotic mantra- like chorus chanting. Rhodes manages to effectively work the extreme ends of her wide range without resorting to showboating and overpowering the song. An adventurous programming choice that must be made. * = Critic's Choice. New releases, regardless of potential chart action, which the reviewer highly recommends because of their musical merit. ======================================================================== Date: Tue, 30 Mar 93 21:04:48 EST From: Greg Bossert Subject: Re: Happy in Billboard!!! a billboard critic said this!?!?!: > [good stuff deleted] > An adventurous programming choice that must be made. crank up your fridge and get them beans ready -- it may be a silly magazine, but for this, let all their sins be forgiven... i dunno if billboard's opinion matters to Happy in any artistic way, but it very well may matter in a finacial way... alternative pop footahs! -greg -- bossert@vizlab.rutgers.edu -- == i have never been afraid to change == Happy == the circumstances of the world == Rhodes ======================================================================== Date: Wed, 31 Mar 93 04:24:49 +0200 From: yngveh@stud.cs.uit.no (Yngve Hauge) Subject: Re: Happy in Bilboard!!! I had to post to say how much I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!! Many many regards, -- ___________________________________________________________________ \ / | Yngve Hauge (yngveh@stud.cs.uit.no) | | Univerity of Tromsoe | | | | "Only in your eyes lies your soul" H.R | | "They are only putting in a nickel and | | they want a dollar song" Melanie | /__________________________________________________________________\ ======================================================================== Date: Tue, 30 Mar 93 23:18:05 EST From: WretchAwry Subject: Re: WARNING: self-pitying rambling > ecto is playing. remind me to tell you my theory of ghosts sometime. > brni Hey brni, tell us about your theory of ghosts. Vickie ps, I hope you days since Sunday have been better. ======================================================================== Date: Tue, 30 Mar 93 23:13:59 EST From: WretchAwry Subject: About Depression This appeared in asar and I thought it might interest people who really don't know that much about clinical depression. It might help to be able to understand Happy and her lyrics. And yeah, me too. Out of 17 "Symptoms of Depression," I have, or have had, all 17. My "normal" level of depression is described in the 3rd paragraph, though I've been at the 4th paragraph level *many* times. (I say "have had" because the anti-depression medication I've been taking has helped minimise some of the symptoms. Also, physical symptoms such as headaches and backaches come and go.) I'm not sending this as a "message" or anything, I just thought it was interesting to see written down. I'm in therapy and doing ok. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- UNDERSTANDING DEPRESSION ---------------------------- Depression is a disturbance in mood characterized by varying degrees of sadness, disappointment, loneliness, hopelessness, self-doubt, and guilt. Most people tend to feel depressed at one time or another, but some people may experience these feelings more frequently or with deeper, more lasting, effects. In some cases, depression can last for months or even years. The most common type of depression is what is referred to as "feeling blue" or "being in a bad mood." These feelings are usually brief in duration and have minimal or slight effects on normal everyday activities. In the next level of depression, symptoms become more intense and last for a longer period of time. Daily activities may become more difficult... but the individual is still able to cope with them. It is at this level, however, that feelings of hopelessness can become so intense that suicide may seem the only solution. A person experiencing severe depression may experience extreme fluctuations in moods or even a desire for complete withdrawal from daily routine and/or the outside world. Symptoms of Depression -------------------------- Depression may affect one's life in any of the following ways: Changes in Feelings and/or Perceptions * Crying spells or, at at the other extreme, lack of emotional responsiveness. * Inability to find pleasure in anything. * Feelings of hopelessness and/or worthlessness. * Exaggerated sense of guilt or self-blame. * Loss of sexual desire. * Loss of warm feelings toward family or friends. Changes in Behavior and Attitudes * Lack of interest in prior activities and withdrawal from others. * Neglect of responsibilities and appearance. * Irritability, complaints about matters previously taken in stride. * Dissatisfaction about life in general. * Impaired memory, inability to concentrate, indecisiveness, and confusion. * Reduced ability to cope on a daily basis. Physical Complaints * Chronic fatigue and lack of energy. * Complete loss of appetite, or at the other extreme, compulsive eating. * Insomnia, early morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping. * Unexplained headaches, backaches, and similar complaints. * Digestive problems including stomach pain, nausea, indigestion, and/or change in bowel habits. Causes of Depression ------------------------ Depression is often the result of an unhappy event such as the death of a loved one. When the source of depression is readily apparent and the person is fully aware of it, the individual can expect the reaction o moderate and then fade away within a reasonable amount of time. In cases where feelings of depression exist with no apparent source or the source is unclear, the depression may get worse because the person is unable to understand it. This sense of loss of control may add to the actual feelings of depression. Any number of stressors may be involved in depression. These can include personality, environmental, or biomedical factors. Shortages or chemical imbalances in the brain may play a significant role in some cases of depression. Such imbalances may be created by illness, infections, certain drugs (including alcohol and even prescribed medications) and improper diet and nutrition. In general, depression may be viewed as a withdrawal from physical or psychological stress. Identifying and understanding the underlying causes of such stress is a necessary step in learning to cope with depression. Helping Yourself ------------------- Being honest with yourself about changes in mood or the intensity of negative feelings as they occur will help you identify possible sources of depression or stress. You should examine your feelings and try to determine what is troubling you -- relationships with family or friends, financial responsibilities, and so forth. Discussing problems with the people involved or with an understanding friend can sometimes bring about a resolution before a critical stage of stress is reached. Even mild depression should be dealt with if it interferes with your effectiveness. You might also try to: * Change your normal routine by taking a break for a favorite activity or something new -- even if you don't feel like it; * Exercise to work off tension, improve digestion, help you relax, and perhaps improve your ability to sleep; * Avoid known stressors; * Avoid making long-term commitments, decisions, or changes that make you feel trapped or confined -- it is better to put them off until you feel you are better able to cope; and * See a physician, especially if physical complaints persist. Helping a Depressed Friend ------------------------------ Since severely depressed individuals can be very withdrawn, lethargic, self-ruminating, and possibly suicidal, a concerned friend can provide a valuable and possibly life-saving service. Talking candidly with the individual regarding your concern for his or her well being will often bring the problems out into the open. As you talk with your friend, the American College Health Association advises the following: * Do not try to "cheer up" the individual. * Do not criticize or shame, as feelings of depression cannot be helped. * Do not sympathize and claim that you feel the same way as he or she does. * Try not to get angry with the depressed individual. Your primary objective is to let the person know you are concerned and willing to help. If feelings of depression appear to turn to thoughts of suicide, urge the individual to seek professional help. If the person resists such a suggestion and you feel that suicide is likely -- seek professional help yourself, so you will know how to best handle the situation. When Professional Help is Necessary -------------------------------------- Depression is treatable and needless suffering of those who experience it can be alleviated. A mental health professional should be consulted when an individual experiences any of the following circumstances: * When pain or problems outweigh pleasures much of the time; * When symptoms are so severe and persistent that day-to-day functioning is impaired; and/or * When stress seems so overwhelming that suicide seems to be a viable option. Qualified mental health professionals can help identify the causes and sources of depression and can help the individual find ways to overcome them. -- Ed Carp erc@apple.com, erc@saturn.upl.com 510/659-9560 "It is your resistance to 'what is' that causes your suffering." -- Buddha ======================================================================== The ecto archives are on hardees.rutgers.edu in ~ftp/pub/hr. There is an INDEX file explaining what is where. Feel free to send me things you'd like to have added. -- jessica (jessica@ns1.rutgers.edu)