From: owner-chakram-refugees-digest@smoe.org (chakram-refugees-digest) To: chakram-refugees-digest@smoe.org Subject: chakram-refugees-digest V9 #30 Reply-To: chakram-refugees@smoe.org Sender: owner-chakram-refugees-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-chakram-refugees-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk chakram-refugees-digest Sunday, April 25 2010 Volume 09 : Number 030 Today's Subjects: ----------------- [chakram-refugees] Old Ares Had a Farm [cr ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sat, 24 Apr 2010 22:45:24 +1300 From: cr Subject: [chakram-refugees] Old Ares Had a Farm Xena's interrogation technique hasn't got any more subtle, she and Gabs wreck an inn asking a ruffian questions. Ares, on the other hand, as a mortal, still looks like someone I'd rather have on my side than the opposition's. Ares does NOT make a convincing farmer. Not even a remotely credible one. And the proposed farm is a tumbledown wreck. Xena seems to be suffering from softening of the brain, the way she enthuses over the dump where she was brought up (okay, so it wasn't a dump then, but that was fifty winters ago). Even odder, Gabs seems to be equally impressed, with not even a hint that she might be faking the enthusiasm for Xena's benefit. The countryside round about certainly looks picturesque enough. So do Xena's and Gabs' summer frocks. So does the next door neighbour, who thinks Ares looks pretty picturesque, at that. Just to spoil the mood, there's news that an army is approaching with the intention of knocking off Ares, so Xena goes out stop them. Waving a dagger just like the one Joxer used to kill the villain in The Convert (I think), Xena stabs a defenceless map in the wrong location. Back at the farm, a leaky roof forces the three of them to share the only dry bed in the house, whereupon absolutely nothing happens. Awww :( Then there's the cute dog. 'Do they have dogs on Olympus?' 'Not one-headed ones'. (Not a bad line). 'He's trying to be affectionate'. 'I'm not interested in that kind of a relationship'. Ares to Gabs: 'Is there anything you and I agree on?' Gabs looks at Xena. 'Oh yeah. Anything else?' asks Ares. I'll bet the subtexters howled at that line :) Later, the next-door neighbour Greba drops by to, err, see how Ares is getting on. She's quite taken by the dog - "When he likes you, he just comes up and starts licking you. Why can't we be more like that?" How Ares (Kevin) keeps a straight face I'll never know. I'd love to see the out-takes from that scene. Then the villains arrive, seeking Ares. Gabrielle distracts them with her best cowgirl-slut impersonation, while Ares disguises himself as a yokel - not so successfully, he needs some impromptu help from Xena to carry it off. Villains gone, Gabs reproaches Ares for his 'attitude', he retaliates "My woman was about to take on [love the double meaning] an entire army; I think even a farmer would have just a little bit of attitude about that, don't you?" Gabs: "I was playing with my character. I just used the first thing that popped into my head." Ares: "I think that says a lot about you". Score one to Ares :) The trick doesn't work for long though, so Xena and Gabs have to visit the warlord and stage a phony cat-fight in the warlord's tent, during which the 'jealous' Gabby lets out that Ares is hiding in the Poltrois caves. Oddly enough the warlord doesn't seem to care that they're smashing up the furniture. Again. But the ruse succeeds, and the villains head off to the caves wherein lives, apparently, a very efficient eight-headed monster. Odd, I thought Xena didn't kill a lot of people these days. And so Xena and Gabs leave Ares on the farm. End of ep. Overall, it had some good lines (if you like double-entendres. I do). For which we can thank R J Stewart, I'll bet he enjoyed hiself. But I found it only average as a comedy, maybe because I just couldn't see Ares as a farmer, maybe because the gags were a little obvious and the scenes a little bucolic. Or maybe because Xena and Gabs were (in Rob Tapert's words) kinda doing nothing. ========================================================= This has been a message to the chakram-refugees list. To unsubscribe, send a message to majordomo@smoe.org with "unsubscribe chakram-refugees" in the message body. Contact meth@smoe.org with any questions or problems. ========================================================= ------------------------------ End of chakram-refugees-digest V9 #30 *************************************